The Farsider is an independent
publication that is not affiliated with the San Jose Police Benevolent
Assn. The SJPBA has allowed the Farsider to be included on its website solely for the convenience of
the retired San Jose Police community. The content of this newsletter does not represent or reflect
the views of the San Jose Police Benevolent Association's Board of Directors or its membership.
Steve Solidarios is a Forensic Video Examiner and Photographer with the San Jose Police Department Robbery Unit. In his 16 year career, Steve has been a constant figure at all major crime scenes, investigations, and Department related events. Always the Man Behind the Camera, he has shown dedication in his profession and with his true passion, being a father to his four daughters, ages 10 to 17.
Steve recently suffered a severe heart attack that resulted in quadruple bypass surgery. He is currently hospitalized in the Intensive Care Unit and is expected to have a long recovery.
Steve's Law Enforcement Family has put together this Fund (#heartforsteve) to help with the financial burdens that have been created by his unexpected condition. The money raised will help support his family during this long recovery.
Please click HERE to make a donation online.
Remember to stop by the POA office and buy your SF Giants tickets or click HERE to email Joanne to reserve tickets.
PBA MEETS NEXT WEDNESDAY
Next Wednesday is the third one of the month, and that means the PBA will be holding its monthly membership dinner meeting. The bar will be pressed into service at 5 p.m. following by a buffet dinner around an hour later.
Members are welcome to bring a prospective member in the form of a retired officer, active officer or affiliated LEO as a guest. If they choose to join, they can do so by contacting Secretary/Treasurer Larry “Lumpy” Lundberg. Dues are $8/month for a retired SJPD Officer, $12/month for an active SJPD Officer, and $12/month for an affiliated LEO such as the FBI, CHP, S/O, etc.
THE TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS OF SAN JOSE AND THE SJPD
As of press time, it seems that all is quiet on the Western Front. And at City Hall and the Eastside, too.
I would appreciate an inclusion in the next Farsider expressing our humble gratitude to everyone who reached out with support for Gloria as she battles with ALS and we struggle to keep up with the great cost associated with her care. We are very, very grateful.
Gloria & Don Hale <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Donations still are being accepted to help Don and his family cope with the expenses related to Gloria’s treatment for ALS. Click HERE to help.
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I want to ask/plead for help regarding an old 1965 Dodge Polara police car.
Five years ago I bought it up in Winters. Got it running, found an older 413 cid, did the brakes, etc.
Now I've concluded that it likely was used by the Fremont PD. Chrysler records show it was shipped to "Dave Green Dodge" in Fremont in February 1965.
This is based partly on the peculiar roof mounted lights and antenna. Photos of FPD from 1966 show an identical vehicle.
All knowing and well connected one, do you or any of your readers have a contact up there in Fremont?
I would like to let them have first crack at this car.
Will Rendler <email@example.com>
A few of our readers (including our Webmaster) worked as a cop in Fremont many moons ago, Will. Perhaps one of them who still has contacts at FPD will read this and reach out to you.
JUNE VANGUARD NOW AVAILABLE
Dear Vanguard Reader,
The June 2017 eVanguard is now online. Hard copies of the magazine should be arriving in the mail soon. Please click HERE to go to the POA website, then click on the image of the newsletter.
THIRTEEN DAYS AND COUNTING
IS STEVE D’ARCY AFTER A THIRD CAREER AS A TV ACTOR?
The last we heard about retired Capt. Steve D’Arcy he was Placer County’s Undersheriff. Hadn’t really thought much about him over the years until he showed up on the Investigation Discovery Channel last (Wed.) night in a TV series called “Reasonable Doubt.” The episode — “Flesh and Blood” — is scheduled to air again at 7:00 a.m. this coming Sunday, June 18th. Has Steve aged over the years since he last wore a San Jose police uniform? Set your DVR and judge for yourself.
