Jan. 18, 2018
The Farsider is an independent publication that is not affiliated with the San Jose Police Benevolent
Assn. The SJPBA has allowed the Farsider to be included on its website solely for the convenience of
the retired San Jose Police community. The content of this newsletter does not represent or reflect
the views of the San Jose Police Benevolent Association’s Board of Directors or its membership.
DEVASTATING NEWS ABOUT BILL
Bill’s wife and daughter are providing updates on his condition on a website called “Caring Bridge.” Friends can register and log onto the site to receive any new updates and post comments in support of Bill and his family. To do so, click HERE.
Four updates have been posted as we go to press early Thursday morning. The first two provide a time line describing how Bill arrived at his current condition. It’s the third update that has the devastating news.
Update 1: Last Sunday, January 7th, (Bill) was taken to French hospital in San Luis Obispo which specializes in heart care. They’ve run a number of tests and are trying to figure out what is happening as his body is very rapidly declining, specifically his muscles. He now has a pulmonologist, immunologist and neurologist on his care.
Update 2: Last night (Sunday January 14th) he was airlifted to UCLA Medical Center for testing. They are looking at possible auto-immune diseases (ALS, etc) which could be causing the rapid muscle loss and also breathing issues. It’s a whirlwind of information, tests, terms and questions. Tomorrow he has the testing and we’ll know more after the results come back. Please pray and think positive thoughts for Bill. We are hoping for answers and recovery.
Update 3: Tuesday, Jan. 16: Unfortunately Bill’s ability to breathe is rapidly declining just from yesterday to today. We are still waiting on the test today to confirm ALS, but have been told that even if it is confirmed, there isn’t anything they can do for him at this point. We are heartbroken and trying to wrap our minds around how this all has happened so rapidly. Our goal as of today is to get him transported home and be able to bring Hospice in so he can pass comfortably and without pain, surrounded by friends and family. We hope he remains stable enough to make the journey home, but if that can’t happen we are here by his side. We will keep you updated. Thank you all for your kind words.
Update 4: Wednesday, Jan. 17, 3:00 p.m. The Journey Home: This is Jennifer. My mom is currently in the ambulance with Bill enroute to home (Paso Robles). Hospice is involved and is making sure he has a hospital bed and all the medical equipment delivered and ready for him. We don’t know if we have hours, days or weeks left with him. Our goal is to keep him comfortable. For those who may want to visit, I know he would love to see friendly faces. Please coordinate with me so that it’s not overwhelming and they are not inundated with visitors all at once. If you are coming from out of town, please make arrangements for a hotel. People have offered to help and I know some sort of meal train would be amazing. I also know that my mom is very overwhelmed and would love a break from it all here and there. So an offer to hang out with Bill or to hang out with her or take her to lunch would be priceless. Maybe someone can offer to be a social coordinator! Thank you all for prayers and kind words. It means so much. We are still grappling with the diagnosis of ALS and just want Bill free of pain.
Words of encouragement can be left in the Comments section of the Caring Bridge website noted above. It will also yield any further updates posted by Bill’s wife and/or daughter. Should you want to leave words of encouragement via email, Bill’s address is: <firstname.lastname@example.org>
TOMORROW IS THE CELEBRATION OF LIFE FOR CHAPLAIN DAVE BRIDGEN
Friday, Jan. 19 at 1:00 p.m.
Family Community Church
478 Piercy Road
San Jose, CA 95138
Reception to follow:
San Jose Police Officers’ Association Hall
1151 N. 4th Street
In lieu of flowers, the Bridgen family is requesting
donations to the SJPD Chaplaincy Program
San Jose Police Chaplaincy
PO Box 2202
San Jose, CA 95109
For more information, contact Gary Johnson
at <email@example.com> or 408-807-6809
OFFICERS GENE SIMPSON AND GORDON SILVA MEMORIAL SET FOR THIS SATURDAY
—Rendering Support and Keeping Their Memory Alive —
Remembering Gene and Gordon
In keeping with the San Jose Police Emerald Society’s mission in “Rendering Support and Keeping Their Memory Alive,” we remember and honor Officers Gene Simpson and Gordon Silva.
Join members of the San Jose Police Emerald Society and others in a memorial service honoring Gene Simpson and Gordon Silva who were killed in the line of duty 29 years ago on Jan. 20, 1989. There will be a short memorial reading and prayer. Others are invited to say a few words if they like. It will close with the playing of Amazing Grace. Please arrive a few minutes early as the service will start promptly at 10:00 a.m.
Event Date: Saturday, Jan. 20, 2018
10:00 a.m. to 10:30 a.m.
The service will e held at Oak Hill Cemetery
300 Curtner Avenue, San Jose, CA
Sponsored by the San Jose Police Emerald Society
OFFICER ROBERT WHITE MEMORIAL SCHEDULED FOR SATURDAY, JAN. 27
—Rendering Support and Keeping Their Memory Alive —
Officer Robert White — EOW: Jan. 27, 1985
In keeping with the San Jose Police Emerald Society’s mission in “Rendering Support and Keeping Their Memory Alive,” we remember and honor Officer Robert White.
Join members of the San Jose Police Emerald Society and others in a memorial service honoring Officer Robert White who was killed in the line of duty 33 years ago on Jan. 27, 1985. There will be a short memorial reading and prayer. Others are invited to say a few words if they like. It will close with the playing of Amazing Grace. Please arrive a few minutes early as the service will start promptly at 10:00 a.m.
Event Date: Saturday, Jan. 27, 2018
10:00 a.m. to 10:30 a.m.
The service will e held at Oak Hill Cemetery
300 Curtner Avenue, San Jose, CA
Sponsored by the San Jose Police Emerald Society
This alert is about the Sac Bee article that appears below in the Pension News column…
Chuck Reed has always been a professor of doom. And we’ve know him as a ruinous mayor who almost single-handedly destroyed San Jose with his misguided policies. Chuck Reed owned Measure B that was a disaster.
Never shy of the limelight, Chuck is back. No one in San Jose, least of all the local media, takes him seriously; so he’s now writing in the Sacramento Bee. (See the article in the Pension News column below.)
It’s the same old tired rhetoric he used in San Jose. Once we got rid of Reed and his divisive approach, we came together with the City to tackle pensions collaboratively. The Settlement Framework in 2015 and Measure F in 2016 were smart and sustainable approaches that put the City on a healthy fiscal track to rebuild our talented workforce.
Chuck Reed got an “F” as a mayor, and he deserves the same grade as an opinion writer.
Tonight the City Council will hold a study session at City Hall at 6:00 PM in regards to police oversight and potentially expanding the role of the Independent Police Auditor.
Let me just say first and foremost that we are not a city in crisis, and our IPA model works well as it is! The political agendas of some are forcing them to find a solution in search of a problem. There is discussion of actually going to a ballot measure and spending another million dollars to increase the access of information to the IPA and his office. Yes, you heard me, another ballot measure. Does the city really want to start another battle with their police department? Your POA has been working for the past year to speak the truth about this issue and get in front of it. We will continue to be involved and update you along the way.
Click here to read The Mercury’s article about this. (See the second article in the Trials and Tribulations column below.)
Click HERE to read the memo I sent to City Council.
If you have any questions, please feel free to call my cell phone: (408) 687-0668.
