The Farsider

June 2, 2016

Bill Mattos, Editor and Publisher <bilmat@comcast.net>
Leroy Pyle, Webmaster <leroypyle@sjpba.net>

 

The Farsider is an independent publication that is not affiliated with the San Jose Police Benevolent
Assn. The SJPBA has allowed the Farsider to be included on its website solely for the convenience
of the retired San Jose Police community. The content of this newsletter does not represent or reflect
the views of the San Jose Police Benevolent Association's Board of Directors or its membership.



BRUCE PETERSEN’S CELEBRATION OF LIFE


This is a reminder that a Celebration of Life for Bruce Petersen has been scheduled from 2:30 to 5:00 p.m. on Saturday, June 11th, at the Beatniks Cafe, 1387 East 8th St. in Chico. The family is asking those who plan to attend to RSVP to <trishacoder@gmail.com> so they can get a headcount which will also allow them to provide information on accommodations. Bruce’s daughters have chosen the San Jose Police Chaplaincy for donations in their father’s name. The mailing address is 471 E. Santa Clara St., San Jose, CA 95112.


SJPOA NEWS

June 1st


Last week law enforcement scored a huge victory in Sacramento by working to defeat Senate Bill 1286 that was introduced by Senator Mark Leno (D-San Francisco). The bill would have provided the general public almost unfettered access to investigations and reports involving officer-involved shootings, alleged use-of-force incidents, internal investigations of alleged excessive force, alleged racial profiling, alleged dishonesty, as well as other specified types of alleged misconduct. It sought to give the public access to records now controlled by a judge via Pitchess motions and erode other sections of the Police Officers Bill of Rights that provide reasonable protections of officer's personnel records.
 
This knee-jerk bill was being pushed by the ACLU and newspaper groups intent on sensationalizing incidents to push an anti-cop agenda. Law enforcement's opinion was not sought by the author of the bill and this type of pandering bill exemplifies a reckless disregard for facts and protecting police officers' rights.
 
This anti-law enforcement bill would have been the largest rollback of officer rights we have seen to date. Defeating this bill has been a top priority of PORAC and the SJPOA. SJPOA spent a considerable amount of time in Sacramento with the PORAC leadership educating lawmakers on the devastating impacts this bill would have. PORAC and your POA fully support efforts that build community trust and increase transparency but that is not what this bill was about. SB1286 was an attempt to make a circus out of the police discipline process, make trial attorneys money and sell newspapers, period.
 
The State Senate Appropriations Committee placed SB 1286 in the Suspense file. What that means is that the committee has, without voting on the bill itself, deemed that the bill is not worthy of being considered on the floor of the Senate. As a result, Senator Leno's legislation is DEAD!
 
Be sure that this will not be the last attack on your rights from those that want to bash law enforcement to advance their agenda. Our efforts in Sacramento are more important than ever and we will continue to be an active voice of reason on statewide issues as well as those here locally.
 
Click HERE to read an LA Times Article with more details.


PENSION NEWS
Nada



THE TRIALS & TRIBULATIONS OF SAN JOSE AND THE SJPD
Ditto



MAIL CALL


A week ago I sent Middle Ground an email and challenged him to initiate an opinion for the Mail Call column instead of simply vetting or fact-checking the messages we receive from other readers. He responded with the following:

May 30th

Hi Bill,

I still can't believe that in November we will be electing one of two seriously flawed candidates as our country's new leader: our 45th president.

I've been continuing to read about the presidential campaign and number of false statements these two candidates have made and are continuing to make. It's also been pointed out that a fairly larger number of voters appear to have either fallen for these lies, or say they don't care if their statements are true or not.

Remembering back to when I was a kid, my parents, teachers and minister were all on the same page when it came to the subject of telling a lie. The lesson was that it was morally and ethically wrong. Getting caught telling a lie resulted in being punished, and more importantly to me, the loss of their respect and their trust. Telling the truth mattered a lot back then.

Working the streets, we all dealt with people who lied to us about the crimes they had committed in order to avoid the consequences of their actions. We expected them to lie; they were criminals. But when it came to our nation's leaders, we expected them to be truthful and trustworthy. Of course they haven't always told us the truth, but they haven't made a habit of lying.

Now we're watching an election where the number of lies being told by our presidential candidates far exceeds those told in all of the past campaigns our generation has witnessed. And this time around, rather than backing away from a lie once it has been proven to be just that, these candidates keep repeating several of them them over and over. Apparently they believe that people won't notice or care, and maybe they are right. Not only do our two presidential candidates tell a lot of lies, they appear to be getting a pass from many of us in doing so. After listening to them for nearly 12 months now, we've ended up providing them with the number votes they needed to become their party's nominee.

Looking at the compiled statistics from the fact-checking organization PolitiFact is very revealing. They show just how prevalent lying has become in this election. This organization has investigated and fact-checked a large number of the major statements that both Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump have made during their time in politics. Since Clinton has been at this a lot longer than Trump, she has had more statements to fact-check than he has.

I fully realize that politicians make a fair number of half-true statements that can mislead voters, but most contain at least a modicum of truth. And of course there will always be a few lies thrown in along the way. But what these stats shows is both very sobering and deeply disturbing to me.

~ ~ ~


For Hillary Clinton, these are the fact-checking results by PolitiFact of the major statements she has made.

The number of statements proven to be:

True: 45 (23%)
Mostly True: 55 (27%)
Half True: 42 (21%)
Mostly False: 32 (16%)
False: 23 (11%)
Pants on Fire Lies: 3 (1%)


Of her 201 statements, 58 (28%) were either mostly false, completely false or pants on fire lies.

~ ~ ~


For Donald Trump, these are the fact-checking results by PolitiFact of the major statements he has made.

The number of statements proven to be:

True:: 3 (2%)
Mostly True: 9 (6%)
Half True: 22 (15%)
Mostly False: 22 (15%)
False: 62 (42%)
Pants on Fire Lies: 28 (19%)


Of his 146 statements, 112 (76%) were either mostly false, completely false or pants on fire lies.

Middle Ground

• • • • •

 

May 30th

Bill,

Several publications have recently smeared the reputation of Chris Kyle (American Sniper). Former Texas Governor Rick Perry sheds some light on the subject, and I think it is worth sharing to set the record straight.