A PEEK INSIDE IVAN COMELLI’S FACEBOOK PAGE
Retired Capt. Ivan Comelli reposted this item this week that initially appeared on his “Vintage San Jose Police” Facebook page on Sept. 11, 2013. We should note that Bill’s facial expression does not reflect his post SJPD/SJFD career as an NFL official, even though there may be some players and a coach or two who might disagree. ;-)
IT TRULY IS A BIZZARO WORLD
If you were a Seinfeld fan you may recall an episode titled Bizarro World where the unimaginable not only became imaginable, it also became reality, at least for the 30 minutes the episode aired. Looks like we have bizarro case right here in the Bay Area. Check out this S.F. Chronicle article…
Recruiting Ex-cons to Oversee Cops
By Matier & Ross
June 14, 2017, San Francisco Chronicle
Former cops need not apply, but former inmates are being encouraged by the city of Oakland to apply for slots on the city’s new police commission.
A notice recently posted on the city’s website for would-be commissioners says, “Must be an Oakland resident. Must be at least 18 years old. Formerly incarcerated individuals encouraged to apply.”
Barry Donelan, head of the Oakland Police Officers Association, said recruiting ex-cons to help select the chief and discipline officers for misconduct was “extremely distasteful.”
And what really bugs the cops is that the voter-approved measure creating the commission bars current and former Oakland cops from serving, as well as police union employees.
Selection panel member Tal Klement, who works as a deputy public defender in San Francisco, said the ballot measure’s backers thought it was important to consider ex-cons.
He said encouraging former convicts to apply to oversee the police was in keeping with the spirit of Measure LL, the initiative that created the oversight commission.
“Part of the measure itself said they were looking for people who had experienced police contact, and obviously if you are formally incarcerated, you have experienced police conduct and potential misconduct as well,” Klement said.
The nine commission members and two alternates will be selected by the mayor and the eight-member civilian selection panel. At least one of the picks must be a retired judge or lawyer with trial experience in criminal law or police misconduct.
The deadline for applications is Tuesday.
City Council President Larry Reid said the invitation for former cons to apply was news to him. But he added, “We’ll probably wind up with one.”
STORIES OF THE WEEK
The Fair and Balanced Mainstream Media
Two boys in Boston were playing baseball when one of them was attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy ripped a board off a nearby fence, wedged it into the dog's collar and twisted it, breaking the dog's neck.
A newspaper reporter from the Boston Herald witnessed the incident and rushed over to interview the boy. The reporter began entering data into his laptop, beginning with the headline:
"Brave Young Red Sox Fan Saves Friend From Jaws Of Vicious Animal"
"But I'm not a Red Sox fan," the little hero interjected.
"Sorry" replied the reporter. "But since we're in Boston, Mass, I just assumed you were."
Hitting the delete key, the reporter began:
“Hillary Clinton Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Dog Attack"
"But I'm not a Clinton fan either," the boy said.
The reporter says, "I assumed everybody in this state was either for the Red Sox or Hillary Clinton. What team or person do you like?"
"I'm a Texas Ranger fan and I really like Donald Trump” the boy replied.
Hitting the delete key, the reporter begins again…
"Arrogant Little Conservative Bastard Kills Beloved Family Pet"
• • • • •
of a Golfing Couple
To celebrate their 50th anniversary, a husband booked a round of golf for his wife and himself on a trip to the famous Myrtle Creek golf links.
On the third tee, the husband hesitated teeing off and turned slowly to his wife and said, "Darling, I have to confess something. Twenty years ago I had a brief affair. It meant nothing. I hope you can forgive me."
His wife was hurt, but said, "Dearest, those days are long gone. What we have now is far more valuable. I forgive you."
They embraced and kissed.
On the seventeenth tee, the husband was starting his back swing when the wife blurted out, "I'm sorry darling, but since we're being honest with each other, I have something to tell you too. Fifty-two years ago I had a sex change operation. I was a man before I met you. I hope you can forgive me."
The husband froze at the top of his back swing, then threw a fit. He slammed the driver into the ground, kicked the ball into the woods, broke all his clubs one by one, then started on hers. He screamed and ranted, "You liar! You cheat! You despicable deceiver! How could you? I trusted you with all my heart and soul...and all these years you've been playing from the ladies' tees!"
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A 6-year-old and his 5-year-old brother are upstairs in their bedroom.