Paul (Kelly) <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Craig Shuey covers our Sacramento beat where news about pensions often originates. Here’s the latest from the Sac Bee…
Pensions Will Be ‘On the Chopping Block’ in Next Recession, Jerry Brown Says
By Adam Ashton <email@example.com>
Sacramento Bee — Jan. 12, 2018
Gov. Jerry Brown this week predicted that his 2012 pension law will survive union challenges in court and blow a hole in the so-called “California rule” that has restricted changes to public employee retirement plans for half a century.
“When the next recession comes around, the governor will have the option of considering pension cutbacks for the first time in a long time,” Brown said at a news conference this week where he unveiled his 2018-19 budget plan.
Brown has been working to strike out the California rule, a precedent dating back to the 1950s that holds public agencies cannot reduce pension promises without offering workers new incentives to offset the loss of retirement income.
His office in November replaced the attorney general’s office in defending his pension law against a challenge filed by the state firefighter union. The union argues that the pension law denied benefits to employees who were promised them, including the ability to purchase “air time” that they could use to enhance their pensions upon retirement.
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It’s one of several high profile pension lawsuits that are expected to appear before the state Supreme Court this year.
Those cases have collected a cluster of appeals court rulings that have questioned the California rule. One said public workers are “entitled only to a ‘reasonable’ pension, not one providing fixed or definite benefits immune from modification.”
Brown cited that ruling when he spoke to reporters this week.
“There is a lot more flexibility than is currently assumed by those who discuss the California rule,” Brown said. “At the next downturn when things look pretty dire, (pensions) will be on the chopping block.”
The worst-case scenario for public employees would be a reduction in the rate they accrue their pensions, say advocates who want to limit the state’s pension liabilities. Potential changes would not affect pensions that current retirees already receive, unless a government agency goes bankrupt and stops paying its bills.
On Monday, unions challenging the pension law received a more favorable ruling in a separate case filed by the Alameda County Deputy Sheriffs Association. The state’s 1st District Court of Appeal held that public agencies could modify pension benefits without offering additional compensation – disregarding the California rule – but the court emphasized that changes to pensions must also be reasonable and that agencies must consider the financial burden they’d place on their workers and retirees if they renege on benefits.
Brown’s pension law required public employees hired after Jan. 1, 2013, to contribute more money toward their retirements and capped their benefits by eliminating generous benefits the state gave to public workers during the dot-com boom. Brown’s administration says the law put the state’s two largest public pension systems, the California Public Employees’ Retirement System and the California State Teachers’ Retirement System, on a path to long-term stability.
Still, both pension funds are considered seriously underfunded because they owe tens of billions of dollars more in benefits than they have on hand. Local governments and school districts, meanwhile, have been drawing attention to their rising expenses on pensions, complaining that the costs are “crowding out” their ability to fund public services.
“The rate of growth in these spending areas is not sustainable in the future and diverts revenue that could be invested in education, transportation and truly addressing the causes of our highest-in-the-nation poverty rate,” Rob Lapsley, president of the California Business Roundtable, said after Brown released his budget proposal.
The two pension funds are getting some help from the booming stock market this year. CalPERS has gained more than $30 billion since July 1, giving it a portfolio worth more than $355 billion.
• • • • •
As the East Bay Times Editorial Page Editor, Daniel Borenstein covers pension-related items for the Bay Area News Group that includes the Mercury News. This item appeared on the Op/Ed page of last Friday’s Merc…
Brown Suffers Major Setback on Statewide Pension Reform
Mercury News — Jan. 12, 2018
Gov. Jerry Brown suffered a significant legal setback this week when a state appeals court dealt a blow to hopes for meaningful pension reform in California.
The decision after five years of litigation over pension spiking could undermine key portions of legislation the governor signed in 2012 to end such abuses and help shore up retirement systems across the state.
The good news is that the decision, issued by a three-justice panel in San Francisco, probably won’t be the final word on the issue. The state Supreme Court had already agreed to hear appeals of two other cases stemming from the 2012 legislation and is expected to take the latest one too.
Each case confronts the question of how much the state can alter retirement benefits without violating past promises to workers. In the two other cases, separate panels of the same appeals court in San Francisco had upheld implementations of Brown’s legislation.
Monday’s ruling broke that momentum, showing that the road to meaningful reform is fraught with legal obstacles.
The ruling blocked a lower court decision that had stopped some of the state’s worst pension spiking in Alameda, Merced and especially Contra Costa counties. Workers there had been able to count large payments for unused leave time as income to inflate their final-year salaries on which their pensions were calculated.
Under a legal doctrine known as the California Rule, pension attorneys across the state have said that once public employees start working, their retirement benefits can never be trimmed, even for benefits they haven’t yet earned. The unalterable benefit level was considered a constitutionally protected “vested right.”
For example, a police officer who accepted the job when it included a pension equal to 3 percent of top salary for every year worked would be entitled to accrue benefits using that formula for his or her entire career.
But the costs of current benefit levels in California are strangling local government budgets and are forecast to continue rising. Without the ability to lower the rate of future pension accruals for existing employees, local governments will be forced to raise taxes or forego more public services.
While the 2012 legislative changes generally worked around the California Rule by reducing benefits for new workers, they did alter some pension-padding practices that benefited existing workers. It’s those reforms that are at issue in the three cases.
One provision eliminated “airtime,” which had allowed employees to increase their pensions by purchasing additional years of service credit at what turned out to be discount rates. Another set of provisions ended pension spiking.
Labor unions contend that, just as their pension benefit formulas cannot be reduced under the California Rule, so too were the airtime and spiking practices unalterable if they resulted in reductions in retirement pay.
The appellate courts ruled in 2016 decisions in an airtime case involving state firefighters and a Marin County spiking case that vested rights are not absolute.
So long as pension modifications are “reasonable,” the court panels said, they do not violate workers’ constitutional rights. Public employees do not have “an immutable entitlement to the most optimal formula of calculating the pension.”
Those rulings gave reformers hope that meaningful alterations to future pension accruals were also possible. But then came Monday’s ruling, involving the spiking cases in Alameda, Contra Costa and Merced counties.
While agreeing that there are limits to the California Rule, the justices in that case set a much tougher standard for changes than the appellate panel in the similar Marin County case.
In the latest decision, the justices ruled that pension benefit adjustments require “compelling” evidence that they are necessary and a showing that the pension system would otherwise have difficulty meeting its financial obligations. The justices also said that state pension law did not permit the pension spiking that had been allowed in the three counties. But they said it was nevertheless binding because the county pension systems had agreed to permit it as part of legal settlements with the unions nearly two decades ago.
A Brown spokesman said the administration is “closely reviewing the decision and considering next steps.” Anything short of a full-throated appeal to the state Supreme Court would be a concession of defeat.
THE TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS OF SAN JOSE AND THE SJPD
The headline of this Mercury News editorial from this past Sunday prompted us look at a calendar to make sure it wasn’t April 1st…
Why is Oakland Crime Down, But S.J. Crime is Up?
Mercury News Editorial — Jan. 14, 2018
Barbara Marshman, Editorial Page Editor
Bay Area crime statistics these days seem topsy turvy, which is not necessarily a bad thing.
In Oakland, violent crime plunged 23 percent between 2012 and 2017, including homicides, robberies, rapes and assault. A city that once seemed out of control is becoming less dangerous.
