We served & we protected!
The Farsider Our Chaplain Historical Society



The Farsider

July 24, 2014


Bill Mattos, Editor and Publisher <bilmat@comcast.net>
Leroy Pyle, Webmaster <leroypyle@sjpba.net>


The Farsider is an independent publication that is not affiliated with the San Jose Police Benevolent
Assn. The SJPBA has allowed the Farsider to be included on its web site solely for the convenience
of the retired San Jose Police community. The content of this newsletter does not represent or reflect
the views of the San Jose Police Benevolent Association's Board of Directors or its membership.






Note the addendum to this Membership Alert from Don Hale that appears at the bottom...

July 23rd

Click HERE to read our first Membership Alert about Jim Lisius for those of you who missed it. Since that time, there have been positive developments on the financial stability front we wanted to make you aware of.

John and I both wanted to publicly thank POA CFO Franco Vado, POA office manager Joanne Segovia, Donna Busse (Retirement Services), Derendinger Insurance Agency and the PORAC I&B Trust Boardmembers for their efforts and hard work in restoring benefits to Jim Lisius and his family.

You remember that Jim lost access to his pension, long-term disability insurance and life insurance when he was terminated for behavior issues. It wasn't until later that Jim was diagnosed with A.L.S. (Lou Gehrig's Disease), which explained Jim's behavior. Once Jim's employment was reinstated, Franco and Joanne worked with retirement services to facilitate his retirement.

They then worked with PORAC and were able to reinstate his long-term disability insurance which will subsidize his pension. Lastly, with the help of the Derendinger Insurance Agency, they were able to reinstate his life insurance.

Lastly, for all of the members who helped with the fundraising efforts to help purchase Jim a handicap equipped van, thank you.

Jim Unland
John Robb


Please be aware that the funds raised for Jim's van, while wonderful and a great example of our police community supporting one of our own, only produced about one-third of the actual cost of the used van that was acquired. Should any additional updates be sent out, it would be great if that information can be shared.

My wife Gloria has ALS, and Chaplain Bridgen hooked us up with Jim and his family, so I am fully aware of the horrific costs, financially as well as emotionally. So if our folks are made aware of this information they may know of other resources that may be able assist further, or they might even wish to contribute more, if they can.

Thank you,

Don Hale #1663 retired



The creation of Community Services Officers to supplement the SJPD comes as no surprise. What is surprising is that the new classification didn't come sooner...

SJPD Trains Civilian Officers

—Community service workers to relieve overstretched force—

By Robert Salonga <rsalonga@mercurynews.com>
Mercury News — July 23, 2014

SAN JOSE — In another response to its ongoing staffing troubles, the San Jose Police Department has started training a battalion of civilian officers aimed at taking some of the burden off an overstretched force.

The city’s first-ever Community Service Officer program launched its initial five-week academy Tuesday, which will begin putting 25 recruits — 13 men and 12 women — through the paces of what will come to include taking non-urgent burglary and auto-theft calls and helping shoulder a considerable report-writing workload.

“The addition of CSO’s to patrol will enhance our operational abilities, freeing up patrol officers from cold reports, enabling them to conduct more proactive police work,” Chief Larry Esquivel said in a statement.

“This new program will also enhance our community partnership which is critical considering our staffing woes.”

Officials are quick to point out that the civilian officers will not be responding to any calls that involve an active suspect and that if civilian officers run into trouble, they are to call for regular police officers. They are going to be equipped with pepper spray in the event of an immediate threat to their safety. The CSO program has been more than a year in the making. One of the ways police have been trying to sell the program to prospective applicants is that it gives hands-on exposure to police work, as their jobs will entail assisting patrol, writing reports, addressing traffic complaints and non-injury car accidents, and helping with crowd control at special events, among other duties. They may even be called upon to help protect crime scenes. The new officers will be supervised by a police sergeant and will wear light blue uniforms with police-style insignia but will be distinct from the traditional police blues, and drive in white Ford Focus sedans with “Community Service Officer” emblazoned on the side.

