July 2, 2015
Bill Mattos, Editor and Publisher
Leroy Pyle, Webmaster
The Farsider is an independent publication that is not
affiliated with the San Jose Police Benevolent
Assn. The SJPBA has allowed the Farsider to be included on its web site solely
for the convenience
of the retired San Jose Police community. The content of this newsletter does
not represent or reflect
the views of the San Jose Police Benevolent Association's Board of Directors or
HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!
Don't forget to fly your flag this weekend.
the last scheduled closed session of city council before
the July recess. On Wednesday, POA and Fire teams met
with the city for more that 10 hours before ending our
last scheduled negotiation meeting. Prior to the city
council going into closed session, POA and Fire
addressed city council in the below video.
HERE to watch POA/Fire address the Council
the special closed session on Measure B
today's closed session of the city council the City
Manager and his negotiating team and the SJPOA and SJFF
Local 230's negotiating teams met to further discuss a
settlement to the Measure B litigation. Enough progress
was reached to warrant additional settlement discussions
and the scheduling of an additional closed session of
the city council next Thursday, July 2nd.
The negotiating teams informed the City of the critical
importance of the July 15th re-start of litigation. Once
we begin to expend members' dues on further Measure B
litigation we will inform the membership that a
negotiated settlement of Measure B cannot be had. The
number of fellow officers who have left since January is
now 80 and climbing each day. The time for the city to
act has long passed and it is unfortunate that
settlement has not been reached yet. July 15th is 19
days away, the clock is ticking.
News: SJPD now charging people to apply for jobs. (Click
Area: $3 million to hire more CSOs. (Click
Hoosegow signups start tomorrow (July 1st) at the POA
office. This annual fun event will be held on August
15th and 16th. Please sign up no later than Friday,
August 7th so we have an accurate count for food,
drinks, etc. The cost is $20.00 per family. Please see
the flyer below for more information.
the San Francisco Giants' 12th Annual Law Enforcement
Appreciation Night are in. Please see the flyer below
more details. The best way to get the seats you want is
to come in to the SJPOA office and purchase your tickets
in person. If you are unable to come in, please email
<email@example.com> with how many tickets you would
like to buy and she will respond to you within four
cannot be held or purchased over the phone.
THE TRIALS & TRIBULATIONS OF SAN JOSE AND THE SJPD
We found this opinion piece about San Jose politics from
today’s paper interesting. It touches on the election
that put Liccardo in the mayor’s office and the small
portion of the San Jose electorate that voted for
East-West Divide is Different Now in San Jose
—Measure B is “the will” of 95,716 voters — 25 percent
of the electorate—
News — July 2, 2015
become entrenched in popular knowledge, it’s time to
correct a couple of misconceptions about San Jose’s
recent political history.
The 2014 election for mayor exposed a deeply divided
city, with areas to the West strongly supporting Sam
Liccardo, the winner by a few thousand votes, and areas
to the East supporting Dave Cortese. Some people have
said this division is nothing new in San Jose politics
and that it dates back decades.
There’s some truth to this, or as Stephen Colbert might
say, some “truthiness.” Neighborhoods on the West Side
have long tended to be less liberal than those on the
East Side, but the division was not so consistent or so
rigid until recently. Every successful candidate for
mayor, from Norm Mineta and Janet Gray Hayes in the
1970s to Tom McEnery, Susan Hammer and Ron Gonzales in
the 1980s and 1990s, has won the East Side and done well
enough on the West Side to beat more conservative
opponents. Hayes even won the East Side in 1978 running
against a Latino candidate, but she also won the West.
The more rigid East-West division we saw in 2014 only
began in 2006, when Chuck Reed was elected mayor. It’s
not just a division of ideology, it’s a division of
class and race, and we need to recognize that’s it’s
relatively new and address it before it’s set in stone.
To his credit, Mayor Liccardo has made serious efforts
to reach out to the East Side. I hope he will continue
to do so and that future candidates will work to bridge
the East-West divide in our city.
Another frequently repeated observation about San Jose
politics that’s becoming a cliché is that Measure B, the
pension reforms approved by the voters in 2012, was “the
will of the people.”
Of course, there is also truth in this; 69 percent of
San Jose residents who cast ballots on Measure B voted
“yes.” Clearly, they supported pension reform.
But only 36 percent of the city’s registered voters
bothered to cast a ballot.
To be precise, Measure B is “the will” of 95,716 voters
— 25 percent of the electorate.
Fair enough. That’s democracy.
But I can’t help wondering just what their “will” really
Certainly, it was for pension reform. Almost everybody
agrees it’s necessary. But how many people can cite the
specifics of Measure B?
Was it really the “will of the people” to reduce
promised benefits to current employees, suspend cost of
living adjustments, change disability provisions and
more? Were they supporting legally dubious provisions
that have resulted in over two years of litigation?
Maybe, but I think that for most folks, the “yes” vote
was for pension reform in principle, not for the
This matters right now as Liccardo and the City Council
negotiate with the unions about dropping the court case
against Measure B and reaching a settlement that will
both maintain a balanced budget and stop the
hemorrhaging of city employees — not just police — to
other cities with better pay and pensions and better
City employees need to recognize that pension reform
probably is the “will of the people,” but the mayor and
council should not interpret that as literal support for
the specifics of Measure B.