Dave
(Walker) <davethreewits@sbcglobal.net>

As we have done in the past, here are the first few paragraphs of the article Dave submitted, which includes a video. Click HERE to read the full story.

Rick Perry: The truth About 'American Sniper' Chris Kyle

By Gov. Rick Perry — Fox News Opinion
FoxNews.com — May 30, 2016


Despite the high regard in which Americans have held the military for generations, there is a lot about the military that those who haven’t served don’t quite understand.

Veterans speak a language peppered with acronyms like DD-214, jargon like “watch your six “ and recollections of shared hardship that can leave others scratching their heads.

That gap of understanding between the protected and their protectors is typically bridged by mutual respect, but can also be a gutter in which liars and character assassins slither.

The most recent snake to peek its head up from the muck is a writing team for a left wing publication whose only knowledge of the military was likely acquired while Googling derogatory slogans to scrawl on protest signs.

In a stunning display of inadequate research, slanted interpretation of valid data and some overly dramatic language, The Intercept, little more than a click-hungry website, took aim at the reputation of a bonafide American hero. Unfortunately, more mainstream publications lofted their accusations into the national consciousness with little thought.

Click HERE to view the video and read the rest of the article.

 

• • • • •

 

May 31st

Bill,

I wasn’t surprised when I saw this video of Telemundo staging a scene at the Trump rally protest in San Diego, but it does make me wonder how much of this goes on that we don’t know about. Likewise with that business about Katy Couric editing a portion of her recent special on gun control that makes 2nd Amendment supporters look dumb.

Talking Points <talking.points@comcast.net)

THIS is the clip that T.P. sent in of the Trump rally protest.

 


As for the controversy over the Katy Couric gun control issue, I found THIS clip that explains what she and/or her producers did in an attempt to discredit her guests who were 2nd Amendment supporters.



NEW RETIREES’ ASSN. NEWSLETTER NOW ONLINE



May 31st


The latest electronic version of the Billy & Spanner is now available on-line. Thank you to all who have agreed to receive the on-line version of the newsletter. You can read the newsletter by clicking HERE.



IT’S ABOUT TIME…

Louisiana: Blue Lives Matter

—State becomes first to add police protections to hate-crime laws—

By Megan Trimble — Associated Press
Mercury News — May 27, 2016


BATON ROUGE, La. — Louisiana has become the first state in the nation to expand its hate-crime laws to protect police, firefighters and emergency medical crews. Democratic Gov. John Bel Edwards, whose family includes four generations of sheriffs, signed the law on Thursday. He said it protects “men and women who put their lives on the line every day.”

“Coming from a family of law enforcement officers, I have great respect for the work that they do and the risks they take to ensure our safety,” Edwards said.

Prosecutors can now seek stronger penalties when first responders are intentionally targeted because of their professions. That’s a departure from the other more essential characteristics hate crime laws protect, such as a victim’s race, religion or gender.

People convicted of felony hate crimes in Louisiana face an additional five years in prison and up to a $5,000 fine. Penalties increase by $500 or up to six months in prison in misdemeanor cases. Some worry that adding jobs to the list weakens these laws and complicates the relationship between police and the communities. Louisiana law enforcement already reports hate crimes at a considerably lower rate than police do in states of similar sizes, according to FBI data.

As in other states, Louisiana law already provides for increased penalties when police are attacked.

But Rep. Lance Harris, R-Alexandra, said he brought the bill to protect first responders after several seemingly targeted attacks recently, and found overwhelming support in the House and Senate.

Col. Mike Edmonson, the Louisiana state police superintendent, pointed to the death of Trooper Steven Vincent, who was fatally shot in August 2015 after stopping to assist a motorist whose truck was in a ditch. The Louisiana Legislature honored Vincent’s family during its regular session.

“For those individuals who choose to target our heroes, the message formalized in this legislative act should be clear and the consequences severe,” Edmonson said in a statement.

Similar Blue Lives Matter bills have recently stalled in five other states, according to the National Conference of State Legislatures. A federal Blue Lives Matter Act is being considered in Congress.

“This law is in response to the work of Black Lives Matter. They’re targeting young black people who are standing up and demanding more from our government,” said LaToya Lewis, co-chair of the New Orleans chapter of the Black Youth Project 100.

The Anti-Defamation League and other advocates for minorities had also called for a veto, saying the law could dilute the importance of hate-crime laws at a time when they already feel under-protected.

The Louisiana District Attorneys Association took no position on the measure, but some prosecutors said they do not expect it to change their approach.

STORY OF THE WEEK


Here’s an interesting item about British Sub-Lt. Ian Watson of the Royal Navy who was piloting a Sea Harrier back in 2007 when he lost his radio and navigation and landed on a Spanish cargo ship minutes before he was to run out of fuel. The Sea Harrier was used by the British in the Falklands War and is still used by the Marine Corps. It is often called the Harrier Jump Jet because of its ability to take off and land vertically, although it uses a great deal more fuel than when taking off and landing like a normal fixed wing aircraft.

Click HERE to watch the video and refer to the Wikipedia article below for additional details.

The Alraigo Incident

 


The Alraigo Incident refers to the landing by a lost British Royal Navy Sea Harrier fighter aircraft on the deck of a Spanish container ship in 1983.

On 6 May 1983 Sub Lieutenant Ian "Soapy" Watson was a junior Royal Navy Pilot undertaking his first NATO exercise from HMS Illustrious, which was operating off the coast of Portugal. Watson was launched in a pair of aircraft tasked with locating a French aircraft carrier under combat conditions including radio-silence and radar switched off.

After completing the search Watson flew to an arranged meeting point with his flight leader. When the flight leader did not appear Watson turned towards Invincible expecting it to appear on the radar; when he was unable to find the carrier he made a radio transmission. It was at this stage he realized his radio was not working and the NAVHARS (inertial navigation system) had not taken him back to the expected location for landing.

As Sea Harrier ZA176 began to run low on fuel Watson turned the aircraft East towards a known shipping lane making radar contact with a surface vessel at 50 mi (80 km). At 12 mi (19 km) he made visual contact with the container ship Alraigo and initially planned to eject in sight of the vessel.

