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publication that is not affiliated with the San Jose Police Benevolent
Assn. The SJPBA has allowed the Farsider to be included on its website solely for the convenience
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the views of the San Jose Police Benevolent Association's Board of Directors or its membership.
STILL NO OBIT FOR BILL WALKER
There still is no obituary for Bill Walker, who died in Chandler, AZ on Aug. 17th. A Memorial Service, however, is scheduled for 1:00 p.m. this Saturday, Sept. 10, at the Valley of the Sun Mortuary in Chandler, AZ. Although no obit has been posted, the guest book has so far been signed by four individuals. If you befriended and/or worked with Bill during his career, please consider clicking HERE and adding your name/comment to the guest book for his family. There are also 30 photos of Bill in the Photo Gallery.
Last call to register for the Golf Tournament to benefit the SJPD Chaplaincy
We are fast approaching the deadline to register for the SJPOA Charitable Foundation's 9th Annual Chaplaincy Golf Tournament and still need more golfers.
If we don't get 70 more golfers by Monday, September 12th, we will have no choice but to cancel the tournament.
Please take a moment to register now by coming to the POA office, calling (408) 298-1133, or by clicking HERE to register online.
THE TRIALS & TRIBULATIONS OF SAN JOSE AND THE SJPD
Mayor Calls San Jose Police Recruiting Trip to Hawaii ‘Not a Good Use’ of Taxpayer Dollars
By Josh Koehn, Managing Editor <firstname.lastname@example.org>
San Jose Inside — Sept. 1, 2016
San Jose’s police department will ‘try anything’ to
get new officers, even if it means going to Hawaii.
Eleven San Jose police officers boarded planes in May and flew to Hawaii in search of bodies. The goal of the trip, which lasted 11 days, was to attend two job fairs and bring back academy recruits—preferably smart, strong, honorably discharged vets—to provide a transfusion of new blood into one of the most beleaguered police departments in the country.
The trip garnered little scrutiny at the time, as logistics were cobbled together in less than two months. Nonetheless, SJPD’s three-person recruiting division reportedly reached out to a total of 884 prospects by phone and email ahead of time. Of the 11 SJPD officers to touch down in Oahu, three were sent out early to build a six-foot wall for an obstacle course to test applicants, while others came to the shores of Waikiki in waves over the course of two weeks. They stayed at the Waikiki Beach Marriott Resort & Spa, located “just steps from the sparkling water and sandy beaches of the Pacific Ocean,” according to the hotel’s website.
Lt. Heather Randol, who oversees San Jose’s recruitment division, says it was “not a vacation” but rather “a long and tiring trip.” SJPD had interviews scheduled with 89 people: three were disqualified ahead of time, seven withdrew and 29 “washed out,” failing to show up for their interviews. The remaining applicants completed at least one part of the hiring process.
But as of this week—the same week San Jose invoked an “emergency” declaration to sidestep labor restrictions to backfill police patrol assignments—the trip to Hawaii has resulted in just one recruit going through the background check process for October’s academy. Five others have tentatively signed on for next year’s three academies, but they too must pass a rigorous background check that results in less than 1 percent of applicants making the cut.
The total cost for these six maybes: $42,692 and change—not including overtime.
San Jose’s police academies can handle a maximum of 60 new recruits per cycle, but they have fallen far short of that number in recent years. The academy launched in June has just 18 cadets, which is better than the seven who advanced out of February’s class but still not enough to make up for unprecedented losses. Since 2012, SJPD has seen 292 officers resign and 198 retire, bringing the department’s street-ready officer total to 812—and leaving roughly 200 vacancies. Fewer than the minimum required 500 officers bid for patrol beats in the latest round of assignments this summer, pushing the city into an emergency situation.
It’s this depletion of staff—motivated by cuts to pay, pensions and disability protections over the last five years—that has similarly inspired a sense of desperation on the part of SJPD recruiters.
“We’re willing to try anything right now,” Randol says.
Anything, apparently, resulted in the Hawaii trip, which has worked very well for public safety departments like Sunnyvale’s, which requires officers to work as police, firefighters and EMTs but also offers better compensation and benefits than SJPD. While attending the same job fairs this spring in Hawaii, Sunnyvale hired 13 new officers after landing 12 last year, according to Chief Frank Grgurina.
“When you look at the number of people we get coming back, you can’t argue with the results,” he says.