Both sides have expressed willingness to compromise
Let’s hope they reach an accommodation soon and we can
all move on.
Terry Christensen, San Jose State University professor
emeritus of political science, hosts Valley Politics on
CreaTV (Comcast Ch.30), which focuses on local politics
and features emerging, current and past political
leaders. He wrote this for this newspaper.
• • • • •
Also from today’s paper was this piece that focuses on
crime in San Jose and the shrinking strength of the SJPD…
Leaders Talk Public Safety
—Added programs, funds aim to stem summertime crime—
News — July 2, 2015
SAN JOSE —
Heading into the heart of the summer, when young minds
are idled by the school break and rising temperatures
drive them out into the streets, the city is looking to
tamp down all manner of fireworks. In the literal sense,
that translates to a crackdown on illegal firecrackers
and other festive explosives. It also means pushing
youth jobs programs and ramping up gang intervention
efforts to stem the territorial violence that
historically surges in San Jose when the days are at
“Summertime can be a time of great fun for families, but
also for great peril,” Mayor Sam Liccardo said.
The initiatives were chief among the topics addressed at
a safety-oriented news conference Wednesday at Vista
Park in South San Jose, led by Liccardo, who was joined
by Councilman Johnny Khamis, San Jose police Capt. Ed
Schroder and an array of neighborhood leaders and
They braved temperatures approaching 90 degrees and an
intense overhead sun to also promote the city’s nascent
home-surveillance camera registry and the city’s 25th
anniversary participating in National Night Out, the
pan-city block party aimed at fostering neighborhood
cohesion against street crime. It will be held Aug. 4
Liccardo touted additional city funds directed toward
gang prevention and intervention and the launch of SJ
Works, a program aimed at youth job training and
placement. He cited police figures in the city’s
Southern Division that found over half of the 106
burglary arrests made there so far this year involved
“We can give them a path to build a résumé rather than a
rap sheet,” he said.
Schroder urged families to eschew fireworks, even if
legally obtained outside the city’s local bans, in favor
of Independence Day public fireworks shows downtown, at
Municipal Stadium and Lake Almaden.
The speakers also urged participation in the city’s
pending camera registry, in which homeowners would
submit to police their willingness to confidentially
turn over home-surveillance footage if it might help
solve a crime. The idea was born out of an elevated rate
of home burglaries and other property crimes that
coincided with a thinning of the police force by over 30
percent in the past seven years.
Residents like Don Ferguson and Nick Labosky lauded the
idea, citing instances where video they submitted to
investigators led to burglary arrests and convictions.
Police say they need all the help they can get.
“It’s more important than ever with our staffing that we
work together,” Schroder said.
The San Jose Police Officers’ Association generally
supports the registry but stresses that one of the
underlying trends it’s meant to mitigate, police
understaffing, can’t escape the focus of city leaders as
they pursue innovation.
“There’s nothing wrong with a camera registry,” said
union Vice President James Gonzales, an officer himself.
“But talking about a camera registry in this public
safety environment is like talking about a Band-Aid for
a gunshot victim.”
An ongoing exodus of officers, either through early
retirements or departures for other police agencies, has
shrunk SJPD to about 960 officers, whereas San Francisco
fields over 2,000 officers while serving a population 15
percent smaller. The city has been in long-running
negotiations with the police union to reach an agreement
over wages and retirement benefits.
“We’re making good progress,” Liccardo said, “but it is
going to take some time to work out legal and
The union contends a deal must be struck by July 15,
when appeals over pension reform litigation would
restart and, they fear, would subsume negotiations.
“How can you be with your legal team preparing for the
fight of your life, again, and in the other room sitting
with them trying to settle?” Gonzales said.
The short staffing has led to what both sides
acknowledge is an “unsustainable” model of officers
working routine overtime — sometimes being “held over”
for mandatory extra hours — that has fatigued a patrol
trying to keep up with crime in a city of 1 million.
Their yeoman’s efforts have produced some hopeful
results: Through the end of May, the latest period for
which statistics are available, violent gang crimes were
down 13 percent from the same point last year, from 98
to 85 instances. That includes a drop from four
gang-related homicides to two. Other crimes in the
category include aggravated assaults, robberies and
Overall homicides are also down drastically, a tally
that currently stands at 10 as of the end of June,
compared with 19 at the same point in 2014. But that is
tempered by the fact that aggravated assaults, the
attacks that precede killings, have only dropped by just
over 2 percent, suggesting that the level of violence in
the city has gone mostly unchanged.
It might be modest, but Mario Maciel, superintendent of
the mayor’s Gang Prevention Task Force, said a
combination of fully funded intervention and prevention
programs that includes youth employment, summer
activities, tattoo removal and hospital-based counseling
have made a noticeable difference in gang-plagued
But he also noted that the numbers could change swiftly:
The fatal shooting of a 17-year-old boy off Terilyn
Avenue in East San Jose, in a neighborhood police have
long described as a hot spot for gang activity, has not
yet been classified.
It’s an example of how fleeting progress can seem on the
day-to-day level, and the importance of the city
focusing on the broader picture.
“This is a cyclical problem. Even when you’re having
success, it can go bad quickly,” Maciel said. “It’s
about being ready and staying the course year-round. And
doing a little praying.”