After performing an initial fly-by of the Alraigo Watson noticed that the ship was carrying a number of flat topped containers similar in size to a practice landing pad. The container was carrying a base plate for a telescope being delivered to the La Palma Observatory in the Canary Islands.[3] On his second approach Watson landed the Sea Harrier on top of the shipping container with only a few minutes of flight time to spare. As he touched down the aircraft began to slide backwards on the wet surface. Watson attempted to retract the landing gear to arrest the slide but this failed and the aircraft slipped backwards off the container and onto the roof of a van parked on the deck. The van partially held up the fuselage and stopped a further slide.


Four days later a considerable international media presence witnessed the Alraigo sail into dock at Santa Cruz de Tenerife with the Sea Harrier still perched on its container. The aircraft was salvageable, and the ship's crew and owners were awarded £570,000 compensation. When Watson returned to the Illustrious, a Board of Inquiry essentially did nothing. But when the Illustrious returned to port, Watson underwent a second Board of Inquiry.

In 2007, Britain’s National Archives released a number of Royal Navy files, and the second inquiry report was finally made public. Noting that Watson had completed only 75 percent of his training before he had been sent to sea, the board blamed Watson’s inexperience, and his commanders for assigning him an airplane “not fully prepared for the sortie,” a reference to radio problems. Nonetheless, Watson was reprimanded and given a desk job.


Watson eventually acquired 2,000 hours in Sea Harriers and another 900 in F/A-18s before resigning his commission in 1996. Today, he says that media attention embarrassed Royal Navy brass and caused the punishment, but refuses to point fingers. “It was me,” he says. “I was there and that’s where it should stop.”

Sea Harrier ZA176 was converted to the FA2 variant in 1992 and retired from service 20 September 2003. The aircraft is now on display at Newark Air Museum in Nottinghamshire England in its FA2 configuration.


THE BEST OF THE LATE NITE JOKES

May 25 — 27

Re-runs that aired over the Memorial Day Weekend are not included.


May 25: It is Fleet Week here in New York City. Or as civilian men call it, “No Luck on Tinder Week.”

Fleet Week is when members of the Navy do the bravest thing they’ve ever done: wear all white on the New York City subway.

Over 4,000 service members come to New York City during Fleet Week. So if you see a lot of people happy to be off a giant ship, they’re either sailors or they just got off a Carnival Cruise.

One of the events for Fleet Week is the “Parade of Ships” along the Hudson River. That's one more reason we love you guys — you found a way to have a parade in New York City that doesn't screw up traffic!

A new study found that students who learn without any shoes on get better grades than students who wear shoes. Then the University of Phoenix Online said, “Just think how well you'd learn without PANTS on!"

May 26: After Hillary Clinton declined to debate Bernie Sanders this month, there's now talk that Bernie might debate Donald Trump. No word on what the debate will be on, but I'm guessing mute.

Donald Trump's campaign accidentally sent a reporter an email with details about how Trump was going to attack Hillary Clinton. Or as Trump put it, "Wow, another Hillary email scandal. Sad.”

A new survey asked Americans which candidate they'd want to sit next to on a plane and 37 percent chose Donald Trump. Meanwhile, the other 63 percent missed their flight waiting in the TSA line.

When Trump heard that, he was like, "What does 'sit next to someone on a plane' mean? Did their private jet break, or something?"

It's being reported the Obama family is planning to move into a nine-bedroom mansion in Washington, D.C., after the president leaves office. I guess he wants to be close enough to drive by the White House every morning and shout, "Sucks, doesn't it?”

May 27: Memorial Day weekend: the unofficial start of summer and the official start of people thinking they look good in shorts.

AAA reports that more than 38 million Americans will travel at least 50 miles from their home this weekend. The number of dads who actually will turn this car around: still zero.

Donald Trump issued a statement saying he will not debate Bernie Sanders. For a while, it was looking like they were going to go ahead with it. They even started negotiating the rules. The one thing they both agreed on: no ceiling fans.

The company that makes products for Apple and Samsung in Asia has reportedly replaced 60,000 factory workers with robots. Just to keep it authentic, they're all child robots.

The Scripps National Spelling Bee was last night on ESPN. I watched it, and ESPN was the only word all night I knew how to spell.

One of the winners of this year's national spelling bee has an older brother who won the competition in 2014. Or as their dad put it, "I'm just going to throw these baseball mitts away."


May 25: A new government report reveals that Hillary Clinton ignored the State Department rules about cybersecurity. The report states that Hillary’s recklessness, arrogance, and defiance could get her the Republican presidential nomination.

Yesterday, a female judge ruled that Bill Cosby must stand trial. Cosby said to the judge, "Can we talk about this over a drink?"

Chairman of the Republican National Committee Reince Priebus blasted Hillary Clinton on Twitter for using "bad judgment." Priebus said, "I haven’t seen judgment this bad since my parents named me Reince Priebus."

Donald Trump is floating another conspiracy theory which suggests that Hillary Clinton is a murderer. Today Bill Clinton said, "Trust me, if that lady could kill, I would not be alive."

Several former contestants from the show "The Biggest Loser" are suing the show for abuse. The contestants said, "We were completely unprepared for being mistreated when we signed up to be on a show called 'The Biggest Loser.'"

The extremist militant religious group the Taliban has appointed a new leader. So congratulations, Ted Cruz!


May 25: The electronics company LG identified a new phenomenon called low-battery anxiety. People become nervous, distracted, and frustrated when their phones are about to die. If you are not familiar with low-battery anxiety, it's a real condition that primarily affects people with no actual problems.

According to a survey, a third of people will drop everything to go and charge their phone. Like what, is there a doctor in the middle of surgery and he's like, "I need to split, guys, I'm at 5 percent. Ted, where you at, at 20? Cool, can you put a heart in this guy?"


May 25: Trump won a primary last night. He got 76 percent. Kasich got 9.8 percent. Somehow Kasich is doing better since he dropped out.

There's a movement online, a hashtag, called #GiveCaptainAmericaABoyfriend. They want Marvel Comics to make Captain America gay. I wouldn't be surprised if he already is. Have you met a straight guy in this shape?

His body does not represent my America. Captain America should be fat. When I am vice president, my first order of business will be to force Captain America to gain 30 pounds.

May 26: The Secret Service had to sweep our building for the second day today. I've had so many pat-downs this week, one of the Secret Service guys told me to get checked because I had a lump.

