May 7, 2015
Bill Mattos, Editor and Publisher
Leroy Pyle, Webmaster
The Farsider is an independent publication that is not
affiliated with the San Jose Police Benevolent
Assn. The SJPBA has allowed the Farsider to be included
on its web site solely for the convenience
of the retired San Jose Police community. The content of
this newsletter does not represent or reflect
the views of the San Jose Police Benevolent
Association's Board of Directors or its membership.
MAY THEY BE RESTING IN PEACE
Annual Fallen Officers’ Memorial at the San Jose Police
FALLEN OFFICERS HONORED AT CALIFORNIA MEMORIAL IN
comes one week prior to National Police Week, May 10-16,
The growing list of our former friends and coworkers who
on will appear in next Thursday's Farsider during
National Police Week.
TV’s website in Sacramento included an article and
embedded video about Monday’s California Memorial
Dedication Ceremony. Click
HERE to view it.
THE TRIALS & TRIBULATIONS OF SAN JOSE AND THE SJPD
Sad to say, it looks like it’s SJPD’s turn in the
barrel. Are you as happy to be retired and looking at
the inside from the outside as we are?
Footage Spurs Outcry
—Police contend cellphone video shows only part of
violent S.J. encounter—
News — May 7, 2015
SAN JOSE —
The cellphone video, taken last weekend, shows a
disturbing but all-too-familiar scene: Police surround a
man, beating him with a baton and fists. The person who
posted it online added a comment that further outraged
its wide online audience, saying the man had died as a
result of the beating.
HERE to view the video.
the man was booked into jail, very much alive. And now
police are pointing to the incident and resulting online
storm as an example of how exposure on social media
sometimes muddies public understanding of police tactics
rather than bringing injustice to light. In this case,
they say, the man attacked officers with a bottle before
the camera started recording and continued to struggle
and fight even after he was pinned to the ground and
“All we’re seeing here is a small portion,” San Jose
Police Department spokesman Sgt. Enrique Garcia said.
“We have nothing to hide about this particular incident.
An investigation will be conducted, and this will be
presented in court. That’s the process people should
respect instead of trying to make a judgment before all
the evidence is introduced.”
Law enforcement officials are finding such arguments
difficult to make in the current national context, amid
highly publicized cases — some recorded, some not — that
seem to point to gross abuses of police power.
The most notorious of those, the infamous April 4
shooting of Walter Scott in North Charleston, South
Carolina, led to a murder charge against Officer Michael
Slager after a bystander’s cellphone video helped
convince prosecutors that Slager lied about Scott taking
his stun gun, the purported threat he asserted to
justify fatally shooting Scott in the back as he ran
But other times there may be more to an incident than a
video reveals. In December, a cellphone video showed
police swarming a fan during the Arizona-Oregon football
game at Levi’s Stadium as bystanders chanted, “He’s not
fighting back.” But Santa Clara police later said that
before the portion of the incident caught on video,
witnesses in the stands reported the man was drunk and
belligerent, and he refused to cooperate with stadium
staff and police.
The most recent San Jose incident started as two
officers patrolling together in the area of Story Road
near South White Road about 8:45 p.m. Saturday spotted a
man who, upon seeing them, ran toward some bushes and
ducked down. The officers thought they saw the man throw
something away, so they got out of their car and
The man ran, and the officers chased him into the
intersection, where they say he tried to hit one of them
with a bottle, sparking a fight that ended with the
officers calling for backup.
The video captured by a bystander — and posted on
Facebook by a relative of his and subsequently shared by
more than 7,000 users as of Tuesday afternoon — starts
as two officers hold the man on the ground, and they’re
soon joined by several other officers. At one point, an
officer hits the man with a baton, and another hits him
with a fist.
Garcia said the man fought with officers during the
entire encounter, tried to keep them from handcuffing
him and was violent when initially put in the back of a
patrol car, prompting them to enlist paramedics to strap
him to a gurney. The man, identified as 22-year-old San
Jose resident Juan Manuel Moreno-Lopez, was taken to the
hospital, treated for bruises and scrapes and released
to authorities. He was booked into the Santa Clara
County Jail on suspicion of assault with a deadly
weapon, resisting arrest, being under the influence of a
stimulant, possessing methamphetamine and destroying
One officer sprained a knee, and another sprained a
hand, Garcia said.
Police did not recover anything from the spot where
Moreno-Lopez was thought to have tossed something in the
bushes, Garcia said.
The Rev. Jethroe “Jeff” Moore, president of the San Jose
chapter of the NAACP, saw the video and was not swayed
by the police explanation.
“It was still excessive. After you have the guy down on
the ground, why are you still hitting him?” Moore said.
“The video is really important. What they’ve been
telling us and what the video is showing is different.
In every case, we’re told, ‘he was resisting.’ We’re
tired of hearing that.”
LaDoris Cordell, the city’s independent police auditor,
said she received at least two formal complaints about
the encounter, which have been forwarded to the Police
Department’s Internal Affairs division for an
investigation. She declined to comment specifically on
the case but said it was an example of how video is
altering the police landscape and bolsters her push for
the department to adopt body-worn cameras.
“Ordinarily, there would not be any documentation,”
Cordell said. “We don’t know what preceded it, but what
we do know is what happened on the ground. Had officers
had body cameras on, we would have seen it up close and
“Police should welcome any videos people take of them
when they’re in public. If they’re behaving, it’ll just
Dennis Kenney, a professor at John Jay College of
Criminal Justice in New York and an expert in police
training, agreed that police perception is suffering
because of the visceral images produced by the
“Police are coming to grips with a world where
everything’s being videotaped, and their brand is being
hurt pretty badly at this point. They’re guilty until
proven innocent, and that’s really problematic,” he
But Kenney also said citizens recognize the need for
police use of force, as long as the conduct is
accompanied by openness.
“The problem comes not in the application of force but
whether it’s done correctly,” he said. Garcia, the
police spokesman, said officers often are being judged
by only what is seen in video snippets, without a full
appreciation of what they have to account for. “The
average citizen will comply with an officer’s request or
lawful order. If someone is under the influence, such as
this person, the public doesn’t always understand what
we have to deal with,” Garcia said. “If he’s willing to
take on police, who else is he going to injure? Then
that could be seen as our failure to take action."