In East Palo Alto, which was the per-capita murder capital of America in the 1990s, last year there was only one homicide — not a street crime but a domestic incident. Families now let their kids play outside or walk to the store without fear of random gunfire. It has been a magical transformation.
In San Jose, however, crime was up last year — particularly juvenile crime, whose wild percentage increases might imply the city is overrun by rampaging teen-age Huns. As of November, police showed a 69 percent year-to-date increase in juvenile arrests for robbery, 65 percent increase for burglaries and 42 percent for overall violent crimes. Car thefts by juveniles more than doubled to 124.
The capital of Silicon Valley still is not the South Side of Chicago. The numbers of crimes remain low for a city of a million people. Oakland, with 240,000 residents, still averages 1 ½ times the amount of violent crime as San Jose.
In addition, some of the community-policing strategies that have helped Oakland and East Palo Alto get crime under control in recent years are the ones that help keep San Jose a pretty safe city. Even if it can’t officially keep its “safest big city in America” bragging rights, it is one of the safest.
There are some unnerving trends, however. The main one is a new pattern of juvenile crime sprees in the city that are not gang-related but appear to be ad hoc groups of kids committing robberies, carjacking and other offenses.
One six-hour spree in November resulted in 11 arrests — one of them an 11-year-old boy driving a getaway car after a carjacking and a number of burglaries and robberies, some involving guns. A similar rampage happened in October with different teens arrested.
Why it’s happening is unclear. San Jose Police Chief Eddie Garcia has blamed Santa Clara County policies that discourage incarcerating juveniles unless they present a public danger.
Probation Chief Laura Garnette said the county policies, which we’ve supported, are based on evidence that juvenile incarceration is the single greatest predictor of adult crime. Kids with still-forming brains don’t get better in lockups. But of all juveniles brought in for booking, 88 percent are held because of public safety concerns. It’s not a revolving door. After talks with Garcia, Garnette’s office is crunching data to test whether county leniency could be part of the problem. She doesn’t think so. Garcia still isn’t sure, but both feel good about working together.
Meanwhile, kudos to Oakland, East Palo Alto and other cities that are catching up on community policing to bring crime down. We’re confident that with more officers coming on board in San Jose, it will get back on track.
• • • • •
With help from the then-POA and a couple of police-friendly mayors, JoeMac was successful in keeping a civilian review board from wrapping its tentacles around the SJPD during his tenure from 1976 well into the 1990s. Will the current POA leadership and Chief Eddie Garcia be able to shoo it away from what may be another attempt at establishing civilian oversight of the Dept.? Reading between the lines, this article from Monday’s paper suggests the camel is getting a whiff from under the civilian review board’s tent again…
Police Oversight at Heart of Council Study
—New auditor, police and community groups will meet with council Tuesday for a wide-ranging discussion—
By Robert Salonga <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Mercury News — Jan. 15, 2018
SAN JOSE — A specially convened City Council meeting Tuesday will explore the idea of expanding civilian oversight of the San Jose Police Department, particularly when it comes to use-of-force and internal investigations.
The study session is being held largely at the behest of local civil rights advocates and members of police watchdog groups who believe that the city’s Office of the Independent Police Auditor lacks sufficient powers to hold the police force accountable.
The idea has been met with pushback from both the police brass and the officers’ union. They are wary of applying more aggressive oversight models used by cities like Oakland, Chicago and Baltimore that have historically experienced significant tension between police and residents.
“It is important to remember that any policy formulated after this study session should be founded upon facts, data, and experiences generated from the city of San Jose,” reads a letter to the council from Paul Kelly, president of the San Jose Police Officers’ Association. “All too often in discussions surrounding police and community relations, incidents or data from other parts of the country are utilized to point to problems that do not exist here in San Jose.”
Derrick Sanderlin, a leader with the faith-based coalition People Acting in Community Together, said the point of the study session is to explore proactive changes at a time when relations between San Jose police and its residents are relatively good — rather than when the police department is under fire.
“It is a great dynamic now,” Sanderlin said. “It’s the best time to make the improvements we need to make, rather than wait for something really bad to happen.”
Tuesday’s session will examine the independent police auditor system and explore the pros and cons of expanding the auditor’s reach.
Currently, the auditor’s office primarily reviews allegations and Internal Affairs investigations that are spurred by citizen complaints. But those account for only a portion of complaints lodged against officers. Department-initiated investigations — complaints lodged by officers and staff — are not reviewed by the police auditor, and officer-involved shootings are reviewed only if a complaint is filed.
Advocates for expanding the auditor’s access also want the office to be able to review use-of-force files and body-worn camera footage to allow for independent analysis and identification of systemic trends.
For its part, the police department has adopted several progressive policies and practices that address those issues. Police Chief Eddie Garcia has said he is receptive to opening up department-initiated investigations to the independent auditor, and the police department last year adopted compulsory review and a more granular analysis of officers’ use of force, no matter how minor the incident.
And just this past week, the department released use-of-force data from the past three years through a pioneering new online portal that will allow anyone to sort and analyze numerous elements of violent police encounters, including demographic information, the location of the incidents and the kind of force used.
The first report generated from the data found no significant racial disparities in the police department’s use of force. That has been challenged by community advocates, who question the reliability of the data, since it’s sourced primarily from officers’ accounts of events.
Aaron Zisser, who was appointed in the fall as the city’s independent auditor, says he has no official stance on increasing the reach of his new job.
“The goal for this study session is to educate. I’m not advocating for expanded authority. I came into the job knowing what it was,” he said. “This has been an effective office for policy and advocacy.”
To that end, Zisser says he plans to respond to officer-involved shootings in the city for on-site briefings, using a little-known access right of his position rarely invoked by his predecessors. His first such visit occurred last Tuesday, when a distressed man was shot and killed after approaching officers with and ax and an array of other blade weapons.
The independent auditor’s office was created in 1993 as a compromise between city leaders who wanted a police commission and the police union who opposed additional civilian oversight. In 1996, the city charter was amended to permanently establish the office. A city ordinance adopted in 1999 included the independent auditor on SJPD shooting review panels.
For some, it’s hard not to look at Tuesday’s study session as a proposal to expand powers, and even Zisser says he’s “ready and willing to take it on” if the city decides to amend its charter again, which would have to be done through a ballot measure.
At a PACT meeting last fall, Garcia made clear he’s against any drastic changes in the current oversight model. He has reiterated that stance, concerned that his officers who have adopted a host of new measures ranging from from implicit-bias instruction to crisis-intervention will be vexed by the demand for more amid a period when police complaints have dropped sharply over the past few years.
“If we’re going to expand oversight after everything we’ve been doing, and everything we’ve done, what we’re telling our officers is that we don’t trust them,” Garcia said. “This could make it so that for officers, the easiest way to not get scrutinized is to do nothing, and then the proactivity that keeps us safe is at risk. We have to strike a balance between accountability, transparency, and fairness to officers.”
Councilman Raul Peralez, a reserve police department officer who worked full-time as a San Jose cop before he joined the council, was also at that PACT meeting.
Heading into Tuesday’s study session, he emphasizes the need for serious study over emotional pleas.
“My hope is that we get a good understanding of what our options are,” Peralez said. “I’m looking forward to a thorough discussion.”
Staff writer Emily DeRuy contributed to this report. Contact Robert Salonga at 408- 920-5002.
