April 19, 2018
The Farsider is an independent publication that is not affiliated with the San Jose Police Benevolent
Assn. The SJPBA has allowed the Farsider to be included on its website solely for the convenience of
the retired San Jose Police community. The content of this newsletter does not represent or reflect
the views of the San Jose Police Benevolent Association’s Board of Directors or its membership.
We have free tickets to Operation Care and Comfort’s Salute to the Military game, being played by the San Jose Giants vs. Modesto Nuts game on Saturday, April 21st. The tickets will be available for pick up in the lobby of the the POA office during normal business hours (8 a.m. – 5 p.m.). We will not be holding any tickets, so there is no need to call.
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Operation Care and Comfort has once again partnered with the San Jose Giants for the annual Military Appreciation Game. We are proud to honor the service of two of our very own: Chaplain Dave Bridgen and Retired Officer Juan M. Reyes will be honored in this year’s Military Trading Card and set and in an on-field presentation before the game at approximately 4:30 p.m.
Please join us in honoring Chaplain Bridgen and Retired Officer Reyes for their military service to the United States of America.
Gates open at 3:30 p.m. — Game time is 5:00 p.m.
THE TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS OF SAN JOSE AND THE SJPD
Yerba Buena Senior Awarded Inaugural SJPD College Scholarship
Amanda Doan was surprised with the news she earned
$40,000 for college from the police foundation.
By Robert Salonga <email@example.com>
Mercury News — April 18, 2018
SAN JOSE — If your city’s police chief, district superintendent, high school principal and parents suddenly surprised you in class, more than likely you might feel uneasy.
But not 17-year-old Yerba Buena High School senior Amanda Doan, who quickly realized why they all showed up: She is first ever to receive a scholarship by the San Jose Police Department.
It’s no small honor: The newly established college fund provides $40,000 for four years of tuition and academic expenses — a huge financial relief for Doan who plans to attend UC Santa Barbara in the fall.
“This is a lot for a Tuesday morning,” Amanda said with a laugh after the impromptu in-class presentation, which included an out-sized novelty check. “I’m feeling kind of stunned. At first I was really worried about how to finance my journey to college. I thought that I would have to work multiple jobs to make ends meet. (The scholarship) means I don’t have to spend my time working when I could be studying instead.”
Chief Eddie Garcia spearheaded the creation of the scholarship, which for now is focused on students from the East Side Union High School District, with broader aims of expansion.
“Our whole role as a police department is about building stronger communities,” Garcia said. “Whether it be by taking a criminal element off the street, or whether it’s giving something back to ensure that communities and families are strengthened. We wanted to change lives for the better.”
Yerba Buena High School senior Amanda Doan was recognized
as the inaugural recipient of the San Jose Police Department’s
Chief’s Scholarship at the East San Jose campus.
Amanda was selected from 75 applicants and, eventually, four finalists, said Kate Levin, executive director of the San Jose Police Foundation.
Levin said the general criteria of the scholarship covered high academic performance, but also put a premium on character, leadership, and an inclination toward service.
Yerba Buena principal Tom Huynh said Amanda easily checks all of those boxes.
“She gives back to the school community, and is a very active part of the leadership,” Huynh said. “She’s vibrant, and students look up to her as a role model.”
Levin said in her scholarship interview, Amanda exuded a calm and assured demeanor that was well beyond her years.
“The (selection) committee was impressed with Amanda’s poise, and how articulate she was,” she said. “She is committed to her community, and making an impact locally and globally. She is someone who will go out and make us proud.”
Levin added that the three other finalists — Jasmine Ngo from Silver Creek, Huong Nguyen from Independence, and Katherine Nguyen from Santa Teresa — will receive one-time awards for their efforts and achievements.
Before her class was “disrupted,” Amanda was studying forensic anthropology, a sort of cosmic alignment given the police origins of her new academic windfall.
And her detection skills were on high alert Tuesday morning. She started thinking something was up when she got unexpected follow-up email messages about the status of the scholarship.
“Then it was when people I didn’t tell about the scholarship started asking me about this particular scholarship,” said Amanda, who plans to study communications.
Then she stumbled on the giveaway: “I actually walked into the principal’s office and I saw my parents sitting down, I was kind of suspicious because I saw balloons.”
Her mother, Huong Pham, was beaming in the office.
“I’m so very happy and proud,” she said.
By that point, Amanda said, she had connected all the dots.
“I was surprised because my parents, growing up, worked seven days a week,” she said. “Seeing them here today is astonishing. They wouldn’t take time off work if it wasn’t for something as important as this.”
And keeping with the spirit of the scholarship, Amanda swiftly and astutely recognized what her selection means both for herself and other students from her community.
“I just want to thank the San Jose Police Department for funding this,” she said. “As this program grows, it’s going to impact so many students’ lives. Not just my own, but other students in East Side.”
HAPPY APRIL BIRTHDAY
Well this is sort of embarrassing. Of the 72 members present at last night’s PBA meeting, only one of the 22 members who had an April birthday was present, and that ‘birthday boy’ was Ricky Williams. There was, however, no shortage of members who volunteered their services to hand deliver said cake to the tables. (Photo by Aubrey “Bird” Parrott.)
RANGE QUALIFICATION INFO
The Range is currently closed for maintenance and repairs and will reopen on May 14 for retiree qualifications.
RSVP NOW FOR THE BOBBY BURROUGHS MEMORIAL BARBECUE IN FOLSOM
Announcing the 11th Annual Bobby Burroughs Memorial BBQ in Folsom
Date and Time:
Saturday, May 19, 2017
Lunch at 12:00 p.m.
Meeting right after lunch
The Lou Howard Pavilion
7100 Baldwin Dam Rd.
Folsom, CA 95630
(Click on the link below to RSVP and for directions)
Please RSVP if you plan on attending so we can get an accurate head count for lunch. You can RSVP by filling out the form at THIS link, or by contacting Jerry Ellis at 408-730-9974, or by email at <firstname.lastname@example.org>.
