May 3, 2018

The Farsider
May 3, 2018

Bill Mattos, Editor and Publisher <>
Leroy Pyle, Webmaster <>

The Farsider is an independent publication that is not affiliated with the San Jose Police Benevolent
Assn. The SJPBA has allowed the Farsider to be included on its website solely for the convenience of
the retired San Jose Police community. The content of this newsletter does not represent or reflect
the views of the San Jose Police Benevolent Association’s Board of Directors or its membership.



Law Enforcement Night at the California Clasico
Saturday, June 30th
7:15 p.m.
Stanford Stadium

The Clasico is the biggest game of the year! Bring out your family and friends to cheer on the Quakes as they play the LA Galaxy. The night features pre-game festivities in the Fan Zone, salute to the military, halftime show, huge post-game firework show, and a great price for members of the Law Enforcement Community!

Click HERE to buy your tickets online.

For groups of 10+ tickets, please contact Colby Thompson directly at

Note: The POA does not have any further details on this event.



Incoming Class Fields Record Number of Female Officers

By Robert Salonga <>
Mercury News — April 27, 2018

SAN JOSE — Marking a milestone for the San Jose Police Department, more women than ever will be joining the force as another robust academy graduates on Friday.

Nine of the 47 officers expected to get sworn in are women, according to the department. Though they make up only 19 percent of the graduating class, police brass see it as a hopeful sign since the proportion of female SJPD officers has historically hovered between 9 and 10 percent.

With this graduating class and more than 50 recruits in the subsequent academy, the department can now count 1,035 officers within its ranks. The department is currently authorized to have 1,109 officers, and after nearly a decade of staffing turmoil, the department is on its way to reaching that goal.

With more female officers now on the force, Chief Eddie Garcia said the agency can use it as an opportunity to reshape and improve the department’s image and how it works.

Chief of police, Edgardo Garcia, right, fist-bumps recruits before
the start of the graduation ceremony for the San Jose Police
Department’s Academy 28 at the Fairmont Hotel in San Jose.
The class has 27 graduates, the highest number since the
academies were revived in 2013.

“Every police department wants to be reflective of their community,” Chief Eddie Garcia said.“ This shows that while we’re growing, we’re growing right.”

Lt. Heather Randol, commander of the SJPD recruiting unit, said they’ve made progressive outreach efforts in their appeals to potential recruits.

“Talking about how this department and the command staff here supports women, and that they encourage them not only to come here but to be successful,” Randol said.

The increase of female officers is particularly resonant in the #MeToo era that has bolstered society to support and encourage victims of sexual abuse and domestic violence to come forward and report crimes against them, Randol said.

“There are plenty of situations that officers respond to where having a female officer there is certainly going to help a victim,” she said, adding that it’s part of a broader directive to serve residents.

“We need to be able to tell them, if you have a crisis, if there’s something and you feel more comfortable talking to this person, we want to make sure we have that for you,” Randol said. “And that’s not only about men and women, it’s also about diversity across different ethnicities, it spans across everything.”

Mayor Sam Liccardo drew from his past as a Santa Clara County prosecutor trying sexual-assault cases to echo the significance of increased gender diversity on the police force.

“Nowhere was it more apparent to me how important it was to have women in roles as investigators and officers,” Liccardo said. “I had more than a few cases involving teenage victims who felt overwhelmed by fear and a swirl of other emotions, and having a police officer that the victim trusted made all the difference between the rapist going free and a 30-year sentence.”

• • • • •

Police Chief Receives NAACP Award for Department’s Civic Engagement

By Robert Salonga <>
Mercury News — May 2, 2018

SAN JOSE — At a time when national headlines regularly highlight strained relationships between big-city police departments and communities of color, one of San Jose’s most prominent organizations is pointing its spotlight at a different dynamic.

The San Jose/Silicon Valley NAACP branch has recognized San Jose police Chief Eddie Garcia with its annual Cesar Chavez Award for his visibility and accessibility in the city’s neighborhoods.

Bob Nunez, first vice president of the branch, lauded Garcia and the San Jose Police Department as standouts for a willingness to engage with community groups and residents.

San Jose police Chief Eddie Garcia, left,
poses with Santa Clara County Supervisor
Cindy Chavez with awards they received
at the 66th Annual Freedom and Friendship
Gala hosted by the San Jose/Silicon Valley
NAACP branch.

“Eddie goes way out of his way to be out in the community,” Nunez said. “He is out there when things are going well, and when things aren’t going so well.”

Garcia expressed appreciation for the recognition but shared the credit with his officers, pointing out that they are responsible for any successes in the community.

“I accept this on behalf of the SJPD. I can say whatever I want, but unless the officers embrace what we’re trying to do, it means nothing,” he said. “It goes to men and women who wear the uniform.”

Nunez said his travels to other large cities in California have made it evident that community engagement and policing are extolled by most police chiefs, but the evidence on the streets are middling. He said that he is heartened by how frequently Garcia spends his free days and weeknights interacting with residents.

“He really talks to people, and the officers themselves reflect that style,” Nunez said. “If you want to know what a police chief is like, you look at the officers.”

Garcia echoed the idea, emphasizing that peacetime relationships afford patience from both sides during strained times and controversies.

“We’re human and we’re going to make mistakes. The time to build relationships isn’t in a time of crisis,” he said.

The chief also credited the city’s communities for being open to conversations with him and his officers.

“It takes two,” Garcia said. “If communities didn’t want to outreach back, we’d be nowhere. This has been a fabric of this police department, and we’re trying to take it to another level.”



Public Safety pensions are sure to look a lot different down the road than they do now and have in the past…

Illinois Town’s Story Shows Fate Others Will Face in Nation’s Pension Crisis

By Rachel Greszler — April 27, 2018

Generous pensions have always been a prime perk of government jobs. Now those pensions are causing government layoffs, reduced services, and tax increases.

Take Harvey, Illinois. The city has laid off half of its fire department and 13 police officers so it can meet its obligations to its retired police officers and firefighters — the result of decades of over-promising benefits and underfunding pension plans.

The laid-off first responders are just the first casualties of Harvey’s pension crisis. Residents and other government employees will feel the pain as Harvey cuts services, reduces salaries, or increases the workloads of its remaining employees. Harvey’s residents already face a property tax increase. Last year, a court ordered the city to impose a property tax levy specifically for its firefighters pension fund.

Unfortunately, Harvey’s pension woes aren’t unique. Disaster looms for state and local pension plans across the U.S.

A report from the American Legislative Exchange Council estimates that state and local pension funds have promised $6 trillion more in benefits than they have set aside to pay. That is $18,676 for every man, woman, and child in America, or nearly $50,000 per household.

How did this happen?

Basically, politicians have been quick to grant generous pension benefits but failed to set aside enough money to pay for them. And little or nothing — aside from rare self-imposed funding rules — requires governments to properly fund their promises.

But ultimately, even pension bills fall due. And now that pension plans are running low on money, many state and local governments are grappling with soaring pension costs. Over the past three decades, Illinois’ pension liabilities increased 755 percent while its population edged up only 13 percent.

That has caused taxpayers to take a hit and government services — like Illinois’ education system — to suffer. Recently, 89 cents of every new dollar of education spending has gone not to the classrooms but toward teachers’ retirement costs. By 2025, the state will spend more on retired teachers than it does on those who are actively teaching, as well as all other classroom costs.

Skyrocketing pension costs in Philadelphia already consume 16 percent of the city’s general fund. Some point to those costs as the precipitating factor behind what they say are high taxes, dirty sidewalks, pothole-filled streets, and struggling schools.

And there is no doubt that unfunded pensions contributed significantly to bankruptcies in Detroit and other municipalities.

If taxpayers are to avoid paying thousands of dollars more in taxes while receiving fewer government services, and if government employees are to keep their jobs, then state and local lawmakers will need to reform their pension systems.

The first and most essential reform needed is to shift all new workers to defined contribution retirement plans that require state and local governments to fund 100 percent of benefits in the year they are earned.

Second is dealing with existing defined-benefit systems.

While protecting benefits workers have already earned, state and local officials should enact commonsense pension reforms such as increasing the retirement age (which currently can be even younger than 50), requiring employees to pay a higher portion of their pension contributions, reducing future accrual rates, and basing pensions on average earnings instead of employees’ highest three years.

While these reforms will not reduce past unfunded promises, they will improve pension funding going forward, which will help minimize job losses, tax increases, and service cuts.

Of course, if the federal government gives serious consideration to bailing out state and local pension plans — as it is doing for private-sector, union-run pension plans — state and local politicians will have no incentive to enact meaningful pension reforms. The State and Local Pensions Accountability and Security Act would nip that sort of nonsense in the bud by barring the federal government from issuing any form of bailout for state and local pensions.

Rachel Greszler is a senior policy analyst in economics and entitlements at The Heritage Foundation’s Center for Data Analysis.

Click HERE then scroll down to review the readers’ comments about this article. is part of the Media Research Center, a conservative
organization whose chairman is Brent Bozell, who was (is?)
a frequent contributor to Fox News. Click
HERE for more info.



April 26th


I sent this out to some of the CSUS staff today; thought you might find it an interesting subject for the Farsider readers. DNA science is clearly advancing. I do not have any inside information from the DeAngelo case, but Parabon labs in Virginia has helped me put together my class lectures on this new DNA technique.