• • • • •
And the results of Tuesday’s meeting are…
Should Auditor Have More Power to Investigate Police?
By Robert Salonga <email@example.com>
Mercury News — Jan. 18, 2018
SAN JOSE — For five hours, the debate at City Hall over possible expansion of civilian police oversight seesawed between pleas for faith in the city’s cops and demands for more external scrutiny.
Everyone knew there would be no decision Tuesday night, but the discussion highlighted the differences of opinion between police and some members of the community.
Steering the meeting was newly minted auditor Aaron Zisser, a former federal civil-rights attorney who tiptoed between offering a sober assessment of the IPA model — established in 1993, making San Jose a pioneer in police oversight — while tacitly extolling the benefits of increasing his office’s access to internal police misconduct probes and use-of-force records.
“Oversight can play a role in heading off a crisis,” Zisser said. “The model I see working here is to preserve what we have here, and incorporate more broader access to records which would lead to better policy recommendations.”
But Chief Eddie Garcia pushed back against expanding the auditor’s authority, saying the San Jose Police Department is not mired in scandal, has adopted a host of progressive training measures, ordered outside audits of its arrest and use-of-force practices with respect to racial distribution, capped recently by its release of use-of-force data through a public online dashboard, and revised the police duty manual to ensure school-based officers aren’t de facto campus disciplinarians.
“We can’t overlook the fact that what works best might already be here. The IPA model works here,” Garcia said. “There are absolutely police departments … who may need extensive powerful oversight to be motivated to police in a constitutionally consistent manner. San Jose is not one of those places.”
But Zisser said San Jose is “not immune” to the police-community issues more visible in other large cities.
“We’re not looking for problems,” he said. “But we’re a big city, a diverse city, and we exist in a national context.”
As it stands, the IPA office’s review powers are triggered by citizen complaints, so it only gets a snapshot of the misconduct allegations leveled against the police department. To help bolster that point, Zisser brought in Nick Mitchell, Denver’s independent monitor, and Russell Bloom, independent police auditor for BART, both of whom talked about having more robust police-records access than San Jose’s auditor. “The way this enhances our oversight work is we can analyze trends and patterns and get ahead of a problem before a crisis,” Bloom said, while acknowledging that BART police is about one-fifth the size of SJPD.
That idea of “crisis” surfaced several times over the course of the evening. Garcia noted that citizen complaints, including those involving use of force, have trended sharply downward for several years, and voiced concern over that progress being rewarded with more scrutiny.
“They’re looking for a solution to a problem we just don’t have in San Jose,” he said. “Not only are we not in crisis, we’re leading the way in being proactive. This sends a message to the police department, ‘We don’t trust you.’ ” “I am in fact taking (this) personally and so will every man and woman who wears a badge to protect the citizens of San Jose,” he added.
When Zisser remarked on a need to enshrine expanded oversight in case a future chief has different accountability leanings, Councilwoman Dev Davis said her experiences with the department give her confidence that the current progressive track will continue.
“The officers have bought in,” she said. “It’s baked into the culture.”
One resident, who identified herself as Andrea, suggested during the public comment period that complaints might be trending down precisely because of a lack of trust in police. Several other speakers pushing for more SJPD oversight were family members of Jacob Dominguez, Anthony Nunez and A.J. Phillips, men killed in officer involved shootings in recent years.
Yeme Girma, of the Campbell Seventh Day Adventist Church and a leader in the faith-based social justice coalition People Acting in Community Together, said more trust is needed to bring real comfort to marginalized communities in the city.
“Too many lives have been taken,” she said.
Frank Richardson, also a PACT leader, said that the 25-year-old IPA model in San Jose, forged from a post-Rodney King compromise between city leaders who wanted a police commission and a police union that resisted formal external oversight, “has turned stale.”
“Chief Garcia is talking about wanting to police proactively,” Richardson said. “All we’re asking is that we have a similar proactive approach to providing civilian oversight.”
Zisser said the lack of obvious turmoil in the department is “the perfect time” to have a substantive discussion over possible oversight expansion, “when cooler heads can talk.” Mayor Sam Liccardo agreed.
“This discussion is important to have when we’re not in crisis,” Liccardo said. Garcia, who gamely absorbed criticism from the public throughout the evening, took it in stride.
“We know there are always going to be concerns in any city,” he said. “We do need to be vigilant. I appreciate the discussion.”
I remember Bill Smith very well, especially from the HBRF days. (Hot buttered rum festivals at Ralph Libby’s house around Christmas time. Ralph was a dispatcher.)
My cousin is an ICU nurse at French Hospital. I asked her to look in on Bill when she had time. She said they were still planning to move him to UCLA with the hope of finding out what exactly is going on with his health. I know Betty is totally focused on Bill so thought I would share this info.
Vicki Townsend <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Vicki is the widow of the late (Retired Dispatcher) Ron Townsend.
• • • • •
I’ve attached a small paragraph for your consideration to publish. If it’s too personal, and not suitable for the Farsider, please let me know and I’ll forget about it. I am hopeful, however, that you will consider including it in the next Farsider.
Thank you for your consideration.
Russ L. Russell <email@example.com>
I have written a very different and interesting 211 Movie Script. Pursuit of the Chamelon has five retired Robbery Detectives assisting another Detective on restaurant robberies. These retired Detectives need novel nicknames and I look to you Farsider readers for input. One is already named “Shuffles,” but the other 4 lack names. Portions of the story are true, and one incident mimics the 1981 alley shooting in San Jose. The movie primarily takes place in five USA “Port” cities. I could use your help and input. Please send your novel name descriptions to: Russ L. Russell at <russlruss@Hotmail.com>. I’m in the process of “pitching” the script to some Hollywood Directors/Producers at this time.
• • • • •
I doubt you can publish this old press announcement by former President Bill Clinton because of a repeated vulgarity by George Carlin. I was reminded of this video as a result of Trump’s gaff of using a variation of the S-word and the false alarm of a nuke that had the residents of Hawaii running around in circles. Keep up the good work.
Talking Points <TalkingPoints@comcast.net>
Makes me wonder if Hillary was occupying the White House right now, would her husband be advising her about the problems that chunky North Korean leader is causing the world? Just pondering the question is all.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE DECEMBER AND JANUARY PBA BIRTHDAY BOYS FROM LAST NIGHT’S MEETING
—The PBA doesn’t meet during the month of December—
(L-R) Jim Polmanteer; Tom Mazzone; Dick Tietgens; Mike Amaral; Bill Mason; Ken Jacksteit; Guy Bernardo (partially hidden); Terry Handforth; Tim Knee (hidden); Marv Lewis; John Carr, Jr. (hidden); Ralph Percelle; Craig Clifton; Jenny Dotzler; Larry Lundberg; Pat Dwyer; Bill Mattos; Dave Hendrix; Jim Spence; and Mike Fehr. (Photo by Rodger Cripe)
TIME ONCE AGAIN FOR THE CIOPPINO (and Chicken) FEED
Hi Leroy and Bill,
We are excited to announce another great opportunity to enjoy Cioppino or, if you are not a fishy kinda person, perhaps chicken. The Cioppino Feed is on again.
Great news: MMOC has set up online registration at <www.mmoc.org> for folks who would prefer to register there.