SAVE THE DATE…
Contact Cynthia Theobald (SJPD GIU) at 408-537-1270
or Nicole Decker at <email@example.com> for more info
LOOKING BACK 112 YEARS TO THE SAN FRANCISCO EARTHQUAKE AND FIRE
Yesterday was the 112th year anniversary of the San Francisco earthquake and fire that devastated the City by the Bay. Coincidentally or not, film footage taken just after the disaster that was believed to have been lost has recently been found. We’ll feed you the first few paragraphs of a New York Times article about the finding, then provide you with the link to the entire story…
Found Footage Offers a New Glimpse at 1906 San Francisco Earthquake
Nine minutes of newly found footage, restored from an aging film reel that was revealed publicly this weekend, shows the aftermath of the earthquake that devastated San Francisco in 1906.
By Niraj Chokshi
New York Times — April 14, 2018
On Saturday night, a small crowd filled a 120-seat theater in Fremont, Calif., to watch a movie unlike any other on the big screen, one that offers a fresh look at a tragic chapter in American history.
The nine-minute silent film, much of it previously thought to be lost, shows the ruins left by the earthquake that ravaged San Francisco 112 years ago, according to David Kiehn, a film historian who helped to identify and restore the footage, which he said was originally shot by the pioneering Miles Brothers film studio in San Francisco.
The rediscovered work is a fitting follow-up to the famous Miles Brothers production “A trip down Market Street before the fire,” which shows the bustling city just days before the earthquake, its inhabitants unaware of the disaster to come on April 18, 1906.
Click HERE to read the rest of the story.
We featured “A Trip Down Market Street” here in the Farsider on three occasions over the past ten years. It was a “60 Minutes” segment that was presented by former 60 Minutes correspondent Morley Safer (1931-2016) back on Oct. 17, 2010. Whether this is your first viewing of the film or your tenth, you should find it fascinating. Remember, almost everyone you are about to see — including Morley — has since passed on. Click HERE to view the “60 Minutes” segment. (12:30)
CAUTION: THIS COULD MAKE YOUR BLOOD BOIL…
Fresno State professor Stirs Outrage, Calls Barbara Bush an ‘Amazing Racist’
By Bryant-Jon Anteola <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Fresno Bee — April 17, 2018
A Fresno State professor called former first lady Barbara Bush an “amazing racist” who raised a “war criminal,” and expressed no concern that she could be fired or reprimanded for her outspokenness on social media.
Randa Jarrar, a professor in Fresno State’s Department of English, expressed her displeasure with the Bush family within an hour after the official announcement that Mrs. Bush died Tuesday at the age of 92.
“Barbara Bush was a generous and smart and amazing racist who, along with her husband, raised a war criminal,” Jarrar wrote on Twitter. “F— outta here with your nice words.”
Jarrar’s tweet generated more than 2,000 replies back to her, with many upset at her and tagging Fresno State and University President Joseph Castro in their comments.
Jarrar, who in her Twitter messages describes herself as an Arab-American and a Muslim-American woman, goes on to maintain that she is a tenured professor and makes $100,000 a year.
“I will never be fired,” Jarrar tweeted.
In a separate tweet, she wrote: “If you’d like to know what it’s like to be an Arab American Muslim American woman with some clout online expressing an opinion, look at the racists going crazy in my mentions right now.”
Jarrar even encouraged those of Twitter to reach out to Fresno State and to Castro, offering up their Twitter handles.
“What I love about being an American professor is my right to free speech, and what I love about Fresno State is that I always feel protected and at home here,” Jarrar wrote. “GO BULLDOGS!”
By around 10:21 p.m., Jarrar made her Twitter account private. The Fresno Bee took screen shots of her tweets when the account was public.
Jarrar also changed her Twitter bio, removing the titles of her books and instead writing, “Currently on leave from Fresno State. This is my private account and represents my opinions.”
The university confirmed Jarrar has been on leave all semester.
On Amazon, negative reviews for her books began to appear, apparently in reaction to her tweets.
Fresno State, roughly three hours after Jarrar’s initial tweet about Bush, sent out a statement by Castro that addressed the outspoken professor.
“On behalf of Fresno State, I extend my deepest condolences to the Bush family on the loss of our former First Lady, Barbara Bush,” Castro says in the statement. “We share the deep concerns expressed by others over the personal comments made today by professor Randa Jarrar, a professor in the English Department at Fresno State.
“Her statements were made as a private citizen, not as a representative at Fresno State.”
Castro also added: “Professor Jarrar’s expressed personal views and commentary are obviously contrary to the core values of our University, which include respect and empathy for individuals with divergent points of view, and a sincere commitment to mutual understanding and progress.”
The university is still looking into the matter, according to spokeswoman Patti Waid.
Messages left with Jarrar were not immediately returned.
Click HERE to see screen shots of Jarrar’s tweets.
The Muslim professor apparently doesn’t realize she is setting back
Arab-American relations by about a thousand years.
HAS SAN JOSE SOLD ITS SOUL FOR MILLIONS IN TAXES FROM MARIJUANA SALES?
Approve of legal marijuana or not, we found this in-depth article about the results of the passage of Prop 64 of interest…
Marijuana is Legal, but Facing Roadblocks
—Only 1 in 7 cities allow recreation pot stores—
By Brooke Staggs and Ian Wheeler — Southern California News Group
Mercury News — April 15, 2018
Eighteen months after California voters enthusiastically endorsed legal marijuana, just one in seven cities in the state allow recreational cannabis stores, according to a first-of-its-kind study by this news organization and its California partners. And only one in three allow any kind of cannabis business at all.
Proposition 64, approved by 57 percent of state voters in November 2016, promised to bring California into a hazy new age, making it legal for people to carry up to an ounce of marijuana and to grow it at home. But it also gave cities and counties a strong say into exactly what would be allowed and when. The result is a crazy quilt of regulation.
Our study is the most comprehensive look to date at how the Marijuana industry is taking shape. Some towns— among them San Jose and Oakland— are cannabis friendly, allowing a wide range of businesses to cultivate or peddle a product that residents are free to use. Other cities — including many smaller jurisdictions across the Bay Area — are less enthusiastic, with some blocking virtually every type of marijuana- related enterprise and, in some cases, passing ordinances that seem aimed at regulating personal use as much as possible, despite the voters’ will.
