031821

ATTENTION SNOWFLAKES! THIS PUBLICATION MAY NOT BE FOR YOU.
GO HERE FOR SAFE READING.

EVERYONE ELSE, ENJOY THE FARSIDER!


WISHING YOU ALL A VERY HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS ST. PAT’S DAY!


Anthony Mata, a deputy chief for the San Jose Police Department, has been chosen to serve as the city’s next police chief. (San Jose Police Dept.) 

City Manager Dave Sykes formally presented his chief pick Tuesday morning to the City Council, which approved the selection unanimously after an hours-long closed session.

“Chief Mata demonstrated his ability to lead policing in the 21st century for the City of San Jose, to build trust with our community, and manage the leanest police force of any big city in the nation,” Sykes said in a statement after the council confirmation. Full Story HERE

 

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

Received from: Ron Webster <tucsonron1462@msn.com>

Bud Boman died in December while living in the Fresno area.  Prior to becoming a San Jose officer, Bud was in the U.S. Army for 20 years attaining the rank of Major.  He retired from the PD in 2010 after another 20 years of service.  He was one of the best patrol officers I worked with and he will be remembered for his story telling, unselfishness, and friendship.

After losing parents, 6-year-old embarks on smile mission

SOME MAY KNOW THAT I DON’T DO FACEBOOK SINCE THEY TOOK AN EXTREMEMLY LIBERAL TURN AND DUMPED TRUMP AND A BUNCH OF CONSERVATIVE NOTABLES.

I AM NOW ON MeWe, A SOCIAL APP THAT IS OPEN TO ALL. I INTENDED TO USE PARLER, BUT THE OWNER CLASHED WITH THE VERY LIBERAL FACEBOOK AND TWITTER OWNERS
AND LOST ITS PLATFORM.

SO, CHECK MeWe OUT AT (5)MeWe – The Next-Gen Social Network,

THEY HAVE A FEW LEO GROUPS, TRY IT, YOU’LL LIKE IT!

March 17, 2021

From the President:

A St. Patrick’s Day hello to you.  It looks like the Covid may be on the downswing, let’s hope and pray that things will begin to open up.  As mentioned last month, the POA hall will not be open in April, unless thing really improve; we are holding out for perhaps a May meeting.  Still have no idea on the number of people that will be allowed in the same gathering.   Time will tell.

Best wishes and much success to Tony (Anthony) Mata, named as the new Chief for the Department.

Birthday greetings to the March members.  The inaugural winners for January and February were sent their respective cards.  Hawaii residents John Low and Jim Carlton received theirs without a hitch.  A shout out to John for paying it forward, he asked his son Mark Womack to present his gift card to retired officer Pierre Vida who is recovering from a stroke.  Ken Yules, please provide an updated address, your card was returned.

The March drawing was conducted and the winners of the $25 gift cards are:

  1. John Strickland Dunkin Donuts
  2. John Trussler Lowe’s
  3. Randy Cardin Bass Pro Shops

Your cards were sent out today.

If you may have a question, concern or comment and would like to reach out, my email is:

uunnoo@sbcglobal.net

Until next time, please take care and vigilant out there,

Ernie Alcantar

PBA President

March Birthdays

Aguilar, Pete

Alvarez, Dave (Deceased)

Bailey, Bill (Deceased)

Belleci, Ron

Bermudes, John

Brown, Ernie

Bytheway, Glenn

Cardin, Randy

Carr, John Sr.

 

Chewey, Robert

Cottrell, Keith

Damon, Alan

Evans, Ron

Habina, Ron

Haff, Jack

Hawkes, Ken

Jeffers, Jim

Leavy, Bill

Lovecchio, Pete

Paredes, Chuck

Pulliam, Norv

Ross, Mike

Smith, Kerry

Strickland, John

Summers, Bob

Trussler, John

VanDyck, Mike (Deceased)

Wendling, Jay

Older workers go back to school

The pandemic has pushed millions of Americans into early retirement and forced others to rethink their retirement timelines entirely, prompting many older workers to hit the books. Adult education is on the rise, MarketWatch reports, as people live longer, change careers later, delay retirement and increase focus on upskilling. For many, the goal is to stay competitive in the workforce or pursue a more meaningful “encore career,” with a growing number of learning opportunities geared towards adults, from free online courses to immersive “grade-free educational experiences” on university campuses.

