December 19, 2013
Mattos, Editor and Publisher
Leroy Pyle, Webmaster
The Farsider is an independent publication that is not
affiliated with the San Jose Police Benevolent
Assn. The SJPBA has allowed the Farsider to be included on its web site solely
for the convenience
of the retired San Jose Police community. The content of this newsletter does
not represent or reflect
the views of the San Jose Police Benevolent Association's Board of Directors or
recent I.D. card photo
Born Nov. 18, 1929
Appointed Oct. 22, 1953
Retired March 9, 1985
Died Dec. 13, 2013
Lyle succumbed to cancer of the brain shortly after
9:00 a.m. this past Saturday, Dec. 14th. He died peacefully with family members
at his side at his daughter's residence in San Jose. Lyle and his wife Bee, who
passed away on April 13th of this year, had been living in Penn Valley since
shortly after his retirement, but he has recently been living with his daughter
in San Jose so he could receive treatment at Good Sam.
Hank Schriefer, who spoke with Lyle's daughter last Sunday, said the family may
plan a celebration of life for both Bee and Lyle sometime after the holidays,
despite Lyle's wishes that there be no memorial service or funeral for him.
We'll include an obituary in a future Farsider if Lyle's son and daughters
choose to have one published.
Following is a letter from last June that Lyle sent to family members and close
friends, which included Hank. We received permission from Lyle through Hank to
include it in the June 6, 2013 Farsider…
Dear Family and Friends:
My last health report as posted indicated all was well, the tumor had been
removed and that I was on my way to recovery. This was published prior to the
pathology report being returned to my doctor. The report that came later
revealed I have cancer of the brain, that the problem is terminal, and that the
cancer is impossible to remove or be stopped.
The condition is called GBM. It's deadly and persistent regardless of whether
the tumor is removed. Microscopic cancer cells will continuously prevail and
never be eliminated. The survival rate average is around 15 months. Some have,
of course, responded to a combination of chemo and radiation for longer periods
of time with a quality of life to be savored.
It is my intent and sole purpose in life to seek out the treatment and hope for
a successful result. A close friend researched the information I provided and
came up with a very informative pamphlet that covers GBM, from discovery to
treatment and potential results. It is attached to this e-mail should you be
interested. (See footnote.)
This devastating news is not all negative. Sometimes we go through life without
the opportunity to indicate how much we care about one another, or the joy and
happiness that friendships bring. This opportunity has now been provided, and I
am grateful it has come about.
So dear friends, please accept our most sincere appreciation to have each and
every one of you who have entered and brought joy and happiness to our lives
over these long and special years.
We love you all.
Lyle & Bee Hunt
Ed. — As noted above, Bee
had passed away a couple of months before Lyle wrote this letter. This message
from Harry Mullins was received on the same day we learned of Lyle's passing
• • • • •
I included you in the fraternity notice on the death of retired Captain Lyle
Hunt and have attached a few photos I have of him from the Fraternity archives.
Feel free to use any of them if you wish.
Lyle was one of my heroes. As
an alumni of the SJSU Judo team, Lyle had practice privileges and often came in
to work out with us guys. As a young member of the Judo team I have fond
memories of being tossed around like a rag doll by Lyle. Once I picked myself up
he always took time to explain the technique to me, and then toss me again; all
in all it was great fun.
I never had the opportunity to work directly for him on the PD, but we
interacted now and then on some issues. I always saw him as a real professional
who gave his best to police works just as he did to Judo. He was a good man and
a great role model.
May he rest in eternal peace with the good Lord smiling upon him.
Harry Mullins #1361
WHO ARE THESE
STRANGE LOOKING REINDEER?
—Watch them dance to the
Leroy has worked his magic again, and your job, should you decide
to accept it, is to determine the identities of these retirees dressed up like
wusses in reindeer costumes in the video below. They are all well known and are
regulars at the monthly PBA meetings. Because we are in a charitable mood, we'll
provide you with the initials of their first and last names, but not in any
particular order. Good luck.
BW, SW, RS, CR
The race to become the next
Mayor of San Jose has begun. Five current San Jose Council members (ALL Reed
Supporters) have announced their intentions to lead San Jose once Chuck Reed is
termed out next year. In addition, former San Jose Vice-Mayor and current Santa
Clara County Supervisor Dave Cortese also want to lead our city.
The choice before us and the voters could not be any starker.