"You know what?" says the 6-year-old. "I think it's about time we started cussing."
The 5-year-old nods his head in approval.
The 6-year-old continues, "When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with the word 'hell' in it and you say something with the word 'ass.' "
The 5-year-old agrees.
When their mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6-year-old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."
WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up and runs upstairs crying his eyes out with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step. His mom locks him in his room and shouts, "You can just stay there until I let you out!"
She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 5-year-old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"
"I don't know " he blubbers, "but you can bet your sweet ass it won't be Cheerios."
• • • • •
Old Popsicle Ploy
Bill and Marsha decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 8 year-old son in their apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities.
He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation.
"There's a car being towed from the parking lot." he shouted.
A few moments passed. "An ambulance just drove by."
A few moments later, "Looks like the Anderson's have company," he called out.
"Matt's riding a new bike....."
"The Coopers are having sex!"
Startled, Mom and Dad shot up in bed! Dad cautiously asked, "How do you know they are having sex?"
"Because Jimmy Cooper is standing out on his balcony with a Popsicle too.”
THE BEST OF THE LATE NITE JOKES
June 6 — 12
June 6: A highly classified document was just leaked, and it suggests that Russia may have hacked into our voting systems before the election. You could tell the report was "highly classified" because it was marked, "Don’t Show Trump."
It turns out Russia actually hacked the company that makes our voting machines. Which explains why anyone who pressed on "Hillary Clinton" heard a voice go, "Try again."
The NSA contractor who leaked the document is a woman named Reality Winner. When he was asked if he had any contact with the leaker, Trump said, "Nope, I’m TOTALLY out of touch with Reality."
Trump’s been causing a lot of problems with the things he’s tweeted recently, but the White House says he isn’t concerned with being politically correct. Then they clarified their statement and said he isn't even concerned about being correct.
The game show “Cash Cab” is coming back to the Discovery Channel! It’s a show where the driver asks passengers questions from the second they get into the car until they reach their destination — or as it’s called now, “Uber.”
June 7: President Trump tweeted that he’s nominating Christopher Wray to be the new director of the FBI, and called him “a man of impeccable credentials.” Wray was like, “Thanks! Can I put that on my resume when you fire me?”
Former FBI Director James Comey released the opening statement for his testimony tomorrow, and he says Trump once invited him to dinner, and it turned out to just be the two of them. Even worse, he made them sit on the same side of the booth.
A bar in D.C. is opening at 9:30 a.m. tomorrow for Comey’s hearing and will give everyone a free round of drinks each time Trump tweets about it. Which means everyone will be blacked out around 9:31 a.m.
Today is Vice President Mike Pence’s 58th birthday. But the White House is going to leave the decorations up all week so they can also celebrate Pence’s inauguration.
Obama visited George and Amal Clooney at their home in the U.K. right before Amal gave birth to their twins. Man, I knew Obamacare was good — but didn’t know he actually showed up to deliver your babies!
June 8: A big heat wave is expected to hit New York City this weekend. They say that we’ll be sweating like Trump while he watched the James Comey hearing.
Today, former FBI Director James Comey testified in Congress, but he would not say in the public hearing if he thinks Trump colluded with Russia. Then he said, “But I CAN do this.” [nods frantically]
Despite Comey’s testimony, a White House spokesperson said today is a regular Thursday at the White House. America was like, “Yeah, that’s what worries us. “
Comey said that he kept memos of his meetings with Trump because he felt that the president may lie about them. Even Trump was like, “Yeah, that sounds like me. Good thinking.”
June 12: Today, a Federal Appeals Court ruled against President Trump’s revised travel ban —- and get this, they even quoted his tweets in their decision. Or as Trump put it, “That counts as a retweet!” (I win!)
After the ruling, White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer said he’s confident that the travel ban is “fully lawful.” Then he was like, “Sorry, I read that wrong — it’s ‘fully awful.’ My mistake.”
Over the weekend, Melania Trump finally moved into the White House. But this is a bad sign — she only brought a week’s worth of clothes.