The same can hardly be said for San Jose. The expense of the Hawaii trip accounts for nearly a seventh of SJPD’s annual $350,000 recruiting budget, which has raised concerns that SJPD has not been wisely allocating its resources for recruiting.
“I’m no expert when it comes to police recruiting, but I would not have used public dollars for a recruiting trip to Hawaii,” says San Jose Mayor Sam Liccardo. “Based on the numbers we see today, it was not a good use of the public dollars.”
Another issue that has come under scrutiny is the department’s marketing decisions, which to date are being decided by officers who have training in variety of law enforcement methods, of which advertising is not one.
“I made that point very clear publicly, when the city audit came to the City Council months ago,” Liccardo says. “I emphasized the importance of having civilian expertise in marketing and outreach strategies.”
San Jose Police Chief Chief Eddie Garcia, who asked the mayor and council to declare an emergency to rebid assignments and make up for the lack of officers on patrol, said an outside marketing agency is expected to soon help the department. He admits, however, that “we’re not a quality employer, so we struggle with recruiting.” (After the publication of this story, Chief Garcia clarified that SJPD is not a “competitive” employer.—Editor)
The hope among elected officials and department brass is that Measure F—the November ballot measure to finalize a settlement on Measure B pension reforms—will allow the department to gain some certainty for the future.
“We have to cast a wide net,” Garcia says. “I’m not saying [the Hawaii trip] was or wasn’t successful, but we will look at this trip and see which are more fruitful than others.”
He adds, “You miss every shot you don’t take.”
The risk-reward factor is certainly something to consider. Sunnyvale took just one less person than SJPD’s contingent to Hawaii—10 total; eight sworn officers and two civilian staffers—but sustained a presence for more than three weeks. During this time, Sunnyvale officers cycled in and out to conduct written, oral and agility tests, initial psychological screenings and complete background checks. The trip took more than twice as long as San Jose’s effort, at a cost of $180,000 to $190,000, according to Deputy Chief Dayton Pang.
Another big difference, according to records obtained through a Public Records Act request, is planning: SJPD recruiters decided to attend the Hawaii trip based on a March 12 email from an outside source whose name was redacted from the email. SJPD did not clarify who sent this message less than two months prior to the job fairs. By comparison, Sunnyvale’s department says it began planning for its trip in December 2015.
Lt. Randol, who took over SJPD recruitment in December and Chief Garcia calls the “future of this police department,” says the trip to Hawaii can’t be fully judged until more follow-up is conducted. Unlike Sunnyvale, San Jose’s trip was just an introduction to a market that has a similarly high cost of living to Silicon Valley but a much lower median income.
“Now that we’ve gone out there we’ve established ourselves,” Randol says. However, she adds, there is no current plan for San Jose officers to return to Hawaii in the near future.
Josh Koehn is the managing editor for San Jose Inside and Metro Silicon Valley. Email tips to email@example.com or follow him on Twitter at @Josh_Koehn.
Click HERE then scroll down to review the readers’ comments generated by this article.
My husband sent these photos to me and suggested I forward them to the Farsider. Hope you enjoy them. And while I'm emailing you, thanks for keeping up with the Farsider each Thursday! We (I forward most items to my husband's iPad and it keeps him busy most of the day) really enjoy reading it. You and Leroy do a fantastic job keeping us informed and making us chuckle. God bless you both.
Joanne MacDougall <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Thanks for the very kind words, Joanne. Seems like only yesterday we were part of a team inside the hallowed halls of the SJPD.
Readers can click HERE, then on the arrow in the lower left hand corner to view all the interesting photos your husband provided. Here is a sample…
• • • • •
Isn't it a fact that sometimes you have to use satire math to dig out the truth of any given situation. Take for instance the question as to why so many people have gravitated to the Trump camp. Start the math equation with two words -- Bill Clinton -- then start adding the different signs (plus, minus and the like). It might run like this: Bill Clinton + corporate money interest, plus a smooth talking southern ego, plus being an ardent supporter of trade with and getting China into the WTO, plus championing NAFTA, add to that his lists of personal issues and distractions while in office, and that equals.
His corporate buddies and their close associates moved their plants and good paying jobs overseas and to Mexico. That equals good American workers losing their jobs (forever), (looming debt, nervous twitches, breakout rashes, tossing and turning), their houses gone, benefits vanish, their livelihoods (lost) and in some cases suicide, marriage breakups (move in with the in-laws). That equals long lines at the unemployment office, longer unemployment compensation extensions, higher county health department expenses, more people in the jails, alcoholism threw the roof, tons of small businesses closing everywhere -- stress, pain and agony everlasting.