We began gathering details on local marijuana policies last year. In January, just as recreational sales became legal, we launched a database with some of that information, offering cannabis rules from about half the state. Now, with the state about to celebrate its first 4/20 since sales began, we’ve upgraded that work, with rules from all 540 city and county jurisdictions in California.
The information is included in our online database, where readers can search policies by location or by business type. You can also sort cities on our 100-point scale of marijuana friendliness. You can view the full searchable database at <https://bayareane.ws/cannabisdatabase>.
The data reveals some interesting trends, conflicts and anomalies. It also shows that leaders in some communities are far less enthusiastic (and in a small number of cases, more enthusiastic) about cannabis than the residents who voted for and against Prop 64.
Among the findings:
• Fewer than one in three California cities (144 out of 482) allow any kind of cannabis business to operate in their borders. And just 18 of the state’s 58 counties permit cannabis businesses in unincorporated areas.
• Fewer than one in five California cities even allow medical marijuana dispensaries, even though medical marijuana has been legal in California since 1996.
• Of the 144 cities that permit marijuana businesses in their borders, just 57 are levying taxes on the industry (which doesn’t mean cannabis in the 87 others is tax-free; there is a state tax of 15 percent). That’s largely because Proposition 64 requires governments to get voter approval for their tax schemes. But cities that have approved taxes are beginning to rake in the dough: San Jose made nearly $2.2 million in cannabis revenue in the first two months of the year, while Oakland made $2.86 million in the first quarter.
• While state law says cities cannot completely ban adults from growing six marijuana plants, officials from two tiny Northern California towns — Gridley in Butte County and Montague in Siskiyou County— do exactly that, saying it is illegal in those jurisdictions to grow cannabis indoors or outdoors. Fresno County’s Selma is taking a different approach to the issue: It allows home-grows, but charges the state’s highest cost for a permit to do so, $1,420 for those six plants.
Many people seem to think it’s a free-for-all when it comes to cannabis in California now that recreational marijuana is legal. But as the numbers above show, that’s far from the case. And even our numbers may paint an overly enthusiastic picture.
A couple dozen cities — places such as Moreno Valley and Davis — have passed rules to allow marijuana businesses, but have yet to fully develop the regulations, or issue permits, to let those businesses start. And only once those regulations are in place can a marijuana business apply for the needed state license.
That’s why even though 61 cities and nine counties have ordinances on the books that allow recreational marijuana stores, as of April 6, 2018, the state Bureau of Cannabis Control had licensed recreational shops in only 34 cities and five unincorporated county areas of California.
A couple dozen cities are leading the pack on our marijuana-friendliness scale, meaning they’re the most lenient cities in the state when it comes to cannabis policy. Riverside County has by far the highest number of permissive cities, with six that score above 96 points on our scale. A few other counties have two 96-point cities each, including Los Angeles and Sonoma. Oakland is the only Bay Area city that surpasses the 96-point threshold, although San Jose is just under, with 93 points.
To get above 96 points, cities and counties must allow every type of marijuana business licensed by the state. That means permitting medical and recreational licenses for cannabis sales, cultivation, manufacturing, distribution and testing. They would also have to allow their residents to grow marijuana at home, both indoors and outdoors.
More than five dozen cities score a zero on our scale of cannabis friendliness — including, in the Bay Area, Fremont, Hercules, Colma and Campbell.
Many areas are far less hospitable: Every city in the tiny counties of Madera and Sutter have passed the toughest rules possible.
Perhaps the biggest surprise is in Humboldt County, which is famous for cannabis production. Despite the region’s reputation as a cannabis hotbed, and despite having a couple cities where cannabis ordinances are lenient, four of the seven cities in Humboldt County earn zero points on our scale. Of course, Humboldt County continues to have a thriving black market, with which legal sales might compete.
To get a zero score on our scale, a city has to ban all marijuana businesses, block residents from growing marijuana for personal use outdoors and require them to get a permit to grow it inside their homes.
In some cities and counties, cannabis industry rules contrast sharply with how residents there voted on Prop. 64.
Imperial County again stands out. Only 45 percent of unincorporated county residents there voted in favor of legalizing recreational marijuana. But the Imperial County Board of Supervisors voted in November to welcome every type of cannabis business, giving the area a score of 95.9 on our scale of permissiveness.
Oakdale and Riverbank, in Stanislaus County, are the only two cities in the state that welcome every type of recreational marijuana business even though a majority of residents in both cities voted against Prop. 64.
In other places, local policies are very much in line with voter wishes.
West Hollywood and Berkeley voters, for example, tied with a high of 83 percent of residents approving Prop. 64. Both cities also have liberal cannabis policies, just missing the leader board for most permissive cities in the state because they block commercial cultivation and other behind-the-scenes businesses.
Kingsburg, in Fresno County, also has policies that align with election numbers. Residents of the farming town opposed Prop. 64 more than anywhere else in California, with only 35 percent favoring marijuana legalization. And city council members have taken a similar stance, with policies that earn Kingsburg 0.5 out of 100 points on our scale of marijuana friendliness.
THIS CAN BE YOURS FOR A MERE PITTANCE, THINK ABOUT IT…
For those of you out of the area who found the means to escape from the Golden Sanctuary State of California and its crazy home prices, here’s a fixer-upper in Willow Glen you can pick up for a mere pittance. Maybe even a song. Think of it as a fire sale. Click HERE to watch the news report. (1:55)
And here’s a corresponding article with more details if you are interested…
For $800,000, Fire-Ravaged House Could Become Yours
By Marisa Kendall <email@example.com>
Mercury News — April 133, 2018
SAN JOSE — What can $800,000 get you in the Bay Area’s red-hot housing market?
In San Jose’s desirable Willow Glen neighborhood, that sum will land you a tiny, burned-out shell of a home. Unless, of course, the property follows the current trend by selling for over the listing price.
The owner of the 1,066 square-foot home on Bird Avenue, which was all but destroyed in a fire two years ago, listed the property for sale at midnight Thursday for $799,000. For some, the price tag has come to symbolize the runaway property values that are making it increasingly difficult for Silicon Valley renters and new arrivals to afford a home here. But local real estate agents say in this market, there’s nothing extraordinary about the price.