• • • •
Raise your hand if you are getting tired of seeing
Cordell’s name and photo appear in the paper again.
Whoa. That’s a lot of hands…
News — May 1, 2015
years, I’ve found plenty of chances to disagree with
LaDoris Cordell, San Jose’s independent police auditor.
The judge, as she is known universally at City Hall, is
a woman of strong opinions.
For all that, I find myself agreeing wholeheartedly with
Cordell on her latest suggestion for improving
transparency into charges of police misconduct.
situation: San Jose has two parallel systems of
investigating internal affairs complaints. One deals
with complaints originated by the public, which are
eventually summarized and passed on to Cordell’s office.
The second system, a more sensitive domain, deals with
so-called Department Initiated Investigations, which are
complaints brought forward by officers themselves. Last
year saw an uptick in these complaints — to 47 from 13
in the year before. For various reasons, the
departmental complaints are accompanied by much more
secrecy than the 300-plus originated by the public. The
department summarizes the number, categories and
outcomes of violations, but gives out nothing specific
(An example from Cordell’s latest report illustrates the
power of detail from a publicly generated beef.
Believing her car was improperly towed from her
apartment complex even though she had a parking permit,
a woman called police. The cop seemed uninterested.
Woman: “I’m telling the truth, I’m being honest.”
Officer: “Yeah, just like the pedophile I arrested last
night.” The department upheld a finding of discourtesy.)
End dual system
Cordell, who is stepping down in July, has asked that
this opaqueness end for department-originated
complaints. She says that names can be omitted to avoid
embarrassing officers, just as they are for publicly
generated complaints. “There is no justification
whatsoever for why there should be two different
systems,” she said.
Police Chief Larry Esquivel, however, has said he
believes privacy laws protect the police officers. He
insists that his department handles the internal beefs
in the same way that it does the complaints generated by
the public. Essentially, the cops are saying this: We’ll
let you scrutinize the chaff from the public. We’ll
throw a blanket over the stuff we originate, which is
probably more serious.
Cordell notes that in investigating internally generated
complaints in 2013 and 2014, the police sustained 18
findings of “conduct unbecoming an officer,” a very
serious charge. “I think the public has a right to know
what those 18 officers did,” she told me by email. The
judge is right. There might be some cases where the
department needs to protect the identity of
whistle-blowers — and compromises should be made to do
that (though in most cases, police officers already know
who has brought a complaint against them.) But it’s time
to end the dual system. Transparency is a powerful cure.
There’s no reason why one domain of complaints should
remain beyond its reach. The cops might just show that
they know how to police their own.
• • • • •
Is this good news for the POA and other City employee
unions? The third paragraph from the bottom of this
story from yesterday’s paper infers that it is…
Appoints New City Manager
who had the interim title, hired permanently—
News — May 6, 2015
SAN JOSE —
Mayor Sam Liccardo said Tuesday he’d rather focus on San
Jose’s future under the leadership of newly appointed
City Manager Norberto Dueñas than the turmoil last year
that led to three top city officials heading for the
door. After a closed-door discussion Tuesday, the City
Council unanimously appointed Dueñas to the permanent
city manager role. Councilman Raul Peralez was absent.
had been interim city manager since former manager Ed
Shikada resigned in December ahead of what was expected
to be a vote to oust him before his contract expired in
July. That month, Deputy City Manager Alex Gurza and
former Assistant City Manager Pam Antil also resigned.
Liccardo chalked up the changes to a new city government
wanting its own leadership to run the nation’s
10th-largest city. “There was an expectation certainly
by me and by others that with a new mayor and a new
council, we would be appointing a new city manager,”
Applauding Dueñas’ performance over the past fourth
months, Liccardo bypassed a nationwide city manager
recruitment in favor of promoting his pick.
“With national searches, we know there could be a lot of
costs and disruptions,” the mayor said. “Going through
the cost and disruption of a national search is always
an option, but too often we spend our time gazing at the
far-off vistas and neglecting the beautiful gardens
right underneath our window.”
Dueñas started his city career in 1985 as a council
assistant and chief of staff for former councilman Jim
Beall, now a state senator, and later as a senior budget
and policy analyst for former Mayor Susan Hammer.
Vice Mayor Rose Herrera commended Dueñas’ “calm”
management style, especially during the city’s turbulent
“We’re all in agreement that he possesses the qualities
and abilities to do this job — and we’re grateful that
he wants to,” she said.
Dueñas, who has been a favorite among city employee
unions, said he looks forward to “rolling up his
sleeves” and continuing ongoing labor negotiations. And
in a city where the last two new mayors changed city
managers, Dueñas said he’s looking forward to making a
long-term difference at San Jose City Hall.
“I will stay on as long as I feel I am contributing and
making a difference for my new bosses, the community and
the organization, “ Dueñas said, “ and as long as they
feel I’m doing a good job.”
Dueñas will continue earning the $250,000 he has
received as interim city manager.
free ticket vouchers for the San Jose SaberCats vs. Las
Vegas Outlaws game on Saturday, May 9th at 7:30 PM. Each
voucher is good for two general admission tickets, which
you can get at the game.
If you are interested, please come to the POA office to
pick up your free ticket vouchers during normal business
hours (8 AM - 5 PM).
We will not be holding any ticket vouchers as we have
plenty available, so there is no need to call.
This missive about a significant donation to the Michael
Johnson Family Fund from Farmers Insurance is worth a
5027 Almaden Expressway
San Jose, CA 95118
Attn: John McCay
Dave Clayton, a Farmers Agent based in Pleasanton,
Calif. and a former San Jose Police Officer, recently
wrote to me about the good work you have been doing in
the San Jose community. More specifically, he let me
know about the fundraiser you organized and hosted to
benefit the family of San Jose Police Officer Michael
On behalf of Farmers Insurance, I want to join you in
offering our sympathy and support to Officer Johnson's
family. I also want to say thank you for demonstrating
such a strong commitment to your community and going
above and beyond to support the men and women who
protect us all. It is a point of pride for me to hear
that the businesses and individuals we do business with
are making a real difference in their communities.