Right now, New York is in the middle of a heat wave. Temperatures are in the mid-90s. You can tell it’s hot — today, Times Square Elmo passed out BEFORE he could get drunk.
Yesterday, Rafael Nadal won the French Open and became the first man to win 10 titles at any major tournament. When asked what his secret is, he said, “Not having to play Serena Williams.”
June 6: There’s a proposed bill in New York that would allow medical marijuana to be prescribed for menstrual cramps. Which is why millions of men in New York are now saying "it is my time of the month."
Astronomers are saying that a mysterious signal from space was caused by gas surrounding a comet. Of course, the comet is claiming the gas came from its dog.
The owner of the world’s largest private collection of "Star Wars" memorabilia says someone stole $200,000 worth of his collectibles. On the plus side, the collector is reporting that his virginity is still in "mint condition."
After 14 years, the CEO of J. Crew is stepping down. He said he wants to take a Gap year.
A new study found that kids are bullying each other with Donald Trump’s words. The good news is, most kids outgrow Trump’s vocabulary by the time they’re 11.
A new report came out and it says that Donald Trump once shifted charitable donations for sick kids into his own business. Trump referred to the charity as the "Take a Wish Foundation."
June 7: It’s been reported that Attorney General Jeff Sessions has offered to resign. President Trump told him, “That won’t be necessary, I’m taking you down with me.”
Yesterday, Press Secretary Sean Spicer was asked if the president has confidence in his attorney general and he was unable to answer the question. When Spicer was asked if he had any self-respect left, Spicer said, “I can’t answer that question either.”
Former FBI Director James Comey did not want to be left alone in a room with Donald Trump. Which is why James Comey was just named an honorary Miss Universe contestant.
Canadian officials announced they are planning to build up their military. Then they said, “That is, you know, if it’s OK with everybody else.”
In Utah, a woman pulled out two of her son’s teeth in a Walmart bathroom. Or as that procedure will soon be known, “the Trumpcare dental plan.”
In Massachusetts, a medical marijuana dispensary has begun selling marijuana-infused pizza. Or as that’s known, “one-stop shopping.”
June 8: Former FBI Director Comey testified that he met privately with President Trump on February 14th. This is good news for everyone who thought THEY had the worst Valentine’s Day ever.
James Comey testified that every time he thought President Trump was lying, he wrote it down. Which explains why Comey was just rushed to the hospital for carpal tunnel syndrome.
Today during the televised hearings, Senator Dianne Feinstein told Comey, “You’re big, you’re strong.” Then she said, “I’ll continue the rest of my statement in the closed session.”
House Speaker Paul Ryan defended Donald Trump’s behavior, saying, “The president’s new at this.” Ryan said, “And by ‘this’ I mean ‘following the law.’”
June 12: First lady Melania Trump has officially, as of today, moved into the White House. In a related story, Donald Trump just moved from the Lincoln Bedroom to the Lincoln Couch.
It’s been reported that President Trump is so worried about protests that he is postponing his upcoming trip to England. Trump is also worried he doesn’t have time to learn the language.
President Trump held a Cabinet meeting today in which each Cabinet member took turns praising the president. After hearing this, Kim Jong Un said, “Man, even I’m not that insecure.”
A new study reveals more than 2 billion people worldwide are overweight or obese. And at any given time, most of them are at Disneyland the same day as you.
Over the weekend in New Jersey, President Trump crashed a wedding. Apparently, the bride said she wanted something old, something new, something borrowed, and something that will probably be out of office by August.
Someone invented a pair of yoga pants that vibrate when your yoga pose is incorrect. Which explains the new trend, “incorrect yoga poses.”
June 6: We are here in the beautiful historic Central Hall Westminster. There is so much amazing history in this building. Gandhi spoke here, Martin Luther King, Jr. gave a speech here, and Winston Churchill spoke in this very hall. And despite all that, they still allowed me to do a show here.
It's nice to be here in England. After two and a half years of presidential campaigning in America, I was, like, "Where can I go for another bitter, soul-sucking election?"