Bernie Sanders needs a big win in the California primary. Right now he and Hillary Clinton are in a dead heat. Not so great. Older people sometimes die in the heat.

It would be pretty crazy if he somehow wins this thing. On his first day in office, my vision of him on day one is him stacking up all the money on Wall Street and burning it like the Joker in "The Dark Knight."

The Department of Defense is using computers from the '70s for the system they use to authenticate the launch of nuclear weapons. If anything went wrong, we'd have to call in Matthew Broderick. If he's in the middle of a show, how long will it take?


May 25: The latest NBC/Wall Street Journal poll has found that Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton have nearly opposite results with rural voters compared to urban voters, with Clinton leading Trump by 25 percent in cities, and Trump beating Clinton by 31 percent in places where he wouldn’t be caught dead.

At a rally in California yesterday, Bernie Sanders said that if he winds up being the Democratic nominee, “Donald Trump is toast.” Incidentally, “toast” is also what Donald Trump’s tanning bed is set to.

The Taliban has named a new leader this week after their former leader was killed in a drone strike over the weekend. It’s the only job interview where the correct answer to “Where do you see yourself in five years?” is “I don’t.”

President Obama signed legislation this week that replaced the term “Eskimo” in all federal laws with the phrase “Alaska Native.” “Fine, I’ll have seven Alaska Native pies,” said Chris Christie.

May 26: Donald Trump, today, officially clinched the Republican nomination, which means he's one step closer to moving into the smallest house he's ever lived in.

President Obama today spoke at the G7 summit in Japan. Bernie Sanders was like, "G7?! Bingo!"

A city in South Wales is on alert following reports that local sheep may have consumed marijuana from an illegal grow operation and have begun breaking into homes. So if you live in Wales, be sure to lock up your Doritos.

Beverage maker Capri Sun has announced that it will be releasing an all-new line of organic juice pouches. No word on how it tastes, because nobody's been able to get the straw into one yet.

The Huffington Post has put out a new article on a Chinese factory that makes Donald Trump masks. And now Eric and Donald Jr. take turns wearing it and saying, "I love you, son.”

It's being reported that a surgeon in Nebraska successfully completed three heart transplants in 34 hours last month. The doctor was like, "Hey, three out of 10 ain't bad."


May 25: The Trump campaign is about to launch a secret plan to attack Hillary Clinton over the Whitewater scandal from the ’90s. We know he's going to do this because they accidentally emailed the secret plan to a reporter. Which means that, shockingly, Hillary Clinton might be the candidate who’s second worst while using email.

The State Department finally released their report on her use of a private email server. They found that she did not ask permission, and if she had, the answer would have been no. Which is one of the top reasons to not ask permission, by the way.

Even when you do give Hillary Clinton a clear "no," what she hears is, "Try again in eight years."

May 26: This is a crazy election. But, of course, you know that, unless you have been in a coma. And if you were in a coma, you might want to slip back in for the next six months.

Hillary Clinton has said she absolutely will not be debating Bernie Sanders anymore. So today, Trump announced that he will debate Bernie Sanders. Two angry New Yorkers shouting at each other — it'll be like the whole country is trapped in a subway car!

Immediately after Trump offered to debate him, Bernie responded by tweeting, "Game on." Sounds like he's accepting, but he is an old guy, so he might have just been trying to tell the computer to open solitaire. Not entirely sure.

Now, Trump did put one condition on the debate: raise $10-$15 million for women’s health issues. I'm guessing, "The Donald Trump Foundation for Women Who Aren't Anywhere Near a '10,' They're Like a '5' Tops."


WEEKLY SNOPES URBAN LEGEND UPDATE



Click HERE for the most current update.


 

• • • • •

Let's get these four political zingers out of the way before we go any further. Most of you will be irritated by at least one of the four...

THIS song received from Lumpy is reportedly rising to the top of the charts in certain parts of the country. (3:48)




• • • • •

Were you aware that there are large numbers of people who would prefer to listen to Donald Trump if he would speak at half speed? As for me, I have THIS irresistible urge to run up on the stage, stick a breathalyzer in his mouth and order him to blow hard, which for him should come natural. (1:19)

 

 















The popularity of video cameras mounted on drones provides for views from above we’ve not seen before. If you think the SF Bay can get crowded on sunny weekends, check out THIS time lapse footage of the boat traffic in the Port of Amsterdam that Leroy ran across. (1:30)




• • • • •



Speaking of boats, if you have a granddaughter and she and a couple of her girlfriends get invited to go out on the water with a guy who wants to show off his new boat, think about showing her THIS clip. (6:17)




• • • • •







You only need to watch a minute or two of this 11-minute clip to ask how many of the spectators wound up with the equivalent of Black Lung Disease. THIS 18-wheeler drag racing event took place in the French province of Quebec in Canada and has garnered over 11 million views since it was posted in Dec. of 2014. (10:52)




• • • • •

Personally, I think this robot should have taken the pole away from the guy in this video and shoved it up his butt. WATCH the clip and see if you agree. (2:41)

 

Click HERE if you want to know more about this next generation Atlas robot.

 




I think everyone agrees that there is nothing funny about drunk driving. But drunk 'biking' CAN be humorous under certain conditions. Here's an example. (1:07)

 




According to the Listopedia YouTube channel, THESE are the 10 'Dumbest' Lottery Winners. (9:02)

On the other side of the coin (pardon the pun), the same YouTube channel describes THESE people as the 10 'Smartest' Lottery Winners. (7:49)

 

• • • • •



Hardly a week goes by when we don’t see a clip of an animal that makes us wonder what it would be like to have one as a pet. THIS week we’re looking at ducks. (1:12)




• • • • •



“Lions and Tigers and Bears, oh my!” Forget the last two. Imagine waking up to the sound of rustling outside your tent in the Kgalagadi Transfrontier Park in Botswana and discovering that lions are licking the rainwater off the outside of your tent. Would you be able to hold your video camera THIS steady? (0:36)




• • • • •



If you have a dog we can almost guarantee you will want to pick up one of these S.A.D. translators that will enable your pet to talk to you. Go ahead and watch THIS ad while you are scrounging around for your credit card. (3:30)




• • • • •



Pictured below is Woody, who was left behind when HIS owner died. Watch what happens when he is rescued by Hope for Paws. (4:54)











If you think the Budweiser Clydesdales with their muscles and furry hooves are something special, have a look at THESE Gypsy Vanners. (4:07)


Also known as the Irish Cob, Colored Cob and the Gypsy Horse, THIS Wikipedia entry provides more details about this special breed.