In support of the great work you are doing, Farmers is
making a $10,000 contribution to the Johnson family
Thank you again for everything you do. All of us at
Farmers could not be more proud to do business with the
Chief Executive Officer
• • • • •
I don’t think all Muslims are radical, just as not all
Christians are radical, but what’s in their book is for
all to read. Here’s one for next week.
For context, Mike (he’s the son of retiree Sharon
Lansdowne) is a contract worker who lives in Saudi
Arabia with his family. The video he sent in is of Pat
Condell, a British conservative whose views have
appeared in past editions of the Farsider. If you listen
closely, we suspect you will agree wholeheartedly with
what he has to say about Muslims and Islam. Click
HERE to play the video. (4:33)
• • • • •
Here’s an interesting question: Does the 1st Amendment
protect a person who threatens to kill police officers
on Facebook? There’s a link to a video below that deals
with that question.
We know you can go to jail for threatening to kill the
President. Likewise for yelling “Fire” in a crowded
theater. It seems strange the courts haven’t ruled on
threats to kill police officers on Facebook. For the
case sent in by TP, click
PAYING IT FORWARD
Several positive comments are being received on Facebook
for this post authored yesterday by Pete Salvi...
honor a volunteer: My mother-in-law has cancer and is
undergoing treatment. We were unable to take her on a
recent occasion because we were out of town. When we
contacted the American Cancer Society we were told they
have volunteers who transport patients to treatment. Lo
and behold, look who showed up: Ernie Vallecilla. He
began volunteering to transport patients after Peggy was
diagnosed with cancer and continues doing so to “pay it
forward.” Ernie does this quietly and without fanfare.
mention this because there was an article in yesterday’s
Mercury News stating that the program is expanding and
that there is a need for more volunteers. It’s a good
opportunity to “pay it forward” along with Ernesto
A FEW MOMENTS WITH JUDGE JEANINE
Like her or not — and most people fall on one side or
the other — Judge Jeanine Pirro of Fox News has the back
of the nation’s cops. Listen to her Opening Statement
from her show a few days ago by clicking
HERE — or read the transcription of her statement
Jeanine: Cops Across the Country Demonized Because of
cops across the nation are being demonized for the
alleged actions of some in Baltimore.
But imagine the 25-year-old running from the police is
your son. Your son arrested and thrown in that police
van, your son buried.
I want you to take race, family, preconceived notions
for or against law enforcement out of this.
This is about the facts - pure and simple. I've been
there. The elected DA in a tough spot, charging police -
the investigative agency that you work with every day.
That you need to testify to put criminals behind bars
with a crime that could land them behind those same
bars. The issues are hard, the problems fast and
Now there's no question that Baltimore city state's
attorney Marilyn Mosby is articulate, passionate and
believes in the charges she has brought and believes she
can prove them beyond a reasonable doubt. But I’m not so
“The manner of death deemed homicide by Maryland state
medical examiner is believed to be the result of a fatal
injury that occurred while Mr. Gray was unrestrained by
his seatbelt in the custody of the Baltimore Police
Department wagon.” – Mosby on Friday
But she is also inexperienced, never having tried a
murder case. New at the job - in office for four months
- just recently leaving her insurance company job.
Granted, the medical examiner ruled this a homicide. But
any experienced prosecutor knows that is nothing more
than a classification, meaning it's not an accident,
it's not a suicide and it's not undetermined. So why on
the same day the autopsy findings are released to her
does she file charges?
There is no question that Freddie Gray was healthy
enough to run from the police but almost dead when he
was taken off that police van. And in a case as unusual
and unique as this, why not seek out pathologists for
insight into what the defense will try to show?
And who to charge? Were Freddie Gray's injuries the
result of the bicycle cops putting him in a prone
position? Were they due to his then being put in a
seated position after finding the knife? Or when they
put him stomach down on the ground? Or when he was put
in a leg lace? Or when he was placed in the police van
without a seatbelt? Or when he was removed from the van
and flex cuffs placed on his wrists and then leg
shackles on his legs? Now, Mosby believes the critical
neck injury occurred during the ride to central booking.
How does she know that?
Maybe we all need to step back and let the justice
system take its course. And whether they're guilty or
not guilty, whether they should have been charged or are
overcharged, the passion surrounding this case and
arguments to render cops powerless or call for the
removal of their guns is nothing short of lunacy and
putting all of society at risk.
When cops commit crimes, they are prosecuted and jailed.
I know - I prosecuted cops. But it's time for us to
recognize the importance and necessity of maintaining
and respecting the men and women in blue. And to suggest
that all cops are the enemy is absurd.
To those who hate cops and don't want them around: start
The truth? These cops are not paid anywhere near enough
to put their lives on the line every day. They're not
paid enough to be abused and ridiculed and blamed for
society's ills, spit on by murderers, waste thrown at
them by prisoners.
Cops are the one line of defense - indeed the last line
- that separates us from a barbaric and chaotic society.
They live on the battlefield, where the fight between
good and evil unfolds every day. And often, they quietly
die on that very battlefield. And left behind are
grieving families, children without parents because
someone chose to stand for law and order against chaos.
And after their deaths, there are no marches, no burning
of businesses and no looting when they're killed. Maybe
it's time to recognize and respect the role of men and
women [in blue] in our society.
This is for those of you who have an Apple (IOS) or
Android smartphone. First, read the two short articles
below about the new ACLU app designed for capturing
police abuse and automatically sending the video to the
Creates App for Filming Potential Police Abuse
Francisco Chronicle — April 30, 3015
police are violating someone’s civil rights? Want to
record it and keep the video on file? The ACLU of
California has an app for that.
As protests over police violence spread across the
country, the ACLU of California announced a new
smartphone app Thursday that allows Californians to
record videos of police officers they believe are
violating civil rights and send them directly to a local
branch of the group for review.