Total in the tens of million jobs lost in just ten years. NAFTA was such a great deal for America, wasn't it? But at least there were some go-getters who were able to snag great jobs such as office janitors or cashiers at the neighborhood food mart to survive. Some were even able to get 'night manager' jobs at the local midnight hotel (low pay, no benefits) -- great work, stay awake.
Why all the hollering? I don't understand why a lot of people are so upset. It's just math. Instead of adding, now start subtracting. He only took their jobs, their houses, their benefits, their life's savings, their sense of security, everything of material value and ruined their family life; basically he took their entire livelihood and forced them into slave labor. But he did it all with that charming southern smile, and I guess that's important. If you are going to enslave people, you might as well do it with a smile. It wasn't personal or anything like that. It was other people's lives that got torn apart, not his. It was just business. His hands are clean. Um!!!!? Plus his buddies benefited from it. All these years later they still get richer by the minute.
As for Bill, well he's doing fine. He made out like a bandit. He still charges a hefty price for his speeches. Now Hilary wants to be President and put him in charge of the economy because he knows about those things; he has a proven track record. She wants to give him hundreds billions of our hard earned money so he can attempt a fix on what he already ruined. Hilary says we should trust him now. She promises not to let him talk her into signing the TPP agreement. Um?
Anyway, I still don't get it. Why are people so angry? Anger should not be thrown his way. He shouldn't be yelled at or have his name cursed, or anything like that. Shouldn't he be honored, and not spat upon?
W. J. C. - a true man of the common people. What a charmer. What a great man?
Dave (Scannell) <email@example.com>
Don't hold back, Dave. Tell us what you really think of the saxophone-playing former Prez with a cigar fetish.
• • • • •
This Wall Street Journal article might be of interest to your readers who are following the battle for the White House. After reading the first couple of paragraphs I got hooked into reading the rest of the story. It’s not something you will see reported in the New York Times or the Washington Post.
Red State <firstname.lastname@example.org>
I have a question for you, Red. Are you and Talking Points the same person? I’m beginning to see some similarities in your writing styles. Whatever the case, here’s the story you submitted.
Worse Than Hillary Clinton’s Emails
—The civil service was missing in action. We learned about the emails from a hacker—
By William McGurn <email@example.com>
Wall Street Journal — Sept. 5, 2016
Forget the new dump of Hillary Clinton emails. Forget the phony claims that the missing communications were all about wedding plans and yoga routines. Forget, too, the many requests from Doug Band in which the Clinton Foundation honcho hoped his quos (hefty donations to the Clinton Foundation) would translate into quids (e.g., special access to the secretary).
Forget them all. The most disturbing aspect about the FBI dump may not be fresh evidence of another Clinton lie. The most disturbing thing about Mrs. Clinton’s continuing email drama may be where she’s telling the truth.
Or at least a half-truth. Mrs. Clinton told the FBI it was “common knowledge” at State that she used private email. Agents further quote her as saying she “could not recall anyone raising concerns with her regarding the sensitivity of the information she received at her email address.”
However unseemly the cashing in of the Clinton family, whatever the trampling of the ethics accord the Clinton Foundation had signed with the White House, even apart from the walking conflicts-of-interests that were Huma Abedin and Cheryl Mills, the much larger stink here is this: Mrs. Clinton was allowed to spend her four years as secretary of state off the grid.
It isn’t so much that Mrs. Clinton set up a personal server so she would not be accountable the way normal political appointees are held accountable. It’s that no one in government stopped her. The inspector general’s report notes that when two IT officers expressed their concern in 2010 that her private email system meant federal records were not being preserved, they were told “never to speak of the Secretary’s personal email system again.”
As a result, when the American people finally learned about Mrs. Clinton’s use of private email for public business, it wasn’t because of a functioning civil service. It was because of a hacker.
Mrs. Clinton says officials at State never told her what she was doing wasn’t allowed. That isn’t quite true. It’s more accurate to say she never asked the people who would have the answers to these questions. The IG report confirms it was made clear to State staffers that she did not want the questions asked.
It gets worse. Even today her former department is still resisting efforts to make public the emails she tried to hide. Groups such as Judicial Watch have done yeoman’s work in forcing the emails into the sunlight—but they have also had to get court orders to pry them out of an obstructionist State Department.