“It’s a great location,” said Holly Barr of the Sereno Group, the realtor who is selling the property. “It’s an easy commute. There’s a great downtown, walkability, people with kids and their dogs and tree-lined streets. It’s where people want to be.” Several houses on that street have sold for $1.6 million, and Zillow estimates the home’s worth as more than $1 million. The home is about a mile from the area where Google plans to build a new campus.
“As crazy as it sounds, I’m not surprised by it,” realtor John Espinosa of Morgan Hill- based Heritage Realty Group said of the price tag. “It’s probably what I would do as well if I was listing that property.”
Barr posted a photo of the burned house and its price on the Willow Glen Charm Facebook page Monday night, sparking a quick response from shocked observers. The post has been shared nearly 1,000 times, and Barr says about 20 people have contacted her so far to express interest in the property. She called the response “overwhelming.”
The value is in the 5,850-square-foot lot, Barr said, where the buyer could tear down the damaged building and build his or her dream house.
A look back in time using Google Street View, which shows the home before it caught fire, reveals its potential. The image shows a small cottage shaded by trees and bordered by a white picket fence.
This fire-damaged home on Bird Avenue in San Jose landed on the market Thursday for $799,000.
This fire-damaged home on Bird Avenue in San
Jose landed on the market Thursday for $799,000.
Despite the ruined condition of the house, the property presents a great opportunity, Espinosa said. A developer likely can save money by taking advantage of existing sewer, water and power hookups to the burned house, he said.
Rick Smith, former president of the Santa Clara County Association of Realtors, agrees.
“It’s not an issue of if it will sell,” he said, “it’s a matter of how much over the asking price.”
A developer might spend $500,000 building a new house on that lot, plus an extra $15,000 or $20,000 demolishing the old house and hauling away the pieces, Smith said. If the rebuilt house sells for $1.6 million, that’s about a $300,000 profit.
Smith recently listed a similar uninhabitable property in San Francisco for $399,000 — the plumbing didn’t work, and visitors risked plunging through the floor if they stepped on a certain spot in the bathroom. That home received 23 all-cash offers, and ultimately sold for $565,000, Smith said.
The Bird Avenue home likely will see cash offers as well, he said, because many lenders won’t put money up for such severely damaged homes.
But just because paying $800,000 or more for the remains of a home has become the new normal in Silicon Valley, doesn’t mean it’s not a jaw-dropping sum elsewhere, Espinosa said. “Anybody who is coming from another state and sees what we here in the Bay Area are paying for homes,” he said, “it’s just insane.”
AS A LONGTIME FREMONT RESIDENT I SAY “THANK GOD FOR PROP 13″…
When it comes to Bay Area home prices, this bargain is located exactly one mile from my Fremont digs and its $1200/year property tax bill…
Uninhabitable? So What! We’ll Give You $1.23M
—Decrepit home in Fremont described as ‘beyond fixer’ snatched up in days—
By Marisa Kendall <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Mercury News — April 17, 2018
FREMONT — “Home is condemned. Enter at your own risk.”
Those aren’t words you generally see on a listing for a million-dollar home. But they failed to deter buyers interested in one property in Fremont’s pricey Mission San Jose neighborhood.
The decrepit three-bedroom, two-bath house on Bruce Drive sold late last month for $1.23 million, even though it’s uninhabitable. That seven-figure price tag, for a house described in its Redfin listing as “beyond fixer,” further highlights the intensity of the housing shortage inflating Bay Area home prices.
Click HERE to see the listing.
Despite the home’s condition, buyers lined up, said listing agent Larry Gallegos of Better
Home and Gardens, Reliance Partners. “It was nonstop,” he said. “Nonstop phone calls and emails from the day I put it on the market until the day it went pending. Nonstop from morning ’till night.”
Gallegos received at least three all-cash offers for the home, which was on the market for about a week. He requested cash offers, he said, because lenders typically won’t put up funds for a house in such poor condition.
The house ended up selling for about a quarter-million dollars over its asking price.
Gallegos described the home, which had sat vacant for years, as “totally unlivable.” Water came in through holes in the roof, and mildew covered the ceilings, he said. But that didn’t matter to prospective buyers, who hoped to tear down the house and build their dream home on the roughly 9,400 square-foot lot.
“They didn’t buy the house,” Gallegos said. “They bought the dirt.”
Watching a condemned home sell for more than $1 million is the new Bay Area normal, said Nancie Allen, president-elect of the Bay East Association of Realtors.
“If you’re not used to seeing this all the time, then it’s shocking to you,” she said. “But this is not shocking to me.”
Last week the owner of a burned-out house in San Jose’s Willow Glen neighborhood listed the property for $800,000. Holly Barr, the realtor selling that house, said the price is standard for the desirable location.
Similarly, the Mission San Jose neighborhood, where the condemned house sold last month, has long been one of Fremont’s priciest, partly because of its high-quality schools, Allen said.
But 64-year-old Gallegos, who has lived in Fremont most of his life, remembers when it was an affordable city.
“My father’s first house in Fremont cost $13,000,” he said. “Times have changed.”
The median sales price for a single-family home in Fremont was nearly $1.3 million last month, according to the Bay East Association of Realtors. And prices have been climbing all over the Bay Area.
The median value of a home in San Jose is $1.1 million, according to Zillow.
It’s $1.3 million in San Francisco, and $755,600 in Oakland.
“Because there’s such low inventory on the market,” Allen said, “people are getting into whatever they can.”
TIM COOK’S RESPONSE TO GUN CONTROL ADVOCATES
Activists Tell Apple To Drop NRATV, Apple CEO Tells Them To Suck It
Anti-gun activists are pressuring Apple to
dump NRATV, and Tim Cook has responded.
By Andrew Blake — Blue Lives Matter
Cupertino, CA – Amid calls to remove the National Rifle Association’s channel from Apple TV, Apple CEO Tim Cook has responded that it won’t be happening.
“Democracy without discourse is not a democracy,” Tim Cook said, the San Francisco Chronicle reported.
Cook said he didn’t like the NRA’s “tactics” and “positions” and said that some of the things the NRA has said were “unbelievably distasteful.”