“We’ve seen incidents of uses of force, of police abuse
that likely would have gone unnoticed but have instead
become the subject of national attention because a
member of the public pulled out a phone and started
video recording,” said Peter Bibring, director of police
practices at the ACLU of California.
Bibring pointed to now-infamous video incidents, such as
one in April when a bystander took video of a police
officer in South Carolina shooting an unarmed man,
Walter Scott, to death as he fled. The officer who shot
Scott was later charged with murder.
“Video is an enormously important part of documenting
police misconduct and holding not just the individual
officers accountable but our law enforcement
institutions accountable,” Bibring said.
The group began developing the app before nationwide
protests over police violence began last year after a
police shooting in Ferguson, he said.
The app — which captures video and audio — works like
this: Users can open the app, called Mobile Justice CA,
hit a record button and start capturing a potential
incident. Once the recording is stopped, the video goes
directly to the local ACLU branch and is preserved. The
app is key, Bibring said, because it allows the videos
to be preserved on the organization’s servers even if
the phone is destroyed or seized by law enforcement.
Don’t stop now. We’re about to disclose “The Plan.” This
second short article and accompanying video is from the
California ACLU Chapter Unveils Police-Monitoring Video
Andrew Tarantola — April 30, 3015
effort to reduce police abuses that have occurred with
frightening regularity throughout the US, the Southern
California branch of the ACLU has just released a new
smartphone app designed to securely record your next
interaction with law enforcement. Sure, you could simply
snap photos and take video using your on-board camera.
But what happens when the cop smashes your phone (as one
did in South Gate, California) or tries to delete the
data (as another attempted in Virginia Beach, Virginia)?
Instead of simply saving a copy to your local drive, the
Mobile Justice CA app automatically forwards a copy of
your video directly to the ACLU for review. Not only
that, but it also alerts nearby users that also have the
app installed that an incident is going down. The app is
available on both iOS and Android, but is only for
California residents. ACLU chapters in Oregon, Missouri
and New York have already released similar apps.
HERE to watch the 31 second video that shows how the
The last thing we want to do is suggest something that
might clog the ACLU’s server or cause its staff to spend
a lot of time going through videos looking for police
abuse where it doesn’t exist, but we thought that since
the ACLU seems to believe that police abuse is rampant,
perhaps we should use the ACLU app to show that the
police do good work as well. That’s why we are
suggesting that active and retired cops and their
friends who have Apple (IOS) and Android smartphones
download the app and use it to record the good work that
cops perform on a daily basis, such as patrolling the
streets, interacting with citizens, performing traffic
control, parking their patrol vehicles outside
restaurants while the officer(s) interact with the
employees and customers over a cup of coffee, and/or any
other aspect of police work that shows the police
performing the public service citizens expect. And if,
as stated, the videos take up an extraordinary amount of
space on the ACLU servers and cause staff to spend an
undo amount time going through each video looking for
abuse cases that don’t exist, well, that’s not our
problem. At least the videos will show the ACLU that the
police don’t spend most of their time abusing the
To have an impact and show the ACLU the good work the
police perform, of course, this information will have to
be received by other LEOs in the state via email and
social media such as Facebook. If you would like to
participate by passing this along to your friends in law
enforcement, simply copy and paste this article as you
would with any email and send it on.
To download the Mobile Justice (Calif.) app for IOS or
Android, click on the link below. The website includes
an FAQ section with several questions and answers if you
would like additional details.
Let’s show that police abuse is a minuscule issue by
sending the ACLU videos showing the cops serving the
KEITH KELLEY NEWS
REMINDER FOR THE 10th ANNUAL BOBBY BURROUGHS MEMBERSHIP
now taking sign-ups for our annual Association Folsom
BBQ and membership
Details are below. You can sign up on-line by clicking
need a count of Retirees and Spouses who
attending the BBQ, by May 14, 2015.
Baldwin Dam Rd.
Saturday, May 16, 2015
right after lunch.
or Chicken - Please make your selection when signing up.
I-80 in Roseville, CA
Douglas Blvd., east on Douglas Blvd. Go approximately
5.1 miles to Folsom Auburn Blvd. Turn right and go 4.1
miles to Oak Ave. in Folsom (there is a McDonalds fast
food on the corner). Turn right on Oak Ave. and go
approximately 0.4 miles (the road ends). Turn right on
Baldwin Dam Rd. You will see the Lew Howard Memorial
Park Arch. Go under the Arch and drive to the top of the
hill where the picnic grounds are (approximately 0.3
miles). You have arrived.
I-50 in Folsom
Folsom Rd. Exit. Take Folsom Rd. 2.4 miles and cross the
American River Bridge. At this time the road name
changes to Folsom Auburn Blvd. Continue 0.8 miles to Oak
Ave. You will see a McDonalds fast food restaurant on
the left corner. Turn left on Oak Ave. and go
approximately 0.4 miles to Baldwin Dam Rd. Turn right
and you will see the Lew Howard Memorial Park Arch.
Drive straight through to the top of the hill and you
THE BEST OF THE LATE NITE JOKES
29th - May 5th
Senator Bernie Sanders is expected to announce tomorrow
that he is running for president, making him Hillary
Clinton’s only Democratic challenger so far. Or as
Hillary put it, "Oooo, appetizers!"
There is a new reality show on CBS where a family must
decide whether to keep $100,000 in a briefcase or give
it away to another family. The show's called, “We'll
Keep the Briefcase.” It's the first 10-second-long show
A 91-year-old woman in the U.K. recently got engaged to
her 102-year-old boyfriend, which would make them the
oldest newlyweds in the world. They're really happy and
said they can’t wait to spend the rest of their week
Floyd Mayweather said he will make around $200 million
for his fight on Saturday against Manny Pacquiao.
Meanwhile, the horse that wins the Kentucky Derby will
get an extra carrot.
Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen attended a fundraiser for
Hillary Clinton in New York City this week. Hillary told
them, “Good luck with the reboot of your '90s show.” And
they said, “Thanks. Good luck with yours.”