Yes, there's a big election coming up this week in the U.K. Actually, this venue is going to be a polling station. Raise your hand if you didn't even know there was going to be a show here tonight, you were just trying to beat the lines.
We talk about Donald Trump almost every night on this show, but I thought when I came here to London I'd finally get away from him for a little while. And then I get here, and who does he start a fight with? The mayor of London! While I'm in the city! He's following me!
June 7: Today is Election Day in the U.K. Elections here in Great Britain are quite different from what people are used to in the United States. For instance, our elections here are a lot more polite. Granted, a lot of that is due to the fact that Donald Trump is not involved.
For our American viewers who may not know, Theresa May is the prime minister here in Britain, and she’s the one who called for what’s known as a “snap election.” That means it’s just seven weeks of campaigning and it’s over. We Brits hold our elections the way we make love — quickly and without a lot of unnecessary emotion. And followed by an apology.
Just seven weeks to see who gets the most votes, but in America, they are much more thorough. They take two years to see who gets the most votes. Then they elect the person who gets the second most votes. I’m kidding! They elect whoever Vladimir Putin wants.
I’m going to tell you a little bit about our prime minister, Theresa May. Her father was a vicar, so she’s sort of a good girl, a preacher’s daughter, and she was giving an interview the other day where she was asked what was the naughtiest thing she had ever done as a child. And she said — brace yourselves, it’s pretty racy — she used to upset local farmers by running through their wheat fields. That’s her darkest secret from her wild past!
Imagine meeting up with old friends: “Oh, we were crazy back then, weren’t we? Out of control! We really bent some wheat.”
But come on, guys, we should really focus on the issues. Because what Theresa May has done in her past is the yeast of our concerns.
June 8: Everybody here [in the U.K.] is talking about the election. If you’re watching this in Britain, you already know who the prime minister is. If you are watching this in America, you already don’t care who the prime minister is.
We taped this show a day before, so as it stands right now, we don’t know what happened in this election. Meanwhile, in America, their election was last year and they still don’t know what happened in their election
Regardless of that, we can assume Donald Trump has already congratulated the winner in his traditional fashion by insulting them on Twitter.
June 12: It looks like President Donald Trump may be canceling a planned visit to the U.K. due to his lack of support there. He says he doesn’t want to go somewhere where he is extremely unpopular. You know — like 48 out of the 50 states in America.
First lady Melania Trump has officially moved into the White House after five months living apart from her husband. Rumors say Melania was unhappy about moving into the White House but felt more reassured when Trump told her, “Don’t worry, I’m usually at Mar-a-Lago. You will never see me. I’m literally never there.”
Melania has to learn all of the important stuff about living in the White House. You know, where the bathrooms are, how to turn on the air conditioning, how to lie under oath ... the basics.
President Trump was out at the golf course again this weekend, but this time he showed up unannounced at a wedding at the Trump International Golf Club in New Jersey. He went in to the wedding and even took photos with the couple. With Trump there, the bride got everything she needed — something old, something new, something borrowed, and something orange.
June 7: Meanwhile, in Washington, all eyes were off the court and on Congress for the main event tomorrow. Former FBI Director James Comey will appear before the Senate Intelligence Committee to spill the beans on President Trump, which when you think about it on a human level, is pretty great for James Comey. Can you imagine getting fired and then the next thing you know, you get to trash talk your boss in front of the whole world? It’s like a dream come true.
We got a surprise preview today of what Comey plans to share. The Senate released his prepared statement. President Trump was like, “You can prepare statements?”
This is what Comey wrote about his dinner with Trump back in January. He wrote, “He had called me at lunchtime that day, invited me to dinner that night, saying he was going to invite my whole family but decided to have just me this time, with the whole family coming next time. It was unclear from the conversation who else would be at the dinner. Although, I assumed there would be others. It turned out to be just the two of us.” It’s starting to read like chapter one of “Fifty Shades of Orange.” Right? Very sexual.
Comey wrote that at their dinner the president said, “I need loyalty, I expect loyalty.” Which is not an appropriate thing for a president to ask the head of the FBI. Unless he’s planning to do the right thing and marry him, that is.