~ ~ ~

Subject: The new DNA that puts a face to the crime

I suspect you are busy with inquiries about former CSUS student and suspected serial murder/rapist Joseph DeAngelo.

The most likely way DeAngelo was identified as a potential suspect without a new tip to the police, was with a fairly new DNA technique (2015) that I present in the Advanced Criminal Investigations classes called Parabon Snapshot DNA Phenotyping. When there is no match in a national or state DNA database for DNA collected from a crime scene,  the big leap forward in crime solving is now conducting a Snapshot investigation. This may sound science fiction, but it really works and has solved other violent crimes across the U.S. and internationally in the last two years.

DNA from a crime scene, even decades old cases, is sent to an advanced research lab named Parabon Nanolabs. Parabon takes the DNA sample and using Human Genotyping (which was thought to be impossible not too long ago) can produce a snapshot report that predicts the physical traits including a close photo likeness (snapshot) of what the person looked like at the time the DNA was collected.

This snapshot can then be compared against know suspects or run thru facial recognition programs like the FBI’s next gen computer database, or similar systems or going thru old photo records from other government agencies like DMV. It can be very time consuming and labor intensive but Snapshot has become a big deal in solving cold cases. Once you get a close match it is simply a matter of obtaining that persons DNA thru asking for consent, getting a search warrant (which needs probable cause) or secretly obtaining it when they discard an item like a cup or cigarette butt.

Watched a TV interview with a professor from UC Davis last night from their forensics lab who never mentioned this new DNA technique. Not that surprising, since few know about this except those who work cold cases and as far as I know Parabon Nanolabs is the only one capable of performing this expensive analysis that involves high-power computing, mathematics and forensic analysis.

Kind of ironic that DeAngelo is a former criminal justice student and sat in these same buildings back in the early 70’s.

Stephen L. D’Arcy <>

April 27th update: Looks like Sac S/O used Gen Match on the Internet (a free DNA matching service) to locate at least one of the suspect’s relatives thru their shared DNA markers, and work from there to identify him as a suspect.

• • • • •

April 27th


Nice and clean format. Looks nice, but I personally prefer the old format. It took up the entire page, left to right, where the WordPress version on my laptop only takes up part of a page. It’s clean, but it leaves a lot of space.

Otherwise, you guys are doing a great job of putting out the Farsider each week. Very nice of you to take your personal time to get all the news to us. Thank you very much.

Russ L. Russell <>

For the foreseeable future, the weekly Farsider notification Leroy sends out will include two links, one for the original (old) format, the other one for the WordPress (new) format. Readers will be able to choose which format they prefer by selecting the link of their choice.

• • • • •

May 2nd


With the recent publicity surrounding Diamond and Silk’s appearance in Congress after accusing Facebook of labeling the two conservatives as a hate group, coupled with similar charges against YouTube and its parent company Google, do you agree with this opinion offered by Tucker Carlson on Fox News? I mention this because it often seems that half of the Farsider is made up of YouTube videos. (Tucker Carlson link below.)

Talking Points <>

For the record, TP, I often agree with Tucker Carlson. What I don’t understand is why people from the other side of the political spectrum are willing to appear on his show and get beat up like they almost always are. But their stupidity is a different issue. Yes, I saw the clip you sent in, and yes, I fully agree with his views about conservatives being treated unfairly by Facebook, YouTube and other major sites. But as the saying goes, what’s a mother to do? Readers can click HERE to see the Tucker clip TP sent in.



April 20th

The latest electronic version of the Billy & Spanner is now available on-line. Thank you to all who have agreed to receive the on-line version of the newsletter. Click
HERE to view it.



May 1st

The May 2018 eVanguard is now online. Hard copies of the magazine will be arriving in the mail soon. To view it now, click
HERE to go to the POA website, then click on the image of the Vanguard. (You can also access all prior issues of the Vanguard by clicking on the link under the image.)



The Range is currently closed for maintenance and repairs and will reopen on May 14 for retiree qualifications.



Announcing the 11th Annual Bobby Burroughs  Memorial BBQ in Folsom

Date and Time:
Saturday, May 19, 2017
Lunch at 12:00 p.m.
Meeting right after lunch

The Lou Howard Pavilion
7100 Baldwin Dam Rd.
Folsom, CA 95630

(Click on the link below to RSVP and for directions)


Please RSVP if you plan on attending so we can get an accurate head count for lunch. You can RSVP by filling out the form at
THIS link, or by contacting Jerry Ellis at 408-730-9974, or by email at <>.



Contact Cynthia Theobald (SJPD GIU) at 408-537-1270
or Nicole Decker at <> for more info



One Billboard Outside SJPD Headquarters Irks Brass

By Robert Salonga <>
Mercury News — April 28,2 018

Pictured is an undated photo of a billboard at
Taylor Street and Coleman Avenue of San Francisco
police inviting lateral applications — or hires of
currently employed police officers — a few blocks
from San Jose Police Department headquarters.

SAN JOSE — Over the past few weeks, motorists and pedestrians passing by the intersection of Coleman Avenue and Taylor Street might have noticed a fairly prominent billboard featuring a pair of police officers.

But it isn’t just any billboard. It’s part of a campaign by the San Francisco Police Department seeking to entice lateral hires or seasoned officers from other police agencies to join their ranks.

The billboard happens to face east — just a few blocks from SJPD headquarters on West Mission Street — so the vast majority of San Jose officers are likely seeing it either on their way to work or while heading home.

San Jose police Chief Eddie Garcia was not thrilled when the gigantic invitation to jump ship went up within the past couple of months. He immediately thought of striking back.

“The second I saw that billboard, I wanted to put one in the middle of Ghiradelli Square,” he said, referring to the prominent San Francisco tourist attraction.

But cooler heads prevailed, namely that of Lt. Heather Randol, SJPD’s recruiting commander.

Randol convinced the chief to change his mind, arguing that billboards have minimal impact in recruiting.

“What we’ve found is that they’re not as successful as other methods,” Randol said.

But she also couldn’t help but flex on the department’s rebounding retention strength, coming off a nearly decade-long stretch where the agency saw its sworn ranks plummet from a peak of over 1,400 in 2008 to hovering above 900 last year.

“This isn’t four or five years ago. Officers aren’t leaving like they were before,” Randol said. “But we’re not concerned about other departments. We know what we’re doing works.”

Garcia pointed out that it’s actually SJPD now in the position of attracting lateral hires, swearing in five veteran officers last week and backgrounding over a dozen more.

“I think we’re doing something right,” he said.

San Francisco police, which also placed a similar billboard in Berkeley, did not immediately respond to a request for comment Friday.

Who would want to swap the SJPD for the SFPD? Walk down Market St. in San Jose and your shoes stay clean. Stroll down Market St. in San Francisco and you are liable to step in some poo.


This is an FYI for gun owners who may possess one or more of those scary looking so-called assault weapons. Jeff Dooley posted the following message on the San Jose cops’ (10-7ODSJ) Facebook page on April 25th.

For you gun owners. I registered 3 assault guns because there was no way to work-around the new law with the three. Last night at 8 p.m., four 4 DOJ cops showed up in uniform to check my Tavor for a bullet button. I let them in and opened the safe. It was an unexpected visit and a little awkward. If anyone else registered any assault guns with bullet buttons, be aware. An 8:00 p.m. visit without an advanced notice was very unexpected.

I sent Jeff a Google Image link displaying several different models of the Tavor and asked which one was his? Here was his answer…

The top row, fourth gun over is mine. It has a 5 inch muzzle brake to make it 30 inches long which makes it legal. But they keep changing the law. I had to register 3 guns that I could not make California legal. I was able to put mag locks on my AR 15s to make them legal. That means you have to break open the gun to release the magazine. You cannot release the mag without pulling the back pin that opens the gun, then you can drop the mag. They put a longer pin in the ARs with a key chain circle thing so you can pull the pin out. The Tavor, AR 15 pistol and a Kris Vector Pistol I could not make legal in CA, so I am trying to register them. It is a pain in the a–.

Thanks Bill, I think a lot of retirees are not even aware of these stupid laws that only impact good people who are trying to stay legal. And now they are out double checking us instead of looking for gang bangers that buy illegal black market illegal stuff. Really pisses me off.

Jeff <>



Does the headline above make you nervous? Imagine how it makes those of us who live in the East Bay feel. And it’s not just us, it’s also the majority of you if you live in any of the areas below. To access this website and the article that accompanies it, click
HERE, read the article and click on the red button that describes the area where you live.



Too many kids…

From Joanne MacDougall

A lawyer who had a wife and 12 children needed to move because his rental agreement was terminated by the owner who wanted to reoccupy the home with a smaller family. But the lawyer was having a lot of difficulty finding a new house. When he said he had 12 children, no one would rent a home to him because they felt that the children would destroy the place.

He couldn’t say he had no children, because he couldn’t lie, so he sent his wife for a walk in the town’s cemetery with 11 of their kids.

With his remaining child in hand, he and a rental agent went to see rental homes.

When he found one he liked that he could afford, the rental agent asked, “How many children do you have?”

He answered: “Twelve.”

The agent asked “Where are the others?”

With a sad look on his face, the lawyer answered, “They’re in the cemetery with their mother.”

He got the house.

Moral: It’s not necessary to lie. One only needs to choose the right words. And remember, most politicians are lawyers.