Kim Wirht <firstname.lastname@example.org>
TIME’S GROWING SHORT FOR PBA MEMBERS — BRING ANOTHER COUPLE
TO THE VALENTINE’S DAY DINNER DANCE FOR ONLY $25
—Neighbors, Friends, Relatives, Your Choice—
Members: $25 per couple — Second Couple $25
(Maximum of one additional couple per PBA member)
$50 total for luscious Hors d’oeuvres, Open Bar, Wine on the table and Prime Rib & Salmon
Saturday, Feb. 10th
MUST RSVP by, Monday, Feb. 5th, but can pay at the door
Doors open at 6:00 — Dinner at 7:00 — Dancing to 11:00 p.m.
POA Hall, 1151 N. Fourth St.
Hors d’oeuvres aplenty
Entrees: Your choice of Salmon and/or hand-carved Prime Rib
Hosted Bar with Wine on the Tables
Dancing to your kind of music following dinner
Make checks payable to the “SJPBA” and mail to:
P.O. Box 42
San Jose, CA 95103
Or pay at the door with a prior RSVP by Monday, Feb. 5th
GREAT SHOW AND FOR AN EXCELLENT CAUSE
For more info, get in touch with Bruce Hodgkin
at 408-832-8579 or <email@example.com>
DREAM ON, CONSERVATIVES, DREAM ON…
As much as California’s conservatives might like to split from the liberal majority on California’s coastal region, it ain’t gonna happen anytime soon, if at all. But it doesn’t cost anything to dream…
New California Declares ‘Independence’ from California in Bid to Become 51st State
By Josh Hefner — USA Today — Jan. 16, 2018
The founders of New California took an early step toward statehood Monday with the reading of their own Declaration of Independence from California, a state they describe as “ungovernable.”
Their solution: Take over most of current-day California — including many rural counties — and leave the coastal urban areas to themselves.
“The current state of California has become governed by a tyranny,” the group, led in part by vice chairman Robert Paul Preston, declared in a document published online.
The split would look something like this, per the group:
“After years of over taxation, regulation, and mono-party politics the State of California and many of it’s 58 Counties have become ungovernable,” the group said in a statement, citing a “decline in essential basic services” including education, law enforcement, infrastructure and health care.
The group, organized with a council of county representatives and various committees, hopes to model their split after the state of West Virginia. That’s according to CBS, whose Sacramento affiliate filmed the reading in a sparsely filled conference room.
Claiming the authority of Article 4, Section 3 of the U.S. Constitution, the aspiring 51st state plans to convince California’s Legislature to split the state before submitting the resolution to Congress.
The effort remains, to be clear, a long shot.
A California venture capitalist named Tim Draper sought in 2014 to split the Golden State into six parts, including the “State of Silicon Valley.” It failed to make the ballot.
New California’s work with regular California’s state Legislature won’t likely start in earnest until later this year or early next year, organizers told CBS.
“We have to demonstrate that we can govern ourselves before we are allowed to govern,” Tom Reed, a founder, told the network.
TOUGH RACE COMING UP IN ARIZONA FOR THE SENATE
Like most cops, I have a soft spot in my heart for former Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio who was re-elected to office multiple times, but lost his last bid as the top lawman in Maricopa County. In his effort to win an upcoming Senate seat in Arizona, he’s going to face some tough competition in the form of current Arizona Congresswoman Martha McSally. She is a conservative politician whose decades-long career in the Air Force led her to be the first female fighter pilot to fly combat in American history.” I like Joe, but as a USAF veteran, I’ve got to pull for the retired Air Force Colonel. She’s got ovaries!
Congresswoman Announces Bid for Senate, “I’m a Fighter Pilot, And I Talk Like One”
By John Falkenberg
Conservative Tribune — Jan.13, 2018
Senator and frequent opponent of President Donald Trump, Jeff Flake has decided not to seek re-election in 2018, and a multitude of candidates from both the left and the right are working to begin their gambits to replace his seat in Arizona.
One of the most famous of the expected candidates is former sheriff Joe Arpaio, well-known in conservative circles and despised among liberals. He’s a good choice, but now he’s got some serious competition.
Meet Congresswoman Martha McSally.
McSally is a no-nonsense, conservative politician whose decades-long career in the armed forces led her to be the first female fighter pilot to fly in combat in American history, according to ABC News.
She retired from the military at the rank of colonel — no small feat.
Her campaign announcement certainly reflected her incredible career — she announced her plan to run after landing in Tucson in a World War II-era fighter craft.
“We are in a crucial time for our country,” she said during her announcement, “The security of the United States, and so much else, will be on the line in these coming years. It’s a time of big and defining choices.”
“I recently made one myself, and I wanted my friends in Tucson to be the first to know. As of today, I am a candidate for the office of United States senator from Arizona.”
Click HERE to view an embedded video of McSally announcing her run for Senate.
The video above, provided by ABC News, gives not only a pretty good impression as to what kind of candidate McSally is, but also what kind of fan base she has.
Simply put, they adore her.
I think what I like most about her — and I’ll admit it, I’m a huge sucker for military veterans running for office — is her military-grade bluntness.
“Like our president, I’m tired of PC politicians and their BS excuses,” she stated in a campaign video.
Click HERE to watch another video featuring Martha McSally.
“I’m a fighter pilot, and I talk like one. That’s why I told Washington Republicans to grow a pair of ovaries and get the job done.”
Oh, and did I mention she flew A-10 Warthogs?
If you’re someone eligible to vote in this contest, and you’re leaning toward the famous “Sheriff Joe,” I can hardly blame you. He’s backed conservatives for a long, long time.
But it sure is nice to see a race where there are multiple qualified, excellent candidates in the mix.
HELP! I SEEM TO BE STUCK IN AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE
Only in an alternate universe could someone who was convicted of disclosing highly classified information be elected to the U.S. Senate, where he/she will be privy to even more highly classified information.
Chelsea Manning Files for Senate Run in Maryland
By Emily Cochrane
New York Times — Jan. 13, 2018
WASHINGTON — Chelsea Manning, the former Army private convicted of disclosing classified information, has filed to run for Senate in Maryland, according to federal election filings.
Ms. Manning, who was found guilty of leaking more than 700,000 government files to WikiLeaks in 2013, would face Senator Benjamin L. Cardin in the Democratic primary race this year. Mr. Cardin is Maryland’s senior senator and the top Democrat on the Senate Foreign Relations Committee.
In 2012, the senator cruised to victory in the general election after winning the Democratic primary race with nearly 75 percent of the vote.
Ms. Manning, a transgender woman formerly known as Bradley Manning, received a 35-year prison term for disseminating a vast trove of government documents that included incident reports from the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and dossiers on detainees being imprisoned without trial at Guantánamo Bay, Cuba.
The sentence was the longest ever imposed in a leak case. President Barack Obama commuted it in the final days of his presidency, calling it “very disproportionate.”
While Ms. Manning, who declined to comment about her election filing, has been hailed as a hero by opponents of government secrecy, others, including President Trump, have called her a traitor to the United States. Since her release, Ms. Manning, 30, has written about free speech, civil liberties, queer and transgender rights and computer security for publications like The Guardian.
Ms. Manning moved to Maryland after leaving the military prison and filed documents with the Federal Election Commission as a Democrat, with paperwork formally processed Thursday.
Last year, her invitation to be a visiting fellow at Harvard was revoked after officials there faced a severe backlash and grew concerned over what could be viewed as an endorsement of her actions.