“Furious 7” just became the highest grossing movie of
all time in China. Of course in China, “Furious 7” is
about seven dads who just found out their kids aren't
going to medical school.
The NFL recently agreed to give up its tax-exempt
status. It sounds like a big change, but on the bright
side, the Philadelphia Eagles can still write off Tim
Tebow's salary as a charitable donation.
Of course, tomorrow is the 141st running of the Kentucky
Derby! Yeah, it's that special time of year when people
use a two-minute event as an excuse to drink for 12
The Kentucky Derby is a race that lets rich people throw
money at a bunch of weird sounding names — which is
another way of describing the presidential race so far.
Do I want to bet on Jeb? Rand?
Churchill Downs, which hosts the Kentucky Derby, has
banned the use of selfie sticks this year. Officials say
that if you want to block someone’s view of the race,
just do what everyone else does and wear an insanely
And as you might expect, there's been a lot of
trash-talking leading up to the Mayweather-Pacquiao
fight. In fact, in a recent interview, Pacquiao's
trainer Freddie Roach said that he thinks Mayweather may
not even show up. When asked why, Roach said, “He only
clicked 'Maybe' on the Facebook invite.”
On Saturday, Floyd Mayweather beat Manny Pacquiao to
keep his undefeated record. That's actually something I
have in common with Floyd Mayweather. Neither of us has
ever lost a boxing match.
Actually, a lot of people were complaining about the
fight, because they thought it was boring and failed to
live up to the hype. Fans were hoping for the “Fight of
the Century,” but got something slightly less dramatic
than a fight on the “Real Housewives.”
Today Carly Fiorina announced that she is running for
president. Someone else bought “CarlyFiorina.org” and
posted 30,000 sad emoticons to represent all the people
she laid off at Hewlett-Packard. I haven't seen that
many sad, blank faces in one place since the
Congrats to Prince William and Kate Middleton, who
welcomed a baby girl on Saturday. The royal baby weighed
eight pounds — or around 12 American dollars.
Everyone’s celebrating Cinco de Mayo. In fact, earlier I
saw Floyd Mayweather and Manny Pacquiao pretending to
hit a piñata.
Today is Cinco de Mayo. Although if you're really
excited by that, the chances of you being at home
watching "The Tonight Show" right now are pretty slim.
Bernie Sanders’ presidential campaign announced that it
raised over $1.5 million in the 24 hours after he
announced his bid. Meanwhile, a 12-year-old on
Kickstarter just raised $7 million in five minutes after
announcing his idea for juice box water guns.
I read that as marijuana legalization becomes more
popular, it could affect the jobs of drug-sniffing dogs.
Or as those dogs put it, “Thanks, Bo Obama.”
Baltimore, the Orioles and the Chicago White Sox played
a game today in a completely empty stadium. It was the
first major sporting event to be played in an empty
stadium, unless you count every professional soccer game
Tomorrow is the start of the NFL draft. This year it
will be simulcast on ESPN and Court TV.
A new presidential poll reveals that Democrats have the
edge among voters under 30. The good news for
Republicans is that there's only six people under 30 who
Ford has recalled almost 600,000 vehicles for steering
problems. Owners are being told to bring their cars in
as close to the dealership as they can get it.
Ford just recalled almost 1 million cars for steering
problems and because the doors fly open. This explains
Chevrolet's new slogan: "Ford just recalled almost 1
million cars for steering problems and because the doors
North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un reportedly has had 15
of his top officials executed. So the lesson here is
when Kim Jong Un comes to work with a new haircut, you
tell him, "Looking good, Un."
In Oregon, a number of brewers are competing to turn
sewer water into beer. The brewer said, "Hey, if Bud
Light can do it, we can do it."
I had an amazing weekend. First I caught up on some
sleep by watching the Mayweather-Pacquiao fight.
Back home in the Philippines, Manny Pacquiao is a
congressman — which may explain why he didn't do much of
anything the other night.
I would have definitely paid $100 to watch someone beat
up my congressman.
A Florida man is suing a hospital for throwing his right
leg away after it was amputated. The hospital says
they're not worried about the lawsuit because the man
does not have a leg to stand on.
The 89-year-old queen of England met her new
great-granddaughter for the first time. Both cried a
little, burped, and then fell asleep.
In New Hampshire, a 95-year-old World War II veteran
successfully defended himself against a mugger by
hitting him with his cane. The veteran will now face
Floyd Mayweather next Saturday on pay-per-view.
Yesterday Chris Brown was accused of assaulting a man in
Las Vegas. Boxing fans are glad that at least somebody
got punched in Las Vegas this week.
Kim Kardashian was at a Barnes & Noble in New York
signing copies of her new book of selfies. Extra
security was on hand in case any real books tried to get
too close to Kim Kardashian.
beautiful day in New York City. It's sunny and 73, like
In Baltimore today, the Orioles and the Chicago White
Sox played a baseball game. Nobody was allowed in the
ballpark. It was eerily quiet. The players had to heckle
Even though no one was allowed inside the Orioles
ballpark, parking was still a problem.
Our guest tonight is Michelle Obama, first lady of the
United States. She's here to announce her run for
This will be Michelle Obama's last opportunity to try to
get me to eat kale.
The issue of gay marriage has reached the Supreme Court
and observers are analyzing every detail to predict how
each justice will vote. Experts say Chief Justice John
Roberts is likely to rule in favor of gay marriage based
on the fact that he spent Tuesday's hearings watching
the Tony Award nominations.
Donald Trump is talking about running for president. He
hasn't made an announcement, but I want to tell you
something. The fake suspense is killing me.
I can hardly wait until Donald Trump announces his
Tomorrow is the Kentucky Derby. Did you fill out your
The thing about the Kentucky Derby is that it's usually
won by the horse from Kenya.
Happy Cinco de Mayo. In honor of Cinco de Mayo, mayor
Bill de Blasio is filling all New York City potholes
Cinco de Mayo is a holiday for all of the people that
we're trying to keep out.