NAMES FOR DRUGS

All drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name.

Example, the trade name is Tylenol and its generic name is Acetaminophen.

Aleve is also called Naproxen.

Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin.

Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra.

After careful consideration by a team of government experts it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin.

Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix and of course Ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one.

Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink and it gives new meaning to the names of ‘cocktails’, ‘highballs’ and just a good old-fashioned ‘stiff drink’.

Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.

Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer’s research.

This means that by 2025 there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.


SPEAKING OF BDAYS AND AGE, DID I TELL YOU HOW OLD I’M GETTING ?

 Greg Wharton sent me a request to subscribe to the Farsider. Not recognizing the name, I replied with, “Hi, do me a favor and reply with your bona fides and a little about yourself. Just for the record. Thanx, Leroy

Greg replied, “Greg Wharton, 51,  Real American, #641A / #4141 (Class 15 – John Carr Jr. ran the Academy) (Reserve 1999-2008, FT 2008-2011 (laid-off), returned to Reserves, R/Sgt. 2011 – present.  My brother is former Sgt. Michael Wharton #3405 (now with the DAs Office).  I moved to Texas (Austin area in 2017  — the Sumners are here, and Gary Petrakovitz). I am corporate lawyer, and since the November election, the Mayor of The Hills, TX.  Below is a screen shot of me mentioned on the PD Twitter.
Oh forgot, I just joined the Board of the Lakeway Police Foundation here in Texas (it’s basically a combo the SJPD Foundation and Keith Kelly for LPD).  Stay well, Greg

Let me know if you need more Leroy, Thanks.
GREG SPENT HIS 20+ YEAR CAREER WITH SAN JOSE AFTER I RETIRED!
ANY WONDER I DIDN’T RECOGNIZE THE NAME?

 

LUMPY SUBMITS:

Subject: Artificial Counter Intelligence… Hey Alexa..

Alexa, I am feeling that I want to have sex.

Alexa :
Most certainly… Don’t worry. I am dimming the lights. Setting your AC to 22 C degrees.

The Viagra is kept on the top right shelf of your wardrobe. The gel is kept next to it.

I have hired your favorite Thai masseuse. She is just 12 minutes away as per her Uber ride status.

I have scheduled her payment from your credit card 2 hours from now.

I have checked your wife’s GPS and she is shopping in a suburban mall. According to her buying checklist stored on my disk, she will take at least 2 more hours, plus according to Google maps traffic analysis, more than 1 hour to reach home.

Enjoy your sex. And yes, your condom is in the pull out drawer of the living room and the key to that drawer is in your wallet.

This is the last condom, so I have added condoms to your Amazon cart….

This is called true Artificial Intelligence…

MEANWHILE……

Wife:

Alexa, have you set it up?

Alexa:

Sure thing, he thinks you are going to take three hours. If you take an Uber home, you will be there in 45 minutes. I’m recording the whole thing with four cameras, you just need to walk in, we have the bastard cold.

I’ve got your divorce papers printed and ready, and your attorney briefed, case documents are drafted and will be completed tomorrow, $1 M. damages plus $10,000 per month alimony.

All set. Your Uber is waiting outside.

Now, this is Artificial Counter Intelligence…

After all, Alexa is a female

 
 

CAUTION: BLOODY

How not to hunt wild boar!

 

 

Women Are Awesome

Dr. Jessie Sanders tests the water in a Japanese koi fish pond at a home in Los Gatos on Sunday. Sanders heads back to her specially painted car during a visit at a home in Los Gatos on Sunday.

GOT A SICK FISH? CALL THE FISH VET
This vet has a keen sense of humor!

e76b5e86-4b31-4ffd-8e95-bf325c23f6cc

EARN YOUR BLACK AND BLUE BELT HERE

 

The Far Side, The original inspiration HERE

China has opened the road between Pakistan and China … 497 miles

Cost of the operation 65 billion dollars. Infrastructure completed in 36 months.  How could they imagine it, and realize it?  It’s breathtaking.