THIS is the first of Manning’s YouTube ads seeking support for her Senate run.
STORIES OF THE WEEK
What aisle is the Polish Sausage on?
Received from “Mean Dean” Janavice
Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream ‘racism’ these days.
A customer asked, “In what aisle can I find the Polish sausage?”
The clerk asked, “Are you Polish?”
The guy, clearly offended, said, “Yes I am. But let me ask you something: If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian? if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican? Or if I asked for some Irish whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?”
The clerk replied, “No, I probably wouldn’t.”
The guy said, “Because I asked for Polish sausage, why did you ask me if I was Polish?”
“The clerk replied, “Because this is Home Depot.”
• • • • •
From the Archives
A elderly-aged lady was sitting on a park bench in The Villages when a man walked over and sat down on the other end of the bench. After a few moments, the woman asked, “Are you a stranger here?”
He replied, “I lived here years ago.”
“So, where have you been all these years?”
“In prison,” he said.
“Why did they send you to prison?”
He looked at her and very quietly said, “I killed my wife.”
“Oh!” said the woman. “So you’re single.”
• • • • •
Remember Frank Feldman from 12 years ago?
From the Archives (Dec. 14, 2006)
A man walks into the street and manages to flag down a taxi going by. When he gets in the cabbie says, “Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank.”
Cabbie: “Frank Feldman. He’s a guy who did everything right all the time, like my coming along when you needed a cab. Things happened like that to Frank Feldman all the time.”
Passenger: “There are always a few clouds over everybody.”
Cabbie: “Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He golfed with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star, and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.”
Passenger: “Sounds like he was something really special.”
Cabbie: “There’s more. He had a memory like a computer. He could remember everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse and the whole street goes dark. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right.”
Passenger “Wow, some guy then.”
Cabbie: “Yeah, he always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams, not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake.”
Passenger: “Hmmm, there’s not many like him around.”
Cabbie: “And he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good and never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished, too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.”
Passenger: “An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?”
Cabbie: “Well, I never actually met Frank.”
Passenger: “Then how do you know so much about him?”
Cabbie: “I married his damn widow.”
THE BEST OF THE LATE NITE JOKES
Here is this week’s offering for you Anti-Trumpers mixed with a few memes you will probably want to ignore…
Jan. 10 — 16
Jan. 10: A Democratic congressman is introducing a bill that would force presidential candidates to take a mental health exam. It is called the “Too Little, Too Late Act.”
The FBI might have had an informant inside the Trump campaign. It was someone who wouldn’t draw much attention from Trump, which narrows it down to Don Jr. and Eric. So, I mean, it’s one of those guys.
Trump will be visiting San Diego this month to look at prototypes for the border wall. He says he really wants to test how strong the walls are, so he told his staff to invite the Kool-Aid man to come, too.
Steve Bannon is leaving Breitbart, but he said that he’s proud of what they’ve accomplished in the short period of time. For example, in just a few months, they managed to fire Steve Bannon.
Jan. 11: Tomorrow, President Trump will have his first physical since taking office. They’ll get off to a weird start when he eats an entire jar of cotton balls because he thinks they’re marshmallows.
You’ll know Trump eats a lot of junk food when the doctor puts his stethoscope to his chest and Trump’s heart whispers, “Help me!”
There will be another awkward moment when Trump tells the doctor he’s sexually active, and from the waiting room, Melania yells, “Fake news!”
The CEO of Domino’s Pizza announced that he is stepping down this summer. He’ll carefully pack up his office, then get home and find that all his stuff is stuck to the top of the box.
Jan. 15: On Saturday, officials in Hawaii mistakenly sent out an alert that said a missile was headed toward the island. And Trump didn’t comment until the next day. That’s classic Trump right there. I mean, the first time there actually IS fake news, he’s nowhere to be found.
Actually, Trump was pretty worried when he heard Hawaii might be in danger. He said, “Oh, my God, is Moana okay?”
I read that the worker who sent the alert has been reassigned. Yep, he’s now in charge of monitoring all active volcanos.
On Saturday the word s***hole was projected on to Trump’s D.C. hotel. It got even worse when Motel 6 sued them for copyright infringement.
Jan. 16: Today at the White House, President Trump had a meeting with the president of Kazakhstan, Nursultan Nazarbayev. Or as Trump calls him, “Heyyy… buddy.”
The results of Trump’s physical came out today. White House physician Dr. Ronny Jackson said President Trump is in excellent health. Trump thanked Jackson, and told him to say hi to his brothers, Jermaine and Tito.
I saw that Trump spent yesterday playing golf instead of commemorating Martin Luther King Jr. People were pretty upset — then they thought about what Trump would’ve said and were like, “Probably a good move.”
Meanwhile, Trump’s ex-wife is defending him, after it came out that he made racist comments last week. Trump was like, “Wait a minute — which ex-wife, and which racist comments?”
Of course, not everyone’s standing by him. In an editorial, a former Trump employee called the president “mercurial, difficult, demanding, mean, and petulant.” Trump was like, “I understood ‘mean.’”
I saw that Patriots star Rob Gronkowski taped a new PSA where he warns about the dangers of eating Tide detergent pods. Which backfired when 10 seconds into the ad, he ate a Tide detergent pod. “What’s this ad for again?”
Jan. 15: Congress is questioning Twitter about allowing extremists on their site. In response, Twitter said, “We have to, he’s the president.”
Today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day. Just to break it down for you young people, a long time ago there used to be something called “racism.”
Saudi Arabia has lifted a 35-year ban on movie theaters, and the first movie to screen publicly was “The Emoji Movie.” So the ban is back on.
North Korea and South Korea are considering having a joint women’s ice hockey team for the Olympics. Of course, when a North Korean player enters the penalty box, they’re never seen again.
Jan. 16: Miners in Africa have found a massive 910 carat diamond worth tens of millions of dollars. The diamond will go to either a museum or to Beyoncé the next time Jay-Z cheats on her.
President Trump’s doctor predicted that the president will live a long life. As a result, the doctor is now treating Melania Trump for depression.
President Trump had a physical today. After Trump’s exam, his doctor said he found “no cognitive or mental issues whatsoever.” But the doctor did say, “Keep in mind, I am a proctologist.”
The Mormon Church has picked a new leader and he’s 93 years old. Which is why they’re getting together on Friday to pick another new leader.
President Trump broke with tradition and spent Martin Luther King Jr. Day playing golf instead of performing a community service. However, many people say that any time Donald Trump’s not in the White House, he’s performing a community service.
Jan. 10: President Trump said today he would not sign a bill to replace the DACA immigration program that does not include funding for a border wall. OK, can we just tell him it’s been built already? He’s never going to Mexico to check. Just tell him it’s big and beautiful and at the ribbon cutting Hillary Clinton fell over onto the Mexico side. And then we can just finally move on.
New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie gave his final State of the State address yesterday before leaving office next week. (picture of Christie) Which means somebody is going to have some very high pants to fill.
O.J. Simpson this weekend denied long-running rumors that he is Khloe Kardashian’s real father. But then he announced his new book about his relationship with Kris Jenner called “If We Did It.”
U.S. immigration agents targeted hundreds of 7-Eleven stores today to investigate the legal status of store employees. Hey, if you’re going to investigate something at 7-Eleven, how about the hot dogs? How long have THEY been in the country?