• • • • •

 

Business is Business…
Submitted by Don Hale


One day in kindergarten the teacher said to the class of 5-year-olds, “I’ll give $10 to the child who can tell me who was the most famous man who ever lived.”

A little Irish boy put his hand up and said, “It was St. Patrick.”

The Teacher said, “Sorry, Sean, that’s not correct.”

Then a little Scottish boy put his hand up and said, “It was St. Andrew.”

The Teacher replied, “I’m sorry, Scotty, that’s not right either.”

Finally, a little Jewish boy raised his hand and said, “It was Jesus Christ.”

The Teacher said, “That’s absolutely right, Marvin. Come up here and I’ll give you the $10.”

As the Teacher was handing Marvin his money, she said, “You know, Marvin, since you are Jewish, I was very surprised you said ‘Jesus Christ’.”

Marvin replied, Yeah. In my heart I knew it was Moses, but business is business.”

 


• • • • •



Alice Murphy was the source of THIS amazing clip of a 12-year-old Russian girl performing a seemingly impossible act of strength and balance during a Russian talent show. It's certainly worth a look. (4:23)




• • • • •



If we were to ask for a show of hands based on how many of you have seen a hay harvesting machine like this one, we would wager that no more than one or two hands would go up, if that many. Is THIS not proof that technology is as bad for jobs as outsourcing. (0:41)




• • • • •



Not to be confused with Indy racing cars, THIS clip shows how Formula 1 pit stops have progressed from the 1050s through 2014, but in reverse order. (4:44)




• • • • •



So what do Formula 1 drivers do when they retire? After watching this Code 3 run through city traffic we suspect that at least one of them chose to drive an ambulance. As near as we can tell, THIS run took place in a city in Hungary. (5:42)




• • • • •



While we are on the subject of ambulances, WATCH how German drivers cooperate in getting out of the way when they hear a siren and see an ambulance in their rear view mirror. It’s far different than what usually happens here in the U.S. (2:37)




• • • • •



Would you feel comfortable flying on this Airbus A-320 piloted by two young Chinese females? After watching the longer version of THIS clip I would fly with them anywhere. (3:16)

 

This is the LONGER version.

 

• • • • •

 

The Montana Shave
Submitted by Bruce Morton

 


An old cowboy walks into a barbershop in Red Lodge, Montana for a shave and a haircut. He tells the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are so badly wrinkled from age.

The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells the old cowboy to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.

When he's finished, the old cowboy tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he'd had in years, but he wanted to know what would have happened if he had accidentally swallowed the little ball.

The barber replied, “Just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else.”

• • • • •



This short 11-second clip about Memory Foam needs no INTRO or explanation from us. It speaks for itself. (0:11)




• • • • •

 

It’s flashback time. Tap your foot if you remember DANCING to “My Girl” by the Temptations. (2:42)

 




As a final item commemorating Memorial Day we are going back to Nationals Park in Washington, D.C. and the NHL Winter (Hockey) Classic that took place in Jan. of 2015. In the tunnel under the crowd, members of the Army Chorus and Lee Greenwood rehearsed by singing a cappella the SONG that Lee made popular: God Bless the USA. (3:19)




• • • • •



For this week’s closer, some will argue that THIS is how the National Anthem should be sung at all major gatherings, from NASCAR races to the Super Bowl and everything in between. It has our vote! (1:46)




• • • • •




Have a good week!


Pic of the Week





THE FARSIDER SUBSCRIPTION ROSTER as of 6/2/16

Additions and changes since the last published update (alphabetical by last name):