It’s a disturbing pattern, and unfortunately it’s not limited to State. There have been similar questions about the integrity and professionalism of the IRS ever since the American people learned in 2013 that it was unfairly targeting conservative groups seeking tax-exempt status.
Three years, many congressional hearings and disappearing hard drives later, there is still no evidence the IRS has ended the practice. Just last month, a three-judge panel of the D.C. Circuit Court of Appeals described the IRS approach to its targets this way: “You’re alright for now, but there may be another shoe falling.” This follows on a March ruling from the Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals, which blasted the IRS for refusing to produce a list of those it had targeted—as well as for its bad faith in defending itself by invoking a rule meant to “protect taxpayers from the IRS, not the IRS from taxpayers.”
Originally the speculation was that the IRS effort had been orchestrated by the Obama administration. As the Journal’s James Taranto noted at the time, the IRS scandal is worse if it was not directed by the White House. “If it ‘went rogue’ against the Constitution and in support of the party in power,” he wrote, “then we are dealing with a cancer on the federal government.”
Now consider the FBI. Its director is appointed to a 10-year term precisely to remove him from political pressures.
In our criminal-justice system, the bureau’s job is to investigate, while the decision to indict belongs to the Justice Department. In other words, whether to indict Mrs. Clinton was Attorney General Loretta Lynch’s responsibility, and she would have to take the heat whichever way she decided.
Until FBI director Jim Comey intervened with a press conference in which he announced he was recommending against indictment. By going public in a way even he admitted was “unusual,” Mr. Comey effectively pre-empted the Justice Department and any hope for accountability. That Mr. Comey’s decision let Ms. Lynch off the hook after her private meeting with Bill Clinton only makes it more disgraceful.
Welcome to modern Washington, just two months away from a presidential election. It’s possible, of course, that the people who believe the system is rigged and that their government has taken sides against them are wrong.
But the most disquieting possibility is that it isn’t crazy to think they might be right!
Click HERE to review the readers’ comments regarding this article.
LOOKING FOR SOME LAUGHS?
restaurant will handling the dinner portion. For more
information, contact Juan Reyes at <firstname.lastname@example.org>
IS THIS WHY DIANE WAS PLACED ON ADMINISTRATIVE LEAVE?
City Investigates Allegation Chief ‘Traded Favors’
—Contractor later became Stuart’s husband; unclear if probe is related to leave—
By Darin Moriki and Mark Gomez, Staff writers
Mercury News — Sept. 3, 2016
HAYWARD — The city of Hayward investigated an allegation that police Chief Diane Stuart showed favoritism toward a contractor who later became her husband, this newspaper has learned.
It is unknown if the allegation is related to the city’s decision Monday to place Stuart on administrative leave while looking into a personnel issue.
Former City Manager Fran David, who retired July 31, confirmed she received and investigated allegations in an anonymous letter that Chief Stuart — then known as Diane Urban — “traded favors” with Clark D. Stuart II, who has worked as a contractor for the city over the past several years. The two recently were married, and social media posts indicate their personal relationship dates back at least two years.
Diane Stuart was appointed in
August 2011 as the first woman to
lead Hayward’s Police Department.
The undated letter was apparently sent before the chief and Stuart were married. It indicates it was mailed to this newspaper, Mayor Barbara Halliday, the chief and Clark Stuart, among others.
Halliday said she vaguely recalled receiving the letter, but referred questions about it to current City Manager Kelly McAdoo. She did not respond immediately to a public request about the letter or Clark Stuart’s involvement with the Police Department.
David did speak briefly about the letter. She confirmed that she received it and investigated the matter but declined to elaborate further, citing the city’s ongoing investigation.
“ I don’t want to jeopardize the investigation that the city is doing, and I don’t know if any, all or part of (the letter) is going to be a part of that — I just don’t want to misrepresent anything at this point,” David said.
Clark Stuart’s relationship with the city dates back to at least December 2011, when he was helping the Police Department “investigate violations of and enforce laws regarding human trafficking,” according to archived city records.
At that time, city agreements show that Clark Stuart’s company, Global Trident II, was given a one-year access to the Hayward Police Department’s confidential, proprietary database that stores information about sexual exploitation offenses.
The city also used a 2002 Ford Focus provided by Global Trident that was “specifically equipped with resources for conducting surveillance and other law enforcement activities,” according to a January 2012 agreement signed by David and then-Chief Urban.