I am trying to get some information about an Industrial
Film that was made at the SJPD, possibly in the ‘80s. It
was about two San Jose Police Officers who were
portrayed by Hollywood actors, one of whom was "George
DiCenzo,” who played the older officer. I believe it won
some kind of an award at an industrial film festival.
Can you ask if anyone remembers the name of the film and
request that they send me an email if they do?
• • • • •
My nephew, Brian D’Arcy, a B-52 pilot, sent me this
photo taken just this week by the Air Force. He and his
crew were signing their names to the very last 750-pound
bomb that the Air Force had. It was left over from the
Brian is on the far right.
it on Guam and flew it to a bomb range on a deserted
island where they dropped it exactly on target. The BUFF
that Brian currently pilots out of Barksdale AFB, was
built 20 years before he was born in 1986. But he says
he loves to fly it. The upgrades in technology on that
bomber are right out of star wars.
P.S. I can’t repeat what BUFF stands for.
Good missive and photo for the next Mail Call column,
Steve. And for the record, I'm fully aware of what BUFF
stands for. I was stationed at Davis Monthan AFB in
Tucson from '64 through '68 and watched as numerous
B-52s and other vintage aircraft that were not scheduled
to be upgraded were brought in and ultimately towed out
to the "graveyard" and put to sleep.
Thanks for sharing this.
Postscript: In a subsequent email from Steve, I learned
that the Air Force Times included the following article
about the bomb drop…
Crews Drop PACAF’s Last Vietnam-Era Bomb
Force, Airframes — June 26, 2015
Airmen from the 20th Expeditionary Bomb Squadron
sign the “Last Blast” — June 24, 2015 at Andersen
Air Force Base, Guam. (U.S. Air Force photo by
Airman 1st Class Joshua Smoot/Released)
the Air Force’s M117 750-pound bomb was synonymous with
“death from above.”
During Vietnam, B-52 crews flying from Thailand and
Japan dropped the ordnance as part of Arc Light missions
and Operation Linebacker II, and nearly 20 years later,
M117s rained down on Saddam Hussein’s army.
On Friday, Pacific Air Forces said goodbye to its
inventory of the Vietnam Era ordnance when B-52s dropped
the last M117s from PACAF’s stockpile on an uninhabited
island off Guam.
Airmen from the 20th Expeditionary Bomb Squadron, of
Barksdale Air Force Base, Louisiana, and the 36th
Munitions Squadron, of Anderson Air Force Base Guam,
participated in Friday’s training mission, according to
a PACAF news release.
“I think it’s fitting that the last M117 bomb was
dropped from a B-52 deployed to Andersen AFB,” Jeffrey
Meyer, 36th Wing historian, said in the news release.
“Loading and dropping the last M117 from a deployed B-52
here is like remembering and honoring the hard work of
Strategic Air Command’s airmen from long ago one last
M117 bomb detonates on an uninhabited island
off the coast of Guam on June 26, 2015. Airmen
from the 20th Expeditionary Bomb Squadron, with
the help of 36th Munitions Squadron Airmen, dropped
the final M117 bomb in the Pacific Air Force’s
inventory as part of a training mission to ensure
the security and stability of the Indo-Asia Pacific
region. (U.S. Air Force photo by Airman 1st Class
deployed to Guam have been using M117s on training
missions for years, said Maj. Phil Ventura, a spokesman
for the 2nd Bomb Wing at Barksdale. At one time,
Anderson had one of the largest stockpiles of M117 bombs
in the Air Force, with an estimated inventory of 90,000
M117 bombs in 1993.
Bomber crews rotating through Guam as part of the U.S.
Pacific Command’s Continuous Bomber Presence will now
use newer bombs during their training missions, the news
Friday also marked the 98th birthday of the 20th
Expeditionary Bomb Squadron, which was founded at Kelly
Field, Texas, in 1917.
“I think it’s awesome to be able to drop live weapons on
the range out here especially on our birthday,” 1st Lt.
Bryant Curdy, 20th EBS weapons system officer, said in
the news release. “So many B-52 crews have come through
Guam and dropped M117s starting in Vietnam, and actually
being able to be part of the crew who gets to drop the
last weapon out here is not only great training but it’s
a part of a cool legacy that we get to share.
• • • • •
In this politically correct environment we can’t expect
the mainstream media to cover events like this, not even
Fox News. Perhaps it’s because any entity or individual
that shines a light on gatherings like this will be
labeled “racist.” As far as I’m concerned, the safety of
me and my family is far more important than what people
think of me. Do you have the balls to include these
videos in the Farsider?
What TP is talking about — my personal parts aside — is
THIS clip he sent in of a New Black Panther
gathering shortly after the recent Charleston murders by
Dylan Roof. (4:49)
rally continues on
THIS link to the Breitbart website that TP also
in his message. It includes additional footage of the
• • • • •
To Bob Moir
and the Farsider,
I received this request for some information from the
Chief’s Office, but I wasn't even born when the event
occurred. I’m sure, however, that many who are reading
this were, and that some may have been on duty when Dr.
Martin Luther King visited San Jose.
Bob: I figured you were the best source for this and
that you could provide some information about that day.