San Jose cannot afford the
next 4 or 8 years with Constant, Liccardo, Nguyen, Herrera or Oliverio in
charge. When it comes to protecting our neighborhoods from crime, all one has to
do is look at this Mercury News article
to see that the failed policies of these politicians have decimated our ability
to protect our neighborhoods from crime.
The choice is clear. There is only one candidate
running who can turn things around. Supervisor Dave Cortese.
Dave has the experience to
manage the City budget in a responsible manner and improve public safety. Dave
has an extensive business background and knows how to create jobs and meet a
payroll. Before being elected in San Jose and becoming a County Supervisor, Dave
was an elected Trustee for the East Side Union High School District.
To put it succinctly, he is the only adult in the room and San Jose needs a new
You shouldn't think that Dave will be a pushover when it comes to dealing with
us or with City workers. As a County Supervisor, Dave supported seeking over
$250 million in concessions from County workers. Those concessions were
necessary to balance the County budget. It was the manner in which Dave and the
County Board of Supervisors sought those concessions that sets Dave apart from
the Council members running for Mayor.
Dave Cortese worked with County workers on creative solutions that protected
services and reduced employee costs in a fair manner. He believes in the
collective bargaining process and will work to bring our City together. This is
the type of leadership San Jose needs.
The POA has endorsed Dave Cortese and will support him and his candidacy. The
POA's strength is you, the membership, as well as your families and friends.
Together, we have tens of thousands of people who want to see our City and the
SJPD restored to greatness. Dave Cortese is the only one who can do it.
He needs our help. I am asking all of you to contribute
to Dave's campaign. The first round of fundraising ends on December 31, 2013.
This is an important gauge of a candidate's viability. Please go to the
following website to contribute now or go the POA and fill out an envelope to
enclose your check made out to "Cortese for Mayor 2014". To ensure your privacy,
you may use the POA address when contributing: 1151 N. 4th St., San Jose, CA
The contribution limit is
$1,100 per person. Here is a copy of my check so that you know I'm not asking
you to do something I haven't done.
I don't expect anyone to
give that much. I know that money is tight for everyone, especially during the
holiday season. Any amount you can give will help make Dave our next Mayor. You
do not have to be a resident of San Jose to give. Please forward this to your
family members and friends. Ask them to help Dave turn our City around.
San Jose can't afford 8 more years of this...
THE TRIALS AND
TRIBULATIONS OF SAN JOSE AND THE SJPD
Once upon a time the SJPD could boast one of the lowest crime
rates in the country, quite a feat when one considers that the Dept.
accomplished the stats with one of the lowest cops-per-capita ratios of any
major city in the U.S. Back then the "L" on the forehead could have stood for
"Lowest," as in Lowest crime rate. In toady's jargon, it stands for "Loser" when
applied to San Jose.
To say that the SJPD of today is vastly different from the one
most of us remember is a gross understatement. While San Jose's crime rate may
still be lower than San Francisco's and Oakland's, that's hardly anything to
brag about. Have a look at this story from Tuesday's paper and the Mercury News'
editorial that follows...
S.J. Crime Rate Exceeds That
of State, Nation
plummet, while emergency response times more than double—
By Mike Rosenberg
Mercury News — Dec. 17, 2013
SAN JOSE — Just how bad has
crime gotten in San Jose? Once known as America’s Safest Big City, the capital
of Silicon Valley has a higher crime rate than both California and the United
States, while the city’s police force is catching half as many criminals as it
did just a few years ago.
That’s according to a new analysis by the city’s independent auditor, which also
found the city was clearing a far lower percentage of crimes than the average
U.S. city and had seen police response time for some emergency calls more than
double in eight years.
The new data come as the six major candidates for mayor each jockey to make
public safety their top priority heading into the wide-open June primary. And
police Chief Larry Esquivel, sworn in last week, confronts a department with low
morale as officers continue to flee for better-paying jobs elsewhere.
“What we’re seeing is the effect of 10 years of skyrocketing costs” for police
officers, Mayor Chuck Reed said of the depleted force. “I believe it has an
impact on the crime rate — I think we’re seeing that in the deterioration of
services. We need more officers.”
Among the findings from auditor Sharon Winslow Erickson’s annual report:
• San Jose’s major crimes rate was 35 percent below the U.S. and California
averages a decade ago. But last year, it climbed to 3,278 major crimes per
100,000 residents, 3 percent above the California average and 1 percent above
the U.S. average, and higher than Los Angeles and San Diego.