The academy graduation is set for Aug. 21, after which graduates will go through three weeks of field training, with a ready-to-deploy date of Sept. 14.

Community service officers serve a supplementary role in Palo Alto, Fremont and several other Bay Area cities, dealing predominantly with so-called “quality of life” crimes like burglary, car theft and vandalism that typically only entail a report being taken.

The inspiration for the program in San Jose, however, is largely to fill a void: SJPD’s ranks have shrunk from more than 1,400 in 2008 to just over 1,000 — about 900 of them street-ready — and officers continue to leave amid a political battle between the police union and city leaders over pay, disability and pension issues.

Minimum patrol targets call for 492 officers but just 450 are staffing the positions, with the difference made up by overtime shifts worked in part by bringing other divisions into the fold, including detectives and SWAT officers.

How much of a dent the initial 25 civilian officers can make into that shortfall is anyone’s guess, but the general goal is to make the CSO program more robust by fielding academies and making hires on a parallel track to the traditional police recruitment process.

Sgt. Jim Unland, president of the San Jose Police Officers’ Association, considers the program’s existence less of a boon and more of a reflection of the department’s recruiting abilities.

“This is not going to decrease our response time, and it doesn’t put cops on the street. No one is safer because of this,” Unland said.

He also voiced concerns about issuing the CSO’s pepper spray, particularly the liability risk since for police officers, it’s considered a use of force that can subject them to civil litigation.

The baseline qualifications for becoming a CSO are a high-school diploma, valid driver’s license and no felony convictions. They will adhere to city pay steps, starting at around $52,000 and reaching up to $72,000 in nine years.

For the inaugural academy class, police reviewed upward of 800 applicants, about 100 of which made it to the backgrounding process and were further vetted until the current crop remained.



Following is a missive from Les Nunes that got buried under several other items during the two weeks we didn't publish. It should have been in last week's Mail Call column...

July 4th


I hope you have a good 4th of July. The forecast up here calls for a high of 98 and I'll bet we won't fall short; it's already 90 and it's not yet  9:30. Still, we'll definitely get out and celebrate somehow. I just saw something on our local news website that might be of interest to some of your Farsider readers.

Take care. I need to get outside, sit in the sun, and take the chill off.

Les (Nunes)

Clicking HERE will take you to the website and the article Les sent in. It's about a 1970 robbery at Dodge Ridge.


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July 19th


The Reno Air Races are getting close — Sept 10-14, 2014. For those attending, here are two short previews of what you will see from my brother Mike, one of the pylon judges.

Dirk Parsons


Seven Days in September: Part ONE

Seven Days in September: Part


July 16th through July 22nd

President Obama called German Chancellor Angela Merkel yesterday to talk about improving relations with our country after this latest spying scandal. Obama made her a pretty good offer. He said, "Look, we'll stop spying if we can borrow your soccer team."

Speaking of Obama, yesterday Congressman Raul Labrador said that impeaching President Obama isn't a good idea, because, quote, "no one wants President Joe Biden." And that's when Biden realized why Obama picked him as a running mate.

I just saw that minor league baseball players have filed a class-action lawsuit to demand better pay — as opposed to the OTHER way they could get better pay: being better at baseball.

This week, our pal Rob Ford faced off against his four challengers in a debate for Toronto mayor. His opponents were, of course, pretty critical of his performance, but Ford said, "Hey, my record slurs for itself."

Chris Christie warned against presidential candidates running too soon. Then earthquake experts warned Chris Christie against running at all. "Cities just aren't equipped to deal with it."

President Obama said that his strategy for foreign policy is to be patient and determined. Which is also his strategy when it comes to Biden's bedtime.

There are reports that Amazon is coming out with a new service for the Kindle that will be like a Netflix for books. You can look at a bunch of different books but you don't have to buy them. Or, as Barnes & Noble calls that, "Our business model."

President Obama was giving an interview recently, and get this, he said he thought that Joe Biden would be a good president. When asked why, he was like, "Because he'd make me look AMAZING."