 






HARY MULLINS SUBMITTED THIS: DON’T MESS WITH THE MOOSE!

ANOTHER GOOD ONE FROM HARRY!

Sadly this parody may be closer to the truth.

Harry’s on a roll!
Damn! This cameraman has big brass….. er ones! 🙂

ENGINE UPGRADE

BUT OFFICER…..

 

3D Tree Illusion Art

Deception In The Rainforest

 

SUBMITTED BY: Theodore Sumner tls1580@yahoo.com

JUST SAYING:

Too true!

When one door closes and another door opens, you are, probably, in prison.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
To me, “drink responsibly” means don’t spill it.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
It’s the start of a brand new day, and I’m off like a herd of turtles.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
When I say, “The other day,” I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
I had my patience tested. I’m negative.
* * * * * * * * * * * *

Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn’t fit any of your containers.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
If you’re sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, “Did you bring the money?”
* * * * * * * * * * * *
When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say “nothing,” it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
I run like the winded.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and don’t know whose side I’m on.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, “Why, what did you hear?”
* * * * * * * * * * * *
When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?
* * * * * * * * * * * *
I don’t mean to interrupt people. I just, randomly, remember things and get really excited.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
When I ask for directions, please don’t use words like “east”, “south”, “west”…
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Don’t bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That’ll freak you right out.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever. We call those people, cops.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb

PETS!

Adorable Puppies and Dogs

Awesome Horse Trainer

PATIENCE AT IT’S BEST!

PSSSSST…..LOOK OUT FOR THE BEARS!

 

CONSEQUENCES!

WHEN WATCHING THESEA DS, I AM ALWAYS TORN BETWEEN GIVING TO SHRINERS
OR ANIMAL RESCUE! PICK ONE AND SHARE A COUPLD OF BUCKS!
Shriners Hospitals for Children is changing lives every day through innovative pediatric
specialty care, world-class research and outstanding medical education. Our health care
system provides advanced care for children with orthopaedic conditions, burns, spinal
cord injuries, and cleft lip and palate.
Thank you for watching the ASPCA’s TV commercial and for taking action on behalf of the most vulnerable animals. We work all year long to rescue and protect defenseless animals, but we cannot do it without your help. The ASPCA Guardian monthly giving program is the best way to help animals in need.


WHILE GIVING CREDIT TO DO-GOODER ORGANIZATIONS, T2T IS A NATERAL FOR US!FALLEN FIRST RESPONDERS HOME PROGRAM

ATTN COMMONSEWERS!
How Wine Corks Are Made

ADULT HUMOR – NO ONE ALLOWED WITHOUT
SECRET DECODER RING

SEE LUMPY FOR RING APPLICATION – MUST BE AN ADULT!
TOUCH RING TO SCREEN HERE




Filling a blank spotFinally making myself useful!

YOU SAY YOU HAVE A HOBBY?Million Dollar Railroad

I WONDER WONDER HOW…..

 

This Is Your Internet

How Aircraft Carriers Work
MY EARLIEST MEMORIES AS A CHILD WAS GOING DOWN TO THE DOCKS TO WATCH AS A CARRIER DOCKED
AFTER MANY MONTHS AT SEA AND MY DAD CAME DOWN THE RAMP CARRYING PENNANTS AND TOYS FROM
THE SOUTH PACIFIC. IT WAS A JOYOUS TIME AND WE USUALLY CELEBRATED BY BUYING A NEW CAR. MOM
AND DAD SEEMED VERY HAPPY TO SEE ONE ANOTHER, TOO! 🙂
CHRISTMAS AND THANKSGIVING DINNERS WERE SPENT ON AN AIRGRAFT CARRIER. FOOD WAS DELICIOUS
AND DESSSERT WAS SERVED ON A SUBMARINE PARKED ALONGSIDE.
GROWING UP A NAVY BRAT HAD IT’S PERKS!

PSA:WEAR A MASK IN PUBLIC!