• Police made about 17,000 arrests last year, down from roughly 36,000 in 2007.
• Response times for Priority Two emergency calls, such as attempted rapes and
gang disturbances, have shot up from 8.2 minutes in 2005 to more than 20 minutes
• While the average U.S. police department solves nearly half its major cases,
San Jose’s clearance rate on major crimes has fallen to 30 percent.
San Jose’s crime rate is still far lower than those of San Francisco and
Oakland. And an unusually large share of San Jose’s crimes are burglaries,
vehicle thefts and other property crimes, while its violent crime rate is still
lower than Los Angeles and San Diego.
Several mayoral candidates are
vying to recapture San Jose’s oft-boasted “safest big city” award, bestowed by
independent groups until 2006.
The politics are tricky, however, as voters want both crime and taxes to stay
To balance its budget, the city imposed a 10 percent
pay cut for police officers, and voters approved city employee pension cutbacks
last year. But San Jose has lost or laid off hundreds of officers, and its
active duty force has dropped to about 920 officers. Erickson said the dwindling
police force has likely contributed to the recent sharp drop in arrests.
The City Council last week approved a 10 percent pay restoration for police
officers, while the Police Officers Association union is fighting the pension
changes in court.
“Every (mayoral) candidate
will fall over themselves to tell voters how they will restore staffing in the
Police Department,” said one mayoral candidate, Councilman Sam Liccardo. “The
truth is that none of us will. It’s going to take a lot of time no matter who is
in office — the question is, ‘What are we going to do in the meantime?’ ” Santa
Clara County Supervisor Dave Cortese, the union-backed mayoral candidate, wants
the city to spend more on its employees to beef up the police force and increase
morale. Termed-out Reed’s five City Council allies running to replace him — Pete
Constant, Rose Herrera, Liccardo, Madison Nguyen and Pierluigi Oliverio — have
backed the more moderate approach officials have taken in recent years, saying
controlling employee cost is vital to keeping services, including police,
“We can talk all we want about rebuilding the Police Department, but the reality
is, if we don’t have the financial resources to do so, we’re not going to do any
meaningful reform,” said Nguyen, a strong backer of pension reform.
But while voters have preached fiscal restraint in the past, now they are
increasingly aware of the police problems, too.
A new city-sponsored scientific survey of 219 San Jose residents, cited in the
report, found that 27 percent of respondents had a member of their household who
was a victim of crime in the past year, up from 12 percent each of the prior two
years. Favorability ratings for the Police Department also fell from 61 percent
two years ago to 51 percent now, while fewer people said they felt safe around
town and in their own neighborhoods.
Among the candidates’
ideas: Constant wants to spend a bigger portion of the budget on police;
Liccardo favors implementing predictive policing software; Nguyen is seeking to
re-establish the burglary unit; and Herrera wants more administrative staffers
to free up officers for field work.
“I don’t think San Jose can take for granted that it’s always going to be a safe
city,” Herrera said. “It takes a lot of work.”
• • • • •
The editorial in today's
paper addressed the issue of the auditor's report and the problem with having an
understaffed police department...
Crime Report Will Fuel S.J.
Editorial — Dec. 19, 2013
San Jose auditor Sharon
Erickson’s report on public safety this week was as neutral and objective as can
be. But it’s going to be the most quoted document in the political arena — which
is the polar opposite of objective — in the 2014 campaign to succeed Chuck Reed
as mayor of what used to be the safest big city in America.
The report both quantified and clarified — Erickson’s forte — a spike in crime
and a plunge in arrests over several years. It was an eye-opener because, while
we knew crime was up generally, the once comparatively safe San Jose now has a
worse record than the state or nation in numbers of crimes per capita and the
percentages solved. It is still safer by far than San Francisco and Oakland, and
it has far lower rates of major crimes than Los Angeles and San Diego. But
burglaries, which are up everywhere, have really soared here. And this is a
crime that, while nonviolent, makes people feel unsafe and vulnerable.
Reactions to the report go in two directions. One is to look back and ascribe
blame, generally, to Reed’s wing of the City Council, which pursued pension
reform to save tax dollars through a ballot measure that is now mired in the
courts. The other is to look ahead to the solution: How to hire more cops to
return to the levels of patrols, response times and investigations that once
kept the city safer.
This is where it gets complicated.