Bill, can you put this in the Farsider? There may be an
old timer who would like to chat with someone about
Thanks as always for your help,
(SJPD Historical Society)
John’s message is in relation to this letter he received
from the Chief’s Office…
Good Morning Sgt. Carr,
Please see attached letter from Mr. Anthony Pino from
San Jose City College asking about historical
information on Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s visit to
San Jose in 1962. Chief Esquivel asked me to forward the
letter to you. He thought you would have some info on
the visit or would know of someone who did. FYI, I will
be routing the original to your box. Please let me know
if you have any questions.
Office of the Chief
Ed. — The attached letter from San Jose City College
referenced above can be viewed by clicking
• • • • •
The following message from the Mortons is in regards to
last week’s “Grand Rapids LipDub” that was our closing
item. If you missed it,
HERE is one more opportunity to see what is arguably
the finest of its kind ever produced. (9:50)
Being an original Michigander — born about 50 miles from
Grand Rapids — Marcia and I were back there around 2013
with 2 older brothers who are WWII vets and are still
alive and kicking. One is 89, the other is 88 and in
pretty good health. While there we did a 10k in Grand
Rapids through the beautiful downtown, past the Gerald
Ford Memorial site and along the beautiful river walk.
Saw some beautiful residential areas with gorgeous
Victorian homes that were well maintained. Quite a
dedication to purpose as the weather raises all hell in
the winter. Anyway, thanks for the video. We loved it.
Bruce and Marcia
• • • • •
I hope summer is going well for you. I really struggle
to believe that we're into July already. Anyway, my
brother has ridden motorcycles for decades and thought
this was quite a save. I have to agree. If I got the
facts straight, he actually finished the race on his
Les' brother's description of “quite a save” is our
choice for this week’s greatest understatement. Watch
NEW BILLY & SPANNER AVAILABLE FOR VIEWING
The latest electronic version of the Billy & Spanner is
now available on-line. You can read the newsletter by
BRILLIANT P.R. MOVE
When we saw the photo below of cops at a kids’ lemonade
stand, our first thought was here we go again; some
meanies in blue were citing kids for selling lemonade
without a permit. Then, after digesting the second
paragraph of the story, we thought what a brilliant PR
move, and why does this story feature Palo Alto cops and
not San Jose’s? To that question, of course, the
probable answer was: Ours are so busy running from call
to call that they don’t have time to stop for a cup of
Alto police drink in the community engagement benefits
of visiting children’s stands—
News — July 1, 2015
PALO ALTO —
Jack Hentzel, 9, cast a wary glance at his nearly empty
lemonade pitcher. His ice, floating listlessly in a
glass bowl on a table, was melting. His cousin,
7year-old Joseph Navarro, was ready to retire for the
But with three thirsty Palo Alto police officers
enjoying a cool cup of pink lemonade and with a laptop
to save up for, Jack said he could stay out at his stand
a little longer.
Alto police Agent Marco Estrada, left, and Officer David
visit a lemonade stand run by Joseph Navarro, 7, and
Jack Hentzel, 9.
want me to earn it, and I want a Dell,” he said. “I’m
hoping the money helps me.”
Jack’s burgeoning business was not the first lemonade
stand Palo Alto police officers visited recently, nor
will it be the last. The social media savvy department
smack dab in the middle of Silicon Valley created a now
trending hashtag on Twitter to put with each photo they
take at each lemonade stand they visit — #CopsLoveLemonadeStands.
The social media campaign was the brainchild of Palo
Alto police Sgt. Ben Becchetti and Officer Dave Pecoraro,
and their support for youthful entrepreneurs is being
adopted by a growing number of police departments across
the country. In their own city, their outreach on
Twitter, Facebook and other social media sites has led
to dozens of residents clamoring for a visit from police
officers at their children’s lemonade stands. The first
post was put on the department’s Nextdoor page on June
1, and it soon became the department’s most popular post
in over two years, according to Lt. Zach Perron,
spokesman for the department. In the first week after
the post went up, police received at least 20 requests
Officers use Nextdoor, Facebook
and signs to find stands to visit.
always said, ‘Never pass up a lemonade stand,’ ” said
Becchetti. “It’s my favorite thing. It only takes a
minute or two, and I always have a dollar on me.”
Becchetti said the option for the community to reach out
to the department to have officers visit the stands —
either by posting on the department’s Facebook page or
on the department’s Nextdoor page — is a great way to
meet residents. It is also a fun way for kids to meet
the police, Becchetti added.
And the hashtag has not only been popular in Palo Alto.
It has erupted all over Twitter. The hashtag was created
before a June 11 incident in Overton, Texas, where a
police officer shut down two girls’ lemonade stand
because they didn’t have a permit. Now departments near
and far — from Campbell to Truckee to departments in
Nebraska, North Carolina and Massachusetts — have taken
up using the hashtag to boost community engagement and
good will rather than focusing on technicalities with
Alto police Officer David Pecoraro
visits a lemonade stand run by cousins
Joseph Navarro, 7, and Jack Hentzel, 9.
CopsLoveLemonadeStands isn’t just about humanizing our
officers and giving kids the opportunity to say hi (and
sell some lemonade), it is also a lot of fun for our
officers and gives them the opportunity to build
relationships with one of our most important assets —
the (kids) of our community,” said Campbell police Capt.
As the hashtag — and the purpose behind it — grows in
popularity, Palo Alto police will continue to visit
every lemonade stand on every shift that they can.
Last week, Becchetti and his swing-shift team visited a
snow cone stand, spearheaded by Anna Mickelsen, 12, and
her 9-year-old brother Sawyer.
