March 22, 2018
The Farsider is an independent publication that is not affiliated with the San Jose Police Benevolent
Assn. The SJPBA has allowed the Farsider to be included on its website solely for the convenience of
the retired San Jose Police community. The content of this newsletter does not represent or reflect
the views of the San Jose Police Benevolent Association’s Board of Directors or its membership.
This NBC Bay Area story validates the dangerous job you perform every day, trying to stem the tide of crime in San Jose. The rise in crime and increase in calls involving guns is the result of our revolving door criminal justice system; a system that allows violent and repeat offenders back out on our streets to continue their lives of crime.
Proposition 47 and Proposition 57 are in dire need of reform and the SJPOA is working with our law enforcement coalition partners to fix what is clearly broken.
This is why the SJPOA is a strong supporter of the “Reducing Crime and Keeping California Safe Act of 2018.”
This initiative will:
• Reclassify currently “non-violent” crimes, such as: rape of an unconscious person, sex trafficking of a child, and 14 other serious crimes as “violent,” which will prevent the early release of inmates convicted of these crimes.
• Reform the parole system to stop the early release of violent felons, expand parolee oversight, and strengthen penalties for parole violations.
• Reform theft laws to restore accountability for serial thieves and organized theft gangs.
• Expand DNA collection to include those convicted of drug, theft, domestic violence, and other serious crimes to help solve rape, murder, and other violent crimes, and to exonerate those wrongly accused.
Common sense must prevail in California. There are too many victims of crime that can attribute their victim-hood to the failed criminal justice reform efforts such as Proposition 47 and 57.
On Saturday March 24th, the POA and the Department will remember our fallen brother, Officer Michael Johnson #3718, on the anniversary of his death. Although every year we take time to remember our brother officer, your POA has worked to ensure that Michael’s memory and the ultimate sacrifice he made will be forever honored and remembered not only by the members of our Department and Michael’s family, but also by the community.
This coming Saturday, March 24th at 1100 hours we will honor Michael’s memory by placing a memorial plate at the location of his death at 2664 Senter Rd. The memorial plate will be inscribed with his name and a brief description of the circumstances surrounding his death. This plate will serve as a constant reminder of the ultimate sacrifice Officer Johnson made in the protection of the community we serve and his fellow officers.
The dedication is informal and will be fairly short with Michael’s family in attendance. Chief Garcia and our Chaplains will also be in attendance. We would like to invite all members of the department to attend and honor Michael’s passing.
God Bless the memory of Officer Michael Johnson and God Bless each and every one of you. Be Safe!
Paul & Sean
Ed. — See the Emerald Society flyers below for both Michael and Officer John Buck.
THE TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS OF SAN JOSE AND THE SJPD
What’s pertinent about this story from yesterday’s paper as far as the SJPD is concerned are the 3 paragraphs at the bottom.
San Jose Mayor Sam Liccardo Wants $15.5 Million Reserve
By Emily DeRuy <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Mercury News — March 21, 2018
Perhaps taking a cue from Gov. Jerry Brown, who has proposed storing billions of dollars in California’s rainy day fund, Mayor Sam Liccardo wants San Jose to stash away $15.5 million in reserves.
But while California is looking at a surplus, San Jose is staring down a more than $40 million budget shortfall in the next several years and doesn’t, as Councilman Lan Diep pointed out during Tuesday’s City Council meeting, just have the money sitting around.
“We face challenging years ahead,” Liccardo wrote in a recent memo outlining his 2018-19 budget priorities. “More than ever, we need a prudent and strategic approach to spending.”
While the city’s $3.2 billion budget last year prioritized disaster response after the devastating Coyote Creek flooding, the mayor’s $3.5 billion 2018-19 budget proposal emphasizes housing.
Liccardo called on City Manager Dave Sykes to allocate $3 million to one-time funding for homeless initiatives. The money could be used to buy hotels to shelter homeless residents of the city or for safe parking locations for people sleeping in their cars. The mayor also wants the city to spend $150,000 on a pilot program to offer emergency housing for victims of domestic violence. Right now, the city has just 59 emergency beds and nine transitional beds available and more than 2,100 victims were turned away from emergency shelters in 2016.
Liccardo’s memo also calls for $200,000 in one-time funding to boost the city’s Beautify SJ program, which gives grants to different community groups to clean up landscaping and otherwise improve the city’s aesthetic appeal. The grants, Liccardo said, have prompted more residents to volunteer to improve their communities and sparked the creation of several new neighbor hood associations.
Still, the city has a $1.39 billion backlog when it comes to maintaining roads, parks and other infrastructure. And while that figure has declined a bit since last year as the economy has hummed along, Liccardo acknowledged that “In any future downturn, we can expect funding for basic maintenance and replacement to shrivel, and the backlog will balloon.”
With that possibility in mind, Liccardo called on city staff to weigh taking a bond measure to voters in November to cover infrastructure needs and boosting public-private partnerships to eliminate the backlog.
But the city’s fiscal health isn’t entirely bleak. In a separate fiscal forecast, Sykes predicted the city will have a nearly $11million surplus by 2022-23. Pension costs are expected to be lower than previously anticipated and tax revenue from property and businesses is expected to rise, with the cannabis industry providing an extra jolt now that residents 21 and older can legally buy marijuana.
At Tuesday’s City Council meeting, Councilmen Johnny Khamis and Sergio Jimenez also pushed for money to relocate the police academy and training unit now in the South San Jose Police Substation and open the station for public police services.
Liccardo said he wants to see the substation open but called the proposal premature, saying he wants to focus on increasing police staffing levels first and pointing out that the city hasn’t yet secured a new location for the academy.
Sykes will use Liccardo’s memo, which the council endorsed Tuesday, to draft a budget for the 2018-19 fiscal year that will be published in May and voted on in June.
For what it’s worth — and it ain’t much — our pension system was mentioned in this letter to the editor that appeared in yesterday’s paper…
Pension crisis hardly a brave new world
Letter to the Editor
Mercury News — March 21, 2018
Surprise! In addressing its massive unfunded liabilities, CalPERS is requiring that Santa Cruz pay more of the true costs of pensions it has promised its employees.
Some call this “a brave new world of public finance,” but Citizens for Fiscal Responsibility has warned of this inevitability for years. One need look no further than San Jose’s struggles with the issue. Surrounding municipalities collectively ignored this proverbial canary in the coal mine while happily hiring officers fleeing San Jose’s demoralized police force.
San Jose’s General Fund pension payments essentially quadrupled from $73 million between fiscal 2001 and 2012. The city cut services with devastating consequences. For example, budgeted officers dropped from 1395 to 1087 between fiscal 2009 and 2012; response times increased, as did crime. Residents of surrounding cities can expect this or worse.
This is neither a new nor brave world. It is the world of fiscal responsibility. Welcome!