And Trump told Comey “he had nothing to do with Russia, had not been involved with hookers in Russia, and always assumed he was being recorded when in Russia.” I love that he denied being involved with hookers in Russia. Let me tell you, Bill Clinton must be laughing his [butt] off right now.
So because these were uncomfortable conversations, Comey told Attorney General Jeff Sessions he did not want any future direct communication with President Trump. Melania said the same thing, by the way. It didn’t work out for either of them.
June 6: The Department of Justice charged a federal contractor named Reality Leigh Winner yesterday with leaking classified materials to the press about Russia's meddling in the election. This is a confusing story, so let me try to break it down: Reality Winner leaked information about a reality denier who tried to influence the election to support a reality host who is detached from reality.
Education Secretary Betsy DeVos said that while schools receiving federal funds must abide by federal civil rights laws, the department will not enter decrees on things like LGBT discrimination. Coincidentally, LGBT is also how Betsy DeVos thinks you spell discrimination.
According to reports, four top law firms have turned down requests from the White House to represent President Trump during the Russia investigation. Man, how guilty do have you to be when a lawyer won't even take your case?
Following salmonella outbreaks across the country, the Centers for Disease Control is urging chicken owners to stop snuggling with their birds. Though if you're snuggling with chickens, salmonella is, like, your fifth biggest problem.
June 7: A bar in Washington, D.C., will offer customers a free round of drinks every time President Trump tweets about former FBI Director James Comey during his testimony tomorrow. That story again: A bar in Washington, D.C., is having a going out of business sale.
President Trump today announced Christopher Wray, the attorney for New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie during the Bridge-gate scandal, as the nomination for FBI director. Donald, you’re even giving Chris Christie’s lawyer a job? How cruel are you? I bet you called him personally. “Chris, are you sitting down? I finally decided to hire ... your friend, the lawyer. That’s it, though. No one else. All right. Have a terrible day.”
Forbes has published a new exposé on Eric Trump’s charity golf tournaments, with a former employee saying that President Trump refused to let Eric use Trump properties free of charge, saying, “I don’t care if it’s my son or not. Everybody gets billed.” And he means that — he does not care if Eric is his son.
June 8: During his testimony today, James Comey said that the Trump administration chose to defame him and the FBI with “lies, plain and simple.” A claim that was refuted by both Plain and Simple. [shows photo of Eric and Donald Jr]
President Trump did not post on Twitter during James Comey’s Senate testimony today. Well, he thought he did, but his aide switched his phone with a Speak & Spell.
Producers have announced that they are suspending production of “The Real Housewives of Toronto.” Apparently, the show didn’t work because every argument ended with, “You know what? You’re right. I’m sorry.”
An 88-year-old woman has set a new record for oldest female to stand on the wing of a flying plane. It sounds dangerous, but it’s actually the safest place to be when you fly United.
June 12: First lady Melania Trump and son Barron officially moved into the White House yesterday. Unfortunately, during the move, someone left the gate open and Sean Spicer ran away.
According to a new poll, Americans find former FBI Director James Comey to be more trustworthy than President Trump. Also, more Americans prefer Pepsi to the bottle marked “rat poison.”
Labor Secretary Alexander Acosta spoke to the press this afternoon and pushed for wider use of apprenticeship training for people who “learn better by doing.” Of course learning by doing [shows photo of Trump] doesn’t always work for everyone.
President Trump yesterday called former FBI Director James Comey cowardly. Though, if Comey is the cowardly one, I’m pretty sure Trump is the one without a brain.
A birth control pill has been recalled due to a packaging error that puts placebo pills at the beginning of the pack rather than at the end. So pick up a pack today at Unplanned Parenthood.
June 6: A top-secret NSA report detailed Russian hacking efforts days before the 2016 election. Days before? Come on, Guccifer. That's poor planning. You can't leave your hacking to the last minute. Put some thought into it. No one wants an election you just picked up at Walgreens.
After the hackers gained access to the company's accounts, they then sent "an email to trick local U.S. government employees into opening documents that were 'invisibly tainted with potent malware.'" OK, they sent it to the poll workers. This is how democracy ends, with a fake email sent to the ancient cat lady manning the polling station at your high school gym.