• • • • •

Viva the Difference…

From the Archives

Friendship between Women:

A woman didn’t come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend’s house. The man called his wife’s 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.

Friendship between Men:

A man didn’t come home one night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend’s house. The woman called her husband’s 10 best friends, eight of whom confirmed that he had slept over while the remaining two said that he was still there.

• • • • •

The Bank Robber

From the Archives

A guy robs a bank and takes hostages. He asks the first hostage, “Did you see me rob the bank?”

The hostage answers yes, and the robber promptly shoots him in the head.

The robber asks the second hostage if she saw him rob the bank.

The hostage says, “No, but my husband did.”

• • • • •

Looking over the personal ads

From the Archives

Here are some “Senior” personal ads spotted in the Miami Herald…

FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious, blue-haired beauty, 80’s, slim, 5’4″ (used to be 5’6″), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.

~ ~ ~

LONG-TERM COMMITMENT:  Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband, and am looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.

~ ~ ~

SERENITY NOW: I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you are the silent type, let’s get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.

~ ~ ~

WINNING SMILE: Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.

~ ~ ~

BEATLES OR STONES? I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to play the guitar. If you were a groovy chick or are now a groovy hen, let’s get together and listen to my eight-track tapes.

~ ~ ~

MEMORIES: I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let’s put our two heads together.

~ ~ ~

MINT CONDITION: Male, 1932, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, heart valves. Isn’t in running condition, but walks well.

• • • • •

Late night prowler…

From the Archives

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.

“Not a chance,” says the husband,”It’s 3:00 in the morning!” He slams the door and returns to bed.

“Who was that?” asks his wife.

“Just some drunk guy asking for a push,” he replies.

“Did you help him?” she asks.

“No, I did not. It’s 3:00 in the morning and it’s raining like hell out there!”

“Well, you certainly have a short memory,” says his wife. “Can’t you remember about three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us? You should be ashamed of yourself. I think you should help him.”

The man thinks about it for a moment, then does as he is told. He gets dressed, goes out into the pouring rain and calls out into the dark, “Hello, are you still there?”

“Yes,” says the drunk.

“Do you still need a push?

“Yes, please!”

“Where are you?”

“Over here on the swing.”


Lumpy has confirmed this guy is still swimming with the fishes…



—Reruns excluded—

April 24 — May 1

April 24: Old Navy has announced plans to open 60 more stores this year. This is great news for guys who say, “I love khakis, but I just wish they fell apart faster.”

The internet erupted after Melania Trump was photographed wearing a Beyoncé-style hat. And, just like Beyoncé, Melania is recording an album about her cheating husband.

When French President Emmanuel Macron greeted President Trump, he kissed Trump on both cheeks. Then out of habit, Michael Cohen showed up and handed Macron $130,000.

White House physician Dr. Ronny Jackson has been accused of drinking on the job. Today, Jackson defended himself saying, “You’d drink too if you saw Donald Trump naked.”

April 25: It’s being reported that Veterans Administration nominee Dr. Ronny Jackson is known as “the candy man” in the White House because he gave out prescriptions “like candy.” So, now we can all stop asking ourselves, “How does Melania do it?”

French President Macron told Congress he disagrees with President Trump on the Iran nuclear deal and climate change. Macron said, “But other than things that could destroy the entire world, we’re on the same page!”

Kanye West tweeted a lot of praise for President Trump. Kanye called Trump “my brother,” and Trump called Kanye “my one black supporter.”

Bookmakers are giving odds on the royal baby’s new name and the name that came in dead last is “Wayne.” Which is too bad, because I’d love to hear the Royal Guards say, “Please rise for his royal highness, Lil Wayne.”

Body language experts say all the touching between Presidents Trump and Macron was an exercise in primate-like male dominance. And here’s the good news for Americans — apparently our baboon won.

April 30: “Avengers: Infinity War” pulled in $640 million worldwide. That works out to a million dollars for each superhero in the movie.

Porn star Stormy Daniels is suing President Trump for defamation for something he said in a tweet. When they heard this, Muslims, African-Americans, gays, and Hillary Clinton said, “You can do that?”

President Trump welcomed the president of Nigeria to the White House. The meeting started awkwardly when Trump said, “C’mon in, Kanye!”

Pinterest has a new feature that makes it more accessible to blind people. And not to be outdone, Tinder is adding a voice that tells blind people, “This person is fatter in real life.”

The tree planted on the White House lawn by President Trump and French President Macron has been removed and taken away. After hearing about it, Melania disguised herself as a tree.

May 1: Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos says he is planning to spend the majority of his fortune getting himself into space. He said, “I’ve seen what you people buy, and I don’t want to be near you.”

As of this month, Michael Cohen reportedly now owes $280,000 to back taxes. Isn’t that incredible? There’s a porn star named “Back Taxes.”

It’s come out that for years, President Trump has been taking a prescription drug to combat hair loss. The drug’s side effects include headaches, dry mouth, and running for president just to promote your fake university.

A list of questions that Robert Mueller wants to ask President Trump was leaked to the media last night. It turns out 10 of the questions for Trump are just “WTF, Dude?”

In Florida, a man crashed his car, was found to be in possession of meth, then tried to flee the accident to get more meth. Police are describing the man as “armed and consistent.”

The leaders of South Korea, China, and Japan are planning to meet next week to discuss North Korea. President Trump will not attend because he says, “I’m tired of trying to tell them apart.”

Whole Foods is under fire for helping fund an Asian restaurant called “Yellow Fever.” The idea came from their CEO who goes by the name “White Idiot.”

April 26: It is first lady Melania Trump’s birthday today. The president celebrated this morning with a bonkers 30-minute-long phone call to “Fox & Friends,” at the start of which they asked, what’d you get Melania for her birthday? He said he’s too busy to buy her a present — keeping in mind he said this during a 30-minute-long rambling call to “Fox & Friends.”

He told them he got her a beautiful card. A beautiful green card.

And then during the interview, Trump accidentally admitted that Michael Cohen did represent him in the Stormy Daniels “please be quiet now” case. So, happy birthday, honey!

I mean, if ever there was a year to get your wife a nice gift, this would be it. This would be the year. If you could spend $130,000 on a porn star, you could at least spring for a necklace. Right?

Bill Cosby, one of the most beloved and successful TV stars of all-time, was convicted on three counts of indecent assault today. He could very well spend the rest of his life eating pudding in prison.

So they asked Trump, since he isn’t getting enough credit, they asked him to assess his own performance to date. What grade do you think the president gave himself? Let’s find out. [Trump clip] “I would give myself an A-plus.” That’s right, A-plus. Not an A, an A-plus. Just an unbiased review from a guy who names everything from neck ties to meat after himself, an A-plus. I’m going to miss him when he’s arrested, I really am.

Trump’s nominee to run the Department of Veterans Affairs, Dr. Ronny Jackson, his White House doctor, officially withdrew his name from consideration after a lot of bad press. Now Trump has to find someone else to run the VA. Somebody he knows, he wants somebody he trusts. Maybe Colonel Sanders would do it. He’s in the military. He knows chickens.

It is “Avengers” week on the show. Actually, we’re doing a special promotion tonight in honor of “The Avengers.” If you can name all 64 of the heroes who are rumored to be in the new film, you win your virginity back.

April 24: Tonight, President Trump hosted a big state dinner for French President Emmanuel Macron at the White House. It was an awkward moment when Trump said, “I’ll have the President Trump.” And the waiter said, “Sir, that’s not the menu, that’s your name card.” And he goes, “I’ll have the macaroon.” “That’s his name card.”

The main course was rack of lamb. But after Trump grabbed the rack, his lawyer had to pay it $130,000.

The music guest at tonight’s dinner was provided by the Washington National Opera. When Macron asked Trump if he likes opera, Trump was like, “Not if she runs against me in 2020.”

During rush hour here in New York yesterday, a woman gave birth in the back of an Uber. The mother was overjoyed while the other people in her Uber pool were like, “We’ll walk from here.

April 25: Today was Trump’s third day with French President Emmanuel Macron. You can tell they’ve been together for a while, because earlier Macron was like, “For the last time, I do not know the rat from ‘Ratatouille.’ It’s a cartoon. It’s a Patton Oswalt with the voice.”

But Trump and Macron have been doing a lot. They went on a helicopter tour. They had a fancy dinner. They held hands. If things keep going well, Macron will move on to the hometown dates. And that’s when it gets . . . serious.

They had an official state dinner last night, where Melania honored the French guest by wearing Chanel. When asked who made his outfit, the president was like, “Target.”

Playboy is hosting an after-party for Saturday’s White House Correspondents’ Dinner. It’s going to be weird when Trump skips the dinner but shows up at the after-party.

White House physician Dr. Ronny Jackson, who is also Trump’s pick to run the Department of Veterans Affairs, might be in trouble for getting drunk at work. But in Jackson’s defense, if your job was to look at Donald Trump naked, you’d drink, too.

Dr. Ronny Jackson may have been drinking at work. His patients knew there was trouble when they walked in for their physicals and the DOCTOR was in his underwear.

Today, Kanye West tweeted that he and Trump are brothers and “are both dragon energy.” Trump responded saying, “Very cool.” In a related story, Trump just made Kanye the new secretary of Dragon Energy.

Kanye fired his manager this week, and tweeted, “I can’t be managed.” Then Kim was like, “Stop tweeting and come in here.” He was like, “Yes, dear.”