There is not enough revenue today to support a police force of the size the city
had five years ago without eliminating other services people say they want or
changing long-standing policies or practices locked into labor contracts, such
as the number of firefighters required per truck.
For 10 years San Jose has seen its cost per employee soar, largely because of
pension costs, while the number of employees has plunged. Well before the Great
Recession, the city was cutting services every year to balance budgets, getting
to police layoffs only after many other departments were cut to the bone.
Now some are saying the city never should have asked police officers to take a
10 percent pay cut, like other city employees, or pressed for dramatic pension
reform. But the only alternatives proposed at the time either pushed today’s
debts onto future residents or otherwise used budgetary smoke and mirrors.
Just restoring the 10 percent pay cut to police officers, with a little extra,
as agreed in the new union contract, will send the city into deficit once again
after 2015 if there is no surge in revenue or cut in other costs. And that’s
without restoring the pay cuts to other departments.
Citizen groups are proposing various reforms to free up more money for
essentials such as police, libraries and public parks — all of which have public
safety implications. For example, libraries offer a safe haven and learning
environment for kids after school; when they’re closed, kids on the street are
more prone to getting into trouble or becoming victims of crime. But few if any
of the cost savings, like that firefighter manning rule, can be achieved
quickly. The alternative for quick action is a temporary tax, but if that’s what
residents want, they’re going to have to persuade a reluctant mayor and council
majority to put it on the ballot and to campaign for it.
In January, the mayor and council begin work on the 2014-15 budget in earnest,
surveying residents for priorities and inviting participation in meetings and
workshops. Erickson’s report sets the stage for a lively debate, and candidates
for mayor and council will be jumping in with their answers. But key decisions
about priorities will be made this winter and spring, well before the June
primary. If you care about public safety, taxes, or other aspects of city
services or finances, this is the time to get engaged.
The San Jose auditor’s report showing increased crime in recent years will
enliven the mayoral debate, but voters need to educate themselves on the budget
to decide on remedies.
Last Week's Poll
For the most recent Rasmussen Reports releases, click here:
Another great job on the Farsider! The flash mob in Russia, the Japanese dancer,
and the Boeing 747 braking test were great. In the spirit of Christmas, could
you include in next week's Farsider the Elvis "Blue Christmas" song with Martina
McBride that you have included a number of times in the past?
To re-run the "Blue
Christmas" song featuring The King and Martina was easy to find. All I had to do
was copy and paste this Mail Call item from last year's Farsider. Take note of
who it was from...
Dec. 7th, 2012
Can you dig up Elvis and the female country western singer singing Blue
Christmas and run it again in the Farsider? Not a big deal if you can't, but I
was amazed at how they did it.
Our NFL referee is referring to the following
3-year-old Farsider item of Elvis and Martina McBride teaming up together. Keep
in mind that what you are seeing is an illusion as Martina was only 11 years old
when Elvis died in 1977.
~ ~ ~
(From the Dec.
24, 2009 Lighter Side column)
Raise your hand if you were among those who thought last week's
video of Elvis and Martina McBride teaming up to sing "Blue Christmas" was real.
I'm referring to this...
As I said, what you were watching was an illusion. It's an
example that in this era of electronic gadgetry you should never automatically
assume that what you see on TV or on your computer is reality. This USA Today
article makes that point...
Elvis, Martina McBride Team Up
for 'Blue Christmas'
By Brian Mansfield, Special for USA Today
Martina McBride was just shy
of 2 when Elvis Presley filmed his 1968 "comeback" TV special. This year, the
country singer steps back in time 40 years to join the King of Rock 'n' Roll in
a video for Blue Christmas.
The effect is similar to Celine Dion's American Idol duet with Presley on "If I
Can Dream" in 2007, but producer George Flanigen says the process used for the
illusion was entirely different.
"They took Elvis out of the '68 special and put him on the Idol stage," he says.
"We were taking Martina to the '68 special."
The posthumous collaboration also appears on Elvis Presley Christmas Duets, a
new album that pairs Presley with singers such as Carrie Underwood, Amy Grant
and Olivia Newton-John.
In the original footage — the only existing video of Elvis performing a
Christmas song — a leather-clad Presley appears with his band on a small stage
at the center of a studio audience. In the video, McBride walks out of the
audience and sits next to him.
"There's a spot between (guitarist) Scotty Moore and Elvis that's open, like
somebody should have been sitting there," says Flanigen. "We're like, 'We could
probably figure a way to put her with Elvis.'