The car was to be used jointly by Global Trident employees and Hayward police officers as a part of “ongoing investigations and enforcement of laws prohibiting human trafficking, prostitution and other quality of life offenses,” the signed accord read.
Clark Stuart was hired in 2014 to train senior staff “in critical areas such as customer service, communications, and professional development.” The agreement, which was reached before the chief and Clark Stuart were married, was not to exceed $75,000 for the two-year term. The contract was with the city manager’s office and was approved by the City Council.
Stuart recently taught a three-day class titled “ effective executive communication,” which was hosted by the Hayward Police Department, according to Ralph Brown, a spokesman for the state’s Commission on Peace Officer Standards and Trainings. To teach the class, Stuart was first approved by POST, Brown said.
Numerous Bay Area police agencies have sent officers to Stuart’s classes. It’s common practice for agencies to send officers to trainings hosted by other agencies to offset costs.
Diane Stuart a retired U.S. Navy officer, was appointed in August 2011 as the first woman to lead Hayward’s Police Department, according to her bio on the city’s website. She began her law enforcement career in 1986 with the San Jose Police Department, climbing to the rank of assistant chief. At the time, she was the highest-ranking female police officer in San Jose history.
A BLUE LIVES MATTER STATEMENT
The NFL and the Niners have a lot to learn from
this Alamogordo, NM High School football team.
The player is carrying a Blue Lives Matter flag…
Want one? Click HERE
STORIES OF THE WEEK
The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. A lady stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Jim, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him."
You could hear an audible gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Jim experienced.
She continued, "Jim was unable to hold me or the children, and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation. They were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Jim's scrotum and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."
Again, the men in the congregation squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Jim.
She continued, "Jim is now out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely."
All the men sighed with relief.
The pastor then rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had anything to say. A man in the back rose and walked to the podium. He said, "I'm Jim, and I want to correct what my wife said. The word is sternum."
• • • • •
Siamese twins walk into a pub in Vancouver, B.C. and park themselves on a bar stool. One of them says to the innkeeper, "Don't mind us, we're joined at the hip. I'm Joe, he's Jim, we'll have two Molson Canadian beers, draft please."
Feeling slightly awkward, the innkeeper tries to make polite conversation while pouring the beers.
"Been on holiday yet, boys?"
"We're off to England next month," says Joe. "We go to England every year and rent a car so we can drive around, don't we, Jim?"
"Ah, England," says the innkeeper. "Wonderful country...the history, the beer, the culture..."
"Nah, we don't like that British crap," says Joe. "Hamburgers and Molson's beer, that's us, eh Jim? And we can't stand the English...they're arrogant and rude."
"So why do you keep going to England?" asks the innkeeper.
Joe replies, "It's the only time Jim gets to drive."
• • • • •
After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last May, scientists in New York City found traces of a copper-wire system dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network at least a century ago.
Not to be outdone, California scientists dug to a depth of 20 feet a month later. The following day, a front-page article in the "L.A. Times" read, "California archaeologists found traces of a 200-year-old copper wire system and concluded that Los Angeles had an advanced high-tech communications network 100 years earlier than New York's."
One week later, the "Redneck Rebel Gazette" in LaVergne, Tenn. reported the following: "After digging as deep as 30 feet in an empty field in nearby Smyrna, self-taught archaeologists Bubba Ray Johnson and Billy Joe Miller reported that they found absolutely nothing. They subsequently concluded that 300 years ago, Tennessee had already gone wireless."
• • • • •
Follow up: We originally included this wedding invitation that was written by the groom’s mother 8 years ago (Aug. 21, 2008 Farsider). And it was followed by a lovely photo of the bride and the groom. Try as we might, we were unable to determine if the mother was correct when she stated on the invitation that the marriage would “no doubt end in divorce.”
NOT FAR OFF THE MARK...
THE BEST OF THE LATE NITE JOKES
Aug. 31 — Sept. 6
Aug. 31: Donald Trump made a surprise trip to Mexico for a meeting with the country’s president, Enrique Peña Nieto. Or as Trump put it, “Nice to meet you, Eric Piñata.”
A reporter went through Hillary Clinton’s schedule while she was secretary of state and found that she and Bill were often away from each other, and sometimes even on different continents. When asked why they didn’t try to coordinate their schedules, Hillary said, “Oh, we did.”