Pat Waite, President,
Citizens for Fiscal Responsibility, San Jose
Sorry to hear about John Kregel. I had not realized that he had a stroke. Get well John.
Your old partner,
Bob Tenbrink #1468 <email@example.com>
I’m sure that Bob’s sentiments echo those of all of John’s friends and former coworkers.
• • • • •
Middle Ground speaks again and is followed by some comments by other readers. It needs to be noted that I mistyped his email address in last week’s Farsider by omitting the @ sign in his email address, which would be the reason any emails sent to him by Farsider readers never got through. His corrected address is at the bottom of this letter…
Just a quick follow-up on your response to my response in the Farsider.
Lat week you wrote:
“Second, California is chock full of liberal voters who tend to sympathize with ‘perceived’ minorities like Latinos, even though they now outnumber Anglos and all other races. And while it’s difficult to quantify as to how Asians and (East) Indians generally vote, my gut feeling is that they tend to vote for candidates on the Left.”
Of course you are correct about Calif. being chock full of liberals which constitutes the vast majority of people who have chosen to live here and represent the largest block of voters in the state. Democrats dominate in the state’s most populace regions while conservatives strongholds are mostly in the central valley area (agriculture/ranching region) and a few locations in southern Calif.
Here are the most conservative spots in California.
During our lifetimes we have witnessed the tremendous growth in our state’s population and the moving further away from conservative ideology.
Below is a chart showing how in the 1970s and 1980s Calif. voters in each presidential election went Republican. Then in 1992 there was a major reversal from Republican to Democrat. Of significant note is the fact that the percentage of voters going for a Democratic presidential candidate has steadily increased in all but one election cycle (and that was just a 0.7% drop that then reversed itself in the next election).
Membership in the Republican party in Calif. has been on a continuous slide since that point in time. The number of Independent voters has also increased, causing a decrease in the percentage of both Republican and Democratic party registrations. But there are certainly more left-leaning Independents than right leaning Independents as these voting results demonstrate.
As of February 2017, California’s 19.4 million registered voters constituted 77.9% of eligible adults, a slight increase from the registration rate in 2013 (75.7%), which was the year preceding the last midterm election. The share of registered voters who are Democrats (44.8%) is up slightly from 2013 (43.9%), while the share of Republicans (25.9%) has declined since 2013 (28.9%) by 3 percent. At the same time, the share of voters, like myself, who changed party affiliation and now identify as an Independent has been increasing; it’s now at 24.5%, up from 20.9% in 2013, a 3.6% increase. As to those adults who are considered to be the ones most likely to cast a vote, 46% are Democrats, 29% are Republicans, and 21% are Independents.
There has been a fair number of people choosing to leave the state due to their political convictions being in conflict with the majority of those who live here. So for anyone who has decided to continue to stay in the Bay Area and not either move to a more conservative state, or at least relocate to those areas of Calif. where conservatives are still in the majority, they certainly have every right to self-identify as a member of a shrinking minority.
The Republican Party has been steadily changing its orthodoxy and ideology stances for many of its former principles and platform plank stances.
Over that last 10 years party moderates have been labelled RINOs (Republicans in name only), and have been openly denounced and attacked by the party’s far-right members. As we are witnessing in this year’s mid-terms, several of a dwindling number of moderate congressional party members have decided not to run again because of this schism. Trump’s influence is now so pervasive, many political analysts have pointed out that the Republican Party we knew even 10 years ago has undergone major and significant changes. While the party may have shaped Trump’s views on a few issues, for the most part it’s been Trump who has reshaped the party to a much greater extent. Several have labelled the outcome for the former Republican Party as having now become, “The Party of Trump.”
Here is a lengthy, but very interesting article from last month’s far right-biased Weekly Standard on this situation.
Anyway, as my very Christian neighbor told me this morning, keep smiling and don’t let anyone steal your personal joy and happiness.
Middle Ground <firstname.lastname@example.org>
• • • • •
Dave Walker was among a handful of readers who took issue with a statement that Middle Ground included in his letter in last week’s Mail Call column regarding immigration, to wit: “The illegal Hispanics that are already in California and those that will enter the state in the coming years won’t be able to vote or hold government office unless Congress passes a law that grants them immunity and the right to become citizens.” That is not (or is no longer true) according to this article from the Sacramento Bee…
Undocumented Immigrant Appointed to State Post in California
The California Senate, led by Kevin de Leon, on Wednesday
appointed an undocumented immigrant to advise the
California Student Aid Commission, the first time an
undocumented immigrant has been named to a state post.
The Senate Rules Committee on Wednesday appointed the first undocumented resident to a statewide post, according to Senate President pro Tem Kevin de León’s office.
Lizbeth Mateo, a 33-year-old attorney and immigrant rights activist, will serve on the California Student Opportunity and Access Program Project Grant Advisory Committee. The committee advises the California Student Aid Commission on efforts to increase college access for California students from low-income or underserved communities.
“While Donald Trump fixates on walls, California will continue to concentrate on opportunities,” de León said in a news release. “Ms. Mateo is a courageous, determined and intelligent young woman who at great personal risk has dedicated herself to fight for those seeking their rightful place in this country.”
In a statement, Mateo said she welcomed the opportunity. “While undocumented students have become more visible in our state, they remain underrepresented in places where decisions that affect them are being made,” she said.
According to de León’s office, Mateo graduated from Santa Clara University law School in 2016 and passed the California bar last year.
She was born in Oaxaca, Mexico and came to the United States with her parents when she was 14, according to de León’s office.
There is an embedded video in the Sac Bee article. Click HERE and scroll down to view it.
• • • • •
Regarding Middle Ground’s comment: “To vote in California elections or serve in any elected position you must be a U.S. citizen. The number of illegal and visa holding but non-citizen Hispanic immigrants make up about 35% of the estimated 15 million Hispanics living here. That means a large number of Hispanics in the state can’t vote or hold office.”
I know for an absolute fact this is NOT true.
Sherry and I volunteered, after we both retired, to work the elections as a way to serve the community. Serving as voting officers in the 2003 elections which involved the recall of Grey Davis, we were both assigned to work a precinct in Gilroy. Volunteers undergo extensive training sessions which are designed to educate them at all levels and leave no margin for error, theoretically. Our experience was far different.
The supervisor, who is required to be present at all times, arrived late to open up and left for “work,” not returning until after 5:00, leaving her untrained husband to help. He, unfortunately, spoke no English and was unable to read or write in Spanish. Sherry and I worked from 7 a.m. until polling closed at 8 p.m. without leaving the polling place, a drafty gymnasium.