"We scoured the footage and picked shots of Elvis throughout the whole special
to be able to put them together. There are shots where he and Martina share the
frame, where he looks over at her, where she looks back at him and sings and
McBride filmed her parts in front of a green screen. "It took four weeks" to
piece together, Flanigen says.
• • • • •
Talk about coincidence! Sherry and I just this morning returned from Pearl
Harbor after doing a week of volunteer restoration work on the USS Missouri to
find the story on the guns from the Arizona and the Missouri. We spent the night
of Dec. 6th aboard the Mighty Mo and attended the ceremonies at the Arizona on
the 7th. Talk about a powerful experience. Senator Max Cleland was the keynote
speaker and there was not a dry eye in the house. When he was finished he
received a long standing ovation.
The guns from the Arizona are actually 14 inch while the Missouri guns are 16
inch. All of the guns are still aboard the Missouri, so the gun shown in the
video may have been a spare, or possibly a 'shot out' original. The 14-inchers
were removed from the grounded Arizona and installed on the Iowa in 1943.
Restoration is hard work as anyone who has worked on anything that floats on
salt water knows. The experience is available through Road Scholar, and we
highly recommend the program!
By the way, they wouldn't let me mess with the 16-inch guns, but I did get to
work on one of the 5 inch turrets!
There is a very good
reason why Ken wasn't allowed to work on the 16-inch guns. An inside source told
us that when Ken was vetted for acceptance as a volunteer, the people in charge
of the project found this video that we highlighted in the Dec. 10, 2009
Farsider. Is it a surprise that he was kept away from the 16 inch guns? You be
carefully and you can see smoke from the cannon ball's impact on the upper ridge
of the mountain…
This is a clip of the cannon firing in slow-motion...
• • • • •
Subject: Grand Ole Lady at Christmas
I had heard about this picture taken by Gerald Elkins. Today I received it and
wanted to share it with you'll. Stay warm, slow down and enjoy the day.
While the subject of the
message may relate to the image above, it wouldn't be a stretch to refer to
Alberta as one of the "Grand Ladies of the SJPD." It's always a delight to hear
from folks like her, even if it is normally once a year. From all of us here on
the left coast, Alberta, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Ditto to the rest
of you who are scattered around the country.
• • • • •
Via our "Vintage San Jose Police Facebook Page," Roy Sanfilippo and I agree that
the Officer standing along side the 1957 Police Car does not resemble George
Payton -- short and stocky in photo vs tall and slender as we remember him. Of
course George could have grown taller and thinner in his later years. As to the
color of the '57 Chevy, Police patrol cars were a solid dark blue circa 1955-56
as I recall. The doors were painted white when the 'Vintage' Traffic Division
was integrated into the Patrol Division. In the attached photo (probably taken
in the early to mid 1960s), a tall and slender George Payton stands on the left
with George Cannell and Don DeMers. Police Chief Ray Blackmore is seated at his
As John Carr
Jr. of the SJPD Historical Society noted in last week's Mail Call column, two
retirees identified the officer standing next to the '57 Chevy as George Peyton.
Does the officer in the photo appear "short and stocky?" It's a subjective call.
(Clear up this mystery for us, George. You receive the Farsider. Is it you?)
• • • • •
I dare you to publish this video in the Farsider. It's about a woman on welfare
who tries to justify the food stamps and money she receives, even though she and
her husband can work.
(Name withheld by request)
I have no problem
passing this along. Here's the setup. A 32-year-old welfare recipient called in
to a talk show at an Austin (TX) radio station in which the discussion was about
entitlements. To be honest, she makes a good argument why she doesn't feel
guilty about living off the working class. But here's the problem: When 51
percent of the electorate feels the way she does — and we're pretty close to
getting there — America can kiss its overly generous ass goodbye. Here's the
SCHEDULE FOR THE REST OF 2013
Dallas at Washington — Monday, Dec. 22nd
Kansas City at San Diego — Sunday, Dec. 29th
THE HISTORY OF THE
SJPD SHALL NOT BE FORGOTTEN
FAMILIAR WITH THE
"SHOP WITH A COP" PROGRAM?
It's refreshing to see something positive about the SJPD in the
paper for a change. Not only did the story mention retiree Darrel Cortez and
include a photo of retired Sgt. Aubrey "Bird" Parrott who continues to volunteer
as a Reserve, the article also identified SJPD's new Asst. Chief. That we've
never even seen his name before is a sad testament about how old and out of
touch we are. Then again, we hadn't heard about the "Shop With a Cop" event
either until we saw this story...