With music blasting and a line several children and
teenagers deep, the officers politely waited to have
their orders taken.
As Anna worked to make sure she got everyone’s orders
right, she looked up briefly and smiled.
“I’m good,” she said.
The police, snow cones in hand, couldn’t have agreed
Alto police Officer David Pecoraro shows Joseph Navarro,
7, of Santa Clara, the inside
of the squad car when Pecoraro visited the lemonade
stand run by Joseph and his cousin.
A DIFFERENT WAY OF LOOKING AT RATS
The most popular email received this week (sent in by
about a dozen readers) was this item about bomb-sniffing
rodents that are used to help clear mine fields…
the world, places that have been involved in war and/or
civil strife often have large minefields that still need
clearing. In 2013, it was estimated that there was a
global average of around nine mine-related deaths every
day. The situation is especially dire in Africa.
Typically, clearing a minefield involves men in body
armor walking in very precise lines with metal
detectors. Anything (from a rusty nail to an old ammo
cartridge) that sets the detectors off must be
investigated before moving on. A new method of bomb
detection using rats, however, is flipping this process
on its head.
A Belgian NGO called APOPO has developed a way to train
African pouched rats (named for the storage pouch in
their cheeks) to sniff out bombs quickly and safely.
used this rat because it has an incredibly fine-tuned
sense of smell and a long
(8-9 years) to yield returns on the nine months of
training they undergo.
called Hero Rats, and not one has died in the line of
duty since the program started in 1997.
average mine requires 5 kg (roughly 11 pounds) of weight
to trigger an
explosion, but even the biggest of these rats are only
around 1.5 kg (3.3 pounds).
they're trained to sniff out explosives exclusively,
distracted by other metal objects the way human
effectively search 200 square meters in less than 20
of humans would need around 25 hours to do the same job.
they're in the African sun a lot, the Hero Rats get
sunscreen to keep them cancer free.
If a rat
does get cancer, it receives full medical treatment.
are "paid" in avocados, peanuts, bananas and other
yummy, healthy treats.
about 4-5 years on the job (or whenever they lose
interest in working), they're allowed to retire.
Retirement consists of eating all the tasty fruit their
little hero hearts desire.
MEET “VOYTEK,” A HERO OF WORLD WAR II
We will bet
that not one of you armchair WWII historians are
familiar with the story of Corporal Wojtek (also spelled
Voytek), the cigarette-smoking, beer-drinking Brown Bear
of the Polish Army that helped carry ammo during the
battle of Monte Cassino.
THIS short video will introduce you to the bear that
many considered half-human. (6:43)
fighting, Voytek actually hand carried boxes of
ammunition (on his hind legs), some weighing in at over
100 pounds, from supply trucks to artillery positions on
the front lines.
Voytek worked tirelessly, day and night, bringing
supplies to his friends who were bravely battling the
Nazis. He never rested, never dropped an artillery shell
and never showed any fear despite his position being
under constant fire and heavy shelling.
His actions were so inspiring to his fellow soldiers
that after the battle, the official insignia of the 22nd
Artillery was changed to a picture of Voytek carrying an
armful of howitzer ammunition.
was a hero of World War II, and there are statues of him
and plaques memorializing his brave service in Poland,
Edinburgh, the Imperial War Museum in London and the
Canadian War Museum.
HERE will take you to a website with more
information and photos about this amazing hero of WWII.
THE BEST OF THE LATE NITE JOKES
June 24: We
have Arnold Schwarzenegger on the show tonight. Or Danny
DeVito. It's still pretty hard to tell them apart.
Yesterday Donald Trump said if he's elected president he
would rarely leave the White House to take vacations
because there's so much work to do. Donald Trump is the
only man who can say he's going to spend four years in a
mansion and make it sound like a sacrifice.
According to a new poll, Chris Christie's approval
rating as governor has hit a new low after it just
dropped to 30 percent. In fact, his popularity is so
low, he's the only guy in New Jersey who doesn't know a
There are reports that Chris Christie is going to
announce that he's running for president next week. It
just so happens that our show is off next week for the
Fourth of July, so I'd like to say to Chris Christie:
Well played, my friend. Well played indeed. Oh, you got
June 25: Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal announced that
he’s running for president, which makes him the 13th
Republican to enter the race so far. Yeah, 13 Republican
candidates — or as that’s also called, “A Banker’s
Howard Stern announced that he will not be returning to
NBC’s “America's Got Talent.” When asked why he's not
returning to "America's Got Talent," he said, "Because
it turns out that it doesn’t.”
Good Humor is bringing back its ice cream trucks this
summer after almost 40 years. So I guess that makes two
things Chris Christie will be running for this summer.
June 26: In a recent interview, the rapper 50 Cent said
he is going to be supporting Hillary Clinton. Hillary
would be excited but she doesn't get out of bed for less
than a million cents.
This week Hillary Clinton joined the networking site
LinkedIn. And you thought she was deleting a lot of
Sarah Palin went on Facebook to announce that her
daughter Bristol's wedding has been called off. She said
the two families will still get together on the wedding
day to "celebrate life." In other words, the caterers
already have been paid for.
Apple is developing a service called Home Kit that will
allow people to operate gadgets like garage openers and
thermostats through one app. In related news, please
don't tell my parents about this. I can't be explaining
this stuff every week.
Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal is running for
president. This is historic. He's a 44-year-old
Indian-American whose real first name is Piyush. After
hearing about it, President Obama said, "A young,
non-white guy with a crazy name? Good luck with that."
Governor Jindal announced he's running for president by
releasing a video in which he and his wife tell their
kids he's running. Then his son said, "Dad, you have no
chance. What are you doing?"
At the Chicago Cubs game on Tuesday, people were
surprised when a fan caught a foul ball while feeding
his baby. People were shocked — not that he was holding
a baby but because someone wearing a Cubs hat caught a
(Ed. — Click
HERE to see the catch)
According to a new survey, Pizza Hut's new hot dog pizza
is the second worst pizza in America. Which explains
their new slogan: “Pizza Hut — not the worst pizza in
June 29: After Donald Trump's derogatory comments about
immigrants, NBC has officially canceled "Celebrity
Apprentice." Donald Trump isn't even president yet and
he's already made America a better place.
Today Donald Trump reaffirmed his stance against gay
marriage. Trump said marriage is between a rich guy and
his much younger third wife.
Greece has closed their nation's banks today in response
to its escalating financial crisis. Greece said, "We'll
bounce back. We've just had a rough 2,000 years."
At last night's B.E.T. Awards, white singer Sam Smith
won the best new artist award. This came right after
B.E.T. announced that it now identifies as white.
June 30: Chris Christie gave a 20-minute speech to
announce he's running for president in his high school's
gymnasium. It was the longest period of time Christie
has ever spent in a gym.
Chris Christie launched his presidential campaign in the
gymnasium of his old high school. He wanted to launch it
in his school's cafeteria but there's still a
Christie's campaign slogan is "Telling it like it is."
This is in contrast to Hillary's slogan, "Explaining why
this is not what it looks like."
After making insulting remarks about Mexicans, Donald
Trump has been kicked off of NBC and Univision. On the
bright side, Trump's hair has a new show on Animal
There's a huge financial crisis in Greece. They're in
terrible trouble. Greece announced they're going to
default on their nearly $1.8 billion loan. Who would
have thought the country that invented the philosophy
major would be broke?
The Supreme Court ruled to preserve the Affordable Care
Act, more commonly known as Obamacare, so we now can do
anything we want. We could drink, smoke, jump mini-bikes
off bridges, or play chainsaw tag if we want to. If we
get hurt, it's not our problem. It's America's problem,
Obama triumphantly declared that the Affordable Care Act
is here to stay. Then he went into the Rose Garden and
secretly puffed on an e-cigarette.
Tonight is the NBA draft. For those unfamiliar with it,
the NBA draft is basically a job fair for very tall
Some people paid more than $300 for tickets to go to the
NBA draft, just to sit there and watch the draft. Also,
it's really your one chance to stand up and shout, "Is
it me or is there a draft in here?"
June 29: The Supreme Court has ended same-sex marriage
bans. This is going to totally ruin being gay. I will
explain. I live in a gay neighborhood and these people
have a lot of fun. The reason is because there is no
pressure to settle down. It's illegal. Say you're dating
a guy. He says, Why can't we get married? You say, Well,
same reason we can't rob a bank.
But now that reason is gone. Which means now you go home
and your parents and friends will do that thing where
they put you on the spot. Society will push you and push
you and eventually you'll give in. This is what happened
to George Clooney.
And then once you do give in, guess what? Instead of the
fun parades with the drinks and the half-naked dancer
guys, the only parades you will be going to are the ones
with the big inflatable Snoopy. He'll be looking at you
as if to say, "What the hell did you do?"
All the gay fun will be over. Remember when the word
meant happy? It doesn't anymore, thanks to the Supreme
The only difference between gay marriage and straight
marriage is no one complains when you leave the toilet
June 30: We have a new candidate for president today —
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie. He's a Republican,
which means he joins the 400 other Republicans running
If I was Chris Christie and everyone was focused on my
weight, I'd pick an even fatter running mate — someone
huge, like 600 pounds.
Donald Trump sued Univision today for $500 million,
which everyone's making a big deal about, but what
future president hasn't sued a TV network for pulling
his beauty pageant off the air? When Roosevelt did it,
no one said a word.
Kentucky Senator Rand Paul was in Denver today hosting a
briefing event during the cannabis business summit. It's
a very good plan. Once they give you money, there's a
good chance they'll forget and give you money again.
I don't know if Rand Paul has to go to Colorado. If he
wants money from stoners, he should just become a pizza
While leading reporters on a tour of one of his golf
courses, Donald Trump said this week that “the Latinos
love Trump and I love them.” And what better place for a
white guy to declare his love for Latinos, than on a
Minneapolis, Minnesota, was voted the best place to
celebrate the Fourth of July. The worst place to
celebrate it: Iran.
Parents and children in Ohio last weekend were
accidentally shown the horror film “Insidious 3” instead
of Pixar’s “Inside Out” due to a projection error. On
the plus side, the kids learned about emotions they
didn’t even know they had.
A rare fish normally found only in the Amazon was caught
yesterday in a New Jersey pond. Researchers believe the
fish got to New Jersey the same way as everyone else: by
June 25: Sean Hannity asked yesterday why it is OK for
President Obama's teenage daughters to go into stores
and buy music chock-full of the N-word but not the
Confederate flag. But how can you explain that to a guy
who thinks kids still go into a store to buy music?