April 26: We have got Kevin Bacon on the show tonight! Alexis Bledel is here. She is in “The Handmaid’s Tale” with Elisabeth Moss, who was in “Girl Interrupted” with Winona Ryder, who was in “Reality Bites” with Ben Stiller, who was in “Zoolander” with Will Ferrell, who was in “Stepbrothers” with John C. Reilly, who was in “The River Wild” with … Kevin Bacon!

This morning, President Trump did a live phone interview with “Fox & Friends.” It was tough for Trump. He didn’t know whether to focus on the questions or watch himself on TV.

You could tell that Trump was excited to call in to his favorite show. When they answered the phone, Trump was like, “Am I the first caller? What did I win?”

I want to say happy birthday to first lady Melania Trump. It’s her birthday. Melania made a wish, blew out her candles, opened her eyes and said, “Oh, crap, he’s still here.”

During Trump’s “Fox & Friends” interview, they asked him what he got Melania for her birthday. Listen to what he said. [Trump clip] “Well, I better not get into that ’cause I might get in trouble. Maybe I didn’t get her so much. I tell you what, she has done — I got her a beautiful card.” And I bet it was a business card. But still, it’s — she loved it.

I heard there’s a new Amazon Alexa coming out that’s made just for kids. After an hour of answering your kid’s nonstop questions, it just puts on a movie to shut them up.

Today Americans celebrated national Take Our Sons and Daughters to Work Day. Tomorrow kids will celebrate New Appreciation for Going to School Day.

Subway just announced they are closing 500 restaurants. People were stunned. They were like, “Subway considers itself a restaurant?”

April 30: “Avengers: Infinity War” had the biggest box office opening of all time. Which is good, because if it bombed, nobody wanted to be the one to tell The Hulk.

Saturday was the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, and Trump called it a very big, boring bust. This is the first time in history Trump has called a big bust boring.

Some people got upset at the dinner when comedian Michelle Wolf made fun of members of the Trump administration. The president was furious. He was like, “Nobody makes a mockery of my staff except me.”

The royal family just announced the name of William and Kate’s newborn son, Louis Arthur Charles. I guess they couldn’t decide on a royal-sounding name, so they just went with all of them.

Amazon is raising the price of its prime membership by $20. Which sounds like a lot, until you remember what it feels like to make eye contact with a cashier when you buy a 40-pack of toilet paper.

May 1: Today President Trump hosted the Army football team at the White House for the trophy ceremony. They all played a game of catch and the quarterback kept telling Trump to go long until he just disappeared.

Trump loves football because the two-minute drill reminds him of his night with Stormy Daniels.

The nominations for the Tony Awards came out today, and “Mean Girls,” “SpongeBob,” and “Harry Potter” all got nominated. Bruce Springsteen is getting a special Tony for his hit show as well. I’ll be watching just to hear Bruce say, “It’s an honor to share this to the world with my Broadway peers, SpongeBob and Harry Potter.”

Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg just attended the premiere of a documentary about her life. Even she was like, “I’m only here because ‘Avengers’ was sold out.”

April 24: Before taking questions from reporters today, President Trump brushed dandruff off French President Emmanuel Macron’s shoulder, and said, “We have to make him perfect.” Then Macron returned the favor by putting a bag over Trump’s head.

Before taking questions from reporters today, President Trump said that his great relationship with French President Emanuel Macron was not fake news. But added that his fake relationship with Melania is not great news.

President Trump and first lady Melania hosted their first official state dinner tonight at the White House. Said Melania, “Which fork do I use to kill myself?”

The Senate today postponed the confirmation hearing for President Trump’s nominee to lead the Department of Veterans Affairs, Dr. Ronny Jackson, after allegations that Jackson over prescribed drugs. And I’m not surprised, “Since Dr. Ronny” sounds like ’70s slang for a guy who sells pills in the park. “I’m pulling an all-nighter tonight, I better go see Dr. Ronny.”

April 25: President Trump met with Apple CEO Tim Cook at the White House today to find out once and for all what an Apple is. “And you eat them?”

Former White House press secretary Sean Spicer appeared in Madame Tussauds today to unveil a wax figure of first lady Melania Trump. And you can tell it’s not the real Melania because — OK, you can’t tell.

The president of Iran today said that he has told French President Emmanuel Macron that he will not change even one sentence of the Obama-era nuclear deal. “There’s more than one sentence?” asked Trump, who hasn’t read it yet.

April 26: Bill Cosby has been found guilty on all counts, and now faces 10 years in prison for each of his three crimes. Oh man, please tell me his lawyer is Michael Cohen.

In an interview today, President Trump said that he’s been too busy to buy first lady Melania Trump a birthday gift. Oh please, I mean it wouldn’t take that long. I’m sure the only gift she wants is an open White House door, and a 10-minute head start.

President Trump in an interview today said former FBI director James Comey didn’t write the memos detailing their interactions accurately, but whose memory are you going to trust? The guy who wrote everything down immediately, or the guy who had to name his son Donald Jr. so he wouldn’t forget it?

The Senate today confirmed CIA director Mike Pompeo as secretary of state. Trump says he’s excited, and looks forward to working with him for the next week or so.

President Trump said today that he thinks NBC should treat him more fairly because he made the network a fortune, but I hate to break it to you Donald, [shows pic from “SNL” Trump spoof] that’s Alec Baldwin.

It was reported that disgraced CBS anchor Charlie Rose is developing a show where he’ll interview other men brought down by the MeToo movement, which brings us to a new segment called “Just, No.” No. No! NO!

President Trump said today that he would rather have an election based on the popular vote, and when Hillary heard that, she laughed so hard her pantsuit changed colors.

As part of an event honoring Germany’s girls’ day yesterday, German chancellor Angela Merkel was seen interacting with a robot, [photo of Merkel with Mike Pence] and it looks like they got along.

April 30: At a rally in Michigan this weekend, President Trump asked the crowd, quote, “Any Hispanics in the room?” And it’s a little alarming that he was holding a net.

At the same rally, President Trump claimed that nobody knows what a community college is. Sure, they do. It’s where Michael Cohen went to law school.

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi raised over $15 million for Democrats in the first quarter of 2018. No word on how she raised the money, [shows photo of wide-eyed Pelosi] but I’m going to guess she won it in a staring contest.

In a new interview, French first lady Brigitte Macron said that first lady Melania Trump is, quote, “actually really fun.” Although, any time you throw in “actually” like that, it’s probably not true. “This flourless chocolate cake is actually pretty good.” “I actually like your bangs.” “Melania actually wants to be married to Trump.”

North Korea has announced plans to change time zones to line up with South Korea. Which means that North Koreans will have to set their clocks ahead — 100 years.

A new study found that one in four Americans said they would have sex with a robot at least once just to try it. Which might explain why your Roomba won’t come out from under the couch.

May 1: The New York Times has obtained a list of 49 questions special counsel Robert Mueller wants to ask President Trump. Well, President Trump still only has the one answer: [Trump] “Stupid question.”

If you want to make it easier on yourself, just ask Trump one question, and he’ll give you 49 different answers. “I did — I did meet with him, but I also didn’t. So, whichever one of those is best for me legally, just put that down.”

Robert Mueller wants to ask President Trump 49 questions, which is about 49 more than Sarah Sanders has ever answered.

Founder Mark Zuckerberg announced today that Facebook has developed a new dating platform and promises the site is not for hookups and will not connect people already listed as friends. So, get ready to swipe left on your mom.

A California man who police say was drunk and hungry broke into a Taco Bell this weekend in the middle of the night and ate taco ingredients. It’s one of those rare offenses where the punishment is the crime.

British officials are warning London residents not to touch recently spotted white-haired caterpillars that can cause rashes, sort throats, and vomiting. But like all white-haired caterpillars, it will eventually turn into something beautiful [photo of Anderson Cooper].

Starbucks has announced it’s adding a triple mocha Frappuccino to its menu that has sweet cold brew coffee, whip cream, and a layer of dark mocha sauce at the bottom of the cup. And next month, Starbucks will announce its new drink, just a straw in a cake.

Asian restaurant chain P.F. Chang’s announced today it will open its first location in China. Of course, over there they’ll be called “PF Charles.”

April 24: Donald Trump’s White House doctor, who Trump nominated for secretary of Veteran’s Affairs, is having trouble getting confirmed by Congress. Dr. Ronny Jackson is being accused of overseeing a hostile workplace, over-prescribing drugs, and even drinking on the job. Then again, I got to say, I think I’d have a drink too if I had to check Donald Trump’s prostate.

A hostile workplace, prescription drugs, and day drinking? On the bright side, today Ronny Jackson was named as one of the new housewives of Beverly Hills.

How did it get this far? It’s almost like nobody took the time to dig into his shady background and lack of judgment. To be clear, I’m talking about Trump now.

A mailman in Brooklyn was caught stashing nearly 17,000 pieces of undelivered mail for more than a decade because he was “Overwhelmed” by the amount he had to deliver. See, I knew Beyoncé wrote M back, I knew she did. I’m not crazy. He didn’t deliver it.

April 25: There were more rumors out of the White House this week. It was reported that President Trump has gone back to making calls to his advisers on his personal cellphone instead of the official White House phone. Trump said he’d use the White House phone, but it doesn’t have “Angry Birds” on it.

