|03-19-21 Pre-Qualification Lunch||03-19-21 Post Qualification Relaxation|
|Ernie Alcantar, Robert Dominguez, Ted Vasquez, George Padilla|
It’s with sadness that we inform you of the passing of retired San Jose police officer Charles “Chuck” Farrow. Chuck passed away on Tuesday, March 16, 2021. He was living in Land O’Lakes, Florida, and is survived by his sister Bonnie. If we receive any more information regarding a memorial service of direction for condolences, we will pass along to you.
Ray Storms, President
Don’t Let the Old Man In
DESPARATIONIf you care for your grandkids and their education, read this!
YES, THERE REALLY IS A WAR ON MATH
IN OUR SCHOOLS
Robin Williams and Johnny Carson
A classic clip from The Tonight Show starring Johnny Carson and featuring Robin Williams. I’m not sure Johnny was fully prepared for Robin Williams’s first appearance on The Tonight Show in 1981. Robin Williams was a crazy comedian who entertained people for years with his strange thoughts and antics. If you enjoyed this be sure to check out Jonathan Winters The Stick.
I’M NOT A BAKER!
6 Fixes To Everyday Problems
Russian basketball player Ekaterina Lisina and her husband
SUBMITTED BY: David WYSUPH <email@example.com>
AND A FEW DOGGOS
WHO LET THE CAT IN?
WATSON IS A SMART DOG
Subject: Traffic stop
Traffic Stop – North Carolina – N.C. State Trooper:
” Registration please Maam. “
Woman: ” Let me look for it. Sorry officer, I can’t find it. “
Trooper: ” Look again. “
Woman: ” It is NOT in my glove box ! “
Trooper: ” Just to make sure Maam, please look again. “
Woman: ” Look Officer, You’ve already ordered me to check my glove box three times.
My registration just isn’t in there !! “
Trooper: ” Ma’am…..Please Check again ! “
Woman: ” For the last time…. I can’t find it !! “
Look again . . . ….
AND ON THE SUBJECT OF CARS…
Humor courtesy of Harry Mullins <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Life can be hard in the tattoo business!
Buttock Tattoo Terror Lands Rotterdam, England, Pair In Hospital
A furious row has broken out between a local tattoo artist and his client after what started out as a routine inking session left both of them requiring emergency hospital treatment.
Furious film fan and part-time plus-size XXXL model Tracey Munter (23), had visited the ‘Ink It Good’ Tattoo Emporium in Wellgate, Yorkshire last week, to have the finishing touches applied to a double buttock representation of the chariot race scene from the iconic 1959 film, Ben Hur.
Tattooist Jason Burns takes up the story.
“It was a big job in more ways than one”, he told us “I’d just lit a roll-up and was finishing off a centurions helmet. It’s delicate, close up work. Next thing is, I sense a slight ripple in the buttock cleavage area just around Charlton Heston’s whip, and a hissing sound – more of a whoosh than a rasp – and before I know what’s happening, there’s a flame shooting from her arse to my fag and my beards gone up like an Aussie bush fire.”
Jason says he rushed to the studio sink to quell the flames, only to turn round and see Tracey frantically fanning her buttock area with a damp towel The flames had travelled down the gas cloud and set fire to her thong which was smoking like a cheap firework.
“To be honest”, said Jason, “I didn’t even realise she was wearing one. You’d need a sodding mining licence and a torch to find out for sure. She could have had a complete wardrobe in there and I’d have been none the wiser.”
Jason and Tracey were taken to Rotherham District Hospital accident and emergency department where they were treated for minor burns and shock. Both are adamant that the other is to blame.
“I’m furious” said Jason, “I’ve got a face like a mange-ridden dog and my left eyebrow’s not there any more. I don’t know about Ben Hur – Gone With The Wind would be more appropriate. You don’t just let rip in someone’s face like that. It’s dangerous”
But Tracey remains both angry and unrepentant.
“I’m still in agony,” she said, “and Charlton Heston looks more like Sidney bloody Poitier now. Jason shouldn’t have had a fag on the go when he’s doing close up work, there’s no way I’d guff on purpose. He’d had me on all fours for nearly an hour. I can only put up with that for so long before nature takes its course. My Kev knows that I give him my five-second warning, and I’d have done the same for Jason, but I didn’t get chance – it just quietly crept out.”
Ted Walters from the South Yorkshire Fire and Rescue service wasn’t surprised when we asked him to comment on what had happened.
“People just don’t appreciate the dangers,” he told us. “We get more call outs to flatulence ignition incidents than kitchen fires these days now that people have moved over to oven chips. We have a slogan ‘Flame ‘n fart – keep ’em apart’ Anyone engaging in an arse-inking scenario would do well to bear that in mind in future. On behalf of the entire Fire and Rescue service, we wish them both a swift recovery.”
You couldn’t make it up!
Another one from Harry:
Man’s Universal Weakness
As a 40-year law enforcement consultant and a frequently called upon crime expert for many national and international outlets including FOX, OAN, BBC-Skynews and lots of local non-cable outlets, I have been telling chiefs and sheriffs for years to produce their own information videos; especially in OIS/ICD cases. You very rarely win with the media. They indeed script their own stories, re-interpreting and misrepresenting what you say. I have even suggested when Trump was President that he didn’t need to have WH press conferences. He needed his own WH Network where he gave his briefings and produced a daily e-Newsletter which was distributed to the media. That in large part cost him the election. It’s fine to include some reporter questions, but you will never get YOUR message out there unless YOU control it.
Law Enforcement Practices Expert
Author, “The Truth behind the Black Lives Matter Movement and the War on Police.” drronmartinelli.com