So who really knows who won November 8? I mean, other than Vladimir Putin. I’m a little rusty on my Constitution, but I guess that means ... new election? Sure, let’s have another one! Let’s just get the band back together. Somebody find Jeb and wake him up.
Now, all along, Donald Trump has said the entire Russia story is "fake news." And there is no way to know whether this document that was released was real ... other than the fact that the leaker was immediately arrested. "Fake news, real prison."
June 7: People are calling Comey’s testimony Washington’s Super Bowl, and I hear Animal Planet is even airing the “Puppy Comey Testimony.”
Now, all in all, Comey says he spoke with Trump nine times in four months. In contrast, he spoke with President Obama only twice during his entire tenure, “once in 2015 to discuss law enforcement policy issues, and a second time, briefly, for him to say good-bye in late 2016.” Oh, and a third time a couple weeks ago when he asked if I wanted to just say “screw it” and go hang out with him and Oprah on Richard Branson’s yacht.
Comey also described a dinner he had with Trump just after the inauguration. When he was invited, Comey assumed other people would be attending, of course, but when he showed up, it turned out to be “just the two of them, seated at a small oval table.” Oh, come on. That’s the oldest trick in the book! You invite your FBI director over for a movie saying it’s going to be a “group thing,” then when he shows up, it’s just the two of you. [wiggles eyebrows suggestively] “Can’t make Netflix work, so, you know ...” [in seductive tone] you obstruct justice.
June 8: Happy St. Comey’s Day, everybody! Of course, everybody celebrates Comey Day if their own way. We’re kind of traditionalists around here. We celebrated by watching TV and writing jokes as fast as we can.
Everybody was looking forward to the former FBI director testifying about all the juicy details of his meetings with Donald Trump. Because, remember, Comey wrote everything down. And all his memos are going to be collected in his new children’s book: “James and the Guilty Orange.”
Comey understood Trump had the right to fire him, but he didn’t buy the official explanation — that it was how he treated candidate Hillary Clinton. “That didn’t make sense to me for a whole bunch of reasons, including the time and all the water that had gone under the bridge since those hard decisions had to be made.” I remember that bridge. I think it’s the one they threw Hillary off to see if she was a witch.
WEEKLY SNOPES URBAN LEGEND UPDATE
Click HERE for the most current update.
“Come fly with me” says ol’ Blue Eyes. Thanks, Frank, but after watching THIS I'd rather not! (!:50)
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Any of you sharpshooters want to try and match your shooting skills with THIS lady cop? Be our guest. (1:27)
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If you find yourself in a crowded shopping mall and you see a couple of 1066s toting briefcases like THIS one, give your feet permission to engage warp speed. (0:47)
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Planning a cruise anytime soon. Choose the stormy season and book a room no higher than the 3rd deck and you might be able to enjoy the added benefit of seeing underwater from your stateroom window on occasion, according to THIS clip from Dirk Parsons. (3:45)
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Alice Murphy sent in photos of a number of sculptures that have to be seen to be believed, and even then most of them will leave you scratching your head. Here’s the first in the series. Click HERE to see the rest.
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If this video doesn’t make you feel grateful for your current station in life, you have a problem that even a shrink would be unlikely to fix. Trust us, THIS is worth a look, so pay attention, (7:15(
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It’s time once again to include this amazing tourist site in Hamburg, Germany, for those of you who missed it and/or forgot about it since we last ran it 6 years ago. It’s the largest model railway in the world known as “Miniatur Wunderland,” but it is now so MUCH more. The 220 people who built and maintain the miniature world plan to continue upgrading it for years to come. (4:54)
This is a clip of the latest section that encompasses the world’s largest miniature airport in the world at the Hamburg tourist attraction. Click HERE and prepare to be amazed even more. (5:24)
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The Gentri is a new musical group that may be in the process of hitting it big. If it has anything going against it, it’s their clean-cut look and love for the classics. Have a listen and you might even learn something about Paul McCartney’s SONG, “Let it Be.” (4:31)
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Almost a year ago to the day — on June 12, 2016 — The Queen Mum celebrated her 90th birthday, and members of the Royal Air Force paid homage to her with THIS FlashMob inside the Liverpool Station in London. (6:54)
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Here is an interesting item we passed along a few years ago that may be new to some of you. When you click on the link below, the pic will become much larger, thus allowing you to recognize many of the famous people from the past and present. Then, if you position your mouse (don’t click it) on a person, their name will pop up, And if you then click on the name, information about the individual will be displayed. Care to give it a try? Click HERE to enlarge the painting and see how many people you can identify.