Because the husband knew most of the locals, he merely gave them ballots as they walked in. We were able to catch most of them and get them to sign in and follow protocol. That afternoon farm labor buses started showing up and the “voting” really started. It was impossible to keep the rolls straight as most of the voters had same or similar names, and many were registered at the same addresses. In California asking for identification to prevent this kind of fraud can result in a substantial fine and jail for up to a year for the asker. One man in a farm labor transport van would show up with several “voters,” collect their ballots and disappear into a booth to “vote.” He voted at least 44 times that we counted. One wonders how many times this scenario was repeated on a statewide basis.
On closing the polls there was no way to reconcile the ballots or the rolls. We were so disgusted that when we finally got home we sat in the hot tub and had a bottle of Cabernet for dinner.
We reported the irregularities of course. Several times. We were promised an investigation, but as far as we know, it came to naught.
We were told, however, that I could become a supervisor and run a polling place to ensure accuracy. So we volunteered our home as a district polling place and for over ten years hosted every election, large and small. In that period of time there was never a discrepancy in the balloting.
Ken Hawkes, <email@example.com>
I don’t mean to sound flip, Ken, but knowing you on a personal basis since 1970, since when did it become necessary for you to feel disgusted before you decided to go for a soak in a hot tub with a bottle of Cabernet? 😉
• • • • •
Just got through reading “Middle Ground’s” response in the last Farsider to your article about immigration. A couple of my thoughts:
1) I think a fair amount of Asians vote republican because they are generally a well educated, resourceful people who don’t need and don’t care for all the public handouts that are doled out to many other folks. (Interpret that as you see fit.)
2) What makes MG think that illegals don’t register to vote? They are already here illegally, so what difference does it make to them if they lie about being eligible to vote.
3) Don’t forget about the new sexual harassment claim against Gavin Newsom which was filed by none-other than a Hispanic female. Once a shoe-in, this will now be a close race between him and Villaraigosa. Both are unfavorable to me, however, but just like the presidential race, it will come down to who is the lesser of the two evils.
Lumpy (Lundberg) <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Lumpy’s second point backs up Ken Hawkes missive just above.
• • • • •
I’ll try not to harp too much longer about gun slinging teachers and university students ducking behind their ivy towers — gun towers, that is. Or the right to bear arms vs the right to live. How far are we going to drive the arguments? We all know we have to do something. That’s not that hard to figure out. Sometimes we like to pretend like we’re walking around with fog on our lenses, when we’re really not. We were just refusing and being stubborn. If mass shootings are a lesson, then we are slow learners, or we just don’t want to get it. So it’s bound to keep repeating itself until we do.
At this stage of the world, we need guns for protection. I understand that. I got it. From our tribal caveman days. Everyone gets that. From rock throwing to spears to bow and arrows, to bullets and everything in between and beyond. That’s not going to change any time soon.
What we call peace in this world is just a quiet buzzing background tension. We’re always on guard and ready to jump. It’s not a real peace. It’s not very deep. It’s definitely not lasting. It’s kind of a pseudo cover up that comes and goes with the political winds. Violence is always there lurking. It’s like our two-fold inheritance — both a gift and curse. But it’s there nonetheless, and we have to deal with it; better understand the nuances and consequences.
The short view; first things first…change, regulate ourselves so that everyone feels safe; is safe — safe enough for growth. The long view requires us to be more expanded than where we are now. Requires us to be impeccable with our words, wise in our decision making, and stronger in our heart center. How to marry strength, responsibility and compassion? That’s a start. That’s the art. That skill will take a sustained effort. But that’s the next challenge. That has always been our next challenge.
All sides of the debate can be right. There are many sides to the truth. Nobody has to be wrong; but we still have to find a way forward that’s better than students wearing bullet-proof vests, and schools built like penitentiaries.
We can do this thing.
Dave (Scannell) <email@example.com>
• • • • •
I’m tired of keeping my disgust for Maxine Waters to myself and am asking that you include this clip about the idiot representative because it would feel so good. But please don’t publish my email address so I don’t receive any hate mail from your readers who are fans of hers. For that matter, just call me…
A Trump Fan
I will be happy honor your request for privacy, T.F., but for the record, I don’t think you will find many readers of the Farsider who are strong supporters of Maxine’s. Here is the clip you included…
EMERALD SOCIETY REMEMBRANCES (2)
ARE YOU A SANTA CLARA COUNTY VOTER?
Submitted by Kerry Smith
WELCOME TO FIRST RESPONDERS NIGHT WITH THE GIANTS
NEW TIP-A-COP FLYER
IS TURNABOUT FAIR PLAY?
CBP Agents Refusing To Turn Over Wanted Felons To California Police
by Holly Matkin — Blue Lives Matter — March 19, 2018
Federal agents have refused to hand over illegals with
local and state charges in the sanctuary state of California.
Sacramento, CA – U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CBP) agents in the sanctuary state of California have begun denying local and state law enforcement officials’ requests to extradite illegal immigrants with active felony warrants and pending charges.
Their refusal to turn over the fugitives is due to the fact that the offenders will not be returned to CBP custody, San Diego Sector Chief Patrol Agent Rodney Scott said, according to recently filed court documents.
Chief Scott’s statements were included in the Department of Justice (DOJ) lawsuit against the State of California, Governor Jerry Brown, and Attorney General Xavier Becerra, which was filed in U.S. District Court’s Eastern District of California on March 6.
The exhibit outlined several instances during which illegal immigrants arrested by Border Patrol agents were found to have active warrants and/or pending criminal charges within the state of California.
“In each instance, the Border Patrol Agent determined it was not appropriate, consistent with his or her federal responsibilities to ensure the enforcement of immigration law, to release a criminal alien to the state and local law enforcement,” Chief Scott explained.
He noted a suspect that they had arrested with an outstanding felony warrant for sexual assault. The San Diego County Sheriff’s Department refused to offer assurances that they would return the suspect when they were done with him.
“Therefore, the criminal alien remained in DHS custody,” Chief Scott noted.
He cited an occasion when agents, “relying on a long history of cooperation” with Imperial County Sheriff’s Office and Ventura County Sheriff’s Office, turned over an alien who had an active probation violation warrant in Ventura County.
“Ventura County rescinded their intent to extradite the individual,” Chief Scott recounted. “ Imperial County subsequently released the alien without notifying Border Patrol that he was pending release or that he was released.”
He noted that in January, the San Diego Sheriff’s Department agreed to notify Border Patrol agents when an illegal immigrant was being released from their custody, so the agency opted to turn the offender over to county law enforcement to face the local charges.
On that occasion, the San Diego County followed through with their agreement, and the offender was returned to Border Patrol custody.
“That being said, we have ongoing concerns that SDSD is engaging in this cooperation in a way that likely cannot be squared with the text of SB 54, and have significant ongoing concerns with relying on this kind of informal cooperation in the face of SB 54,” Chief Scott said.
California’s sanctuary state laws have also impacted Border Patrol’s ability to assist other states.
He cited another occasion in January, during which an agent learned that an illegal immigrant that had been arrested was also wanted in the state of Iowa.