Edward Snowden is back with yet another spying scandal. In a new interview, Snowden revealed that NSA employees regularly pass around nude pictures of people they spy on. It got even weirder when German Chancellor Angela Merkel said, "So, vat do you think?"

I heard that Rob Ford's nephew is planning to run for a seat on the Toronto City Council. He has an interesting campaign slogan: "I'm adopted!"

Last night, a 105-year-old woman threw out the first pitch at the San Diego Padres game. It got a bit weird when she turned to 50 Cent and said, "Now THAT'S how you throw a baseball!"

I saw that Hillary Clinton visited the headquarters of Twitter and Facebook yesterday. Hillary would also have visited LinkedIn, but she already knows what job she wants.

Netflix revealed earlier this week that it now has more than 50 million users — and one actual subscriber. I love Netflix!

A JetBlue pilot was arrested this week and charged with heroin possession. Passengers could tell something was up when, during their flight, he announced, "To your left you'll see the Grand Canyon, and to your right you'll see a fire-breathing dragon."

I just read about this student at MIT who's created a new robot that can play Connect Four. Yes, an emotionless machine that can occasionally sit down and play a board game with you, or as I called that growing up — my Dad.

A major wildfire in northern California is now being blamed on marijuana farmers. Everyone in the region's really angry about it — unless they're downwind, then they're totally cool.

There's currently a petition to split California into several states. Among the new states would be Botoxia, Pornsylvania, and of course, the Commonwealth of Kardashiania.

The drought is so bad, we're taking extreme measures in two weeks. That is the most California thing I have ever heard of. This is serious, man!

This drought — we're in big trouble. We're going to do something about it eventually, if we feel like it!

"Star Wars" fans are very upset that the story line of the upcoming new "Star Wars" movie has been leaked. Apparently the movie starts with R2-D2, Chewbacca, and Han Solo all waking up in Vegas.

Officials are concerned that people in Los Angeles are too apathetic about the drought. We're not doing anything about it. Of course, that will change next week when we announce that the drought is killing all the marijuana crops.

NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden is back in the news. He says the military at the NSA often shared nude photos that Americans had emailed to one another. So if your girlfriend won't send you naked pictures, just tell her, do it for the troops.

A professor from U.C. Berkeley said we are on track for having the worst drought in 500 years. Which explains why Larry King was overheard saying, "This again?"

You can tell this drought is getting really bad. Today at lunch, my waiter asked if I wanted a glass of water or a future for my children. I took the water.

There's a lot of speculation about the new iPhone. It's expected to have a larger screen and a better operating system. Yes, the new iPhone will be called last year's Samsung Galaxy.

Netflix is testing a new feature that will allow you to hide what you've been watching. You just click the button and it says, I want to stay married.

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie is in Iowa campaigning at a big cookout because this is what you do if you want to be president. He's out there all day telling people the hotdog line is closed for a traffic study.

If you are attending this campaign cookout in Iowa, please, this is sort of like the running of the bulls in Pamplona. Do not get between the governor and the potato salad.

The New York City Fire Department calendar is here and it's sizzling. A full year of shirtless, hunky heroes. Also available, the companion calendar: just the shirts. All the sexy shirts the firefighters weren't wearing.

People love the new Pope, but I think it's safe to say he's gone crazy. Now he's thinking about doing away with celibacy for priests. Are you like me? Are you thinking "Real Housewives of the Vatican?"

I don't know if this is a good idea or not. Do you really want a priest showing up for the last rites with a date?

Now the FCC wants to update the Emergency Alert System so the president can interrupt any TV program. "We interrupt this program so the president can tell America what he had for lunch: a good bowl of matzo ball soup. This concludes today's presidential lunch update."

President Kennedy said let's put a man on the moon, and by God, 10 years later we put a man on the moon. Yesterday was the 45th anniversary. Nowadays a big deal for us is we combined the croissant and the doughnut to get a cronut.

When we landed on the moon everybody remembers what they were doing, and everybody remembers what Neil Armstrong said just before he left the capsule and stepped onto the surface of the moon. He said: "Out of my way, Buzz!" Whack!