‘Shop With a Cop’ Puts Smiles
— Dec. 15, 2013
Whenever I have the
opportunity to interact with law enforcement, it’s so much better when the cops
are smiling. And there were smiles to spare Thursday morning when I stopped by
the Target store on Coleman Avenue in San Jose to see this year’s “Shop With a
There were about 80 members of a dozen law enforcement agencies at the store,
which had its parking lot filled with police cruisers and even an imposing,
armored “bearcat” belonging to the city’s MERGE unit that brought Santa Claus.
It was not the day to try your hand at breaking into cars.
Parrott, a retired sergeant and reserve officer with the
San Jose Police Department, greets fellow officers participating
in "Shop With a Cop" as they bring purchases to the cash registers
at the Target store on Coleman Avenue in San Jose on Thursday.
Inside the store, the
officers — from the San Jose Police Department, California Highway Patrol, the
Santa Clara County Sheriff’s Department, plus departments in Campbell, Redwood
City, Milpitas and many other communities — were paired with 50 low-income
students from San Jose’s Santee neighborhood to shop with a gift card, courtesy
of Shop With a Cop and Target’s Heroes & Helpers program. There were athletes
helping out, too, including players from the San Jose SaberCats and San Jose
San Jose Police Chief Larry Esquivel , who was there with just-appointed
Assistant Chief Edgardo Garcia , said a couple of officers were escorting one
girl who kept picking out clothing and other practical items to give to her
family. They didn’t need orders from the chief to get her directed to the toy
aisles to pick out something fun for herself.
Darrell Cortez , a retired San Jose officer who serves as Shop With a Cop
Silicon Valley’s executive director, said there’s never an issue getting law
enforcement to participate, with many showing up on their day off or after a
long night shift.
“This time of year, it’s very important because poverty never ends, and the ones
who suffer the most are the children,” Cortez said. For many of these kids, he
added, it’s their first interaction with a uniformed police officer. And a
smiling one at that.
URBAN LEGEND UPDATE AS OF DEC. 14, 2013
The facts behind the legends, information and
misinformation that has or may show up in your inbox
• Misheard lyrics to Christmas songs are immortalized as 'mondegreens.'
• Were Dr. Seuss and Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. college classmates and fraternity
• Will reversing your PIN at an ATM summon help if you're being robbed?
• German and British front-line soldiers sang carols,
exchanged gifts, and played soccer during a World War I Christmas truce.
• Image shows Salvation Army bell ringers posing with a sign reading 'Gays
• Did rapper Kanye West proclaim: 'I am the next Nelson Mandela'?
• Did the Obama administration 'snub' the funeral of former UK prime minister
Margaret Thatcher but send a delegation to Hugo Chavez's funeral?
• Has the White House decreed that its 2013 Christmas trees will be referred
to as 'Holiday trees'?
• Video shows holiday lights in Brighton that incorporate rude images and
• A woman stuck to a toilet seat provides a physician with an opportunity for
the perfect bon mot.
• Does the National World War II memorial omit the words 'So help us God'
from an FDR speech?
• Nelson Mandela's death prompts recirculation of a
quote commonly misattributed to him about 'Our deepest fear.'
• Don't forget to visit our Daily Snopes page for a collection of odd news
stories from around the world!
Worth a Second Look
• Does the exclamation 'holy smoke' derive from the burning of the ballots
used to elect a Pope?
Still Haunting the Inbox
• Check out our 25 Hottest Urban Legends list to keep abreast of what's
circulating in the on-line world.
• Visit our Top Scams page for a list of schemes
commonly used by crooks to separate the unwary from their money.
THE LIGHTER SIDE &
OTHER ODDS AND ENDS
Merry Christmas, and feel free to click on a reindeer. In fact,
click on all of them in no particular order. If there is an issue with this
seasonal greeting, it's that Santa and his critters don't know when to stop. So
we suggest you make it stop and move on to the next item if you happen to
glance at your watch and realize you've been watching this animation for six
• • • • •
Large or Full Screen preferred.
• • • • •
While there has been a lot
of criticism about 3-D printers because they are capable of producing guns,
there is another side of the story. Look what it's done for this handicapped
kid. (3 Mins.)