Officials in Iowa confirmed that they wanted to extradite the suspect to face charges. They said that they would honor Border Patrol’s detainer and notification requests regarding the offender. They also agreed to pay for all expenses associated with the extradition.
“However, I understand that state extradition legal procedures in California allow an individual to refuse or contest the extradition.” Chief Scott explained. “Thus, if the alien were turned over to California law enforcement, even though the underlying warrant was in Iowa, the alien could still be released from California custody during the extradition process.”
“Given the significant risk that an alien with a significant felony arrest warrant from another state who was unlawfully present in the United States would simply be released into the country, Border Patrol declined to permit SDSD to take custody,” he said.
The lawsuit was the first to be filed against a local or state government over the issue of immigration, The New York Times reported.
Colorado, Illinois, New Mexico, Oregon, and Vermont have also adopted sanctuary state laws, as have individual counties and cities in over twelve states.
There are interesting readers’ comments about this story. To read them click HERE.
THIS IS ONE WAY FOR A SCHOOL TEACHER TO MAKE THE NEWS (AND BECOME CONTROVERSIAL)
Los Gatos: Teacher Defends Lowering Student’s Grade After School Walkout
By Joseph Geha <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Mercury News — March 19, 2018
Saying he was defending the Constitution, a Los Gatos teacher
on Sunday stood firmly behind his decision to give a student a
failing grade on a quiz after she left class to join a walkout
aimed at bringing attention to gun violence last week.
David Kissner, who teaches math and science at C.T. English Middle School, said Sunday he believes the Loma Prieta Joint Union School District “bent over backwards in order to promote and encourage” student participation in the walkouts, after the superintendent claimed the district would remain neutral on the issue.
“If they cut class to play basketball it should be the same consequence if they cut class to participate in a political activity. But there’s a consequence,” Kissner said.
A parent of a student at the school told NBC Bay Area that his daughter was punished for participating in the walkout, one of a wave of protests across the nation against gun violence in the wake of the Parkland, Florida massacre that killed 17 people, most of them students. He said the punishment – no credit for the quiz, although she answered some questions before she left class – occurred despite assurances from the school’s principal and district superintendent that nothing would happen to students if they walked out.
He alleged the teacher gave students a pop quiz Wednesday to discourage students from participating in the walkout because the teacher opposed it.
“Never pull a pop quiz and penalize the kids that wanted to exercise their First Amendment rights,” the parent told the television station.
The NBC Bay Area story didn’t name the teacher, but in a press conference Sunday, Kissner stepped forward and said he is that teacher.
Kissner denied it was a pop quiz, and said he planned it days in advance to coincide with “Pi Day,” March 14. He added he warned students that a quiz was scheduled for Wednesday.
Kissner accused the district administration of flip-flopping on the walkout. Sunday, he said Superintendent Corey Kidwell told teachers 10 days in advance of the walkouts they should “make it clear to students that a walkout protest is an act of civil disobedience” and that anyone who leaves would face standard disciplinary actions, such as an unexcused absence.
But “the proof is in the pudding,” Kissner said, noting that Kidwell also told teachers in a later meeting that any children whose parents signed their child out on March 14 would not be subject to consequences, which he said is in clear violation of school policy.
Kissner, who repeatedly invoked the Constitution during the interview, also said Kidwell told teachers 10 days ahead to avoid planning graded activities for that day if they didn’t already have it in place, and as a result, “not a single teacher here on campus had a lesson plan for that day,” he said.
He also said the district changed the bell schedules that day in an attempt to accommodate children who wanted to participate. Kissner said in over six years of teaching there, he’s never seen that done to support a political activity.
Kidwell could not be reached for comment Sunday.
Kissner said that all school districts who made special exceptions to their discipline policy were disrespecting the U.S. Constitution by doing so.
“When a publicly funded school promotes one side of a highly divisive political issue, we undermine the the very constitution that protects the right we so cherish,” he said.
ARE AMERICAN HUNTERS FADING INTO THE SUNSET?
Larry “Lumpy” Lundberg, an avid hunter, sent in an article with the title below. Due to its length, we’ll provide the first four paragraphs of the story along with a link to the entire article for those of you interested in the subject…
Decline In Hunters Threatens How U.S. Pays for Conservation
By Nathan Rott
NPR — March 20, 2018
Jacob Zeuske climbs into a deer stand overlooking
a wooded basin in Sauk County, Wisconsin
Tom Wrasse is at his hunting shack alone. Light pours into the small room from a window framed by antlers, harvested from the surrounding central Wisconsin woods. On the opposite wall is a collage of fading photos, showing how big the hunting parties out here used to be.
“I try to keep the tradition alive,” Wrasse says, looking at the photos over a cup of coffee. “But no, they’ve all gone their separate ways.”
In rural Wisconsin, the passion for hunting still appears to burn as bright as the blaze orange jackets you’ll see stalking through fields or clambering up into trees during deer season. But stop into a meat processing center or a sporting goods store, ask about it at a bar or a hunting shack and you’ll hear from people like Wrasse: Fewer people are hunting. “It’s just kind of fading away,” he says.
A new survey by the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service shows that today, only about 5 percent of Americans, 16 years old and older, actually hunt. That’s half of what it was 50 years ago and the decline is expected to accelerate over the next decade.
Click HERE to read the rest of the story.
STORIES OF THE WEEK
Spooked Taxi Driver
Received from Alice Murphy
A taxi passenger leaned over to ask the driver a question and gently tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention.
The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up and over a curb, and stopped when his cab hit a street light.
For a few moments everything was silent in the cab. Then, the shaking driver said, “Are you okay? I’m so sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me.”
The badly shaken passenger apologized to the driver and said, “I didn’t realize that a mere tap on the shoulder would startle someone so badly.”
The driver replied, “No, no, I’m the one who is sorry, it’s entirely my fault. Today is my very first day driving a cab. I’ve been driving a hearse for the past 25 years.”
• • • • •
Men and Women
From the Archives
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
On Eating Out:
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a twenty, even though the tab is only $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit that they want change back.
When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need, but it’s on sale.
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says afterwards is the beginning of a new argument.
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren’t looking, men kick cats.
On the Future:
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.
On Dressing Up:
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
Men wake up as good-looking as they were when they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
A woman knows all about her children. She knows about their dental appointments, romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears, hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
A married man should try and forget his mistakes. There is no point in two people remembering the same thing.
• • • • •
Received from Rodger Cripe
A very self-important college freshman attending a recent football game took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation.
“You grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one,” the student said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear. “The young people of today are much more advanced than people your age. We grew up with television, jet planes, space travel, man walking on the moon and the Internet. We have cell phones, nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers, automated manufacturing, amazing technologies and,” pausing to take another drink of beer…
The senior took advantage of the break in the student’s litany and said, “You’re right, son. We didn’t have those things when we were young…so we invented them. Now, you arrogant little bastard, what are YOU doing for the next generation?”