Jan. 11: Sen. Jeff Flake said today that President Trump’s proposed border wall doesn’t need to be a wall, but more of a fence. They’ll even settle for a net or a sternly worded sign, parking cones, and if they still can’t afford it, just get some old guy who yells, “Get! Get outta here!”
According to NBC News, former White House chief strategist Steve Bannon has hired a lawyer to help him prepare to testify before the House Intelligence Committee. I’d say Bannon is starting to sweat, but I’m pretty sure he never stopped.
President Trump announced yesterday the delivery of F-52 fighter jets to Norway, despite the F-52 being a fictional aircraft from the game of “Call of Duty.” So bad news, Norway. It sounds like you’re not getting those battle carts, either.
First lady Melania Trump has added three new people to her personal White House staff. She just needs one more to make it over the fence.
Jan. 15: Well, this weekend, we learned just how much news anchors have been dying to say s***hole. “Trump said WHAT? And then I get to say it on TV? Oh, man, this job rules.”
President Trump, yesterday, defended himself over reports that he used an expletive to describe African countries, saying, quote, “I’m not a racist. I’m the least racist person you’ve ever interviewed.” Man, who else has that reporter interviewed? Just Paula Deen?
President Trump spent Martin Luther King Jr. Day at his golf club in Florida. And what better way to celebrate Martin Luther King than with the whitest thing you can do — golf at a private club that’s named after you.
The only whiter thing he could have done would be to put on some cargo shorts and listen to NPR at Whole Foods.
Jan. 16: According to a new poll, 35% of people would give President Trump an overall “F” for his first year in office. Or as Trump tweeted it, “I have been given the fifth highest grade of any president in history.”
The White House physician today gave a report on President Trump’s first physical exam and said Trump takes Propecia to avoid male pattern baldness. I guess it’s working [shows pic of Trump with windblown wild hair], because there doesn’t seem to be a pattern.
According to The Washington Post, the meeting where President Trump used an expletive to describe African countries was dominated by loud crosstalk and swearing. But on the bright side [shows pic of money-filled “swear jar”], Mike Pence made $75.
President Trump today made a surprise appearance at a Women of America panel at the White House. Said Trump, “Four, four, six, three, seven, six. All right, let’s move on to the bikini competition.”
According to a new poll, Republicans are more likely to label news they don’t like as fake, while Democrats are more likely to label news they don’t like as Fox.
Jan. 10: Congressman Brendan Boyle has proposed a bill that would require all presidential candidates to take a mental examination test. And he’s calling it the “Stable Genius Act.” Do we really need a mental examination to determine Trump isn’t a genius? We can just use spell check.
They tried to give Trump one of those tests where they show you a bunch of inkblots and you say the first thing that comes to your mind, but he kept saying: “That looks like my dad not hugging me.” “My dad not hugging me.” “Ivanka naked.” “My dad not hugging me.”
In other White House news, according to a recent article, President Trump’s son-in-law, Jared Kushner, has been asked to turn his focus to prison reform. And based on the way the Russia investigation is going, I assume he wants to make prisons way harder to get into.
President Trump had previously put Jared in charge of achieving peace in the Middle East. So, congratulations to prison reform on being the next big issue that will never be solved!
Jan. 11: After several reports that key White House officials are planning to leave the administration, Donald Trump has now asked his staff to decide by the end of the month whether they’re going to quit or stay on through the November midterm elections. They’re asking THEIR STAFF who’s going to be leaving the White House — right now, they should be asking the JUSTICE DEPARTMENT, “Who’s going to be leaving the White House?”
I don’t want to say Trump is being petty, but he said to the staff, “If you leave, just to be clear, you’re not breaking up with me, I’m breaking up with you.”
At the end of the meeting, Trump gave employees a choice. Basically, it went like this: “Listen, you guys have to decide by the end of the month whether you’re going to —” And they went, “Leave. We choose leave. Bye.”
Jan. 16: The president made some comment last week about foreign countries. So this is the point in the show where we find out what CBS will let me say when I try to repeat what the president said.
As you know, last week President Trump pleasantly referred to many foreign countries as “s***holes.” Yesterday, Trump attacked Sen. Dick Durbin for confirming what he said behind closed doors, tweeting: “Senator Dicky Durbin totally misrepresented what was said at the DACA meeting.” The most upsetting part of this tweet is not Trump’s attack; it’s that the best nickname Trump could come up with for Dick Durbin is Dicky Durbin.
He just added a “y.” That’s not the Trump we know. What happened to the Trump that came up with Lyin’ Ted Cruz and Crooked Hillary? Put some effort into it! How about Double-Crossing Dick? Or Disturbin’ Durbin?
Jan. 10: There are a lot of things to dislike about L.A.: traffic, pollution, people. But it’s important sometimes to stop and appreciate the fact that A) We don’t have to scrape ice off our windshield every morning, and B) I can wear the same pair of teal-colored dolphin shorts to work every day since 1985. I appreciate it, and I like to think my coworkers appreciate it, I really do.
At the White House, the chief of staff, John Kelly, is reportedly asking people who work at the White House whether or not they’re planning to stay on the job through the end of the year. Morale among staffers is reported to be low. Why? I have no idea. Seems like everything’s going great.
President Trump had his first Cabinet meeting of the year today, where — and you’re not going to believe this — he took time out to boast about the media’s reaction to his bipartisan meeting yesterday with members of Congress. (clip of Trump) “Got great reviews by everybody other than two networks who were phenomenal for about two hours. Then after that, they were called by their bosses, ‘Oh, wait a minute.’ And unfortunately, a lot of those anchors sent us letters saying that was one of the greatest meetings they’ve ever witnessed.” Really? A lot of those anchors sent you letters saying it was one of the greatest meetings ever? I bet the handwriting on those letters looks a lot like Kellyanne Conway’s.
Jan. 15: I assume you know that an emergency alert went out on Saturday morning. This text is something received by everyone with a cellphone at 8:07 a.m. on Saturday: “Ballistic missile threat inbound to Hawaii. Seek immediate shelter. This is not a drill.” And then they didn’t get a correction until 38 minutes later. So for 38 minutes people were seeking immediate shelter — which in Hawaii, what does that even mean? Everybody get under a Mai Tai umbrella?
People were freaking out. Although not as much as they would be in any other state. But the fact that it took them 38 minutes to get around to telling people there wasn’t a ballistic missile on the way is very Hawaii. It’s about as Hawaii as it gets.
I have to say, I was at a Walmart in Maui once. I stood in line for 43 minutes with two people in front of me. It got to the point where I was hoping a ballistic missile was on the way to put me out of my misery.
They don’t have that level of anxiety that we do. You know, usually the Hawaii emergency broadcast system is reserved for messages like “To the owner of a rusty Jeep with an ‘Aloha, B*tches’ bumper sticker, your lights are on.”
Jan. 16: The White House began enforcing a ban on smartphones and other personal communication devices for staffers and guests. From now on you have to check your phone at the White House even you’re there working all day. Guess they are worried people might use their phones to secretly find out which painting they resemble.
They are doing this to cut down on the information leaking to the press. You know the stories they say are fake? They don’t want those leaking out, because they’re not.
The cellphone ban is in effect will and it will remain indefinitely. Which is tough for the people trying to work there; earlier today, the White House staff was gathered around a rotary phone trying to play HQ Trivia. It was very sad.