Chaplain Bryan Allen — Added

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Abram, Fred & Connie
Adams, Gene
Ady, Bruce
Agerbeek, Bob
Agerbeek, Rudy
Aguilar, David
Aguirre, Jim
Albericci, Jerry
Alberts, Dick
Alcantar, Ernie
Alfano, Phil
Alford, Mike
Aligo, Cynthia
Allbright, Bill
Allen, Bob
Allen, Chaplain Bryan
Alvarado, Marie
Alvarez, Pat (Campbell)
Amaral, Mike
Anders, Alberta
Anderson, Jim
Anderson, Mark
Anderson, Sharon
Anthony, Tom
Antoine, Steve
Antonowicz, Germaine
Appleby, Judy
Arata, Jennifer
Arca, Rich
Archie, Dan
Avery, Rod
Babineau, Dave & Cheryl
Bacigalupi, Dave
Baggott, Jim
Bailey, Rich
Baker, Beth
Balesano, Bob
Balesteri, Lou
Ballard, Gordon
Banner, Ken
Barikmo, Jon
Bariteau, John
Barnes, Steve
Barnett, Brad
Baroff, Stan
Barrera, Ray
Barranco, Rich
Barshay, Marc
Bartels, Don
Bartholomew, Dave
Bartoldo, Tom
Basilio, Les
Bastida, Maggie
Bates, Tom
Battaglia, Nick
Battaglia, Will
Baxter, Jack
Bayer, Lance
Bayers, Dennis
Beams, Bob
Beattie, George
Becerra, Manny
Beck, Brian
Beck, Tom
Becknall, Jim
Beckwith, Tony
Beiderman, Margie
Belcher, Steve
Bell, Bob
Bell, Mark
Bell, Mike
Belleci, Ron
Beltran, Phil
Belveal, Chuck
Bence, Martin
Bennett, Joy
Bennett, Mark
Berggren, Heidi
Bergtholdt, Doug
Bernardo, Guy
Bettencourt, Ed
Bevis, Sherry
Biebel, Phil
Bielecki, Mike
Binder, Andrew
Biskup, Shelley
Blackmore, Chuck
Blackstock, Carroll
Boales, Tina
Boes, Judith
Boggess, Eileen
Boggess, Mike
Bonetti, Jon
Bosco, Al
Botar, Rick
Bowen, Gordy
Bowman, Mike
Boyd, Pat
Boyles, John
Bradshaw, Bob
Brahm, Bob
Bray, Mary Ellen
Brewer, Tom
Brickell, Dave
Bridgen, Dave
Brocato, Dom
Brookins, Dennis
Brooks, Bob
Brown Jr., Bill
Brown, Charlie
Brown, Dennis
Brown, Ernie
Brown, Terry
Browning, Bob
Brua, Dale
Bullock, April
Bullock, Dan
Bulygo, Corinne
Bulygo, Mary
Burke, Karol
Burns, Barbara
Burroughs, (Bronson) Utta
Busch, Dennis
Bye, Bud
Byers, Dave
Bytheway, Glenn
Caddell, Jim
Cadenasso, Richard
Caldarulo, Wendy
Calderon, Richard
Caldwell, Phyllis
Camara, Bob
Camarena, Raul
Campbell, Jason
Campbell, John
Campbell, Larry
Campos, John
Cannell, Tom
Caragher, Ed
Caraway, Steve
Card, Christine
Cardoza, Vic
Carlin, David
Carlsen, Laura
Carlton, Jim
Caro, Bert
Caro, Lynne
Carr Jr., John
Carr, John
Carraher, Don
Carraher, Jim
Carter, Ernie
Carrillo, Jaci Cordes
Carrillo, John
Cassidy, Kevin
Cates, Dean
Cavallaro, Dave
Cedeno, Rey
Chalmers, JC
Chamness, Hank
Chapel, Ivan
Chevalier, Brian
Chavez, Ruben
Chewey, Bob
Christian, Brian
Christiansen, Bob
Christiansen, Rich
Christie, Kenn
Clark, Bill (the one who stayed)
Clark, Bill
Clayton, Dave
Clear, Jennifer
Clifton, Craig
Coates, Marisa
Cobarruviaz, Lou
Coen, Roger
Colombo, Tony
Comelli, Ivan
Como, John
Confer, Rick
Connor, Stephanie
Connors, Kim
Conrad, Mark
Conroy, Mike
Contreras, Dee
Contreras, Dolores
Conway, Ed
Cook, John
Cooke, Bertie
Coppom, Dave
Cordes, Marilyn
Cornfield, Scott
Cortez, Darrell
Costa, Mike
Cossey, Neil
Cotterall, Doug
Couser, Rich
Cripe, Rodger
Crowell, Chuck
Culwell, Ken
Cunningham, Stan
D'Arcy, Steve
Dailey, Karen
Daley, Brian
Daly, Ron
Damon, Alan
Damon, Veronica
Daniels, Jim
Daulton, Rich
Daulton, Zita
Davis, Bud
Davis, Joan
Davis, Mike
Davis, Rob
Day, Jack
Deaton, Caroll
DeBoard, Joe
DeGeorge, Bob
DeLaere, Sylvia
Delgado, Dave
DeMers, Buc
Dennis, Sandra
Destro, Mike
Destro, Tony
Devane, Dan
Devane, Joe
Dewey, Rod
Diaz, Mike
DiBari, Dave
DiVittorio, Gerrie
Dishman, Billy
Doherty, Janiece
Dolezal, Dennis
Dominguez, Bob
Dooley, Jeff
Dorsey, Ed
Dotzler, Jennifer
Dowdle, Mike
Doxie, Tara
DuClair, Jim
Dudding, Bill
Dudley, Bruce
Duey, Dennis
Dye, Allen
Dwyer, Pat
Earnshaw, Kathy
Earnshaw, Patrick
Edillo-Brown, Margie
Edwards, Derrek
Edwards, Don
Egan, Mike
Eisenberg, Terry
Ellner, Howard
Ellsworth, Larry
Embry (Howsmon), Eva
Erfurth, Bill
Erickson, Rich
Esparza, Dave
Esparza, Fred
Estrabao, Dario
Eubanks, Earl
Evans, Linda
Evans, Ron
Ewing, Chris
Ewing, Don
Ewing, Paul
Fagalde, Kevin
Fair, Bruce
Fairhurst, Dick
Fanucchi, Ross
Farlow, Paul
Farmer, Jack
Faron, Walt
Farrow, Chuck
Faulstich, Marge
Faulwetter, Stan
Faz, Dennis
Fehr, Mike
Ferdinandsen, Ed
Ferguson, Betty
Ferguson, Ken
Ferla, Al
Fernsworth, Larry
Flauding, Ken
Fleming, Joe
Flores, Phil
Flosi, Ed
Fong, Richard
Fontanilla, Rick
Forbes, Jay
Foster, Rick
Foulkes [Duchon], Louise
Francois, Paul
Francois, Tom
Frazier, Rich
Freitas, Jordon
Furnare, Claud