Chris Christie just vetoed a proposal to boost New Jersey’s minimum wage to $15 an hour. Then fast food workers said, “After all we've done for you?”
Former Texas Gov. Rick Perry will compete on the upcoming season of Dancing with the Stars. Which is why this season it will be called “Dancing with the Stars … and Rick Perry.”
Sept. 1: Donald Trump gave a big speech on immigration last night. And during the speech, he said that Mexico is 100% going to pay for his, quote, "beautiful border wall." Mexicans were like, "Wait, you never said it was going to be beautiful. Who do we write the check out to?"
Rudy Giuliani spoke at Donald Trump's rally last night after he got back from Mexico and debuted a new campaign hat. This is real. We did not make this up. It reads, "Make Mexico great again also." They didn't stop there. They also debuted another hat that says, "Oh, yeah, I guess we better make Canada great again, too, while we're at it, in addition to the United States and Mexico."
A JetBlue flight took off from Florida to Cuba this week, marking the first commercial flight to Cuba since 1961. People said that they couldn't believe the third world conditions, but then they got off the JetBlue plane and were like, "Finally, we're in Cuba."
A sperm donor in Georgia, who has fathered 36 children, recently admitted to lying on his application about his high IQ. After hearing this story, Ryan Lochte said, "Dad?"
Sept. 6: Yesterday, in China, President Obama had a meeting with Vladimir Putin. And before they started, Obama texted Michelle: "Going into a meeting, love you." While Putin texted the same thing to Donald Trump.
A photo of Obama greeting Putin is going viral, because people think they're giving each other the death stare. I feel like both guys were just thinking, "Oof, he's gotten old."
A lot of people were saying President Obama was snubbed by China when they didn't have the stairs ready for him to get off the plane. In fact, Donald Trump said that if that ever happened to him, he'd just close the plane doors and leave the country. Every other country was like, "That's all we have to do? Thank you. That's perfect!"
Happy birthday to New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie. It was the first birthday party where someone jumped into the cake instead of out of it.
Aug. 31: Today, the president of Mexico hosted Donald Trump. It was just another example of a Mexican doing a job that Americans don’t want.
Yesterday after a 10-hour stand-off, Chris Brown was arrested by the LAPD. Police brought him to the station and put him in the “Chris Brown Wing.”
After insulting Mexico for the past year, Donald Trump was in Mexico today. Things got awkward when he made a speech that started out, “Hola, Rapists.”
According to a new poll, Hillary Clinton is more unpopular than ever, but still not as unpopular as Donald Trump. So this election is kind of like asking people if they’d rather have chlamydia or gonorrhea.
Ryan Lochte has just announced a new endorsement deal with a crime prevention device. The device is so advanced, it can even stop crimes that you completely made up.
New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie was spotted singing and dancing at a Bruce Springsteen concert. Then Christie tried to crowd surf and killed nine people.
Sept. 1: Last night, Donald Trump said if he’s elected, he will employ a "deportation task force." It’s not really necessary, because if he’s elected most people will probably leave voluntarily.
In France, a shipment that was supposed to contain orange juice actually contained a massive shipment of cocaine. Either way, a great way to start your morning.
In his speech last night, Donald Trump proposed new screening to prevent violent extremists from entering the U.S. In response, Trump’s supporters said, "But we’re already here."
A new poll reveals that supporters of both Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are motivated by fear, not excitement. And third-party candidate Gary Johnson supporters are motivated by being related to Gary Johnson.
A prominent Latino Trump supporter announced today he is withdrawing his support for Donald Trump. He said, "I would have done it sooner but I just came out of a year-long coma."
Sept. 1: Donald Trump maintains that he will build a [border] wall. A beautiful wall. He keeps saying the wall will be beautiful. You know, there are some people who think we need to build a wall; I don't think anyone's requiring that it be beautiful. It seems like a simple basic wall, maybe from IKEA, would do the trick.
He also said there will be no amnesty for immigrants who come into this country illegally, which is very bad news for his next three wives.
Instagram has a new feature. Finally you can zoom in on photos on Instagram by unpinching your finger. Just when our parents learned that that didn't work, now it does. I'm going to miss yelling "you can't make it bigger" at my mother. I really am.
Sept. 6: Labor Day Weekend is always kind of sad to me. Summer's over. Good-bye fun sandals and flirty tops, hello pictures of kids wearing backpacks on Facebook.