Amazon has introduced a new service which allows a delivery person to open the trunk of your automobile by tapping on a smartphone screen so that they can deliver packages to your parked car. That’s if you’ve got Amazon Prime. If you’re just a regular customer, you have to open your sunroof and a drone drops it in from 10,000 feet. This is perfect for the person who has enough money to pay for special delivery, but also lives in their car.

Is this really necessary? If you need something that urgently, I don’t know, maybe use the car to drive to the store and get it yourself.

A 20-year-old man from Colorado recently survived a shark bite in Hawaii. Less than a year before that, he was attacked by a 300-pound black bear. And a few years before that, he was bitten by a rattlesnake while hiking. Based on these incidents, we do know a lot about this man. For example, he must taste delicious.

April 26: This morning, President Trump made a special phone call to his favorite television program, “Fox & Friends.” Trump and the hosts talked about lots of things, and at one point, he was asked to grade his presidency. Take a look at what he said. [Trump clip] “I would give myself an A-plus.” An A-plus! From where — Trump University?

Trump called in on a special day. It’s his wife Melania’s birthday. Listen to what Trump says when they asked him what he got her as a gift. [Trump clip] “Well, I better not get into that ’cause I may get in trouble. Maybe I didn’t get her so much. I tell you what, she has done — I got her a beautiful card. You know, I’m very busy to be out looking for presents, OK?” THIS is the question he doesn’t lie about? Just lie about that one! We don’t care, we’re fine with you lying about that.

Trump says he’s too busy to give a birthday present to his wife. I mean, how much effort does it take to just leave the back door open and say, “You’re free, Melania. I let you go.”

Yesterday, at Madame Tussauds wax museum in New York, former White House press secretary Sean Spicer unveiled a wax figure of first lady Melania Trump to join the existing one of her husband. Those wax figures look so realistic. They actually have more chemistry than the real couple.

Apparently, the library at the University of Utah has installed what they’re calling a “Cry Closet.” This is exactly what it sounds like. I promise this is true. It’s a closet where stressed-out students can go to cry. Because there’s nothing more comforting than being trapped in a tiny dark box.

It’s going to be a shock when those students graduate. Take it from me, there are no “Cry Closets” out here in the real world. You will have to use your car in the McDonald’s parking lot like the rest of us.

April 30: Saturday night was the annual White House Correspondents’ Dinner and once again, President Trump did not attend. And today he seemed to be upset about the jokes directed at his staff, because this morning he tweeted, “The White House Correspondents’ Dinner is dead.” Then again, can you call anything that’s only televised on C-SPAN alive?

Comedian Michelle Wolf hosted the dinner, did the most amazing job. During the dinner, she mocked journalists and politicians. So you can see why Trump was upset — she’s stealing his act.

Trump declared the correspondents’ dinner dead. But saying it’s dead is what everyone does when they don’t go to something. I’ve been saying Coachella is dead for the past 10 years.

Trump skipped the correspondent’s dinner on Saturday night, and instead hosted a rally in Michigan. Trump said he’d rather be around people who loved him, so he went to Michigan and left behind the White House press corps and Melania.

Marvel’s “Avengers: Infinity War” broke the [domestic] box-office record for opening weekend with $250 million in ticket sales. $250 million — that’s nearly one dollar for every character.

That’s so much money, The Hulk is finally able to afford anger management classes. That’s so much money, Iron Man is going to be Gold Man. That’s so much money, in the next movie they’re adding at least two more Hemsworths.

Scientists in Australia just announced that the world’s oldest known spider has died. The spider died at the age of 43 and is survived by 75 bazillion children.

If you’re wondering how they knew how old the spider was, they could tell she was 43 because she would not shut up about SoulCycle.

May 1: Donald Trump’s former personal doctor, Harold Bornstein, revealed that last year three Trump associates raided his office and took Trump’s medical charts. Now, you all remember Trump’s personal doctor in New York, right? Here he is here. [Bornstein photo] That’s really Trump’s former doctor. Just judging by his looks, I’m going to guess this wasn’t the first time his office was raided. I bet it wasn’t even the first time it was raided that day.

I don’t know exactly how the doctor reacted to the raid but I’m guessing it was along of the lines of “Hey man, don’t touch that, man.” “Can you not — dude, come on man!” Even Benedict Cumberbatch was like “That doctor looks strange.”

The raid happened two days after Bornstein told The New York Times that Trump took medication for hair loss, making this the second time Trump has failed at covering up his baldness [picture of Trump’s hair being swept by the wind].

According to reports, White House chief of staff John Kelly has referred to President Trump as “an idiot.” But, remember, it’s okay for John Kelly to mock Donald Trump’s intelligence because he’s not a female comedian at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner.

John Kelly said Trump’s “an idiot” and that “we’ve got to save him from himself.” Save Trump from himself? Just cut him loose and save the rest of us.

A postcard believed to have been sent by infamous serial killer Jack the Ripper has just sold at auction for $30,000. Well, $30,000 plus an extra $0.45 for postage. Paying $30,000 for a serial killer’s note! This is by far the most expensive way to have your friends ask you, “Hey man, are you okay?” The buyer of the postcard was not identified, but I think we all know it was totally Nicolas Cage.

The Natural History Museum in England has disqualified a participant in its Wildlife Photographer of the Year competition after determining that a photograph he submitted was staged using a stuffed anteater. So, add “Wildlife Photographer of the Year” to the list of contests with more integrity than the 2016 presidential election.

April 24: Merci monsieur and Madame. Bienvenue and ratatouille. I have broken out my French accent, because tonight, Donald Trump is hosting a ménage-a-France with French president and homewrecking masseur, Emmanuel macron. It is trump’s first state dinner, and in a major departure from tradition, Trump will not invite Democrats or the media. None of those people are invited. If he doesn’t like you, you won’t be there. Better luck next time, vegetables.

Macron brought a gift for Trump, a young oak tree. And yesterday, Trump and Macron planted on the White House lawn together. All that shoveling is great practice for when trump has to hide Michael Cohen’s body.

White House physician and astronaut who’s not the same since he came back, Dr. Ronny Jackson. The Senate has postponed his confirmation hearing in part because the Veterans Affairs Committee is examining allegations that Jackson oversaw a hostile work environment and allowed the overprescribing of drugs. “Mr. President, open up your mouth and say ‘ah!’ now, put this on your tongue. We’re going to the planetarium!”

April 26: The big story is that in his retrial today, Bill Cosby was found guilty of sexual assault. You know, in the MeToo era, it is gratifying to see a sexual predator, however powerful or popular, finally brought to justice. But you can’t forget, there are plenty still at large. Speaking of which, Donald Trump called in…

Donald Trump called in to “Fox & Friends” today. Did anybody see it? Did anybody see this? Are you OK? Because the interview started strong, but then the president started talking. [Trump clip] “Good morning, and I picked a very, very special day because it is Melania’s birthday. So I said, ‘Let’s do it on Melania’s birthday.’” He also tried that line on Melania — no go.

Then, “Fox & Friends” asked the obvious follow-up: [“Fox & Friends” host] “Do you want to tell us what you got her?” [Trump clip] “Well, I better not get into that because I may get in trouble. Maybe I didn’t get her so much. I’ll tell you what, she has done — I got her a beautiful card.” You’re a billionaire! You got your wife a card?! Do you know what she puts up with? I think she’s earned a shopping spree. I’m going to say, about $130,000 worth.

When asked to give himself a letter grade, Trump showed his trademark humility: [Trump clip] “I would give myself an A-plus. Nobody has done what I’ve been able to do, and I did it despite the fact that I have a phony cloud over my head that doesn’t exist.” Sir, that’s not a phony cloud — that’s your hair.

This interview was insane. It was rambling. It was so loud. It sounded like he was shouting the whole time. I just had the image of an unbathed Donald Trump shambling around in his bathrobe. Neither “Fox” nor “Friend” could get a word in edgewise.

But in their defense, they had to rush the leader of the free world off the phone to get to their actual next news segment: “Buck’s famous scrambled eggs!” The secret ingredient is changing the subject.

And while Trump was on the foxy, friendly “Fox & Friends,” we got an update on Trump’s personal physician, Dr. Ronny Jackson. Dr. Jackson has been under fire for drinking on the job and doling out prescription medication. And this morning, Dr. Jackson withdrew as the nominee to lead the Department of Veterans Affairs. Yup. Yeah. Maybe not the right guy for the job.

Dr. Jackson’s withdrawal is not exactly a surprise. This scandal keeps getting worse. For instance, today we learned that his on-the-job alcohol use was so routine that there was “a standing order to leave a bottle of rum and Diet Coke in Dr. Jackson’s hotel room on official travel.” Oh, he’s not just drinking. He’s “freshman Spring Break in Cancun” drinking. “It’s diet! It’s good for me. I can’t even taste the rum.”

But Jackson denies the charges and says he’s bowing out because these false allegations have become a distraction for the president. To be fair, jangly keys are a distraction for this president.





Click HERE for what’s new.