A 105-year-old women in San Diego threw out the first pitch in a baseball game. I think it's great to see Barbara Walters is still out there.

She pitched seven scoreless innings! And she's the only woman who slept with both Alex Rodriguez and Babe Ruth.

It's not only David Hasselhoff's birthday, it's also the birthday of Angela Merkel, the chancellor of Germany. One is Germany's most powerful leader, but is not afraid to look feminine. And the other one is Angela Merkel.

It's a great day for a man in Brazil. He's 126 and has been called the world's oldest person. He says the highlight of his life was playing goalie for Brazil in this year's World Cup.

These huge white flags were placed on top of the Brooklyn Bridge. And late this afternoon, word came from the FBI that the New York Mets have surrendered.

Happy birthday to England's Prince George, who turns 1 today. The prince’s first birthday party was a little different. His bouncy castle was an actual castle. And the pony rides were on Camilla.

Queen Elizabeth's horse tested positive for morphine and a mix of other powerful drugs. Sources say the queen is in denial. She thinks someone confused her horse's urine sample with Prince Harry's.

So remember, horses, when it comes to drugs, just say Neigh.

Yesterday, Iran asked the U.S. for an extension on disabling their nuclear program. When asked how much time they needed, they said, "10, 9, 8..."

This week Dick Cheney called President Obama "the worst president of my lifetime." Oh come on, Obama may not be perfect, but there's no way he's worse than John Quincy Adams.

Today, Lay’s announced that cappuccino is one of the finalists for their new chip flavor contest. And if you think that sounds bad, wait until you try Starbucks' new Sour Cream and Onion Latte.

Today is the 30th anniversary of the National Minimum Drinking Age Act, which raised the drinking age to 21. Also turning 30 today: a 16-year-old boy, according to his fake ID.

A federal judge ruled yesterday that California's version of the death penalty is unconstitutional. Apparently the difference is California's version has avocado on it.

According to a new report, 81 percent of people would cheat on their partner if there were no consequences, while 19 percent of people are pretty sure this is a test.

Even though both Israel and Hamas fired on one another during the five-hour humanitarian period yesterday, the U.N. secretary general said both sides "mostly respected" the cease-fire. That's like leaving the house without pants and saying you're "mostly dressed."

In a recent interview, President Obama said Joe Biden "would be a superb president." In a related story, Hillary Clinton punched a hole in a door.

The Chicago Cubs have filed a lawsuit against a man who got into a bar fight while unofficially dressed as the team's mascot. They could tell he wasn’t affiliated with the Cubs because he won.

According to a new poll, two-thirds of people in Colorado think it should be illegal to smoke marijuana in public, while the other one-third are still laughing at the word "poll."

A judge wrote an opinion today in favor of Obamacare, saying that getting healthcare from the state or federal government is the same as ordering from Pizza Hut vs. Domino's. I’m not sure I agree. THEIR websites always worked.

Today, Secretary of State John Kerry traveled to Egypt and had to pass through a metal detector before he could meet with officials. Which is ridiculous. Everyone knows he's made of wood.

Today is National Hammock Day. And just like a hammock, I can't get into it.

The 17-year-old daughter of one of the "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" was arrested today for DUI and driving on a suspended license. She's expected to receive 12 months of probation and a spinoff.



This week's update is longer than usual because
it includes updates from the past three weeks.

New Articles

• Is the state of New York requiring residents to take their lawn mowers for annual safety inspections?

• Rumors claim infamous mom Casey Anthony has adopted a baby girl from Romania and/or is pregnant with twins.

• A Public Service Announcement calling for racial tolerance seemingly subverts its own message.

• Has President Obama proclaimed August 2014 to be 'International Muslim Awareness Month'?

• Photograph purportedly shows boxes of Tyson "[inverted] boneless pork rectums."

• In celebration of Canada Day, we present a collection of distinctly Canadian urban legends.

• Update to Hobby Lobby's lawsuit over a federal mandate requiring employers to provide insurance coverage for contraceptives.