But Cook said it was important to have the NRA’s point of view on the Apple streaming service.
He added that if NRATV went down the path of “hate speech,” Apple would cut the NRA off, the San Francisco Chronicle reported. No examples of what hate speech would include were offered.
Gun control advocates have called for the boycott of companies that stream NRATV, which is the gun rights organization’s free TV channel.
In February, the group Moms Demand Action For Gun Sense In America launched a campaign to get companies to dump NRATV.
Moms Demand Action sent letters to the leaders of Apple, Amazon, Google and Roku to stop including the NRA’s TV channel on their streaming platforms.
“NRATV is home to the NRA’s most dangerous and violence-inciting propaganda,” said Shannon Watts, founder of Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America, on the organization’s website. “It’s time for tech leaders to acknowledge their role in helping the NRA spread this dangerous content and cut it out.”
A Change.org petition was started to remove NRATV from Apple two months ago. It has 17,900 signatures as of April 16.
NRATV can also be streamed on Amazon, Roku, SiriusXM, iHeartRadio, YouTube, iTunes and Google Chromecast. NRATV broadcasts 24 hours a day.
Apple provides an app in its App Store so people can download it and stream the content, Cook said.
Click HERE to review the comments made by the readers of this article.
CATCHING UP ON THE YEAR YOU WERE BORN
If you didn’t have the opportunity to read any newspapers or listen to the radio (or TV if it existed) during your first year of life and you want to catch up on what you missed, we have the solution. All you have to do is find the year you were born in the list below and click on it. If you were born after 1980, just replace the year at the end of the URL and insert your birth year. This works up through the year 2014.
STORIES OF THE WEEK
A Senior’s Version of Facebook
Received from Larry Otter
For those of my generation who do not and cannot comprehend why Facebook exists: I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same principles. Therefore, every day I walk down the street and tell passers by what I have eaten, how I feel at the moment, what I have done the night before, what I will do later and with whom. I give them pictures of my family, my dog, and of me taking things apart in the garage, watering the lawn, standing in front of landmarks, driving round town, having lunch, and doing what anybody and everybody does everyday. I also listen to their conversations, give them the “thumbs up” and tell them I like them. And it works just like Facebook. I already have four people following me: two police officers, a private investigator, and a psychiatrist.
• • • • •
At the Front Desk
Received from Dirk Parsons
A hotel guest calls the front desk and the clerk answers, “May I help you?”
A woman says, “Yes, I’m in room 858. You need to send someone to my room immediately. I’m having an argument with my husband and he says he’s going to jump out the window.”
The desk clerk says, “I’m sorry, ma’am, but that’s a personal issue.”
The woman replies, “Listen, I can’t get the window open, and that’s a maintenance issue.”
• • • • •
What’s in the bag?
From the Archives
For all of you who are married, were married, wish you were married, or wish you weren’t married, this is something to think about the next time you see a bottle of wine:
Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.
As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.
With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.
Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally.
“What in bag?” asked the old woman.
Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, “It’s a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband.”
The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said: “Good trade.”
• • • • •
Mama says “Use your elbow”…
From the Archives
An Italian grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson, who is coming to visit with his wife.
“You comma to de front door of the apartmenta. I am inna apartmenta 301. There issa bigga panel at the front door. With you elbow, pusha button 301. I will buzza you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with you elbow, pusha 3. When you get out, I’mma on the left. With you elbow, hit my doorbell.”
“Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?”
“What…you coming empty handed?”
THE BEST OF THE LATE NITE JOKES
April 5 — 16
April 10: Sources say the FBI raided Michael Cohen’s office to gather information on all of the women the President had affairs with. The raid is currently entering its 27th hour.
Experts say the majority of Facebook users had their data harvested from taking online quizzes. So, it’s worse than we thought – now, Russia also knows how stupid we are.
Sen. Lindsey Graham asked Mark Zuckerberg if there was anything else like Facebook, and Zuckerberg said, “No.” And at that exact moment, Tom from MySpace took his own life.
A motorcycle gang in Canada is attacking businesses they don’t like by giving them mass one-star reviews online. They’re the fearsome badass biker gang known as “Yelp’s Angels.”
April 11: House Speaker Paul Ryan said he is not seeking re-election because he wants to spend more time with his kids. Ryan said, “As a dad, there comes a time when you want to be there to take away their healthcare IN PERSON.”
Mark Zuckerberg completed day two of his congressional testimony about security breaches. Things got a little tense when Zuckerberg referred to each senator by their PIN number.
It was reported that President Trump is doing nothing right now but angrily fuming, eating, and watching TV. In other words, it sounds like Trump is turning into a Trump voter.
Former House Speaker John Boehner has joined the board of a marijuana company and today he said his “thinking on cannabis has evolved.” That can only mean really one thing: His grandson showed him how to use a bong.
While he was testifying yesterday, Facebook stock went up and Mark Zuckerberg, just during his testimony, made $3 billion. When he heard that, Tom from MySpace also offered to testify.
DEA officials have seized 500 pounds of meth concealed inside Disney figurines, which explains why Goofy is missing all but two teeth.
April 12: The city of Anchorage, Alaska, has voted down a bathroom bill that discriminates against transgendered people. Residents said, “You know, it’s so cold here in Alaska we can’t tell what genitals you have anyway.”
The Navy is calling for new weapons, so they can fight much more effectively against Russia. The No. 1 weapon they’re asking for is “a different president.”
The National Enquirer paid $30,000 for a story about President Trump having a love child but then buried the story. The Enquirer said, “We did it to protect the child from finding out his father is Donald Trump.”
It’s come out that the National Enquirer paid President Trump’s doorman $30,000 so they could kill a story about Trump. Isn’t that shocking? A Trump employee got paid.
Starbucks is opening its first store in Uruguay. The Starbucks was supposed to open in Uganda, but a barista signed the paperwork.
One of the world’s top Donkey Kong players has been stripped of his records for cheating. He was going to be sentenced to life, but turns out he doesn’t have one.
April 16: Meghan Markle’s nephew is creating a strain of marijuana called the “Markle Sparkle.” The marijuana is so strong it renders you as useless as a member of the royal family.