• • • • •


Plagued by telemarketers even though you are on the “Do Not Call List?” Most of you are. As a public service, we are re-running for the fourth time over the past 6 years this Tom Mabe item that provides an example of action you can take that will discourage a telemarketer from calling you more than once. Click HERE and listen up. (3:11)

• • • • •

If you think you have seen real magic, think again. There is simply no way to explain this performance that resulted in the first Golden Buzzer of 2018 on Britain’s Got Talent. It might even bring forth a tear in your eye. Click
HERE to watch the clip received from Alice Murphy. (9:07)

• • • • •

Let’s drop in on Stanley Roberts and see what the “People Behaving Badly” man from KRON Channel 4 is up to. We first found him in San Francisco with a Disabled Placard enforcement TEAM, then with OFFICERS from the San Francisco CHP office who were ticketing carpool cheats. Each of the two clips runs a little over two minutes.

• • • • •


This clip is from the “hickok45” channel on YouTube where Hickok reviews a shotgun that every cop who has driven a blue and white (or black and white) should be familiar with. If you are a gun aficionado and haven’t subscribed to the Hickok45 channel, you should consider doing so. There are very few handguns and long guns he hasn’t reviewed, and he certainly seems to knows his stuff when it comes to machines that go bang. Just keep in mind that THIS video about the Remington 870 was posted eight years ago. (14:00)

• • • • •

Have a look at
THIS one-minute Nike ad sent in by Lumpy whether you recognize these two famous golfers or not. (1:06)

• • • • •


Navy League Rep Don Hale sent in the latest video promoting the organization that should be worth a few minutes of YOUR time. Go Navy! (3:29)

• • • • •

Breaking News: IKEA has announced plans to market
its own car. (Some assembly is required.)

• • • • •


For you military history buffs, here is a video received from Comrade Kosovilka titled “10 Most Incredible FINDS of WW2.” (10:33)

• • • • •


Remember this? I don’t. I was reading comic books at the age of ten, not newspapers. And I was too young at the time to go to movies by myself where Movietone film clips like THIS presented the news. (1:32)

• • • • •


This is a fascinating, detailed National Geographic animation of how the Titanic broke up and sank, taking 1500 LIVES with it. (2:41)

~ ~ ~

This clip touches on a sensitive subject regarding the sinking of the Titanic: The recovery and sometimes abandonment of the dead
BODIES, narrated by Patrick Stewart (Capt. Picard of the Starship Enterprise). (3:30)

• • • • •


Coming on the heels of similar historical videos of San Francisco, New York City and Berlin that we have included in the past, Don Hale sent in the oldest known footage of London. Much of it is side-by-side footage showing now-and-then VIEWS of the city’s iconic venues. Another case of every single person in the film has passed on. (11:02)

• • • • •


Plan on burglarizing some homes that might be “protected” by a watch dog? Chances are you need not worry. Watch THIS Inside Edition clip and you will see why. (2:44)

• • • • •


Hulk the Pit Bull was seriously injured with a deep cut to his shoulder as well as a broken jaw and shattered teeth when Eldad and Loreta RESCUED him from some railroad tracks with assistance from citizens who notified Hope for Paws about the dog’s plight. (6:03)

~ ~ ~

Eldad and Lisa responded to a report of a stray dog that had been living in an abandoned lot. Little did they know that
EINSTEIN would eventually make a TV appearance with Betty White. (4:14)

~ ~ ~

Eldad teamed up with Loreta again in this rescue of an abandoned dog they named
KEANU. (4:31)

• • • • •


Our weekly Hope for Paws dog rescue videos may have gotten to Comrade Kosovilka’s tender side as he sent in THIS rescue video about Maya that he wanted to share with the rest of you. It took place in Valencia, Spain. (7:41)

P.S. This is from a Turkish website that was based in Istanbul, then Amsterdam and now Valencia, Spain. Click
HERE for info about the founder and his rescue organization.

• • • • •

E. Coli Outbreak Linked to Romaine Lettuce Turns Deadly

By Debra Goldschmidt, CNN — Click HERE

But according to retired cop Les Nunes…

• • • • •


This five-year-old “60 Minutes” segment with a younger looking Lesley Stahl explains why you should consider Walmart or Costco if you are in the market for quality eyeware (glasses). As someone who is about to purchase a pair of prescription sunglasses, this clip was an eye-opener for me. (I make no apologies for any inadvertent puns.) At the end of THIS report, my first thought was that the Italian Mafia has taken over the eyeware business of the world and is doing just fine, thank you! (12:55)

• • • • •

Is it true? Is NCIS Forensic Scientist Abby Sciuto really leaving the series after a 15-year run? Yes she is. For the curious, the actress with naturally blonde hair was profiled two weeks ago on THIS segment of “CBS Sunday Morning.” (7:40)


• • • • •


Surprise, surprise, surprise. Look who Loni Anderson of “WKRP in Cincinnati” fame wound up with after she and Burt Reynolds split the sheets in a nasty DIVORCE. (You are definitely looking good for a 72-year-old, Sweetie!) (9:06)

• • • • •

I’m not sure why, but I find this lady more and more attractive each time I watch this video, and I have seen it two dozen times over the past 18 months. Correction: Make that 25 times (I watched it again while preparing
THIS week’s Farsider). (1:22)

• • • • •


This isn’t a typical Wingsuit story about people jumping out of airplanes and off buildings and mountains because they have a subconscious death wish. It’s about a guy who was leading a normal life before he was diagnosed with a life-threatening form of cancer which convinced him to explore his lifetime DREAM of human flight. (5:16)

• • • • •


We are closing this week’s Farsider by joining a few thousand folks south of the border who attended André Rieu’s concert in Mexico a few years back. The song, La Paloma, is a cut from his DVD “Fiesta Mexicana.” Grab some chips, guacamole and a cerveza or glass of sangria, sit back and enjoy. We’ll be BACK next week. (3:46)

• • • • •
Adios Amigos!

Pic of the Week


Additions and changes since the last published update (alphabetical by last name):

Jim North — Address change

To receive the email address of anyone on the list — or to receive the roster with all of the email addresses — send your request to <>.