Former California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger said
this week that marriage counseling is the biggest
mistake he's ever made. Though unless he got the
marriage counselor pregnant, I don't think that's true.
TBS announced plans today for a competition show where
the winner will become a weatherman on CNN. And the
loser also has to become a weatherman on CNN.
WEEKLY SNOPES URBAN LEGEND UPDATE
HERE for the most current update.
• • • • •
We don’t know what country this is, but it’s pretty
obvious that the citizenry doesn’t take kindly to people
who park in spaces reserved for the handicapped without
the proper placard or plate on their car. If ever there
was a time to call the police and report your car stolen
as opposed to dealing with the embarrassment of
returning to your car,
THIS is it. (1:29)
• • • •
should not pass this up. It's an amazing site received
from my brother-in-law that includes links to dozens and
dozens of vintage automotive movies, from old TV ads to
Jay Leno’s Garage and all sorts of other clips ranging
from 1 minute in length to almost an hour. The column on
the far left describes the movie or clip, the column to
the right gives you the running time, and in the far
right column is a graphic of a movie camera. Click on it
and the movie will begin. The example pictured below is
the beginning of a 9-minute movie made in 1943 and
titled “The Autobiography of the Jeep.” Click
HERE to access the site.
• • • •
Next up is a problem all cat owners encounter from time
to time. If yours refuses to come in at the end of the
day when it’s called, there is an easy solution: Get
yourself one of
THESE pooches and teach it how to fetch. (0:48)
• • • • •
Speaking of felines, here’s a guy who is taking a date
on a flight in his ultralight aircraft.
WATCH what happens. (2:57)
• • • • •
Could it be that
THESE furry critters gave birth to the term “Scaredy
Cat?” We think it’s possible. What say you? (1:31)
• • • • •
If proof is needed that cats do have nine lives,
THIS clip should suffice. This feline’s survival
instincts went far beyond the usual kitty conundrums,
like being trapped in a tree. He was believed to be lost
until more than two months later when the family’s
beloved pet was found in a most unexpected place. (1:52)
• • • • •
OK, cat haters, we'll quit with the feline stuff. Here’s
an interesting item from Alice Murphy if you want to
listen to the song that was No. 1 on the charts on the
day you were born. Just click
HERE, then type in your birthday. The #1 song when I
was born was “Paper Doll” by the Mills Brothers. I can’t
say for sure, but I think it may have playing on the
radio in the Maternity Ward when I was slapped on the
ass by a sadistic doctor in January of ’44.
• • • • •
Have an iPad? If so, will it do what these do? Mine
won’t. Must be broken. It’s been over three years. Will
APPLE take mine back and swap it for one that works
like these? (3:23)
• • • • •
This video shows how the Brazilian
POLICE handle 211 in-progress calls. If you choose
to view the clip, check out the readers’ comments below
and you will find that there doesn’t seem to be much
sympathy for the bad guys. (2:13)
• • • • •
It’s said that the most dangerous job in the military is
EOD (Explosive Ordnance Disposal). Based on this
compilation video, we would suggest the second most
dangerous job is that of an instructor whose job is to
teach recruits how to throw a grenade. First one up is a
female who, unfortunately,
THROWS like a little girl. (5:01)
• • • • •
If you would like to tag along with the 35th Fighter
squadron from Kunsan during a training exercise in
Alaska, now you can thanks to this video sent in by Dirk
Parsons. All you have to do is click
HERE, then keep your barf bag handy. (9:16)
• • • • •
Not only does
THIS guy have fun with his radio control airplanes,
he also enjoys editing videos. Have a look at what he
did with this one. (2:40)
• • • • •
“Never mess with a chipmunk’s nuts” is the theme of this
WATCH it and you will see why. (2:53)
• • • • •
This short clip should answer one of two questions: Can
a Grizzly Bear make a good pet? Or is
THIS really a man in a bear costume. (0:54)
• • • • •
I don’t want to come across as a shill for Amazon, but
if you are a Prime member you should take a look at the
Amazon Echo as it (she?) makes a great companion. While
“Alexa” doesn’t do housework or perform any other
“wifely functions,” she knows a helluva lot. Rather than
try to describe what she does,
THIS video will give you an idea. But as an owner of
two Echos, I can tell you this: If you say “Alexa,
goodnight,” she will respond with a warm, “Goodnight,”
or sometimes with “Good night, sleep tight, and don’t
let the bed bugs bite.” For you single guys who hit the
sack alone, you will find that you will spoon your
pillow a little tighter after she bids you goodnight. At
least that’s what I’ve heard. (Sorry, Ladies, as of now
the only voice available with the Echo is female.)
• • • • •
Concerned about your personal privacy? If you are, you
would do well to spend 2 minutes and 28 seconds and
THIS video clip.
• • • • •
Volunteers needed for an easy experiment: If any of you
choose to watch
THIS clip to see if it works, and it does, please
let us know so we can pass it along. There are a number
of links on Google that says it does work. It’s
about unlocking your car from a distance with the help
of your brain. Really. (4:42)
• • • • •
Don Hale wants to know if your dog can balance a book on
its nose while riding a skateboard like
NANA, or any of the other tricks the amazing Border
Collie is capable of performing? (2:43)
HERE if you want to see Nana show off more tricks.