Gaines, Erin
Galea, Andy
Galios, Chris
Galios, Kathy
Gallagher, Steve
Garcia, Jose
Garcia, Lisa
Gardner, Paul
Garner, Ralph
Gaumont, Ron
Geary, Heide
Geer, Brian
Geiger, Rich
Gergurich, Judy
Giambrone, Jim
Giorgianni, Joe
Giuliodibari, Camille
Goates, Ron
Goings, Mark
Gomes, Rod
Gonzales, Gil
Gonzales, Jesse
Gonzalez, D. (formerly D. Avila)
Gonzalez, Frank
Gonzalez, Jorge
Gott, Pat
Graham, George
Grande, Carm
Grant, Bob
Grant, Doug
Grant, Rich
Granum, Jeff
Graves, Pete
Green, Chris
Grigg, Bruce
Griggs, Fran
Grimes, Eric
Guarascio, Dan
Guerin, Pete
Guido, Jr., Jim
Guido, Sr. Jim
Guizar, Ruben
Gummow, Bob
Gummow, Rich
Gutierrez, Hector
Guzman, Dennis
Guzman, Kim
Gwillim, Reese
Habina, Ron
Hafley, Gary
Hahn, Chuck
Hale, Don
Handa, Mitch
Handforth, Terry
Hann, George
Hare, Caren (Carlisle)
Harnish, Mary (Craven)
Harpainter, Bob
Harris, Bucky
Harris, Diane
Harris, Don
Haskell, Marty
Hawkes, Ken
Haynes, Sandy
Hazen, Skip
Heck, Steve
Heckel, Rick
Hedgpeth, Bob
Helder, Ron
Hellman, Marilyn
Hendrickson, Dave
Hendrix, Dave
Hernandez, Irma
Hernandez, Joe
Hernandez, Linda
Hernandez, Rudy
Hernandez, Vic
Herrick, Mike
Herrmann, Erma
Hewison, Jamie
Hewitt, Dave
Hilborn, Art
Hildebrandt, Karen
Hill, Sandra
Hippeli, Micki
Hirata, Gary
Dave Hober
Hober, Margo
Hodgin, Bruce
Hoehn, Charlie
Hogate, Joanne
Hogate, Steve
Hollars, Bob
Holliday, Sandy
Hollingsworth, Larry
Holloway, Sandi
Holser, George
Hong, Bich-nga
Horton, Debbie (McIntyre)
Hosmer, Dewey
Howard, Terri
Howell, Jim
Howsmon, Frank
Howsmon (Sr.), Frank
Hudson, Kim
Hughes, Gary
Hunter, Dick (via daughter Kim Mindling)
Hunter, Jeff
Husa, Sonia
Hyland, Brian
Ibarra, Miguel
Imobersteg, Rob
Inami, Steve & Francine
Ingraham, George
Ireland, Joe
Jackson, Curt
Jacksteit, Ken
Jacobson, Barbara
Janavice, Dean
Jeffers, Jim
Jenkins, Dave
Jensen, Dan
Jensen, Janie
Jewett, Donna
Jezo, Pat
Johnson, Bob
Johnson, Craig
Johnson, Cynthia
Johnson, Dave
Johnson, Gary
Johnson, Jon
Johnson, Karen
Johnson, Kyle
Johnson, Mardy
Johnson, Tom & Fran
Jones, Russ
Kaminsky, Glenn
Katashima, Annie
Katz, Dan
Keeney, Bill
Kelsey, Bert
Keneller, Dave
Kennedy, Scott
Kensit, John
Killen, Pat
Kimbrel, Tammy
Kinaga, Rose
King, Charlie
Kingsley, Fred
Kirkendall, Dave
Kischmischian, Gene
Klein, Lou Anna
Kleman, Karl
Knea, Tim
Kneis, Brian
Knopf, Dave
Kocina, Ken
Koenig, Heinz
Kong, Ernie
Kosovilka, Bob
Kozlowski, Astrid
Kracht, John
Kregel, John
Kunesh, Cindy
Kurz, Jennifer
Lanctot, Noel
Laney, Tammy
Lansdowne, Sharon
Lara, Bill
LaRault, Gary
Larsen, Bill
Laverty, Ann
Lax, John
Leak, Felecia
Leavy, Bill
Leavey, Jack
LeGault, Anna
LeGault, Russ
Lem, Noland
Leonard, Gary
Leonard (Lintern), Lynda
Leong, Ken
Lewis, Lefty
Lewis, Marv
Lewis, Steve
Lind, Eric
Linden, Larry  
Lisius, Jim
Little, Keith            
Livingstone, John
Lobach, Bob
Lockwood, Bob
Lockwood, Joan
Logan, Maureen
Longaker, Mary
Longoria, Noe
Lopez, Candy
Lopez. Dan
Lopez, Ruvi
Lovecchio, Pete
Low, John
Lu, Elba
Luca, Dennis
Lucarotti, Jim
Luna, Gloria
Lundberg, Larry
MacDougall, Joanne
Macris, Carly
Macris, Tom
Madison, Gary
Maehler, Mike
Mahan, Rick
Malatesta, Jim
Malcolm, Roger
Mallett, Bill
Malvini, Phil
Mamone, Joe
Marcotte, Steve
Marfia, John
Marfia, Ted
Marin, Julie
Marini, Ed
Marks, Rex
Marlo, Jack
Marsh, Scott
Martin, Brad
Martin, Lou
Martin, Todd
Martinelli, Ron
Martinez, Rick
Martinez, Victor
Matteoni, Charlotte
Mattern, John
Mattos, Bill
Mattos, Paula
Mattocks, Mike
Mayo, Lorraine
Mayo, Toni
Mazzone, Tom
McCaffrey, Mike
McCain, Norm
McCall, George
McCall, Lani
McCarville, John
McCollum, Bob
McCollum, Daniele
McCready, Tom
McCulloch, Al
McCulloch, Scott
McElvy, Mike
McFall, Ron
McFall, Tom
McGuffin, Rich
McGuire, Pat
McIninch, Mark
McKean, Bob
McKenzie, Dennis
McLucas, Mike
McMahon, Jim
McMahon, Ray
McNamara, Laurie
McTeague, Dan
Meheula, Cheryl
Mendez, Deborah
Mendez, Mike
Messier, Tom
Metcalfe, Dave
Metcalfe, Mickey
Miceli, Sharon
Miller, Keith
Miller, Laura
Miller, Rollie
Miller, Shirley
Miller, Stan
Miller, Toni
Mills, Don
Miranda, Carlos
Mitchell, Carol
Modlin, Dick
Mogilefsky, Art
Moir, Bob
Montano, Wil
Montes, José
Morales, Octavio
Moore, Dewey
Don Moore
Moore, Jeff
Moore, JoAnn
Moorman, Jim
Morella, Ted
Moreno, Norma
Morgan, Dale
Morin, Jim
Morris, Jack
Morton, Bruce
Mosley, Joe
Mosunic, Taffy
Moudakas, Terry
Moura, Don
Mozley, Ron
Muldrow, Mark "Mo"
Mulholland, Kathy
Mullins, Harry
Mulloy, Dennis