Kim Kardashian has published a book of photographs that
she has taken of herself. This solves the problem of the
Kim Kardashian photo shortage.
cleaning out their grandparents' attic in Florida found
a wooden box containing a mummified pirate's hand on a
map with gold coins. It really kills the romanticism of
the whole pirate thing for me, when the treasure isn't
under an "X" on the beach, but in the attic of a
two-story condo in Florida.
A treasure chest full of gold pirate coins may be cool,
but do you know what I have in my attic? Family
heirlooms and pictures of all my loved ones — and isn't
that the real treasure? No, no it isn't. The real
treasure is a treasure chest full of gold pirate coins.
It was a huge weekend for sports. And of course the
event everybody was talking about was the
Mayweather-Pacquiao fight. I mean, we're calling it a
fight. To me, it seemed more like a couple of guys
having a cuddle every now and then.
You know you're not in for a vintage fight when at the
end of every round, Mayweather goes back to his corner
and says, "What is that guy's problem? He keeps trying
to hit me in the face.”
I'll tell you what the problem was. It was the ref.
Every time they started to box, he would say, "Whoa,
guys, I'm sensing some tension here. Calm down. Someone
might get hurt. All right, come on now, hug it out.”
Happy Cinco de Mayo. Today is the day Americans
celebrate Mexicans beating the French in the Battle of
Puebla by getting blind drunk, listening to mariachi
music, and then vomiting in a cab. Or as we call it in
Britain — Tuesday.
I just moved to the states and I've learned that Cinco
de Mayo is just a reason to drink. Until now I thought
Americans had to fall back on St. Patrick's Day, the
Fourth of July, Fat Tuesday, Halloween, Hanukkah,
Memorial Day, Labor Day, Columbus Day, President's Day,
any sporting event, any barbecue, Thanksgiving, or
Christmas if they needed an excuse to get drunk on a
The Internet has spoken and it said that girls love "dad
bods." But the examples they used for dad bods were Jon
Hamm and Leonardo DiCaprio. OK, one, they don't have
kids so they aren't dads. Two, they are among the most
handsome men the world has to offer. That article
shouldn't read "Girls love dad bods." It should read,
"Girls love millionaire movie stars."
Somehow, millionaire movie stars have always gotten
women to find them attractive. If you're a millionaire
movie star I don't think you'll ever hear, "I'd like you
a lot more if you had your dad's body."
Las Vegas is Floyd Mayweather vs. Manny Pacquiao. They
estimate that the fight will be seen by more people than
any fight in history that did not take place between
Jay-Z and his sister-in-law in an elevator.
No matter who wins, both fighters will walk away with a
large chunk of money. They agreed to split the purse
60/40. Mayweather could make $180 million. You would
think for that much he could pay somebody to fight for
The World Cup is three years away and the Russian
government is asking people to come up with ideas for a
cute mascot to put on merchandise. Why would a Russian
mascot be anything other than a bottle of vodka? A
little bottle of vodka that plays soccer.
Kim Kardashian is here tonight because she has a new
book out. It's called "Selfish." It is 400 pages of
pictures she took of herself. You know how you can't
judge a book by its cover? This one you can.
I was in Las Vegas for the Floyd Mayweather versus Manny
Pacquiao fight. Manny was on the show recently and I
asked if I could be his Justin Bieber. Bieber always
walks in the ring with Floyd Mayweather. But Manny
doesn't have a sexy teen idol in his camp so I offered
Manny Pacquiao is a congressman in the Philippines. It
must be weird to see one of their congressmen fight on
TV. I wish our congressmen would do that. I'd pay $100
to see John Boehner fight somebody.
Tom Brady went to the Kentucky Derby in the afternoon
and to the fight in Vegas that night. Even Tom Brady and
Gisele need a break from time to time. That should make
us feel good about ourselves.
Despite the fact that the fight was on Saturday night,
the new movie "Avengers: Age of Ultron" made $191
million over the weekend. By the way, Floyd Mayweather
made $200 million — more than the movie, and he doesn't
have to split it with Iron Man and The Hulk.
Clinton gave a speech at Columbia University this
afternoon. She ended it the way Clintons always end
their speeches, by saying, “That’ll be $200,000.”
It was such a nice day today that President Obama left
the White House and went for a walk around the
neighborhood. Even more amazing, THIS is the first the
Secret Service is hearing about it.
A company is working on a new selfie stick shaped like a
human arm so users won’t look like they’re alone in
pictures. Instead you’ll just look like a completely
normal person who’s carrying around a human arm.
Saturday is as big a sports day as you can have, with
the Mayweather-Pacquiao fight, Kentucky Derby, NBA and
NHL playoffs, and the NFL draft. This according to a
group of bummed-out dads at a toddler's birthday party.
The NFL draft runs from tonight through Saturday. So
tune in and watch a young millionaire pretend to be
excited about moving to Tampa.
Bruce Jenner will reportedly make a return to
motivational speaking. And it's going to be a little
tougher, because now he's only going to make 77 cents on
Starbucks will now offer cookie straws. And they come in
a variety of flavors, like type 1 and type 2.
Did anybody watch the big fight this weekend? I mean,
besides the two boxers?
The fight had so much clinching. If those guys had been
hugged that much as children, they wouldn’t have grown
up to be boxers.
Today is Cinco de Mayo. Interesting fact: Cinco de Mayo
is celebrated on the fifth of May because most white
people can only count to five in Spanish.
In an episode of "The Price is Right" this week, a
contestant in a wheelchair was awarded a treadmill.
Well, the show isn’t called "The PRIZE is Right."
According to Forbes, the wealthiest rappers of 2015 are
Diddy, Dr. Dre, and Jay Z. While the least wealthy
rapper is Li’l Gambling Problem.
A Brooklyn man has become an overnight celebrity for his
uncanny resemblance to Vincent Van Gogh. Said the man,
WEEKLY SNOPES URBAN LEGEND UPDATE
HERE for the most current update.