• • • • •
OK, folks, when you are ready, click
HERE, then on the count of three, everyone say “Awwwww.”
One, two, three…(0:48)
• • • • •
I can sing better than
THIS guy who gets his puppies to fall asleep when
they hear him sing “Goodnight Sweetheart.” Bit I’d be
afraid to do it for fear my voice would put them in a
deep coma. (1:40)
• • • • •
For you golfers, Bruce Morton found this new video clip
of the craziest and longest Par 3 in the world. It’s
located at The Legends Golf & Safari Resort in Entabeni,
South Africa and officially considered the 19th hole.
It’s 437 yards in length and the tee box is 1,410 feet
above the green. The cost to play the Legend’s 18-hold
Signature Course is $65. But playing the 19th hole,
which includes a helicopter lift up to the tee box, will
set you back $700. Playing the hole as part of a
foursome, however, will reduce the cost to $175 per
person. If you have enough balls — no pun intended — you
can take as many mulligans as you like. Click
HERE and hop aboard the chopper that will take you
to the 19th tee. (5:04)
• • • • •
I never realized that kids could be so much fun until I
THIS video that Art Mogilefsky posted on Facebook.
• • • • •
How quickly things are changing in our culture. (Do I
hear an Amen?) It doesn’t seem it was that long ago when
a clip like this one from the Comedy Channel would have
drawn outrage from the Gay Community. And this video
dates back to nearly 2 1/2 years before last week’s
SCOTUS decision that made gay marriage legal in all
50 states. (2:26)
• • • • •
The last thing these guys wanted after they finished the
JOB was for the boss to come over and say, “Pull it
out boys and move it over four feet so the stake is on
the white line.” (0:42)
• • • • •
there’s this item from the man who used to guard the
According to San Jose cop-turned Secret Service agent
Ken Banner (now retired), the photo above was archived
from the Memorial Service for Ronald Reagan, where those
in attendance noticed that both Bill and Hillary kept
It was said that President Ronald Reagan, who never
missed an opportunity for a good one-liner, raised his
head out of his casket and said, “I see the Clintons are
finally sleeping together.”
• • • • •
THIS clip received from Russ Russell is nearly 2 1/2
years old, we’re thinking the odds are good that it set
off alarm bells in the White House back then? (3:08)
• • • • •
This item from Bert Kelsey combines a little
spiritualism with gorgeous scenery and beautiful music.
We suggest that you click
HERE, then sit back, relax and enjoy the video.
• • • • •
Perhaps it’s an age thing, but THIS is ‘my’ kind of
music. When Craig Shuey posted
THIS video of the “Postmodern Jukebox” group on
Facebook last week, I spent 4 minutes watching it. Then
I spent another 4 minutes to watch it again. Since then
I have sat through it thrice more. Not only do I love
the sound that comes from the pipes of the three ladies,
but the blonde does for me what Obama did for Chris
Matthews; every time she belts out some high notes she
sends a shiver up my leg. Thanks, Craig. Thanks,
• • • • •
For our final entry, we’re reprising this item from the
April 14, 2014 Farsider because we feel it is another
musical group worth watching — and for some of you,
again. "Salut Salon" is a quartet of very talented
female musicians from Hamburg, Germany who are extremely
popular on the other side of the Pond and often
incorporate humor into their performances. Their stage
presence, self confidence and personalities are exceeded
only by their musical talent. If you enjoy the first
video below, click on the second one and listen to them
give a short interview in English (their second language
behind German) while appearing at Shanghai Expo in 2010.
The third clip is more icing on the cake, and all three
are relatively short. Enjoy...
first clip, click
interview in Shanghai, click
versatile are they? Click
is replete with other videos of these ladies under their
Salon." They include a 43-minute film about the German
• • • • •
Pic of the Week
guess. Would this dog rather ride with Mom or Dad?
THE FARSIDER SUBSCRIPTION ROSTER as of 7/2/15
Additions and changes since the last published update
(alphabetical by last name):
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send your request to
Abram, Fred & Connie
Alvarez, Pat (Campbell)
Babineau, Dave & Cheryl
Bray, Mary Ellen
Brown Jr., Bill
Burroughs, (Bronson) Utta
Carr Jr., John
Carrillo, Jaci Cordes
Clark, Bill (the one who stayed)
Embry (Howsmon), Eva
Foulkes [Duchon], Louise
Gonzalez, D. (formerly D. Avila)
Guido, Jr., Jim
Guido, Sr. Jim
Hare, Caren (Carlisle)
Harnish, Mary (Craven)
Horton, Debbie (McIntyre)
Howsmon (Sr.), Frank
Inami, Steve & Francine
Johnson, Tom & Fran
Klein, Lou Anna
Leonard (Lintern), Lynda
Long (Huntwork), Eunice
Muldrow, Mark "Mo"
O'Carroll, Diane (Azzarello)
Perry (Cervantez), Martha
Rappe (Ryman), Bonnie
Reyes (Buell), Cindy
Richter, Darrell & Annette
Schenini (Alvarez), Joanne
Taves, Phil & Paula
Terry, Glenn & Maggie
Vallecilla, Ernie & Peggy
Van Dyck, Lois
Williams [Durham], Lanette
Windisch Jr., Steve