041521


Dispatcher Appreciation Week

April 11 – 17th
The Keith Kelley Club is proud to sponsor lunches on Thursday, 4/15/21 to our hard working dispatchers.   Thank you SJPD Dispatchers…past and present.
Retired SJPD Sgt Fred Kingsley passed away peacefully this afternoon (4/13/21).
He had been in hospice care per the family. Details and funeral arrangements can be
obtained via wife Shirley Kingsley @ (408) 313-7733.  —
Barbara Schulze passed away December 31, 2020.Administrative Executive Secretary for the Chief and retired April 4, 1996.
(Any additional information to
leroypyle@gmail.com)

WHAT’S HAPPENING IN SAN JOSE?

IMPORTANT POLICE INFORMATION!

A mint Mojito iced coffee at Philz Coffee in San Jose, Calif. 

Philz Coffee coming to San Jose’s Willow Glen neighborhood

Armed smash and grab at San Jose jewelry store caught on camera

San Jose business owner encouraged by
police response after recent burglaries

DOGGOS



ANOTHER SJPD FISHERMAN — LUMPY DOES IT THE OLD FASHION WAY, HE CATCHES FISH!

Submitted by: Harry Mullins <hmullins08@yahoo.com>
Here are a few photos from the latest 
outing of the Northwest Nude Fishing club I joined.  Sorry, they are not taking any new applicants right now.




Another bit of wisdom from Harry:

A great Grandfather story, almost certainly made up but still great.

 Friends, I don’t mean to get overly religious on you, but this is really good, true story … please enjoy.   A friend told me about his trip out with his grandson.  This is what he said.  “Last week, I took my grandchildren to a restaurant.

 My 6 year-old grandson asked if he could say grace.”    As we bowed our heads he said, “God is good, God is great.  Thank you for the food and I would thank you even more if Grandpa gets us ice cream for dessert.  And liberty, peace & justice for all.  Amen!”

 Along with the laughter and nodding of heads from the other customers nearby, I heard a woman at the next table remark,  “That’s what’s wrong with this country.  Kids today don’t even know how to pray.  Asking God for ice cream!  Why — I never!”

 Hearing this, my grandson burst into tears and asked me, “Did I do it wrong Grandpa?  Is God mad at me?”   After I assured him that he had done a terrific job  and that God was certainly not mad at him, an elderly gentleman  approached the table.

 He winked at my grandson and said,  “I happen to know that God thought that was a great prayer.”    “Really?” my grandson asked.  “Cross my heart,” the man replied.  Then, in a theatrical whisper,  he added (indicating the woman whose remark had started this whole thing),  “Too bad she never asks God for ice cream.  A little ice cream is sometimes good for the soul.”

 Naturally, I bought my grandchildren ice cream at the end of the meal.  My grandson stared at his ice cream for a moment, and then he did something I will remember the rest of my life.

 He picked up his sundae and, without a word,  walked over and placed it in front of the woman.  With a big smile he looked her in the eye and told her,  “Here ma’am, this is for you, you grouchy old bitch.   So shove it up your ass and cool off!”

 Kinda brings a tear to your eye, doesn’t it!

I’m gonna have to consider Harry to be assistant editor after this contribution!
TIPS FROM REDNECK BOOK OF MANNERS
 1. Never take a beer to a job interview.
2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.
3. It’s considered poor taste to take a cooler to church.
4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.
5. Even if you’re certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered
tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.
DINING OUT
1. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the label.
2. Avoid throwing bones and food scraps on the floor as the restaurant may not have dogs.
ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME
1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table no matter how good his manners are.
PERSONAL HYGIENE
1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one’s OWN truck keys.
2. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days.
However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money.
3. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman’s jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods.
DATING: (OUTSIDE THE FAMILY)
1. Always offer to bait your date’s hook, especially on the first date.
2. Be aggressive. Let her know you’re interested: ‘I’ve been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the restroom wall two years ago.’
3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10:00 PM; others might say ‘Monday.’ If the latter is the answer, it is the man’s responsibility to get her to    school on time.
4. Always have a positive comment about your date’s appearance, such as, ‘Ya’ll sure don’t sweat much for a fat gal.’
WEDDINGS
1. Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot.
3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create too sporty an appearance.
4. Though uncomfortable, say ‘yes’ to socks and shoes for this special occasion.
5. It is not appropriate to tell the groom how good his wife is in the sack.
1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun is loaded, and the deer is in sight.
2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way.
3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
4. When sending your wife/girlfriend down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.
5. Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, especially when driving.
6. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.
TWO REASONS WHY IT IS HARD TO SOLVE A REDNECK MURDER:
1. All the DNA is the same.
2. There are no dental records.
(Another tear-jerker)

Irish Compassion .  .   ☘

 A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs. 
 
Three women, from England, Scotland, and Ireland, were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.
 
The English woman said, “Have you ever had a hug?” 
 
The man said, “No,” so she gave him a hug and walked on. 
 
The Scottish woman said, “Have you ever had a kiss?”
 
The man said, ‘No,’ so she gave him a kiss and walked on.
 
The Irish woman came to him and said, “ave ya ever been fooked lad?”
 
The man broke into a big smile and said, “No.”
 She said, “Aye.  Ya will be when the tide comes in.” 
For Friends of The Constitution, including the Second Amendment
What part of “Shall Not Infringe” does he not understand!
WASHINGTON — President Biden on Thursday announced a slew of new gun control measures
after a pair of high profile recent mass shootings, and insisted the Second Amendment doesn’t
grant an absolute right to own guns.

Migrant mess: Number of illegal border encounters spiked 71 percent in March, CBP says

Biden, Kamala still haven’t been to border despite DHS secretary heading for third trip

Rep. Ilhan Omar rips Biden admin over reported border wall plans

Another grim sign the Biden admin aims to hide the worst news from the border

U.S. Navy destroyer stops four Mexicans rowing towards Texas .

The Captain gets on the loud-hailer and shouts, “Ahoy, small craft. Where are you headed?”

One of the Mexicans puts down his oar, stands up, and shouts,

“We are invading the United States of Americato reclaim theterritory taken by the USA
during the 1800’s.” 

The entire crewonthe destroyer doubles over in laughter.

When the Captain finally catches his breath, he gets back onthe loud-hailer and asks,
“Just the four of you?”

The same Mexican stands up again and shouts,”No, we’re the last four.
The other 12 million are already there!”

 

CONSTANTLY IN THE NEWS SINCE MAY OF 2020!
CHARGING RACISM AND POLICE MISCONDUCT.

George Floyd

WHY DO I SUSPECT THE MEDIA AND THEIR ACTIVIST ALLIES OF
ANTI-POLICE CONSPIRACY?

MEDICAL MAL PRACTICE TEACHER ABUSE LEGAL MALPRACTICE
 An estimated 225,000 people die each year from some form of medical malpractice, from incorrect dosages to surgical errors, to wrong diagnosis. This is the third most common reason for death in the United States.

Duxbury gym teacher sued over sexual abuse allegations is 

South Suburban teacher suspended following child abuse …

Legal malpractice is the term for negligence, breach of fiduciary duty, or breach of contract by a lawyer during the provision of legal services that causes harm to a client. 

WHEN DO YOU SEE MEDIA REPORTS OF MEDICAL, LEGAL OR TEACHER MALPRACTICE?

NUFF SAID….

Who would have guessed? Now, they tell us ..






You mean that you didn’t know that
“Ink Cartridges” had a reset button?

With that in mind….. My adopted theme songs!

I Don’t Look Good Anymore