• Weather Channel founder John Coleman issued comments refuting global warming.

• Are U.S. troops stationed in Muslim countries being ordered to fast and submit to Sharia law during Ramadan?

• Rumor claims college cafeteria food is laced with laxatives to avoid liability for food poisoning or weight gain.

• A newscaster mistakenly assumes that wives in a Middle Eastern country now walk ahead of their husbands due to an advance in societal roles.

• Are Jimmies, the sprinkles used on confections, so named as a reference to Jim Crow?

• Quick-thinking cop has a bit of fun with a drunk stuck in the snow by pretending to run alongside his car.

• E-mail phishing scam poses as overdue notifications for E-ZPass bills.

• Account describes Muslims allegedly engaging in a 'dry run' hijacking on AirTran Flight 297.

• How the Tommy Tutone song 'Jenny' prompted a flood of calls to the phone number 867-5309.

• Did a recent study disprove a link between sun exposure and skin cancer?

• Do hospital mortality rates go up in July due to an influx of inexperienced doctors?

• Has Costco pulled copies of Dinesh D'Souza's book 'America: Imagine a World Without Her' from their stores?

• Was an Oklahoma City McDonald's caught with horse meat and human meat in their freezers?

• Was Smithfield Foods sold to a Chinese company that will be slaughtering and processing hogs raised in the U.S.?

• Did a man begin receiving messages from his girlfriend via Facebook more than a year after she died in an accident?

• Are U.S. schools requiring children to be implanted with RFID chips in an effort to curb gun violence?

• Did police recently find 17 plastic-wrapped bodies in the Ohio River?

• A Marine named Shawn Vernon seeks help in locating a box of lost shirts.

• Was the Creedence Clearwater Revival song 'Fortunate Son' inspired by Al Gore, Jr.?

• Does an Arizona man keep his dead wife's body in a glass-cased piece of furniture?

• A Toronto lawyer demonstrating the safety of window panes in a skyscraper plunged through a window to his death.

• Did a Hobby Lobby store manager execute a gay employee by stoning?

• Still not dead: actress/singer Miley Cyrus. It's another celebrity death hoax.

• How scammers pretending to be Microsoft techs call victims to gain access to their computers and/or bank accounts.

• Will bananas be extinct within ten years?

• Did President Obama stop wearing his wedding ring and wristwatch for Ramadan?

• Is castoreum, a secretion produced by beavers, used as a food additive?

• Scientists drilling in Siberia went too far and ended up punching a hole through to Hell, where the screams of the damned drifted up to them.

• Was the Pentagon built with extra bathrooms to accommodate racial segregation laws?

• Soupy Sales was legendary for sneaking smutty jokes into his TV show. But did he really?

• Did radio stations shun the Diamond Rio song 'In God We Still Trust' because of its subject matter?

• Photographs purportedly show multi-colored 'rainbow grapes.'

• Are Canadian police ticketing motorists for parking their cars with the windows down?

• Who wrote the Serenity Prayer? Was it St. Augustine, or someone else?

• A number of strange deaths are connected to the Poltergeist film series.

• Don't forget to visit our Daily Snopes page for a collection of odd news stories from around the world!

Worth a Second Look

• Did the American Library Association report a nationwide 500% increase in library card applications from children after a 1977 episode of "Happy Days" aired?

Still Haunting the Inbox

• Check out our 25 Hottest Urban Legends list to keep abreast of what's circulating in the on-line world.

Fraud Afoot

• Visit our Top Scams page for a list of schemes commonly used by crooks to separate the unwary from their money.



Large or Full Screen preferred for YouTube videos

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This catchy tune from Alice Murphy about Older Ladies has received over 5 million YouTube views. Have a listen by clicking HERE and you will understand why. (3 Mins.)

But when it comes to songs featuring "ladies," we would have to agree with Bill "Hound Dog" Clinton, who reserves his thumbs-up sign for THIS one about the Girls on Fox News. (4 Mins.)


Personal to Rupert Murdoch and Roger Ailes...

Thank you, guys!