The applause was resounding…
• • • • •
Separating the dogs can be a problem
From the Archives
A woman calls a veterinarian at 1:00 in the morning, frantic that her pooch has been carrying on with another dog. They are now stuck together in the yard and she wants to separate them.
The male vet, sounding a little irritated asks, “Did you try warm water?”
“Yes,” said the woman, “it didn’t work.”
“Did you try banging pots and pans together, making a lot of noise to frighten them apart?”
The woman replied, “No, but I’ll try that right now, hold the line!”
A few minutes later she gets back on the phone and says, “No, that didn’t work either!”
The vet says, “OK, try this. After you hang up, put your phone in the window so the dogs can hear it. Then get on your cell phone and dial your home number.”
The woman asks, “Do you really think the ringing of my home phone will get them apart?”
The vet replies, “Well, it worked with me and my wife when you called!”
IT COULD BE WORSE…YOU COULD HAVE BEEN BORN A BAT
THE BEST OF THE LATE NITE JOKES
Here is this week’s offering for you Anti-Trumpsters with a meme or two from the other side of the aisle tossed in for balance…
March 15 — 19
March 15: Everybody is into March Madness. Everybody bets — President Obama filled out a bracket. He picked Michigan State to win. President Trump, however, did not. He likes to wait to fill out his bracket until after the tournament so he can tell us that he got them all right.
Yet another day of March Madness for the president: According to the “failing” New York Times, special prosecutor Robert Mueller has subpoenaed the Trump Organization, the president’s company, demanding that they hand over any documents related to business they may have done in Russia. In an investigation like this, it is important to follow the money no matter how many porn stars it leads to.
Donald Trump, surprisingly, hasn’t tweeted about the subpoena yet. Probably because he doesn’t know how to spell the word subpoena.
There are rumors he may try to fire Robert Mueller, the guy who is investigating him, which — that would have to be it, right? At that point, we have to wait until he goes to Mar-a-Lago and lock him in it forever.
Trump said Mueller looking into his finances is a red line he wouldn’t allow to be crossed and now it is presumably being crossed. Why do I think this ends with Melania in a trench coat handing files over in an underground parking lot?
There are new developments in the case of Stormy Daniels, the adult film star who may or definitely did have sex with Donald Trump. She is trying to raise money to pay her legal fees. She launched a fundraising page on a website called CrowdJustice.com. So now you can give money to a porn star just like the president of the United States.
In 24 hours, she’s raised more than $135,000. I never would have thought giving money to a porn star would be an act of patriotism. But then, I never thought a guy who would get in a Twitter war with Cher would become president.
Every dollar you donate potentially brings us one step closer to seeing photos that will haunt our dreams forever.
Toys R Us is going out of business. They’re closing all 735 of their stores and they’re putting Babies R Us up for adoption.
I’ll always remember Toys R Us as the store where my children had a complete and total meltdown each and every time we went there. I guess people don’t enjoy that anymore. They buy toys on Amazon. Amazon will not rest until every other store is an abandoned warehouse teeming with raccoons.
March 19: Happy spring break for those of you who are springing and breaking.
I want to say, no two tweets have ever summed up a presidency quite like these two. No. 1: “Sean Hannity on ‘Fox & Friends’ now! Great! 8:18 A.M.” And about an hour later, “A total WITCH HUNT with massive conflicts of interest!” Is it possible that our president is a bot? Because there’s no rhyme or reason for any of this. If anyone you knew tweeted that, you’d text them and say, “Hey, I think your account got hacked.”
Over the weekend Trump for the first time mentioned special counsel Robert Mueller by name. He hadn’t done that before. He wrote, “Why does the Mueller team have 13 hardened Democrats, some big Crooked Hillary supporters, and Zero Republicans? Another Dem recently added. Does anyone think this is fair? And yet there is NO COLLUSION.” Mueller’s team has no Republicans. Except of course for Robert Mueller himself, who is a Republican.
Sources close to Donald Trump say he feels newly emboldened to ignore the advice of those around him and just say what he really feels. Does that mean up until now he was holding back? Because he was calling Kim Jong Un “Little Rocket Man” and bragging about the size of his nuclear button. Was that the old and more judicious Donald Trump that we will miss one day?
Meanwhile, congratulations to Trump’s BFF Vladimir Putin, who was elected yesterday for his fourth term as president of Russia. He won in a landslide. His opponents coincidentally died in a landslide. All of them.
March 20: President Trump met at the White House today with the crown prince of Saudi Arabia, Prince Mohammed bin Salman. They call him MBS for short. For real. Trump actually prepared for this meeting. His aides say he watched almost all of the movie “Aladdin” to get ready for it.
Establishing relationships with friendly foreign leaders is important for Trump right now, because he needs to build a network of countries he can flee to when the time comes.
During his sit-down with the prince, reporters asked Trump about his newly re-elected counterpart Vladimir Putin, who won another fixed election this week. And guess who called his KG-BFF to congratulate him on that? Trump congratulated him even though his national security adviser wrote in capital letters DO NOT CONGRATULATE him. Vladimir Putin just poisoned two people! Trump is calling to say “Hey, congrats.”
The Russia-collusion-palooza continues to get bigger every day. The president’s legal team is working overtime to help him avoid a lengthy interview with Special Counsel Robert Mueller. According to one of his advisers, Trump’s lawyers are in crunch time right now. Which is funny, because “crunch time” is also what they call it when an extra crispy bucket of KFC arrives at the White House.
March 19: In Indiana, police found a man at a White Castle with a container of dangerous chemicals. The man at a White Castle with the dangerous chemicals is known as “The Cook.”
People who ran the L.A. marathon said it was nice to finally get from downtown Los Angeles to Santa Monica in less than four hours.
Vladimir Putin has been re-elected to a fourth term as president of Russia. The final vote tally was: 76% Putin, 24% shot this morning.
Language-teaching app Duolingo recently added Klingon to its course selection. By the way, if you have the Duolingo app on your phone and you use it to learn Klingon, you can delete Tinder.
March 20: China is pressuring Washington not to impose big tariffs on its steel. You can tell China’s playing hardball because today they said, “Remember – we have your new iPhones.”
It’s come out that the president’s son Donald Trump Jr. had an affair with a contestant on “Celebrity Apprentice.” Trump Jr. defended himself, saying, “Have you seen Gary Busey’s legs?”
A 102-year-old woman broke a pair of world track and field records. The 102-year-old ran the 100-meter dash with a time of “February.”
Earlier today, President Trump called Vladimir Putin and congratulated him on his presidential win. Coincidentally, Trump made the same call to Putin on Nov. 9, 2016.
According to a study, being a new mother is the equivalent of working two and a half full-time jobs. And, even worse, the boss is constantly grabbing for your breasts.