• • • •
THESE three firecrackers (technically they are
grandmas) who are intent on showing those of us in our
sixties and seventies that there is still a lot of
living ahead of us. (4:24)
• • • •
Most of us are aware that when we fly Southwest we are
sometimes treated to a humorous pre-flight safety
THIS is one of the best we’ve seen and heard. (3:05)
generated so many views on YouTube (over 2 million) that
DECIDED to have the flight attendant appear on her
• • • • •
THIS Channel 5 video that dates back to Sept. and
you will see how body cameras can be beneficial for cops
accused of racism. It involves an Oakland firefighter
who accuses a rookie Oakland cop of racism and how he
was discredited by the cop’s body camera. We would wager
that when the story first broke, Al Sharpton was in the
process of buying a first-class ticket to Oakland, only
to say “Never mind” after he heard the audio from the
officer’s body camera. (4:52)
• • • • •
I’ll admit that I’m not a huge fan of modern dances that
are popular with today’s youth, but I’m happy to make an
THIS performance by Keone and Mariel Madrid who are
choreographers at the Urban Dance Camp. (The shoes that
are thrown them at the end of the performance means that
the spectators liked what they saw.) (2:03)
• • • • •
Never mind the card trick in
THIS clip received from Chuck Blackmore, it’s what
the guy does with several cigarettes and napkins that’s
amazing. (OK, the card trick is pretty amazing, too.)
• • • • •
You may recall that there have been two recent failures
of the Space X reusable rocket to land safely on a barge
in the ocean.
THIS video of a prior test flight will show you how
it was supposed to return to earth after making a
delivery to the ISP. (1:29)
• • • • •
How angry can the seas be? Probably more angry than
THIS compilation video because video cameras were
normally absent when the oceans were having a bad day.
We’re not sure which is scarier, the images in this clip
or the musical soundtrack. (3:59)
• • • • •
HI-DEF Vimeo contribution from Dirk Parsons for you
aviation aficionados who want to ride along with these
guys while they try to put out a ground fire in Spain
using a Bombardier 415 Water Bomber. To fill their tanks
they touch down on the water at approach speed, open the
fill scoops and the tanks fill up as power is applied.
Note how the turbulence from the fire rocks the aircraft
at low altitude and forces the pilot to go lock-to-lock
on the hand and foot inputs. (4:36)
• • • • •
Dirk also sent in
THIS clip, saying he remembers playing with slot
cars when he was a kid but that they were nothing
compared to this. (4:52)
• • • • •
Those of you with an interest in the history of WW II
THIS rare color film footage of Berlin in the summer
of 1945 of interest as it was shot a month or two after
the end of the war in Europe. The uniforms worn by the
soldiers will likely tell you whether they are American,
British or Russian, while virtually all of the people in
civilian clothes with the less-than-happy faces are
• • • • •
Speaking of Berlin, leaders of the Allied nations (U.K.,
U.S.A. and U.S.S.R.) made provisions after the war ended
for the post-war military occupation of Germany by
Allied troops. This involved setting up distinct zones,
each administered to by troops of one of the Allied
With tensions between the Soviets and the Western powers
rising, it was essentially split in two: West Germany
(U.S.A., U.K., France) and East Germany (a/k/a German
Democratic Republic or G.D.R.). Berlin, deep inside
G.D.R. territory, was a special case that was again
divided into East and West Berlin and separated by the
infamous Berlin Wall.
The Wall went up around 1961, though barriers and barbed
wire were already in place as early as 1952. Defecting
from the G.D.R. was punishable by death, and 136 people
died trying to cross into West Berlin. Still, life was
hard enough that many were willing to take that risk,
like the people shown in
THIS clip. (1:56)
German patrol boat tries to capture
three Germans fleeing to West Berlin
• • • • •
This video comes from the front of a German ambulance,
where paramedics responding to an emergency had to get
TRAFFIC. The other drivers do everything they can to
make room on the packed highway, which is something you
are unlikely to see in the U.S. given the same amount of
• • • • •
If you were a long-haul trucker,
THIS clip about a turbine-powered concept 18-wheeler
received from Alice Murphy would probably have you
• • • • •
For those who want to get away from the homestead but
don’t want to maneuver a large motorhome down the road,
the engineers at Volkswagen have produced a modern-day
version of the Volkswagen camper called the Doubleback
that looks like an ordinary van. Click
HERE for a tour of the innovative camper. There are
only two things that make it a deal breaker for me. 1)
It sells for 55,000 British pounds (roughly $87,000),
and 2) It’s not available in the U.S. (3:39)
one is more my speed…
• • • • •
Many of you have probably seen still photos of
THIS upside down truck. Here is the story of the
unique conversation piece along with the details of how
it came to be. (3:34)
• • • •
bad mornings, and there are
BAD mornings. Take a half-minute and watch what
happens to this poor guy. (0:36)
• • • • •
If we are going to burn in hell for these, so be it...
• • • •
the White House because he's an honorable man who has
and has worked very hard to make something decent and
himself. The other one is a race baiting buffoon known
as Al Sharpton!
• • • • •
the amazing story of Derby, a dog that was never able to
run around and play like other pups because it was born
with deformed front legs. Even with a set of wheels,
Derby still had limited mobility. But foster-owner Tara
Anderson of 3D Systems was determined to change that.
With the help of designers from 3D Systems and an
orthotist specializing in animals, they decided to
CREATE a custom pair of prosthetics to help Derby
move around. (3:03)
• • • • •
Have you ever wondered what would happen if you were to
put a hummingbird in a wind tunnel? Neither have we, but
that doesn’t make
THIS clip any less interesting. (Not to worry; none
of nature’s mini-helicopters were harmed in the shooting
of this video.) (3:25)
• • • •
Hummingbirds, watch as a father and son rescue this
little fella who is unable to fly. It may have you
second-guessing the scale of damage that something so
simple can cause to
THESE fragile creatures. (1:39)
• • • •
“Skip the Meow Mix and pass the popcorn.” It’s not every
day you see a cat watching “Star Wars” with his owners,
THIS short video is evidence that it can happen, at
least in the Ukraine. (1:36)
• • • • •
Ever see a mouse pay for its snack?
THIS clever little critter named Cindy has no
problem putting up some cold hard cash for a treat.