James Comey says he believes that the Russians may have damaging information on President Trump. For example, the Russians claim to have video footage of everything Trump has ever said on television.
It has come out today that President Trump’s lawyer Michael Cohen also represents Fox News host Sean Hannity. Apparently, Cohen would pay women $130,000 to watch Hannity’s show.
Scientists are predicting that in a few years we’ll be able to smell the TV shows we watch. This is good news for every single show except “Dog the Bounty Hunter.”
April 12: Flu season is behind us, allergy season is here. It’s nice to see people in L.A. allergic to something other than gluten for a change.
This was another difficult day for President Trump. Details from a forthcoming book written by former FBI Director Jim Comey came out today, and Comey said, among other things, Trump is “untethered from the truth.” He says chief of staff John Kelly offered to quit when Trump fired Comey, he was so disgusted. He said he believes the president wears tanning goggles. That I would like to see, Trump on the roof of the White House, a little mask over his eyes like a raccoon, nibbling on chicken nuggets in a Speedo.
Trump had to do some tap dancing today after repeatedly criticizing the previous administration for tipping our enemies off to what are we going to do before we do it. Trump informed Russia we would be firing missiles on Syria . . . which is telling enemies what we’re going to do before we do it. Today he tried to correct the perception. He tweeted, “Never said when an attack on Syria would take place. Could be very soon. Or not so soon at all.” Have you ever played hide-and-seek with a 4-year-old? I do it a lot. She’s like, “I’m going to go hide under the bed, you come find me.” That’s basically what he does.
But see, this is the genius of Donald Trump. How can he let our enemies know what he’s doing when even he doesn’t know what he’s doing?
Meanwhile, his White House press secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, was asked about this today. She said all options are on the table. Then she pretended to be a table. Until everyone went away.
I hope Trump didn’t see this on TV. He probably didn’t because this was CNN.
But an anonymous Republican in Congress, so angry with the president — he or she, we don’t know — asked to chat with a conservative radio host, a guy named Erick Erickson. They met at a Safeway store. The supermarket. To avoid being seen by anyone on Capitol Hill. I guess they don’t eat groceries.
April 10: Yesterday the FBI raided the office of Trump’s lawyer, Michael Cohen. You know it’s bad when you call your lawyer and your lawyer’s like, “You’ve got to speak to my lawyer.”
The raid happened after the FBI got a search warrant. Trump was surprised to learn that you need permission before you can just start grabbing stuff.
It looks like Michael Cohen is in some serious trouble here. In fact, Cohen is so screwed that today he paid himself $130,000.
Today Mark Zuckerberg testified in Congress about Facebook’s data leak. His opening statement was six pages long. Or as your aunt calls that, one Facebook post.
April 11: House Speaker Paul Ryan announced that he is retiring from Congress. He said he wants to spend more time with his children at home and less time with the child in the White House.
Paul Ryan is retiring. He said that after 20 years in Congress, it’s time to let someone else get nothing done.
Paul Ryan made his decision during Congress’s last recess. When he heard that, President Trump was like, “Wait, they get recess?”
On Twitter this morning, Trump threatened Russia with missiles that are “nice and smart.” And Americans were like, “Can we make one of those missiles president?”
A senator told Mark Zuckerberg that Facebook’s user agreement sucks. Even Mark Zuckerberg was like, “Wait, you actually read Facebook’s user agreement?”
A 112-year-old man in Japan was just named the world’s oldest man. He’s very happy. He said he’ll remember this moment for the rest of this week.
April 12: President Trump was supposed to go to South America today, but he canceled, and Mike Pence went instead. For South America, it was like ordering a Jägerbomb, then getting a Shirley temple.
Even though the FBI raided his office, Trump’s lawyer said that he would rather jump out of a building than turn on Trump. When Melania heard the words “turn on” and “Trump,” she said that she was going to jump out of the building.
Investigators are looking into whether the National Enquirer protected Trump by hiding negative stories about him. It might not be true because I read about it in the National Enquirer, so I don’t know.
The president has been very busy. This morning he tweeted that an attack on Syria could happen “very soon or not so soon at all.” When asked if he’s using a Magic 8-Ball, Trump said, “Ask again later.”
Most Americans said they still like Facebook, but they don’t trust it. So basically, people feel the same way about Facebook as they do about the McRib.
A former Playboy bunny just became the oldest lingerie model at 83 years old. When asked why she went back to work, she said, “My Trump hush money ran out.”
April 16: Robert De Niro is on the show. His friends call him Bob, so backstage I said, “Hi, Bob!” And he said, “It’s Mr. De Niro.”
Former FBI Director James Comey was interviewed on ABC last night, and he said that Trump often changes his story and contradicts himself. In response, Trump said, “Yes, I don’t.”
Comey is promoting his new book “A Higher Loyalty.” Trump is furious about it because it insults his leadership, and because it forced him to read a book.
Congratulations to John Stamos and his wife, who had a baby boy this weekend! And somehow the baby has already aged more than John Stamos.
April 10: The FBI yesterday raided the offices of President Trump’s personal attorney, Michael Cohen, here at Rockefeller center. And while they were there, arrested a couple ladies for public intoxication.
According to ABC news, President Trump is less inclined to sit for an interview with special counsel Robert Mueller after the FBI raided his personal attorney’s office. I don’t know, man, I have a feeling that this was instead of that. I think they looked at you and they looked at your lawyer’s office and they said, “Which one of these is going to give us a straight answer?”
Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg testified before a joint Senate commerce and judiciary committee today in front of a bunch of people whose password is definitely, “Password.” “In this book, how many pages does it have? I mean, it must be — if we all have it, there must be so many pages.”
Homeland Security adviser Tom Bossert resigned today. Wow, at this rate, Trump’s going to run out of people who will want to work in the White House and he’s going to have to hire Hillary Clinton himself.
April 11: House Speaker Paul Ryan announced today he will not seek re-election to spend more time with his family. So now his family are the ones asking for thoughts and prayers.
According to reports, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg sat on a four-inch-thick cushion to boost his height during his Senate testimony yesterday. Zuckerberg was like, “Oh, no, that’s my wallet.”