March 15: It’s spring break! Just remember, the partying lasts a week, but the photos will cost you jobs forever.
Cancun, Mexico, was just named the best spring break destination, and thousands of Americans are expected to visit. And the people of Mexico were like, “Never thought we’d say this, but what’s the ETA on Trump’s wall?”
March Madness is officially underway. An interesting poll says that 17 percent of March Madness viewers watched the game with their boss last year. The bosses called it “tons of fun” while employees called it “mandatory.”
Today, President Trump had a meeting with Bill Gates. At one point, both looked at each other and went, “Wow, what a terrible haircut.”
Gates and Trump actually have a lot in common, because they’ve both given away millions of dollars. Gates calls it philanthropy, while Trump calls it hush money.
March 20: The East Coast is expecting a giant nor’easter tomorrow. That’s when you know 2018 belongs to women. Even Mother Nature is like, “Imma do me, and y’all can just deal.”
President Trump called Vladimir Putin to congratulate him on his re-election. Yup, he called Putin on the phone, or as Trump calls it, “a pooty call.”
A former Playboy Playmate named Karen McDougal says she had an affair with Trump and now she’s suing him. You know things are crazy when you hear the president is being sued by a porn star and people go, “Which one?”
Robert Mueller wants to interview Trump, but the president’s lawyers want to limit the conversation to certain topics. So right now they’re trying to compromise based on what Mueller wants to talk about, and what Trump wants to talk about. For example, Robert Mueller wants to talk about Anthony Scaramucci. Trump wants to talk about offshore drilling. They’re compromising and talking about the “Jersey Shore” reboot.
Mueller wants to talk about Jared Kushner. Trump wants to talk about new drug laws. So they’re compromising and talking about “dat good kush.”
Mueller wants to talk about George Papadopoulos. Trump wants to talk about John Kelly. They’re compromising and talking about Papa John’s.
And finally, Mueller wants to talk about mistakes, and Trump wants to talk about himself. They’re compromising and talking about Donald Trump Jr.
March 15: According to The Washington Post, President Trump boasted at a fundraising dinner last night that he made up information in a meeting with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. Trump is so bad at lying, he lets the public immediately know he lied. If Trump ever had to take a lie detector test, he’d probably just draw the crazy lines himself.
According to The New York Times, special counsel Robert Mueller has subpoenaed the Trump Organization to turn over documents, indicating the investigation will likely last for several more months. Look, I know you have to be thorough, but at this rate, by the time you’re done, our only ally will be Luxembourg, Eric will be secretary of state, and it’ll be illegal for me to make jokes about any of it.
When someone is drowning, you throw them a life preserver. You don’t throw them a nine-part DVD series on the history of swimming.
Special counsel Robert Mueller subpoenaed the Trump Organization to turn over documents, making it the first time Mueller demanded documents directly from Trump’s businesses. You think Trump’s businesses keep records? The Trump University textbooks were just Wikipedia pages printed out and stapled together.
According to Politico, the publishers of former FBI Director James Comey’s upcoming memoir are taking extreme precautions to prevent the manuscript from leaking. Yeah, it would be a shame if something got out at the wrong time and ruined everything for him.
Billionaire investor Warren Buffett is offering his employees $1 million per year for the rest of their lives if they can fill out a perfect March Madness bracket. Buffett was like, “It’s just a fun little way to remind my employees that I can buy and sell each and every one of them.”
A new report has found that more animals have died while in the care of United Airlines than any other U.S. airline over the last three years. While animals who flew Spirit Airlines only WISHED they were dead.
According to ride-hailing app Uber — because if I said “Uber” you wouldn’t know what I meant — some of the most unique items forgotten in cars were a Burger King visor, divorce papers, and a Star Wars encyclopedia. Although maybe if you’d lost the Burger King visor and the Star Wars encyclopedia earlier, Jerry, you wouldn’t have gotten divorced.
March 19: Russian President Vladimir Putin was elected yesterday to his fourth term in office. Putin handily beat his closest rival, a poisoned corpse.
After President Trump attacked Special Counsel Robert Mueller in the Russia investigation on Twitter, Republican Rep. Trey Gowdy said, “When you are innocent, act like it.” Said Trump, “I’ll keep that in mind if I’m ever innocent.”
A spokesperson for House Speaker Paul Ryan said yesterday that Special Counsel Robert Mueller should be able to do his job. What a brave stance from the spokesperson for the speaker of the House.
Why does a speaker have a spokesperson? YOU’RE the speaker. That’s like someone from Geico saying, “The lizard believes he can save you 15 percent on car insurance.” I want to hear it from the lizard.
A new poll has found that a majority of Americans believe the government is spying on them. ”No, we’re not,” said your microwave.
Actress Cynthia Nixon today announced her bid to run for New York governor, and she debuted her campaign slogan, “Nixon 2018: No Relation.”
Former FBI director James Comey’s memoir has already topped Amazon’s list of best-sellers, almost a month ahead of its release, due to pre-orders. Or you can find it in your local bookstore blocking Hillary Clinton’s book.
According to The New York Times, friends of President Trump say he was trapped in a West Wing cage built by Chief of Staff John Kelly, but has finally broken loose. “Did he say how he did it?” yelled Eric.
According to a new study, pandas have a natural ability to neutralize cyanide poison. So we finally found someone to run against Putin in 2024.
March 20: Today was the first day of spring. [picture of snowstorm] Psych!
President Trump said today that he and Vladimir Putin will probably get together in the not-too-distant future to discuss the arms race. Oh, sorry, I misread that — it’s to race into each other’s arms.
When asked today if the Russian election was free and fair, White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said, quote, “We’re focused on our elections. We don’t get to dictate how other countries operate.” “Ha, ha! Good one,” said Iraq.
President Trump today met with the crown prince of Saudi Arabia at the White House. The prince asked for Trump’s help fighting terrorism, and Trump asked for three wishes.
According to reports, adult film star Stormy Daniels took a polygraph test in 2011 about her relationship with President Trump, and the examiner found there was a more than 99 percent probability she told the truth about their affair. And we know Trump is lying because we can hear him.
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s wedding cake will be lemon elder flower instead of the traditional fruitcake. Incidentally, “Lemon Elder flower” is the name Queen Elizabeth uses on Tinder.
March 15: Elon Musk has announced that his company SpaceX will be ready to fly an unmanned rocket to Mars and back by 2019. And shortly thereafter, they’ll be able to send people there to colonize the planet. You know, just in case you-know-who is re-elected to the you-know-what.
The name of the rocket is the BFR, or the Big Falcon Rocket. And I’ve got to tell you, it’s pretty mother-falcon impressive. When I saw it, I was like, “What the falc? Are you falcon kidding me?”