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For those of you have seen snippets on the news about the Marine Harrier pilot who landed his aircraft with a nose wheel that wouldn't lower, this is the COMPLETE video released by the Navy of the incident, as told by the pilot. (3 Mins.)


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On the subject of hairy landings (as opposed to Harrier landings), imagine you are at the controls of this Lynx helicopter and it's your job to set it down on the pitching deck of THIS British naval vessel in the middle of a storm. (2 Mins.)


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If you needed a tree felled on your back deck without damaging your house or shed, would you hire THIS guy? (3 Mins.)


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Come take a lazy ride down a quiet river, just remember to keep your hands inside the boat. THIS is why. (1 Min.)


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Someone had the great idea of flying a drone equipped with a Hi-Def GoPro video camera through the middle of a fireworks show, and THIS was the result. (4 Mins.)



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Ever heard of a bird lengthening its tail feathers with a sheet of paper? Neither had we until we saw THIS video. (2 Mins.)


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Why swim when you can ride, right? Mama doesn't seem to mind, so HOP aboard, kids. (2 Mins.)


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Here is your challenge for the week: Of these seven kittens, which ONE has the fastest reflexes? (33 Secs.)


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A Tiny Birthday for a Tiny Hedgehog? They're kidding, right? Wrong. Watch THIS. (1 Min.)


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Looking for an industrial strength shredder? Perhaps THIS little puppy will suffice. (3 Mins.)


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Who needs playground equipment for the "kids" when "Mr. G" is willing to volunteer HIS time and back? ((2 Mins.)


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It's said that art is in the eye of the beholder. We have no doubt that THIS image represents art, it's the pile of junk it's based on that is hard to believe. (40 Secs.)


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Wouldn't it be fun to watch THIS guy try to use his homemade skateboard on steroids on some of the downhill cable car tracks in S.F.? (1 Min.)


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As wedding proposals go, THIS one could be considered rather unique. Have a look and see if you agree. (1 Min.)


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Own an iPad? You may find THIS video about how they are made of interest if you do. (3 Mins.)


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To understand what's going on in this clip you need to be aware of the coffee cup on the rear bumper of this SUV. (1 Min.)


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This year-old hot chase is continuing to show up on Facebook and other social media. After a Las Vegas PD bait car was shut down, the thief managed to escape, run onto a golf course and bag himself a maintenance golf cart and the chase was on again. But LOOK at who did the chasing. (9 Mins.)


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Sit back and smile if you can remember hearing THIS song by the Sons of the Pioneers on the radio or on a 78 rpm record when you were a kid. (3 Mins.)


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Check out this amazing blue shipping container that has been converted into a camera and click HERE to see how it works. (1 Min.)


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Have you ever heard a drummer keep pace with a classical piece like the Barber of Seville? This guy has turned it into musical art. Have a LOOK and listen. (3 Mins.)

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What's happening here, you ask? The guy in red is about to set an indoor record of 226 feet with a PAPER airplane designed by the guy in blue. By their reaction you would have thought they won the lottery. (1 Min.)


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Dick Tush is inviting all of you to have a SEAT inside the Le Plus Grand Cabaret Du Monde in Paris and watch Alex and Anny perform live on stage. (6 Mins.)


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To many people, the "Swells" are comprised of the rich and famous of the Hollywood set, and one of their perks is the opportunity to attend the Academy Awards in person. What the TV audience didn't see a few months ago was THIS performance by Cirque Du Soleil that preceded the opening of the Awards. (4 Mins.)


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While this week's closer from Don Hale goes back a few years to 2009, it is one of the most impressive military marching formations we've ever seen. What makes it unique is that it's comprised entirely of Chinese female military personnel marching in China's 60th Anniversary Military Parade. Their precision rivals that of any other military in the world. CHECK it out. (2 Mins.)


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Pic of the Week

Relax. The white flag that mysteriously replaced the American Flag atop
the Brooklyn Bridge earlier this week was a prank. It did NOT mean
that we have surrendered to the world, or that the U.S. has been
invaded by France and that they raised their flag as a sign of victory.



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