Mark Zuckerberg sat on a four-inch-thick cushion during his Senate testimony yesterday. Jeff Sessions was like, “There was a cushion? I find it very, very inappropriate that only some people are getting cushions.”
The White House said today that deputy national security adviser Nadia Schadlow is resigning. This is how bad it’s getting in the Trump administration; the first time you even hear somebody’s name is when they resign. “So long, Nadia. We’ll miss your characteristics that you probably have.”
President Trump today criticized special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation saying there is “no collusion or obstruction other than I fight back.” Hold on, no obstruction other than I fight back? Fighting back against an investigation is obstruction. That’s like saying no infidelity other than I sleep with porn stars. Only Trump would try to obstruct justice and confess to it in the same tweet.
President Trump tweeted today: “We need all nations to work together, stop the arms race?” Why are you asking us? You’re the president. What are you going to tweet next? “Feeling tired, go to bed now?”
House Speaker Paul Ryan announced today that he will not seek re-election. I believe his exact words [shows photo of rat swimming away from sinking ship] were, “Squeak, squeak, squeak.”
April 12: House Speaker Paul Ryan said yesterday that he doesn’t plan on running for president after he retires from Congress next year. Ryan will instead return to the haunted Sears Catalogue that spawned him [shows picture of Ryan modeling sportswear].
President Trump had dinner with Republican congressional leaders last night. “Are you gonna finish that?” they asked about his presidency.
A woman was recently arrested at New York’s Kennedy Airport for attempting to smuggle $110,000-worth of cocaine, hidden inside bottles of Bailey’s Irish Cream. Even worse – Bailey’s Irish Cream.
A new report did not name New York City as one of the 25 best places to live in the country. “I’m shocked!” said an adult New Yorker with six roommates.
H&M is reportedly struggling to deal with over $4 billion in unsold merchandise. “Just throw it on the floor,” said TJ Maxx.
April 10: Yesterday, the FBI raided the office of Donald Trump’s lawyer, looking for evidence of hush money paid to Stormy Daniels and other women. President Trump responded on Twitter, declaring, “Attorney-client privilege is dead!” For those of you who don’t know, “Attorney-client privilege” is when guilty people are able to talk freely to their lawyers about how incredibly guilty they are.
You have to give it to Trump, though. This is impressive. Do you know how hard it is to tweet and shred documents at the same time?
The workout company CrossFit is now getting into the meal delivery business. But their meal kit is getting mixed reviews because, well, it isn’t really a meal, it’s nothing but ten pounds of raw meat.
And you thought your dog chased the mailman before. It’s just giant slabs of meat all packed together. Oh, wait, that’s a CrossFit class, sorry.
April 11: The biggest story today was that the Speaker of the House, Paul Ryan, announced this morning that he will retire at the end of the year to spend more time with his family, which is shocking to hear. Not that he is stepping down, but that someone is leaving Washington and Trump didn’t fire them.
By leaving a full-time job with benefits, Paul Ryan will finally achieve one of his dreams — depriving an American family of their health insurance.
Speaking of speakers, the man who Paul Ryan replaced as speaker of the House, Republican John Boehner, has announced he’s joining the advisory board of one of the country’s largest legal marijuana companies. Now here is the thing. For his entire congressional career, Boehner said that he was strongly opposed to legalizing marijuana. But now he says that’s all bong water under the bridge.
In a tweet Boehner said, “My thinking on cannabis has evolved.” When asked when his thinking cannabis had evolved, Boehner said, “About three edibles ago. I like those little gummies. They really took the edge off.”
April 16: Last night was the ABC News interview with former FBI Director James Comey where he promoted his new book. But before the interview, Trump got on Twitter yesterday morning and called Comey a liar and attacked his reputation. So, congratulations to Donald Trump for sending Comey’s book straight to No. 1.
Samsung has just launched a new phone marketed to students to avoid distraction and focus on studying. The phone deliberately has no ability to connect to the internet. Yeah, they’ve developed this. This is something they’ve “developed.” So, a flip phone. It’s a flip phone that can’t even flip.
I guess this could be a good idea if you don’t want to be distracted. And if you want to make extra sure you can’t connect to the internet, sign up for T-Mobile.
Here in Los Angeles, the police department recently confiscated $700,000 of counterfeit makeup that was later determined — and we’re not joking here — to contain human feces. People suspected there might be feces in the makeup when they were like, “It says blue eye shadow, but it keeps making my eyes pink.”
April 11; There is so much meat on the news bone today that I don’t know where to start carving. So, let’s just unhinge our jaw and swallow this cow from the head down. When you’re talking about Washington, the head is Donald Trump.
Ever since the FBI raided his lawyer Michael Cohen’s offices, the walls have been closing in on the president, and he’s not happy. One source said, “We’re at a different level now. He’s losing his (bleep).” And another just said, “Jesus take the wheel.” Buddy, I hate to tell ya, Jesus flung the door open a few miles back and then tucked and rolled into a ditch. Those footprints in the sand are running straight into the ocean screaming.
And Donald Trump is ready to take drastic action against everyone investigating him, no matter who. One Trump friend told Vanity Fair, “I could see him having a total meltdown and saying, ‘(bleep) it, I’m firing all of them.’ This is very dry tinder. If someone strikes a match to it, you could see it catching fire.” “Dry Tinder,” by the way, is how Mike Pence met his wife.
April 12: It’s being reported that a former doorman at a Trump building in New York was paid $30,000 to keep quiet about a rumor that Trump fathered an illegitimate child with his housekeeper in the 1980s. A secret illegitimate child. I don’t believe it. Finally, something Trump didn’t want to put his name on.
It’s beginning to sound like Donald Trump spent most of the last 30 years trying to make America pregnant again.
Housing prices are so high in the San Francisco Bay Area right now that a small one-story burned-out home is selling for — brace yourself — $800,000. It comes with two-and-a-half baths and two-and-a-half walls. The house is loaded with fun features like a fire pit out back, a fire pit in the kitchen, a fire pit in the living room, and all the bedrooms got fire pits. Why not save $800,000 and just move in now? No one is going to stop you, there are no doors.
Scientists have just added a new animal to the endangered species list. It’s a green-haired Australian turtle that breathes through its genitals. It breathes through its genitals. The reason it’s endangered is because in an emergency, nobody wants to give it CPR.