After residents in Birmingham complained about the terrible smell, New York City has agreed to stop sending rail cars full of the city’s excess sewage to a landfill in Alabama. Yeah, train cars filled with human waste and an unbearable smell — or, as that’s called in New York, the subway.
Alabama will no longer be overwhelmed by the stench of New York’s raw sewage, so congratulations, New Jersey! You’re back in business!
Earlier this week, the Church of Scientology premiered its very own television network, which will stream on various platforms. It’s like any other network, except every show is a cult hit.
Now, many people are wondering whether a religion can also be a TV network, and then Fox News was like, “Ahem, ahem.” It’s what they do at Fox News all the time.
If you’re unhappy at work, you should know about a new study that proves employees feel less resentful and improve the quality of their work if they’re allowed to — get this — stab voodoo dolls of their boss. During the study, employees stuck their voodoo dolls with pins, they burned them with candles, and pinched them with pliers. Or, if they really, really wanted to do some damage, they talked to the doll for 45 minutes about their juice cleanse.
They stab dolls of their bosses to relieve on-the-job stress, and it completely works, because their bosses found out about it, they lost their jobs, and now they don’t have any on-the-job stress at all.
March 19: Once again President Trump spent his entire weekend tweeting like a madman about the Russia investigation and even called out the head of the investigation, Robert Mueller, saying, “The Mueller probe should never have been started in that there was no collusion and there was no crime. It was based on fraudulent activities and a Fake Dossier paid for by Crooked Hillary and the DNC. WITCH HUNT!” Now let’s see: Wildly unrestrained? Check. Semi-coherent? Check. Tweet that ends in all caps? Check. Guys, it’s official, Donald Trump is on spring break!
Now this is the first time Trump has attacked Mueller by name. So you know what that means — it means that after months of practice, Trump’s finally learned how to spell Mueller. “No, Mr. President there is an ‘e.’ It is a silent ‘e,’ you don’t hear it when you say it. I know this doesn’t make sense to you.”
Over the weekend, Vladimir Putin won a fourth term as president of Russia. It’s Putin’s first presidential victory since the 2016 American election.
He won in a landslide. He got 77 percent of the vote. In other news, 23 percent of the Russian population has gone missing today.
In financial news, billionaire investor Warren Buffett is facing some criticism after saying in a recent interview, “You will not be way happier if you double your net worth.” Spoken like someone who has $90 billion.
But he is partially right. Happiness does not come from net worth. It comes from the things you can BUY because of your net worth.
He might have a point because thanks to student loan debt, most people’s net worth is negative $40,000. And you do not want to double that.
March 20: As the Russia investigation moves forward, Trump and his legal team have submitted documents in writing in the hopes that Trump’s interview under oath will be shorter. Sources say Trump’s attorneys are worried he would be vulnerable in a long interview. It’s never a good sign when your attorneys are like, “You need to meet us halfway here because my client can’t go 10 minutes without lying.”
They handed in written documents. This means investigators have pored over documents in English, in Russian, and now in crayon.
Speaking of Trump’s lawyers, Trump has hired a new attorney for his defense team. Trump’s newest legal counsel is a man named Joseph diGenova, who has frequently and vocally pushed the conspiracy theory that the FBI is plotting to frame the president. Now, I personally don’t think any of that is true. But let’s hope so!
Trump’s son Donald Jr. is making headlines after it was reported that he had an affair with singer Aubrey O’Day, who was a contestant his father’s show “Celebrity Apprentice.” So it turns out, on “The Apprentice” there was something even worse than getting fired.
Now, if you don’t remember who Aubrey O’Day is, I’m pretty sure that’s the reason she just leaked this story.
March 19: Are you guys enjoying March Madness? Speaking of madness: Donald Trump. We’re on the brink of another crisis because it really feels like Trump is gearing up to fire Special Counsel (and guy wondering how much he’ll get for his book deal) Robert Mueller.
This past Saturday, Trump’s attorney, John Dowd, called for “the immediate shutdown of the special counsel probe into Russian interference in the 2016 election.” Dowd made the demand in an email sent to a reporter that was written in purple Comic Sans. Really! Sounds inappropriate until you remember that the Declaration of Independence was originally written in Wingdings.
The next day, Trump tweeted, “Why does the Mueller team have 13 hardened Democrats, some big Crooked Hillary supporters, and zero Republicans? Another Dem recently added… Does anyone think this is fair? And yet, there is NO COLLUSION!” Yes, “hardened Democrats.” You don’t want to mess with them. Those hardened Democrats will walk right up to an old lady and stick her with a Social Security check, all right? ”You stay down, baby, or you’re gonna get some healthcare! ’Cause you look like you need it.”
We know Trump is in a firing mood, because this weekend former FBI Deputy Director Andrew McCabe was fired just two days before his retirement! What!? No, no, no! Wrong! If you want to get rid of a cop two days before his retirement, you don’t FIRE him. You send him out on one last job with a rookie.
March 20: Does anybody here use Facebook still? Because the company is reeling from revelations that they allowed the private information of 50 million Americans to be harvested by the Trump campaign’s consulting firm Cambridge Analytica. Cambridge Analytica, by the way, is also the scientific name for John Oliver.
Cambridge Analytica got all this data from a personality quiz, which claimed to be for research purposes. But it actually harvested psychological data and got access to some data on the user’s Facebook friends, which explains that fun question, “If you were your friends’ credit card number, what would you be?”
Now, people are blaming Facebook for this because they handed over all your data willingly. It’s less like they’re a bank that got robbed at gunpoint and more like a bank that just gave bank robbers your money because that’s their business model. But now you can’t quit the bank because your whole family is at the bank and, also, the bank is where you get to see if your high school friends got fat.
First daughter Ivanka visited Iowa yesterday, where she visited a science facility to promote the president’s infrastructure proposal. Ivanka has been getting some heat for tweeting a picture of herself dressed like Science Barbie. Just like a real Barbie, she has no scientific credentials, and the space where her heart should be is a hollow plastic shell.
WEEKLY SNOPES URBAN LEGEND UPDATE
Click HERE for the most current update.