Abram, Fred & Connie
Adams, Gene
Ady, Bruce
Agerbeek, Bob
Agerbeek, Rudy
Aguilar, David
Aguirre, Jim
Albericci, Jerry
Alberts, Dick
Alcantar, Ernie
Alfano, Phil
Alford, Mike
Aligo, Cyndi
Allbright, Bill
Allen, Bob
Allen, Chaplain Bryan
Alvarado, Marie
Alvarez, Pat (Campbell)
Amaral, Mike
Anders, Alberta
Anderson, Jim
Anderson, Mark
Anderson, Sharon
Anthony, Tom
Antoine, Steve
Antonowicz, Germaine
Appleby, Judy
Arata, Jennifer
Arca, Rich
Archie, Dan
Avery, Rod
Babiarz, Maryanne
Babineau, Dave & Cheryl
Bacigalupi, David
Bailey, Rich
Baker, Beth
Balesano, Bob
Balesteri, Lou
Banner, Ken
Barikmo, Jon
Bariteau, John
Barnes, Steve
Barker, Ken
Barnett, Brad
Baroff, Stan
Barranco, Rich
Barrera, Ray
Bartels, Don
Bartholomew, Dave
Bartoldo, Tom
Basilio, Les
Bastida, Maggie
Bates, Tom
Battaglia, Nick
Battaglia, Will
Baxter, Jack
Bayer, Lance
Bayers, Dennis
Beams, Bob
Beattie, George
Becerra, Manny
Beck, Brian
Beck, Tom
Becknall, Jim
Beckwith, Tony
Beiderman, Margie
Belcher, Steve
Bell, Bob
Bell, Mark
Bell, Mike
Belleci, Ron
Beltran, Phil
Belveal, Chuck
Bence, Martin
Bennert, Brian
Bennett, Joy
Bennett, Mark
Berggren, Heidi
Bergtholdt, Doug
Bernardo, Guy
Bettencourt, Ed
Bevis, Sherry
Biebel, Phil
Bielecki, Mike
Binder, Andrew
Biskup, Shelley
Blackmore, Chuck
Blackstock, Carroll
Blank, Craig
Boales, Tina
Boes, Judith
Boggess, Eileen
Boggess, Mike
Bonetti, Jon
Borbons, Carl
Bosco, Al
Botar, Rick
Bowen, Gordy
Bowman, Mike
Boyd, Pat
Boyles, John
Brahm, Bob
Brandon, Hayward
Bray, Mary Ellen
Brewer, Tom
Brickell, Maryann
Bridgen, Betty Ruth
Bridgen, Dave
Brocato, Dom
Brookins, Dennis
Brooks, Bob
Brown Jr., Bill
Brown, Charlie
Brown, Dennis
Brown, Ernie
Brown, Marilyn
Brown, Ricky
Brown, Terry
Browning, Bob
Brua, Dale
Buckhout, Craig
Bullock, April
Bullock, Dan
Bulygo, Mary
Burke, Karol
Burke, Ryan
Burns, Barbara
Burroughs, (Bronson) Utta
Busch, Dennis
Bye, Bud
Byers, David
Bytheway, Glenn
Caddell, Jim
Cadenasso, Richard
Caldarulo, Wendy
Calderon, Richard
Caldwell, Phyllis
Camara, Bob
Camarena, Raul
Campbell, Jason
Campbell, John
Campbell, Larry
Campos, John
Cannell, Tom
Caragher, Ed
Caraway, Steve
Card, Christine
Cardin, Randy
Cardone, Lloyd
Cardoza, Vic
Carlin, David
Carlsen, Laura
Carlton, Jim
Caro, Bert
Caro, Lynne
Carr Jr., John
Carr, John
Carraher, Don
Carraher, Jim
Carrillo, Jaci Cordes
Carrillo, John
Carter, Ernie
Cassidy, Kevin
Cates, Dean
Cavallaro, Dave
Cedeno, Rey
Chalmers, JC
Chamness, Hank
Chapel, Ivan
Chavez, Ruben
Chevalier, Brian
Chewey, Bob
Christian, Brian
Christiansen, Bob
Christiansen, Rich
Christie, Kenn
Clark, Bill (the one who stayed)
Clark, Bill
Clark, Kevin
Clayton, Dave
Clear, Jennifer
Clifton, Craig
Clough, Mark
Coates, Marisa
Cobarruviaz, Lou
Coen, Roger
Colombo, Tony
Comelli, Ivan
Como, John
Confer, Rick
Connor, Stephanie
Connors, Kim
Conrad, Mark
Conroy, Mike
Contreras, Dee
Conway, Ed
Cook, John
Cook, Paul
Cooke, Bertie
Coppom, Dave
Cordes, Marilyn
Cornfield, Scott
Cortez, Darrell
Cossey, Neil
Costa, Mike
Cotterall, Doug
Cottrell, Keith
Couser, Rich
Cripe, Rodger
Crowell, Chuck
Culwell, Ken
Cunningham, Stan
D’Arcy, Steve
Dailey, Karen
Daley, Brian
Daly, Ron
Damon, Alan
Damon, Veronica
Daniels, Jim
Daniels, Rodney
Daulton, Rich
Daulton, Zita
Davis, Bud
Davis, Joan
Davis, Mike
Davis, Rob
Day, Jack
Deaton, Caroll
DeBoard, Joe
DeGeorge, Bob
Deitschman, Tracy
DeLaere, Sylvia
Delgado, Dave
DeMers, Buc
Dennis, Sandra
Destro, Mike
Destro, Tony
Devane, Dan
Devane, Joe
Dewey, Rod
Diaz, Mike
DiBari, Dave
DiVittorio, Gerrie
Dishman, Billy
Doherty, Janiece
Dolezal, Dennis
Dominguez, Bob
Dominguez, Frank
Dooley, Jeff
Dorsey, Ed
Dotzler, Jennifer
Dowdle, Mike
Doxie, Tara
DuClair, Jim
Dudding, Bill
Dudley, Bruce
Duey, Dennis
Dumas, Jerry
Dye, Allen
Dwyer, Jason
Dwyer, Pat
Earnshaw, Kathy
Earnshaw, Patrick
Edillo-Brown, Margie
Edwards, Derrek
Edwards, Don
Egan, Mike
Eisenberg, Terry
Ellner, Howard
Ellsworth, Larry
Embry (Howsmon), Eva
Erfurth, Bill
Erickson, Scott
Esparza, Dave
Esparza, Fred
Estrabao, Dario
Eubanks, Earl
Evans, Linda
Evans, Michael
Evans, Ron
Ewing, Chris
Ewing, Don
Ewing, Paul
Fagalde, Kevin
Fair, Bruce
Fairhurst, Dick
Fanucchi, Roscoe
Farlow, Paul
Farmer, Jack
Faron, Walt
Farrow, Chuck
Faulstich, Marge
Faulwetter, Stan
Faz, Dennis
Fehr, Mike
Ferdinandsen, Ed
Ferguson, Betty
Ferguson, Ken
Ferla, Al
Fernsworth, Larry
Flauding, Ken
Fleming, Joe
Flores, Phil
Flosi, Ed
Fong, Johnson
Fong, Richard
Fontanilla, Rick
Forbes, Jay
Foster, Rick
Foulkes [Duchon], Louise
Francois, Paul
Francois, Tom
Frazier, Rich
Freitas, Jordon
Fryslie, Kevin
Furnare, Claud
Gaines, Erin
Galea, Andy
Galios, Chris
Galios, Kathy
Gallagher, Steve
Garcia, Enrique
Garcia, Jose
Garcia, Lisa
Gardner, Paul
Garner, Ralph
Gaumont, Ron
Gay, Brian
Geary, Heide
Geer, Brian
Geiger, Rich
Gergurich, Judy
Giambrone, Jim
Gil-Blanco, Jorge
Giorgianni, Joe
Giuliodibari, Camille
Goings, Mark
Gomes, Rod
Gonzales, Gil
Gonzales, Jesse
Gonzalez, D. (formerly D. Avila)
Gonzalez, Frank
Gonzalez, Jorge
Gott, Pat
Graham, George
Grande, Carm
Grant, Bob
Grant, Doug
Grant, Rich
Granum, Jeff
Graves, Pete
Green, Chris
Grigg, Bruce
Griggs, Fran
Grimaldo, Linda
Grimes, Eric
Guarascio, Dan
Guerin, Pete
Guido, Jr., Jim
Guido, Sr. Jim
Guizar, Ruben
Gummow, Bob
Gummow, Rich
Gutierrez, Hector
Guzman, Dennis
Guzman, Kim
Gwillim, Reese
Habina, Ron
Hafley, Gary
Hahn, Chuck
Hale, Don
Handa, Mitch
Handforth, Terry
Hann, George
Hare, Caren (Carlisle)
Harnish, Mary (Craven)
Harpainter, Bob
Harris, Bucky
Harris, Diane
Harris, Don
Haskell, Marty
Hawkes, Ken
Haynes, Sandy
Hazen, Skip
Hedgpeth, Bob
Helder, Ron
Hellman, Marilyn
Hendrickson, Dave
Hendrix, Dave
Hernandez, Irma
Hernandez, Joe
Hernandez, Linda
Hernandez, Rudy
Hernandez, Vic
Herrick, Mike
Herrmann, Erma
Hewison, Jamie
Hewitt, Dave
Hilborn, Art
Hildebrandt, Karen
Hill, Sandra
Hinkle, John
Hippeli, Micki
Hirata, Gary
Hober, Dave
Hober, Margo
Hodgin, Bruce
Hoehn, Charlie
Hogate, Joanne
Hogate, Steve
Hollars, Bob
Holliday, Sandy
Hollingsworth, Larry
Holloway, Sandi
Holser, George
Honda, David
Hong, Bich-nga
Horton, Debbie (McIntyre)
Hoskin, Wendy
Hosmer, Dewey
Howard, Terri
Howell, Jim
Howsmon, (Jr.) Frank
Howsmon (Sr.), Frank
Hudson, Kim
Hughes, Gary
Hunter, Dick (via daughter Kim Mindling)
Hunter, Jeff
Husa, Sonia
Hyland, Brian
Ibarra, Miguel
Imobersteg, Rob
Inami, Steve & Francine
Ingraham, George
Ireland, Joe
Jackson, Curt
Jacksteit, Ken
Jacobson, Barbara
Janavice, Dean
Jeffers, Jim
Jenkins, Dave
Jensen, Dan
Jensen, Janie
Jewett, Donna
Jepson, Cliff
Jezo, Pat
Johnson, Bob
Johnson, Craig
Johnson, Cynthia
Johnson, Dave
Johnson, Gary
Johnson, Jon
Johnson, Karen
Johnson, Kyle
Johnson, Mardy
Johnson, Tom & Fran
Jones, Russ
Jones, Wayne
Kaminsky, Glenn
Katashima, Annie
Katz, Dan
Keneller, Dave
Kennedy, Scott
Kennedy, Tom
Kensit, John
Killen, Pat
Kimbrel, Tammy
Kinaga, Rose
King, Charlie