WEEKLY SNOPES URBAN LEGEND UPDATE
Click HERE for what’s new.
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Recognize this guy? You should. He is former Milwaukee Co. Sheriff David Clarke, and he is featured in this Prager University video titled “Cops Are the Good Guys.” (Personal note to the frequent Mail Call contributor who uses a nom de plume and recently dissed PragerU: Please don’t try to spin THIS video into something it’s not. I don’t want to have to deal with any hate mail.) (5:21)
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How effective is the border wall in San Diego? This clip received from Lumpy will shed some light on the issue if you can spare a couple of minutes. It is contrary to what the pro-immigration/anti-border wall people would have YOU believe. Perhaps this is one of the reasons why the Supes of San Diego Co. aren’t going along with Gov. Moonbeam’s sanctuary state policy. (4:39)
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Amazon’s Echo (Alexa) and all of its variations are starting to show up everywhere, even in cars. In this clip Ellen of daytime TV fame previews the latest version that will come with new Toyotas. It’s almost the same as having your wife ride with you. Have a LOOK. (1:13)
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There’s no other way to describe this elderly Chinese grandfather and his two granddaughters dancing to “Stayin’ Alive” than to say it is almost “too cute.” Click HERE and watch this minute-long clip received from Alice Murphy. (0:57)
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Here are two lasses who are about to embark on a catapult thrill ride. Once it departs, check out the set of lungs on the gal on the right while her friend laughs so hard that she has trouble catching her BREATH. (By “lungs” I’m referring to her capacity to repeatedly scream.) (1:54)
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You don’t have to replay this humorous dirt bike clip sent in by Comrade Kosovilka, it REPEATS twice on its own. (0:31)
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Sometimes rescues don’t go as planned and the rescuer runs of risk of getting injured. Such was the case when Lisa and JoAnn from Hope for Paws tried to rescue THIS Shar-Pei that was living next to some railroad tracks in L.A. (6:09)
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Stamina is sometimes needed to chase down a homeless dog in a huge field if it doesn’t want to be rescued. Eldad’s training in the Israeli Army gave him the ability to carry on and capture THIS pooch that Lisa named Alfie. (3:45).
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When a Costa Rica Dog Rescue organization known as “Bark N’ Bitches” invited Hope for Paws to join them, Eldad and Lisa accepted and were soon assisting on several rescue missions while taking in the local scenery that INCLUDED some native wildlife. (17:12)
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For those of you who have Amazon Prime and have seen the first three seasons of “Bosch,” you will be pleased to know that Amazon has posted Season Four. The series about an LAPD detective is based on Michael Connelly’s book series of the same name. I highly recommend it, whether you have read any of Connelly’s books or not. If you have read Connelly’s police novels, you are sure to enjoy watching the series on Amazon Prime.
If you enjoy reading realistic and gritty police novels, you should give Connelly’s books about Bosch a shot if you are unfamiliar with the series. And if you decide to jump in, we suggest you start with the first title and read them in sequence as each title builds on the next. Click HERE for the sequence.
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Anyone interested in WW II — especially the battle in the Ardennes a/k/a the Battle of the Bulge — should find this video of interest. Much of the vintage film footage and still photos are of GERMAN origin. (14:22)
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What we have here is a baseball sitting atop a beer bottle that is accompanied by two other beer bottles, right? Now WATCH. (1:36)
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Meet Zach Holmes. He’s living proof that they live among us. And what’s even scarier, some of THEM vote. (1:00)
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Dirk Parsons thought those of you who have lost someone close to you in the recent past might want to listen to THIS selection from soon-to-be 85-year-old Willie Nelson’s latest album. The song is titled “Something You Get Through.” (3:55)
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This week’s closer:
When God Made Cops…
When the Lord was creating cops, he was into his sixth day of overtime when an angel appeared and said, “You’re doing a lot of fiddling around on this one.”
The Lord replied, “Have you read the specs on this order? A peace officer has to be able to run five miles through alleys in the dark, scale walls, enter homes the health inspector wouldn’t touch, and not wrinkle his uniform.
“He has to be able to sit in an undercover car all day on a stakeout, cover a homicide scene that night, canvass the neighborhood for witnesses, and testify in court the next day.
“He has to be in top physical condition at all times, running on black coffee and half-eaten meals.
And he has to have six pairs of hands.
The angel shook her head slowly and said, “Six pairs of hands? No way.”
“It’s not the hands that are causing me problems,” said the Lord, “it’s the three pairs of eyes an officer has to have.”
“That’s on the standard model?” asked the angel.
The Lord nodded. “One pair that sees through a bulge in a pocket before he asks, ‘May I see what’s in there, sir?’ Another pair here in the side of his head for his partners’ safety. And another pair of eyes here in front that can look reassuringly at a bleeding victim and say, ‘You’ll be all right ma’am,’ when he knows it isn’t so.”
“Lord,” said the angel, touching his sleeve, “rest and work on this tomorrow.”
“I can’t,” said the Lord, “I already have a model that can talk a 250 pound drunk into a patrol car without incident and feed a family of five on a civil service paycheck.”
The angel circled the model of the peace officer very slowly, “Can it think?” she asked.
“You bet,” said the Lord. “It can tell you the elements of a hundred crimes; recite Miranda warnings in its sleep; detain, investigate, search, and arrest a gang member on the street in less time than it takes five learned judges to debate the legality of the stop…and still it keeps its sense of humor. This officer also has phenomenal personal control. He can deal with crime scenes painted in hell, coax a confession from a child abuser, comfort a murder victim’s family, and then read in the daily paper how law enforcement isn’t sensitive to the rights of criminal suspects.”
Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek of the peace officer. “There’s a leak,” she pronounced. “I told you that you were trying to put too much into this model.”
“That’s not a leak,” said the Lord, “it’s a tear.”
“What’s the tear for?” asked the angel.
“It’s for bottled-up emotions, for fallen comrades, for commitment to that funny piece of cloth called the American flag, for justice.”
“You’re a genius,” said the angel.
The Lord looked somber. “I didn’t put it there,” He said.
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Pic of the Week
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