AND THE WINNER IS…
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This is an addendum to last week’s closer featuring professional Trials rider Danny MacAskill who performs amazing tricks on a bike. Unlike the previous video, however, this one places you INSIDE Danny’s mind with a video titled “Danny MacAskill’s Imaginate.” Like last week, continue watching after the apparent ending for some outtakes where some of the stunts resulted in bumps and bruises. Posted on 1/19/13. (7:13)
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Meet the Navy’s new “crewless (drone) sub killer,” courtesy of DARPA, the Tech Insider website and THIS video clip sent in by Lumpy. Posted on 2/7/18. (3:11)
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Attention all Farsider readers: Keep this in
mind for the future because it is not that far off…
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Few things on this planet are cuter than tiny critters, and HERE is a clip that proves it. Posted on 3/3/18. (3:00)
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What do Porcupines and Turtles have in common? This clip will show you. Fortunately, a lady was nearby who was able to help the little fellow find his footing and crawl back into the woods where he felt SAFE. Posted on 3/20//18. (2:47)
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Lisa and JoAnn from Hope for Paws responded to a report of a stray senior dog whose owners moved a year earlier and left the former PET to fend for itself. Posted on 3/16/18. (3:32)
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This is the story about Little Hugo who was attacked and received serious wounds from other dogs before he finally got rescued by LISA. Posted on 12/9/17. (3:56)
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Little Oreo races to protect “Cookie Monster” while both are being RESCUED by Eldad and Lisa. Posted on 4/7/15. (3:40)
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A bonus clip this week involves the rescue of a little Bunny that was called in by Sister Loreta. Eldad was assisted in the rescue by Scott Bradley from Costa Rica Dog Rescue who was visiting Hope for Paws in L.A. Sister Loreta volunteered to foster the little Bunny and named her ROSABELLE. Posted on 1/12/2016. (3:47)
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Can a Golden Retriever be overly protective of her puppy? Have a look at THIS 17-second clip received from Don Hale and decide for yourself. Posted on 11/17/17.
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Well done, brother. Very well done, even if THIS was rehearsed with the intention of becoming a popular YouTube post. (It has drawn over 14 million views.) Posted on 4/14/16. (1:20)
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This is proof that a good woman is needed for balance…
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(Rated R for Risqué) This 10-year-old comedy clip about a guy losing his marbles is a little risqué, but “Big Red” (MT) found it funny, and we’re going to gamble that it will lead to more smiles than frowns. Click HERE to view the clip. Posted on 11/7/07. (1:17)
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Those of you who have used the Internet to view and study commercial airline accidents and incidents are likely aware of this case sent in by Joe Suske. For those of you who are not, it’s a synopsis of an incident replicated in THIS animation where a cockpit window in front of the airliner’s captain blew out and sucked him outside the aircraft. Posted on 10/22/16. (6:57)
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The FAA, CIA and NTSB have reopened the “Miracle on the Hudson” investigation and
determined that Sully’s aircraft was brought down by members of a terrorist cell…
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This item received from Gary Johnson is a repeat of an entry we ran back in 2013. It’s one of those videos that is well worth your time even if you recall seeing it five years ago. Following is the lead-in as noted in Gary’s email. Posted on 5/21/13 (14:38)
An 18 year-old just out of high school was trained to take pictures of damage to German targets by B-17s. He flew in a British Spitfire fitted with extra fuel tanks instead of guns. In other words, he flew over Germany unarmed.
Stored for 61 years in two suitcases, the 16mm home movies were inherited by filmmaker William Lorton from his great uncle who had served as a Flight Surgeon. The suitcases contained 3 hours of war footage that included a compelling crash landing of a Spitfire in 1944.
Filmed in a 2005 interview with the now 83 year old former pilot and seeing the expression on his face when he realizes it was he who was at the controls during the crash landing is something you won’t soon forget.
Click HERE to view the film.
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This weeks’ closer is about a little girl and the dog she loved. It’s also about a beautiful soul working in the dead letter office of the U.S. Postal Service based on the following email from the mother of a little girl that went viral a few years ago. It read…
Our 14-year-old dog, Abbey, died last month. The day after she died, my 4-year-old daughter, Meredith, was crying and talking about how much she missed Abbey. She asked if we could write a letter to God so that when Abbey got to heaven, He would recognize her. I told her that I thought we could, so I composed the letter while she dictated these words:
Will you please take care of my dog? She died yesterday and is with you in heaven. I miss her very much. I am happy that you let me have her as my dog even though she got sick. I hope you will play with her. She likes to play with balls and to swim. I am sending a picture of her so when you see her, you will know that she is my dog. I really miss her.
We put the letter in an envelope along with a picture of Abbey and Meredith and addressed it to God in Heaven. We also put our return address on it. Then, Meredith pasted several stamps on the front of the envelope because she said it would take lots of stamps to get the letter all the way to heaven. That afternoon she dropped it into the letter box at the post office. A few days later, she asked if God had gotten the letter yet. I told her that I thought He had.
Yesterday, there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front porch. It was addressed “To Meredith” in an unfamiliar hand. Meredith opened it. Inside was a book by Mr. Rogers with the title, “When a Pet Dies.” Taped to the inside front cover was the letter we had written to God in its opened envelope. On the opposite page was the picture of Abbey and Meredith, along with this note:
Abbey arrived safely in heaven.
Having the picture was a big help. I recognized Abbey right away.
Abbey isn’t sick anymore. Her spirit is here with me, just like it stays in your heart. Abbey loved being your dog. Since we don’t need our bodies in heaven, I don’t have any pockets to keep your picture in, so I am sending it back to you in this little book for you to keep and have something to remember Abbey by.
Thank you for the beautiful letter and thank your mother for helping you write it and sending it to me. What a wonderful mother you have. I picked her especially for you.
I send my blessings every day and remember that I love you very much.
By the way, I’m easy to find, I am wherever there is love.
Snopes confirmed that there really was an angel working for the U.S. Postal Service…
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Thank you for visiting.
Pic of the Week
THE FARSIDER SUBSCRIPTION ROSTER as of 3/22/18
Additions and changes since the last published update (alphabetical by last name):
No changes this week
To receive the email address of anyone on the list — or to receive the roster with all of the email addresses — send your request to <email@example.com>.
Abram, Fred & Connie
Allen, Chaplain Bryan
Alvarez, Pat (Campbell)
Babineau, Dave & Cheryl
Bray, Mary Ellen
Bridgen, Betty Ruth
Brown Jr., Bill
Burroughs, (Bronson) Utta
Carr Jr., John
Carrillo, Jaci Cordes
Clark, Bill (the one who stayed)
Embry (Howsmon), Eva
Foulkes [Duchon], Louise
Gonzalez, D. (formerly D. Avila)
Guido, Jr., Jim
Guido, Sr. Jim
Hare, Caren (Carlisle)
Harnish, Mary (Craven)
Horton, Debbie (McIntyre)
Howsmon, (Jr.) Frank
Howsmon (Sr.), Frank
Hunter, Dick (via daughter Kim Mindling)
Inami, Steve & Francine
Johnson, Tom & Fran
Klein, Lou Anna
Leonard (Lintern), Lynda
Muldrow, Mark “Mo”
O’Carroll, Diane (Azzarello)
Perry (Cervantez), Martha
Rappe (Ryman), Bonnie
Reyes (Buell), Cindy
Schenini (Alvarez), Joanne
Taves, Phil & Paula
Terry, Glenn & Maggie
Vallecilla, Ernie & Peggy
Van Dyck, Lois
Williams [Durham], Lanette
Windisch Jr., Steve