Kingsley, Fred
Kirby, Erwin
Kirkendall, Dave
Kischmischian, Gene
Klein, Lou Anna
Kleman, Karl
Knea, Tim
Kneis, Brian
Knopf, Dave
Kong, Ernie
Kosovilka, Bob
Kozlowski, Astrid
Kracht, John
Kregel, John
Kunesh, Cindy
Kurz, Jennifer
Lagergren, Fred
Lanctot, Noel
Laney, Tammy
Lansdowne, Sharon
Lara, Bill
LaRault, Gary
Larsen, Bill
Laverty, Ann
Lax, John
Leak, Felecia
Leavy, Bill
Leavey, Jack
LeGault, Anna
LeGault, Russ
Lem, Noland
Leonard, Gary
Leonard (Lintern), Lynda
Leong, Ken
Leroy, Jim
Lewis, Lefty
Lewis, Marv
Lewis, Steve
Lind, Eric
Linden, Larry
Lisius, Jim
Little, Keith
Livingstone, John
Lobach, Bob
Lockwood, Bob
Lockwood, Joan
Logan, Maureen
Longaker, Mary
Longoria, Noe
Lopez, Candy
Lopez. Dan
Lopez, Ruvi
Lovecchio, Pete
Low, John
Lu, Elba
Luca, Dennis
Lucarotti, Jim
Luna, Gloria
Lundberg, Larry
MacDougall, Joanne
Macris, Carly
Macris, Tom
Madison, Gary
Maehler, Mike
Mahan, Rick
Malatesta, Jim
Malcolm, Roger
Mallett, Bill
Malvini, Phil
Mamone, Joe
Marcotte, Steve
Marfia, John
Marfia, Ted
Marin, Julie
Marini, Ed
Marlo, Jack
Marsh, Scott
Martin, Brad
Martin, Lou
Martin, Todd
Martinelli, Ron
Martinez, Rick
Martinez, Victor
Matteoni, Charlotte
Mattos, Bill
Mattos, Paula
Mattocks, Mike
Mayo, Lorraine
Mayo, Toni
Mazzone, Tom
McCaffrey, Mike
McCain, Norm
McCall, George
McCall, Lani
McCarville, John
McCollum, Bob
McCollum, Daniele
McCready, Tom
McCulloch, Al
McCulloch, Scott
McDonald, Joey
McElvy, Mike
McFall, Ron
McFall, Tom
McGuffin, Rich
McGuire, Pat
McIninch, Mark
McKean, Bob
McKenzie, Dennis
McLucas, Mike
McMahon, Jim
McMahon, Ray
McNamara, Laurie
McTeague, Dan
Meheula, Cheryl
Mendez, Deborah
Mendez, Mike
Messier, Tom
Metcalfe, Dave
Metcalfe, Mickey
Miceli, Sharon
Miller, Keith
Miller, Shirley
Miller, Stan
Miller, Toni
Mills, Don
Miranda, Carlos
Mitchell, Carol
Modlin, Dick
Mogilefsky, Art
Moir, Bob
Monahan, Chris
Montano, Wil
Montes, José
Morales, Octavio
Moore, Dewey
Moore, Don
Moore, Jeff
Moore, JoAnn
Moorman, Jim
Morella, Ted
Moreno, Norma
Morgan, Dale
Morin, Jim
Morris, Jack
Morton, Bruce
Mosley, Joe
Mosunic, Taffy
Moudakas, Terry
Moura, Don
Mozley, Ron
Muldrow, Mark “Mo”
Mulholland, Kathy
Mullins, Harry
Mulloy, Dennis
Munks, Jeff
Munoz, Art
Murphy, Bob
Musser, Marilynn
Nagel, Michael
Nagengast, Carol
Nakai, Linda
Nalett, Bob
Namba, Bob
Nascimento, Mike
Nelson, Ed
Ngo, Phan
Nichols, John
Nichols, Mike
Nimitz, Stephanie
Nissila, Judy
Norling, Debbie
North, Dave
North, Jim
Norton, Peter
Norton, Phil
Nunes, John
Nunes, Les
O’Carroll, Diane (Azzarello)
O’Connor, Mike
O’Donnell, Tom
O’Keefe, Jim
Oliver, Pete
Ortega, Dan
Ortiz, Leanard
Otter, Larry
Ouimet, Jeff
Ozuna, George
Pacheco, Russ
Padilla, George
Pagan, Irma
Painchaud, Dave
Palsgrove, Ted
Panighetti, Paul
Papenfuhs, Steve
Paredes, Carlos
Parker, Rand
Parrott, Aubrey
Parsons, Dirk
Parsons, Mike
Pascoe, Brent
Passeau, Chris
Pate, Neal
Patrino, Lyn
Paxton, Bob
Payton, George
Pearce, Jim
Pearson, Sam
Pedroza, Frank
Peeler, Eleanor
Pegram, Larry
Pennington, Ron
Percelle, Ralph
Percival, John
Perry (Cervantez), Martha
Peterson, Bob
Phelps, Scott
Phillips, Gene
Piper, Will
Ken Pitts
Pitts, Phil
Plinski, Leo
Pointer, John
Polanco, Mary
Polmanteer, Jim
Porter, John
Postier, Ken
Postier, Steve
Powers, Bill
Priddy, Loren
Princevalle, Roger
Pringle, Karl
Propst, Anamarie
Pryor, Steve
Punneo, Norm
Purser, Owen
Pyle, Leroy
Quayle, John
Quezada, Louis
Quinn, John
Quint, Karen
Ramirez, Manny
Ramirez, Roland
Ramirez, Victoria
Ramon, Chacha
Raposa, Rick
Rappe (Ryman), Bonnie
Rasmussen, Charlene
Ratliff, Fran
Raul, Gary
Raye, Bruce
Realyvasquez, Armando
Reed, Nancy
Reek, Rob
Reeves, Curt
Reid, Fred
Reinhardt, Stephanie
Reizner, Dick
Rendler, Will
Rettus, Bev
Retuta, Rene
Reuter, Larry
Reutlinger, Leslie
Reyes (Buell), Cindy
Reyes, Juan
Reyes, Mo
Rheinhardt, Bob
Rice, Jayme
Rice, Lyle
Richter, Darrel
Riedel, Gunther
Rimple, Randy
Roach, Jim
Roberts, Mike
Robertson, Harry
Robinson, Walt
Robison, Rob
Rodgers, Phil
Rogers, Lorrie
Romano, Bill
Romano, Marie
Rose, John
Ross, Joe
Ross, Mike
Rosso, Ron
Roy, Charlie
Royal, Julie
Ruiloba, Louie
Russell, Russ
Russell, Stan
Russo, Grace
Ruth, Leo
Ryan, Joe
Ryan, Larry
Saito, RIch
Salamida Joe
Salewsky, Bill
Salguero, Desiree
Salvi, Pete
Samsel, Dave
Sandoval, Thomas
Santos, Bill
Sauao, Dennis
Savage, Scott
Savala, john
Sawyer, Craig
Scanlan, Pete
Scannell, Dave
Schembri, Mike
Schenck, Joe
Schenini (Alvarez), Joanne
Schiller, Robert
Schmidt, Chuck
Schmidt, Paul
Schriefer, Hank
Seaman, Scott
Seck, Tom
Sekany, Greg
Seymour, Chuck
Seymour, Jim
Sharps, Betty
Shaver, John
Sheppard, Jeff
Sherman, Gordon
Sherr, Laurie
Shigemasa, Tom
Shuey, Craig
Shuman, John
Sides, Roger
Sills, Eric
Silva, Bill
Silveria, Linda
Silvers, Jim
Simpson, Terry
Sinclair, Bob
Sly, Sandi
Smith, Betty
Smith, BT
Smith, Craig
Smith, Ed
Smith, Frank
Smith, Jerry
Smith, Karen
Smith, Kerry
Smith, Mike
Smoke, Wil
Sorahan, Dennis
Spangenberg, Hal
Spence, Jim
Spicer, John
Spitze, Randy
Spoulos, Dave
Springer, George
Stauffer, Suzan
Stelzer, Rex
Sterner, Mike
Strickland, John
Sturdivant, Billy
Sugimoto, Rich
Suits, Jim
Summers, Bob
Sumner, Ted
Sun, Jeff
Sun, Wei
Suske, Joe
Swanson, Ray
Tanaka, Ken
Tarricone, Linda
Tate, Bill
Taves, Phil & Paula
Taylor, Joyce
Tenbrink, Bob
Tennant, Ed
Teren-Foster, Aileen
Terry, Glenn & Maggie
Thawley, Dave
Thayer, Dean
Theobald, Cynthia
Thomassin, Ron
Thomas, Art
Thompson, Gary
Thompson, Margie
Thompson, Mike
Tibaldi, Ernie
Tibbet, Walt
Tice, Stan
Tietgens, Dick
Tietgens, Don
Tomaino, Jim
Torres, John
Torres, Nestor
Torres, Ralph
Townsend, John
Townsend, Vicki
Tozer, Dave
Trapp, Greg
Trevino, Andy
Trujillo, Ted
Trussler, Christine
Trussler, John
Tush, Lorraine
Tyler, Diana
Unger, Bruce
Unland, Joe
Urban, Diane
Usoz, Steve
Valcazar, Dan
Vallecilla, Ernie & Peggy
Van Dyck, Lois
Vanegas, Anna
Vanek, John
Vasquez, Danny
Rich Vasquez
Vasquez, Ted
Vasta, Joe
Videan, Ed
Videan, Theresa
Vidmar, Mike
Vincent, Bill
Vinson, Jim
Vizzusi, Gilbert
Vizzusi, Mike
Vizzusi, Rich
Vizzusi, Tony
Waggoner, Bill
Wagner, Jim
Wagstaff, Greg
Wahl, John
Walker, Dave
Wall, Chuck
Ward, Jean
Watts, Bob
Way, Vicky
Webster, Ron
Wedlow, Dean
Weesner, Greg
Weir, Tony
Welker, Jessica
Wells, Bill
Wells, Brenda
Wells, Mike
Wendling, Boni
Wendling, Jay
Werkema, Jim
Weston, Tom
Wheatley, Tom
White, Rich
Wicker, Joe
Wiley, Bruce
Williams, Jodi
Williams [Durham], Lanette
Williams, Rick
Williamson, Kathleen
Williamson, Ken
Wilson, Caven
Wilson, Jeff
Wilson, Jerry
Wilson, Lee
Wilson, Neal
Wilson, Stan
Wilson, Tom
Windisch Jr., Steve
Wininger, Steve
Winter, Bill
Wirht, Kim
Witmer, Dave
Wittenberg, Jim
Wolfe, Jeff
Womack, Kenn
Wong, Andrew
Woo, Paul
Wood, Dave
Wood, Jim
Woodington, Brad
Wysuph, Dave
Yarbrough, Bill
Young, Mike
Younis, Tuck
Yuhas, Dick
Yules, Ken
Zalman, Ginny
Zanoni, Mike
Zaragoza, Phil
Zenahlik, Tom
Zimmerman, Eliza
Zwemke, Doug