Did you see Donald Trump dancing at the gospel church? Donald Trump this weekend, as part of his new initiative to woo African-American voters, visited the Great Faith Ministries Church in Detroit. He said he was there to listen. I don't know what he was listening to but based on his dancing, it clearly wasn't music.
After three weddings you'd think he'd have learned how to dance. I bet if you asked him if he's a good dancer he'd say, "Yeah, I'm the best, nobody dances like me." And it's true, nobody does dance like that.
Aug. 31: Today Donald Trump made a last-minute trip to Mexico to meet with Mexican President Enrique Peña [Nieto] — and you just know that as soon as Trump crossed into Mexico, even Hillary Clinton was like, “OK, let's get cracking on that wall.”
The Mexican president is saying that he told Trump that Mexico would not pay for the wall, while Trump says they never discussed who would pay for it. In Trump's defense, who has ever gone down to Mexico and remembered what they did?
If you're feeling frustrated with Trump's Mexico antics and you're not quite sold on Hillary Clinton, luckily there's another presidential candidate who has been making her voice heard and that's Green Party candidate Jill Stein. If you don't know who Jill Stein is, just picture Bernie Sanders, and now picture the woman in the back of his rally selling dream catchers.
Aug. 31: Donald Trump traveled to Mexico today to meet with President Enrique Peña Nieto. Said Trump, “Wow, this place has more illegal immigrants than we do.”
Donald Trump and Mexican president Enrique Peña Nieto held a joint press conference where Trump said the two did discuss his proposed border wall but did not address payment for its construction. Said Trump, “You know me, I don't like to talk about money.”
The first commercial flight between Cuba and the United States in more than 50 years took off from Florida today — but it was a JetBlue flight so it connected through Denver, Chicago, Seattle, and Des Moines.
During a standoff yesterday, outside his home, singer Chris Brown reportedly threw a duffel bag out his window containing weapons and drugs later recovered by the police. I guess the VMA gift bags were pretty crazy this year.
Sept. 6: The latest CNN poll has Donald Trump beating Hillary Clinton 45 percent to 43 percent. But the good news is, the staffer who informed Hillary is expected to make a full recovery.
Apple is supposed to unveil the latest iPhone tomorrow, which will reportedly do away with the traditional headphone jack. And this is convenient, the included ear buds will come “pre-lost.”
New York Mets player Wilmer Flores excited fans this weekend after changing his walk-up music to the theme song from "Friends." 'Cause if there’s one thing Mets fans understand, it’s when it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month or even your year.
A national Washington Post survey found that Donald Trump has historically low support among college-educated women. It’s from their new segment, “Stuff You Could Have Guessed.”
Sept. 6: President Obama flew to China for Labor Day because he wanted to see where American labor went.
The president is there for his very last G20 Summit. So, the next time he talks international economics, it'll be with a really bored person at a party.
There was a bit of a rough patch at the beginning of the meeting, when Chinese officials wouldn't let President Obama get off Air Force One using the normal staircase, or "Stair Force One" … I hope that's what they call it.
Have you heard about the latest FBI report on Hillary Clinton's emails? Probably not, because they put it out the Friday before Labor Day. You couldn't hide that news more if you welded it inside a lead capsule and fired it into the heart of the sun.
One of the big revelations of this latest email dump is that Secretary Clinton didn't use just one smartphone in office as she originally claimed, she used up to 13 different mobile devices in four years. Madam Secretary, tell the truth. Are you a crack dealer? Because I can't figure out why else you would need 13 phones.
PARDON US WHILE WE EAVESDROP
WEEKLY SNOPES URBAN LEGEND UPDATE
Click HERE for the most current update.
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If you can handle a reality check regarding the immigration issue, click HERE and listen to this Aug. 29th news report from KUSI TV in San Diego, but keep a couple of tabs of Xanax close by in case it causes an anxiety attack. (6:18)
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With Gretchen Carlson, Andrea Tantaros and Greta Van Susteren missing from the Fox News lineup, it looks like Austin Cunningham is going to have to revise his lyrics to THIS song that went viral back in Jan. of 2013. (4:17)
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If you travel to China and find yourself in an elevator with this lady, do not — we repeat, DO NOT — plan on groping her. If you do you will regret it. (0:35)
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This is a short film that supporters of Concealed Carry will approve of; those opposed, not so much. Its theme is, “We can’t change our past, but we can help SAVE our future.” Give it a look. (5:00)
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Think you know quite a lot about the attack on Pearl Harbor that brought the U.S. into World War II? Here’s your chance to prove it by seeing how many of the 30 questions in this quiz you can answer correctly. Lumpy and I both scored an “A.” How well can you do? Click HERE to begin the quiz.