Munks, Jeff
Munoz, Art
Murphy, Bob
Musser, Marilynn
Nagel, Michael
Nagengast, Carol
Nakai, Linda
Nalett, Bob
Namba, Bob
Nelson, Ed
Ngo, Phan
Nichols, John
Nichols, Mike
Nimitz, Stephanie
Nissila, Judy
Norling, Debbie
North, Dave
North, Jim
Norton, Peter
Norton, Phil
Nunes, John
Nunes, Les
O'Carroll, Diane (Azzarello)
O'Connor, Mike
O'Donnell, Tom
O'Keefe, Jim
Oliver, Pete
Ortega, Dan
Ortiz, Leanard
Otter, Larry
Ouimet, Jeff
Ozuna, George
Pacheco, Russ
Padilla, George
Pagan, Irma
Painchaud, Dave
Palsgrove, Ted
Panighetti, Paul
Papenfuhs, Steve
Paredes, Carlos
Parker, Rand
Parlee, May
Parrott, Aubrey
Parsons, Dirk
Parsons, Mike
Pascoe, Brent
Passeau, Chris
Pate, Neal
Patrino, Lyn
Payton, George
Pearce, Jim
Pearson, Sam
Pedroza, Frank
Peeler, Eleanor
Pegram, Larry
Pennington, Ron
Percelle, Ralph
Percival, John
Perry (Cervantez), Martha
Peterson, Bob
Phelan, Bill
Phelps, Scott
Phillips, Gene
Piper, Will
Pitts, Phil
Plinski, Leo
Pointer, John
Polanco, Mary
Polmanteer, Jim
Porter, John
Postier, Ken
Postier, Steve
Powers, Bill
Priddy, Loren
Princevalle, Roger
Pringle, Karl
Propst, Anamarie
Puckett, Bill
Punneo, Norm
Purser, Owen
Pyle, Leroy
Quayle, John
Quezada, Louis
Quinn, John
Quint, Karen
Ramirez, Manny
Ramirez, Victoria
Ramon, Chacha
Raposa, Rick
Rappe (Ryman), Bonnie
Rasmussen, Charlene
Raul, Gary
Raye, Bruce
Realyvasquez, Armando
Reed, Nancy
Reek, Rob
Reeves, Curt
Reid, Fred
Reinhardt, Stephanie
Reizner, Dick
Rendler, Will
Rettus, Bev
Reuter, Larry
Reutlinger, Leslie
Reyes (Buell), Cindy
Reyes, Joe
Reyes, Juan
Reyes, Mo
Rheinhardt, Bob
Rice, Jayme
Rice, Lyle
Richter, Darrell & Annette
Riedel, Gunther
Rimple, Randy
Roach, Jim
Roberts, Mike
Robertson, Harry
Robinson, Walt
Robison, Rob
Rodgers, Phil
Rogers, Lorrie
Romano, Marie
Rose, John
Rose, Wendell
Ross, Joe
Ross, Mike
Rosso, Ron
Roy, Charlie
Royal, Russ
Ruiloba, Louie
Russell, Russ
Russell, Stan
Russo, Grace
Ryan, Joe
Saito, RIch
Salamida Joe
Salewsky, Bill
Salguero, Desiree
Salvi, Pete
Samsel, Dave
Santos, Bill
Sanfilippo, Roy
Sauao, Dennis
Savage, Scott
Savala, john
Sawyer, Craig
Scanlan, Pete
Scannell, Dave
Schembri, Mike
Schenck, Joe
Schenini (Alvarez), Joanne
Schiller, Robert
Schmidt, Chuck
Schmidt, Paul
Schriefer, Hank
Seaman, Scott
Seck, Tom
Sekany, Greg
Seymour, Chuck
Seymour, Jim
Sharps, Betty
Shaver, John
Sheppard, Jeff
Sherman, Gordon
Sherr, Laurie
Shigemasa, Tom
Shuey, Craig
Shuman, John
Sides, Roger
Sills, Eric
Silva, Bill
Silveria, Linda
Silvers, Jim
Simpson, Terry
Sinclair, Bob
Sly, Sandi
Smith, Bill
Smith, BT
Smith, Craig
Smith, Ed
Smith, Jerry
Smith, Karen
Smith, Kerry
Smith, Mike
Smoke, Wil
Sorahan, Dennis
Spangenberg, Hal
Spence, Jim
Spitze, Randy
Spoulos, Dave
Springer, George
Stauffer, Suzan
Stelzer, Rex
Sterner, Mike
Strickland, John
Sturdivant, Billy
Sugimoto, Rich
Suits, Jim
Summers, Bob
Ted Sumner
Sun, Jeff
Suske, Joe
Swanson, Ray
Tarricone, Linda
Tate, Bill
Taves, Phil & Paula
Taylor, Joyce
Tenbrink, Bob
Tennant, Ed
Teren-Foster, Aileen
Terry, Glenn & Maggie
Thawley, Dave
Thayer, Dean
Thomassin, Ron
Thomas, Art
Thomas, Dick
Thompson, Gary
Thompson, Margie
Thompson, Mike
Tibaldi, Ernie
Tibbet, Walt
Tice, Stan
Tietgens, Dick
Tietgens, Don
Tomaino, Jim
Torres, Gil
Torres, John
Torres, Nestor
Torres, Ralph
Townsend, John
Townsend, Vicki
Tozer, Dave
Trevino, Andy
Trujillo, Ted
Trussler, Christine
Trussler, John
Tush, Dick
Tyler, Diana
Unland, Joe
Urban, Diane
Usoz, Steve
Valcazar, Dan
Vallecilla, Ernie & Peggy
Van Dyck, Lois
Vanek, John
Vasquez, Danny
Rich Vasquez
Vasquez, Ted
Vasta, Joe
Videan, Ed
Videan, Theresa
Vidmar, Mike
Vincent, Bill
Vinson, Jim
Vizzusi, Gilbert
Vizzusi, Mike
Vizzusi, Rich
Vizzusi, Tony
Waggoner, Bill
Wagner, Jim
Wagstaff, Greg
Wahl, John
Walker, Dave
Wall, Chuck
Ward, Jean
Ward, Ray
Watts, Bob
Way, Vicky
Webster, Ron
Wedlow, Dean
Weesner, Greg
Weesner, Steve
Weir, Tony
Welker, Jessica
Wells, Bill
Wells, Brenda
Wells, Mike
Wendling, Boni
Wendling, Jay
Weston, Tom
Wheatley, Tom
White, Rich
Wicker, Joe
Wiley, Bruce
Williams, Jodi
Williams [Durham], Lanette
Williams, Rick
Williamson, Kathleen
Williamson, Ken
Wilson, Caven
Wilson, Jeff
Wilson, Jerry
Wilson, Lee
Wilson, Neal
Wilson, Stan
Wilson, Tom
Windisch Jr., Steve
Wininger, Steve
Winter, Bill
Wirht, Kim
Witmer, Dave
Wittenberg, Jim
Wolfe, Jeff
Woo, Paul
Wood, Dave
Wood, Jim
Woodington, Brad
Wysuph, Dave
Yarbrough, B