But the ban doesn’t apply to everyone. The only White House staffer who didn’t surrender his phone? Donald J. Trump — the one person who really SHOULD have the phone taken away from him.
It was a big day for President Trump. Today was the live results show for his annual checkup. Trump’s doctor spoke to members of the press for about an hour today sharing the results of his first physical since taking office. The doctor said the examination went exceptionally well — which means he was able to get Trump to stop eating fried chicken long enough to take his blood pressure.
Dr. Ronny Jackson, the White House doctor, said he has no concerns about Trump’s cognitive ability. Well, that makes one of us.
He said despite the fact that he is borderline obese, Trump is in excellent health. How could he be in excellent health? When he sneezes, gravy comes out.
Donald Trump clocked in, according to the doctor, at 6’3” and 239 pounds — even though his driver’s license in New York says 6’2”… I guess he’s getting taller as he ages. It’s very common.
Jan. 16: There has been a whole lot of talk about Donald Trump’s fitness for office lately. He took a physical last Friday, and today we got the results from his doctor, Ronny Jackson. Right off the bat, the doctor broke big news: “The heart exam was normal.” So, despite all evidence, Donald Trump does have a heart.
With the president being 6’3” and 239 pounds, according to the body mass index by the Federal Health and Human Services Department Trump is overweight and just one pound shy of obesity. One pound short of being obese — that’s awfully convenient. “Listen, Doc, I feel like this wad of cash is about one pound, why don’t you take that off my hands and weigh me again?”
Anybody here drink water but wish you could pay more for it? Well, good news, folks, because the next big startup craze in Silicon Valley is companies offering consumers the chance to get “off the water grid” with something called “raw water,” which is water that is unfiltered, untreated, and unsterilized. Wow, drinking that sounds un-sane.
WEEKLY SNOPES URBAN LEGEND UPDATE
Click HERE for the most current update.
Some of the thousands of video clips we have included over the past 13 years are worth repeating, like this one where laboratory chimps that had been caged for 30 years are finally released to a sanctuary. If the actions of these animals that display near human behavior don’t begin to choke you up, you are much STRONGER than us. (3:42)
• • • • •
This clip from Alice Murphy is proof that there are few things in the feline world that are more serious than a cat with a DRINKING problem. (2:24)
• • • • •
Is this how it will begin?
• • • • •
Planning on flying anytime soon? Do yourself a favor and skip this music video UNLESS you have a fondness for well-written tunes with a lively beat. (2:55)
• • • • •
It may behoove many of you to take notice of these warning signs from the “TODAY” show that your email has been hacked. (4:41)
• • • • •
All this talk about UFOs is bunk, right? Well, maybe not. If you can force yourself to have an open mind for a few minutes, have a look and listen to THIS segment from Tucker Carlson’s show that aired on Jan. 11th. (11:02)
• • • • •
• • • • •
If you give a whit about science and space, you should find THESE amazingly sharp telephoto images of our Moon of interest. Don’t forget to wave at the ghosts of Neil and Buzz. (3:54)
• • • • •
Are any of you fans of Abba besides Don Hale. And us, of course. Perhaps you will recall spending time on the dance floor to “Dancing Queen.” If you didn’t, you missed OUT! (3:51)
• • • • •
When Eldad and Lisa from Hope for Paws rescued this little lady they soon found that the JOB wasn’t complete. (6:50)
~ ~ ~
The microchip in this little guy named Luna was an excellent investment by its owner. Without it the two might never have been reunited. Eldad and Allison wish more of their rescues had endings like THIS one. (5:47)
~ ~ ~
This final tale for the week is the tragic but happy-ending story of a little fella named Jordan who had been brutalized by its owner and thrown down a 30-foot embankment into the L.A. river. (It’s a shame that it happened to the dog and not its OWNER!) (6:28)
• • • • •
This item isn’t about Hope for Paws or a doggie rescue mission. It’s a short story about a little Chihuahua that refuses to LEAVE its owner’s gravesite. (1:33)
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Want to meet the ultimate cat lady? Don’t be shy. Step inside and say hello to her and her 1,100 feline FRIENDS. (4:11)
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• • • • •
Leave it to Comrade Kosovilka to show us what the Russian troops (we assume they are Russian) do on their off hours. Looks like a friendly group of TROOPS to us. (4:01)
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Before we leave the former Soviet Union, here is President Obama watching TV footage of an impressive military parade in Moscow. Fortunately the camera didn’t pan down and show the WET spot on Barack’s pants. (5:10)
• • • • •
• • • • •
Dave Walker says this clip should serve as a reminder that it is prudent to always wear a life jacket when you are on the water. Nor can it hurt in cases like this to rehearse an important maritime order for the rest of the crew: “JUMP!” (1:50)
• • • • •
We found this interesting. It’s an example of how the brains of some animals are hard wired. Watch how the bull in this video does not recognize anything below a certain height as an enemy worth attacking. If you were already aware of this and can explain it, then you can SLING the bull further than we can. (3:37)
• • • • •
If you are a fan of country singer and song writer Dolly Parton — and what red blooded American male isn’t? — you should find this mini documentary interesting as it COVERS her dirt poor beginnings to the mega star she is today. (6:30)
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Kudos to this high school janitor for using his ingenuity to solve a problem, says Lumpy. Watch THIS and see if you don’t agree. (2:00)
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Our fondness for flashmobs shouldn’t surprise regular readers of the Farsider, which is why we often save them for last. This one is no exception. It caught our attention because of the age of the musicians. Give them about 15 seconds to get set up, then sit back and enjoy what many people are calling these CHILD prodigies (3:33)
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Pic of the Week
He speaks the truth…
THE FARSIDER SUBSCRIPTION ROSTER as of 1/18/18
Additions and changes since the last published update (alphabetical by last name):
To receive the email address of anyone on the list — or to receive the roster with all of the email addresses — send your request to <firstname.lastname@example.org>.
Abram, Fred & Connie
Allen, Chaplain Bryan
Alvarez, Pat (Campbell)
Babineau, Dave & Cheryl
Bray, Mary Ellen
Bridgen, Betty Ruth
Brown Jr., Bill
Burroughs, (Bronson) Utta
Carr Jr., John
Carrillo, Jaci Cordes
Clark, Bill (the one who stayed)
Embry (Howsmon), Eva
Foulkes [Duchon], Louise
Gonzalez, D. (formerly D. Avila)
Guido, Jr., Jim
Guido, Sr. Jim
Hare, Caren (Carlisle)
Harnish, Mary (Craven)
Horton, Debbie (McIntyre)
Howsmon, (Jr.) Frank
Howsmon (Sr.), Frank
Hunter, Dick (via daughter Kim Mindling)
Inami, Steve & Francine
Johnson, Tom & Fran
Klein, Lou Anna
Leonard (Lintern), Lynda
Muldrow, Mark “Mo”
O’Carroll, Diane (Azzarello)
Perry (Cervantez), Martha
Rappe (Ryman), Bonnie
Reyes (Buell), Cindy
Schenini (Alvarez), Joanne
Taves, Phil & Paula
Terry, Glenn & Maggie
Vallecilla, Ernie & Peggy
Van Dyck, Lois
Williams [Durham], Lanette
Windisch Jr., Steve