20-24 = B
15-19 = C
10-14 = D
Under 10 = F
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This video of a cop freeing a dog that is STUCK in a fence is a little shaky due to the officer’s body cam, but stick with it for a surprise ending. (2:49)
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Since it’s a slow week, what say we revisit this clip and review the meaning of “American Pie.” Click HERE if you are up for it and listen closely to the lyrics. (8:42)
And that, of course, begs for a replay of THIS outstanding Grand Rapids LipDub of “American Pie” by hundreds of citizens of that Michigan city. The description under the video reads: “This film is dedicated to the late Roger Ebert, who died at the age of 70 on April 4th, 2013. Ebert loved movies and even named our LipDub, ‘The Greatest Music Video Ever Made.’ “ (9:48)
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This contribution from Joe Suske is a little different than most. There is a message on each page of this presentation titled “Lightning in a Jar.” After you click HERE, a simple click of your mouse will advance the photos and messages. Give it a try.
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Here is something fun that you can do on your own and/or share with a grandkid. All you have to do is click HERE and follow the directions that starts with you using your mouse to draw a stickman that resembles something like the one below. (Don’t fret if your drawing looks terrible.)
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Here’s a great idea that is saving lives in Argentina thanks to Samsung. Could it work here in the States? Not a chance! Thieves would pounce on THIS technology and wind up with ultra-wide flat screen TVs on the walls of their crash pads. (2:00)
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If this brave bungee jumper is depending on THIS guy to pull her up after she stops bounding up and down, we have a ten-spot that says she is still waiting. (0:36)
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Want to make a conversation PIECE for your bar shelf that will have people scratching their heads? Here’s an easy way to insert four golf balls in a coke bottle. (3:36)
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If PBA Secretary/Treasurer “Lumpy” Lundberg is again going to be responsible for the add-ons at next summer’s PBA barbecue steak dinner meeting, you may want to SKIP the salad. (He’s been practicing this technique for the past six months.) (1:22)
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God bless our Native Americans. And they could sure use His blessings given the way our government treats them. We chose this “CBS Sunday Morning” video as our closer this week to bring attention to the plight of these Native Americans of the Navajo Nation 100 miles east of Albuquerque, NM. That the Feds spend millions on Syrian refugees, illegal aliens (sorry, “undocumented workers”), those who are just too damn lazy to work while denying these original American citizens of having fresh water is criminal. If you agree, please consider sending the link below to your friends. (8:24)
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Have a good week.
Pic of the Week
THE FARSIDER SUBSCRIPTION ROSTER as of 9/8/16
Additions and changes since the last published update (alphabetical by last name):
Marilyn Brown — Added
Jim Leroy — Added
To receive the email address of anyone on the list -- or to receive the roster with all of the email addresses -- send your request to <email@example.com>.
Allen, Chaplain Bryan
Alvarez, Pat (Campbell)
Babineau, Dave & Cheryl
Bray, Mary Ellen
Bridgen, Betty Ruth
Brown Jr., Bill
Burroughs, (Bronson) Utta
Carr Jr., John
Carrillo, Jaci Cordes
Clark, Bill (the one who stayed)
Embry (Howsmon), Eva
Foulkes [Duchon], Louise
Gonzalez, D. (formerly D. Avila)
Guido, Jr., Jim
Guido, Sr. Jim
Hare, Caren (Carlisle)
Harnish, Mary (Craven)
Horton, Debbie (McIntyre)
Howsmon, (Jr.) Frank
Howsmon (Sr.), Frank
Hunter, Dick (via daughter Kim Mindling)
Inami, Steve & Francine
Johnson, Tom & Fran
Klein, Lou Anna
Leonard (Lintern), Lynda
Muldrow, Mark "Mo"
O'Carroll, Diane (Azzarello)
Perry (Cervantez), Martha
Rappe (Ryman), Bonnie
Reyes (Buell), Cindy
Richter, Darrell & Annette
Schenini (Alvarez), Joanne
Taves, Phil & Paula
Terry, Glenn & Maggie
Vallecilla, Ernie & Peggy
Van Dyck, Lois
Williams [Durham], Lanette
Windisch Jr., Steve