• • • • •
enthusiasts should enjoy this video that is beginning to catch fire on the
Internet, so grab your barf bag, hop aboard and enjoy the experience of
participating in a mock aerial battle. The make-believe melee took place at the
Kadena Air Force Base on Okinawa. (10 Mins.)
• • • • •
You all know what a PAR
Course is for people who like to stay in shape, right? Well here's one for
bicycles and their riders. It includes some amazing footage that may have you
asking "How did they do that?" There's little question that these guys are
arguably the best in the world at what they do. (5 Mins.)
• • • • •
I never had the opportunity
to bond with my dad like the father and son in this short video. I'm thinking it
might have had something to do with the fact that my pop was a career Marine,
but that's just a guess. I know for sure he never wore his hair like these guys.
• • • • •
Dirk Parsons calls this
amazing animation. We call it a preview to "Frozen," a 3-D Disney movie that you
will want to take your grandkids to see. Hint: It's playing now.
Click on this link for a list of local (San Jose area) theaters
• • • • •
It's time to
bring back the Ross Sisters from the April 2, 2009 Farsider for an encore
performance. What they do starting at the 1 minute mark is short of amazing. No,
correct that, it IS amazing. The hotshots of today who think their break dancing
is remarkable should take a lesson from these (then-) young ladies. The clip is
from the 1944 film "Broadway Rhythm." (4 Mins.)
Click here for more info:
• • • • •
fake signer at Nelson Mandela's televised funeral. Did anyone besides Leroy and
I happen to catch this awkward moment?
If that wasn't bad enough, this is what took
place a minute later...
• • • • •
Sometimes it does take a
at NASA built a gun specifically designed to launch standard 4 pound dead
chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle,
all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea was to simulate the frequent
incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the
French engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the
windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun
was sent to the French engineers.
When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled out of
the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens,
blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's backrest in two,
and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin like an arrow shot from a bow.
The horrified French engineers sent NASA the disastrous results of the
experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the U.S
scientists for suggestions.
NASA responded with a one-line memo: "Defrost the chicken."
• • • • •
It's not enough that PBA President Dave Wysuph
simply apologized for submitting these "Puns for the Erudite," he ought to be
hog tied, dunked in honey and left in a bear-infested forest…
• King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with
the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most
valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the
pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. Croesus said, "I'll give you 100,000 dinars for
it." "But I paid a million dinars for it," the King protested. "Don't you know
who I am? I am the king!" Croesus replied, "When you wish to pawn a Star, makes
no difference who you are."
• Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers.
Unfortunately, all the Swiss league records were destroyed in a fire, which
means we will never know for whom the Tells bowled.
• A man rushed into a busy doctor's surgery and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm
shrinking!" The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down. You’ll just have to
be a little patient."
• Back in the 1800s the Tate's Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce
other products, and since they already made the cases for watches, they used
them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so bad that people often ended
up in Canada or Mexico rather than California. This, of course, is the origin of
the expression : "He who has a Tate's is lost!"
• An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After
a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide
and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew, and swallow one inch of
the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the
chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, "The thong is ended, but the
malady lingers on.”
• A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name
missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local
civic official, who apologized profusely saying, "I must have taken Leif off my
• There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deerskin, one slept on an elk
skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The
first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had
twin boys. This just goes to prove that.... the squaw of the hippopotamus is
equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two
hides. (Some of you may need help with this one).
• A skeptical anthropologist was recording South American folk remedies with the
assistance of a tribal elder who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern
were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed
his doubts, the elder looked him in the eye and said, "Let me tell you, with
fronds like these, you don't need enemas."
• King Kamehameha’s brother would have been the real heir to the Hawaiian
kingdom. He wanted to live in something more pretentious than the grass huts
that everyone else on the islands lived in, so consulted his royal advisers who
told him that the kings in Europe had royal palaces and royal thrones. So the
king had a two-story grass hut constructed, plus two thrones. There wasn’t room
for two thrones on the first floor, so he had the second throne stored on the
second floor. The weight of the throne was too much, and it crashed down and
killed the king. People who live in grass houses shouldn’t stow thrones.
• Alexander the Great was known for his military exploits. Historians have
wondered how he was able to coordinate his forces to attack at the proper time,
without modern communications. Few know that he had invented the first
wristwatches, used by his commanders to coordinate their attacks. Alexander
would tie a piece of cloth around the wrist of each of his commanders. Each
cloth was soaked in a mixture of berry juices that would change color at the
appropriate times. These timepieces were known as Alexander’s rag time-bands.