• • • • •
This is Kimchi the Chinchilla enjoying a massage. Note
how she carefully adjusts her head and neck to soak up
the affection. Their use for fur led to the extinction
of one species and put serious pressure on the other
two. Though it is illegal to hunt wild chinchillas, the
animals are now on the verge of becoming extinct because
of continued illegal hunting. Domesticated chinchillas,
however, are still bred for their fur. We hate to think
THIS little guy winding up as part of a sleeve on
some woman's fur coat. (1:13)
• • • • •
What the flock?
THIS scene is like something out of a dream, or
perhaps it’s a case of counting sheep that has gone
wrong. Thousands of sheep overrun the road in Vina del
Mar, Chile. This is footage of the strange occurrence
that was taken while slowly driving through and parting
the sea of sheep. Try counting them and we guarantee you
will go mad. Or fall asleep. (2:48)
• • • •
THIS is what Wisconsinites do for entertainment on
Sunday afternoons. Note how the audience paid rapt
attention to the music and that nary a one walked away
during the concert. (2:04)
• • • • •
Have you ever swam through a school of a million fish?
On a dive in Grand Cayman,
THIS diver got a once-in-a-lifetime experience when
he swam through a cave teeming with countless Atlantic
Silverside, a small silver-colored fish that likes to
use a "strength in numbers" strategy as defense against
predators. This footage was filmed using a GoPro camera
mounted on a selfie stick. (1:52)
• • • • •
This is the most
AMAZING Giraffe performance we have ever seen.
Whoever trained these graceful animals should be
applauded for a job well done. (5:27)
• • • • •
We’re gratified to see that our cousins across the pond
employ the same procedure as many cops in the U.S.
motorcycle police officer stops a driver for shooting
through a red light. The driver is very hostile. He
steps out of his car and comes striding toward the
officer, demanding to know why he is being harassed by
The officer calmly tells him of the red light violation.
The motorist instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the
officer's ancestry, sexual orientation, etc. in rather
explicit offensive terms.
The tirade continues on without the officer saying
When the officer is nearly finished with the citation he
writes "AH" in the lower right corner of the narrative
portion of the ticket. He then hands it to the
'violator' for his signature.
The bloke signs the ticket angrily, and when presented
with his copy points to the "AH" and demands to know
what it stands for.
The officer says, "That's so when we go to court, I'll
remember that you were an Arse Hole!"
Two months later they're in court. The 'violator' has a
bad driving record with a high number of points and is
in danger of losing his license, so he hired a big gun
lawyer to represent him.
On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run
through the red light.
Under cross examination the defense attorney asks;
"Officer is this a reasonable facsimile of the ticket
that you issued to my client?"
Officer responds, "Yes, sir, that is the defendant's
copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top."
Lawyer: "Officer, is there any particular marking or
notation on this ticket you don't normally make?"
"Yes, sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative
there is an "AH" that I underlined."
“And what does the "AH" stand for, officer?"
"Aggressive and Hostile, Sir."
"Aggressive and Hostile?"
"Officer, are you sure it doesn't stand for Arse Hole?"
“Well, sir, you know your client better than I do.”
And that is how a cop gets a defense attorney to convict
his own client.
• • • • •
Talk about being in the right place at the right time
and having your camera running, check out
THIS footage of Mount Tavurvu off the coast of Papua
New Guinea popping its cork and sending ash and smoke
into the air. And hold tight to your chair for the shock
• • • • •
Here is an extremely well-edited video for bike
enthusiasts featuring Chris Akrigg, a professional
mountain biker whose
EXPLOITS off the trail have to be seen to be
appreciated. He leaves the city and gets into the
mountains at the 1:40 mark. (8:27)
• • • • •
Adrenaline junkies need to make their way to Dubai in
the United Arab Emirates because the latest event held
there is only the first of many. Dubbed "Dream Jump
Dubai" and hosted by Skydive Dubai in association with
Never Before Events, it was part of the "Dream Walker
Around the World in 80 Jumps" expedition and is the
first outside of Europe. The event was held at the
Princess Tower in Dubai, where participants
PLUNGED from the 99th floor. 2:18)
• • • • •
Have a fear of heights? Want to conquer them? There’s no
better way than to travel to Toronto and participate in
EDGE WALK at the CN tower like these folks. (12:36)
• • • • •
THIS clip that dates back to the 2013 World Series
was posted on Facebook by Pete Salvi, but its age
doesn't make it any less profound. Watch and listen as
Sgt. Dan Clark, (USMC Ret.) sings “God Bless America”
during the 7th inning stretch. (2:06)
• • • •
the perfect closer for this week’s Farsider given that
this coming Sunday is Mother’s Day.
WATCH as a real mom who lives in Moreno Valley, CA
receives the gift of a lifetime from her son Ryan, a
Navy Commander stationed in Japan. If your eyes well up
at the end, well, that’s OK. Ours did. (4:09)
• • • •
Pic of the Week
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Abram, Fred & Connie
Alvarez, Pat (Campbell)
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Bray, Mary Ellen
Brown Jr., Bill
Burroughs, (Bronson) Utta
Carr Jr., John
Carrillo, Jaci Cordes
Clark, Bill (the one who stayed)
Embry (Howsmon), Eva
Foulkes [Duchon], Louise
Gonzalez, D. (formerly D. Avila)
Guido, Jr., Jim
Guido, Sr. Jim
Hare, Caren (Carlisle)
Harnish, Mary (Craven)
Horton, Debbie (McIntyre)
Howsmon (Sr.), Frank
Inami, Steve & Francine
Johnson, Tom & Fran
Klein, Lou Anna
Leonard (Lintern), Lynda
Long (Huntwork), Eunice
Muldrow, Mark "Mo"
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Rappe (Ryman), Bonnie
Reyes (Buell), Cindy
Richter, Darrell & Annette
Schenini (Alvarez), Joanne
Taves, Phil & Paula
Terry, Glenn & Maggie
Vallecilla, Ernie & Peggy
Van Dyck, Lois
Williams [Durham], Lanette
Windisch Jr., Steve