We found Bill Clinton, Winston Churchill, Bill Gates, Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Charlie Chaplain, Mike Tyson, Vladimir Putin, Shirley Temple, and Mark Twain. Can you do better?
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Before you scoff at this virtual ordering of a pizza, think about where we are heading and you may come to the conclusion that as ridiculous as THIS may appear today, it could become reality in the not-so-distant future. (2:15)
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Want to take a flight in the same type of plane that dropped the nukes on Hiroshima and Nagasaki? There are only two B-29 Superfortresses flying today, and this is one of them. If you are an aviation aficionado and/or have an interest in the bombs that brought an end to the Second World War, you may find THIS video of interest. (21:34)
on the bombing of Tokyo can be found HERE.
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Is this 2-minute story about a dog and a dolphin worth a look? Over 9 million YouTube viewers felt it WAS. (1:42)
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You have no doubt heard about the Horse Whisperer and perhaps the Dog Whisperer. Now meet the DEER Whisperer, (1:45)
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Like all of you, we have always wondered what will happen if you hang a tetherball in the forest. Thanks to THIS clip we now know. Who woulda thunk? (2:36)
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Is this a crop circle on the ocean floor made by an alien from another planet? Steve Postier says if you will take three minutes to watch THIS you will find it hard to believe there are people who deny the existence of a Supreme Designer. (3:19)
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For this week’s closer, we have an “in” who can get you discount airline tickets to Bangladesh that includes a pass that will enable you to travel anywhere in the country on its extensive rail system for free, although you may have to shell out a few takas (that’s the Bangladesh dollar) to ride on the roof. No need to thank us now. We can wait until you RETURN from your adventure. (8:14)
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Pic of the Week
Has it really been over 30 years since the Cops-a-Field
series was a regular feature of the original Insider?
THE FARSIDER SUBSCRIPTION ROSTER as of 6/15/17
Additions and changes since the last published update (alphabetical by last name):
Carl Borbons — Added
Heinz Koenig — Deleted
To receive the email address of anyone on the list -- or to receive the roster with all of the email addresses -- send your request to <firstname.lastname@example.org>.
Abram, Fred & Connie
Allen, Chaplain Bryan
Alvarez, Pat (Campbell)
Babineau, Dave & Cheryl
Bray, Mary Ellen
Bridgen, Betty Ruth
Brown Jr., Bill
Burroughs, (Bronson) Utta
Carr Jr., John
Carrillo, Jaci Cordes
Clark, Bill (the one who stayed)
Embry (Howsmon), Eva
Foulkes [Duchon], Louise
Gonzalez, D. (formerly D. Avila)
Guido, Jr., Jim
Guido, Sr. Jim
Hare, Caren (Carlisle)
Harnish, Mary (Craven)
Horton, Debbie (McIntyre)
Howsmon, (Jr.) Frank
Howsmon (Sr.), Frank
Hunter, Dick (via daughter Kim Mindling)
Inami, Steve & Francine
Johnson, Tom & Fran
Klein, Lou Anna
Leonard (Lintern), Lynda
Muldrow, Mark "Mo"
O'Carroll, Diane (Azzarello)
Perry (Cervantez), Martha
Rappe (Ryman), Bonnie
Reyes (Buell), Cindy
Schenini (Alvarez), Joanne
Taves, Phil & Paula
Terry, Glenn & Maggie
Vallecilla, Ernie & Peggy
Van Dyck, Lois
Williams [Durham], Lanette
Windisch Jr., Steve