~ ~ ~
Before the now-super sweet, hog-tied PBA
president is placed in a van and transported to bear country, someone needs to
capture Bruce Morton and inflict the same punishment on him for sending in this
list he calls "Puns for those with a slightly higher IQ"…
• Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
• A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
• Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
• Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
• Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death.
• A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
• A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
• Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
• Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
• Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
• Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
• When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
• A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
• What's the definition of a will? It's a dead give away.
• Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
• In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
• She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
• A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
• If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed
• With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
• The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
• You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
• Local Area Network in Australia is known as the LAN down under.
• Every calendar's days are numbered.
• A lot of money is tainted. Taint yours and taint mine.
• A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
• He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
• A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
• Once you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
• Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
• Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
• Acupuncture is a jab well done.
(Thank God this over!)
• • • • •
Hey golfers, Dewey Moore
wants you to watch this video and see if you can recognize any of your golfing
buddies. Or perhaps yourself. (6 Mins.)
• • • • •
Modifying an SUV so that it
can be controlled from the back with a dog at the wheel seems like a lot of
trouble to go through just for a few laughs, but that's what happened here based
on this clip sent in by Lumpy. (2 Mins.)
• • • • •
version of the Poodwaddle World Clock we received from Robillard will provide
you with more stats than the mind can assimilate. It will give you up-to-date
stats on the population, mortality, illness, environment, energy, food, economy
and crime in addition to the time and date all over the world. Perhaps its
scariest feature is that it also includes a Life Expectancy Test that will
estimate how long you will live. To access this, click on the "Life" button on
the top right if you dare.
We captured the image below at 9:08 p.m. last night (Wed.). Clicking on the link
now will tell you how many people have been born since then.
• • • • •
Ever heard of Ant Hill Art?
Neither have we. That's why we thought we would include this fascinating clip
that thousands of fire ants sacrificed their stinging little lives for. (Don't
even think about getting on our case, PETA.) (3 Mins.)
• • • • •
Speaking of tiny critters,
this week's educational video sucks, literally. That's because it's one of those
excellent TED presentations that teach viewers something about the world and its
plants and animals most people didn't know before. This clip is titled "The
Loathsome, Lethal Mosquito." If you watch it we guarantee you will learn
something. And if your arms or legs start to itch, it's probably your
imagination. (3 Mins.)
• • • • •
Have you ever thought of
getting a platypus as a pet? Neither have I, but there's something I find
appealing about an animal that is so ugly it's cute. Reminds me of a girl I
dated in high school. That's not to say she had the face of a platypus, I
meant…oh hell, never mind. (1 Min.)
• • • • •
What's all the hoopla about
folks having trouble signing up for Obamacare? It doesn't look like a big deal
to Jay Leno. (34 Secs.)
• • • • •
Speaking of felines, what
is it with cats and Christmas trees? You seldom see dogs acting like these furry
spoiled brats. (3 Mins.)
• • • • •
Before we leave the world
of cats, can you imagine the horror of being attacked by a wild bobcat in your
very own kitchen? So does the kid survive with his face intact? Click on the
link below for the answer. (1 Min.)
• • • • •
OK, we promise this will be
the final item about felines this week. Unfortunately, it's not good news for
you cat owners who expect your furry little feline to love you as much as you
love it. (5 Mins.)
• • • • •
So this teen-ager shows up
at a radio station in Quebec, where French is the primary language. While he may
very well speak English, there is no evidence in the clip that he can. So what's
the big deal? Take a moment and listen to him impersonate The King singing "Blue
Christmas." (2 Mins.)
• • • • •
With over 21 million views,
we didn't find it surprising that Don Hale ran across and sent in this clip of
Carrie Underwood and Vince Gill singing "How Great Thou Art."
• • • • •
We ran this clip of Bob
Hope with the Troops at Christmas in 2011 and again last year. To honor the late
comedian who we feel was among the finest Americans to have ever lived, we
thought it was worth including for the third year in a row. What's sad is that
if you mentioned his name to a group of college students today, many of them
would probably say, "Who?" (10 Mins.)
• • • • •
Last but not least is this
tribute to our active military personnel that we felt was an appropriate way to
conclude this final Farsider before Santa comes down the chimney.
• • • • •
Pic of the Week
A peek inside
the HealthCare.gov website headquarters...