The Farsider is an independent
publication that is not affiliated with the San Jose Police Benevolent
Assn. The SJPBA has allowed the Farsider to be included on its website solely for the convenience of
the retired San Jose Police community. The content of this newsletter does not represent or reflect
the views of the San Jose Police Benevolent Association's Board of Directors or its membership.
RETIRED SERGEANT MARTY KING
I am writing this with a very heavy heart. One of my best friends, Retired Sgt. Marty King, has suddenly passed away.
I have tried to copy his obit info but cannot get it to this page. I am hoping you can look at the link to Lima’s funeral home and post his obit as he was a friend to several SJPD officers and others throughout Santa Clara county and the state.
Thank you in advance.
Steve Caraway, Badge 2246 <firstname.lastname@example.org>
April 27, 1956 — Jan. 14, 2017
Marty was a 5th generation San Jose native. He attended St. Joseph's grammar school in San Jose and Bellarmine College Preparatory. Marty helped win a high school CCS championship as the quarterback for the Bellarmine Bells division 1 football team. He then played for the USC Trojans football team and helped win the 1978 college football national championship and the 1979 Rose bowl. Marty entered the national football league and played for the San Diego Chargers and Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Marty became a police officer and served the public for 17 years. Later, he attended law school and became a well respected attorney, and an adjunct professor at Lincoln Law School.
Marty was involved with St. Catherine's Parish in Morgan Hill as both a lector and Eucharistic Minister. He spent his spare time doing competition barbecue and loved entertaining his family and wide circle of friends.
Marty's love of life and gregarious personality will be sorely missed. He is survived by his wife Diane, daughters Denise Fernandes (Tyler), Amy White (Ian), and Sarah King; sisters Betsy Kerby, Mary Hawes, brother Tom King (Michelle), nephew Tommy King, and nieces Chelsea Hawes, Heather Hawes and Rochell Mees; brothers-in-law Joseph Mees, David Mees and Richard Mees; grandchildren Addison White, Chase White, Sadie Fernandes and Finley Fernandes.
In lieu of flowers please make a donation to the Martin King scholarship fund at Lincoln Law School of San Jose.
Click HERE to sign the Guestbook.
CITY NURSE MARILYN GARDNER
—Mother of retired Officer Paul Gardner—
Some of you will remember Marilyn from the 20 years she worked as a City nurse. That was back in the day when you could expect a visit from Marilyn or one of the other City nurses if you called in sick. And if you did, you'd better be home, or have a good explanation of why you were not! Although Marilyn passed away on Feb. 18th, this obituary appeared in the paper on March 13th, which was followed by a Celebration of Life at the Stone Church in Willow Glen this past Saturday. We first reported on Marilyn's passing in the Feb. 21st Farsider. Our deepest sympathies to Paul and his family.
Feb. 12, 1922 - Feb. 18, 2017
Resident of San Jose
Marilyn “Barty” Gardner passed away at the age of 95. Marilyn was born in Beach, North Dakota to Tracy and Julia Bartholomew and was raised in Lebanon, Oregon. At the age of 18 she moved with her family to San Jose where she graduated from Nursing School. She worked 20 years at the County Hospital and 20 years as a Public Health Nurse for the City of San Jose, retiring after a 40 year career as an RN. Marilyn had a lifelong passion for helping others, often providing special care to those in need. She was a gifted cook and provided wonderful dinners for family and friends. People often commented that she always seemed to have a smile on her face and never said a bad word about anyone or anything. One of the most positive ladies you would ever meet.
Marilyn is survived by her husband Fred, son Paul (Charmain), daughter Claudia Farris (Tom), grandchildren Mike, deceased (Jaclyn), Greg (Susy), Melissa, Matthew, Justine (Jon), great-grandchildren Camryn, Nathaniel, Jacob, Andrea, Gianna, and Rowan. Marilyn was predeceased by her brother, Theron Bartholomew.
Marilyn and Fred are members of and were married at The Stone Church of Willow Glen. They enjoyed 67 years of marriage. A private interment has been held. Family and friends are invited to a celebration of Marilyn’s life on Saturday, March 18th, 1:00 P.M., at the Stone Presbyterian Church, 1937 Lincoln Ave., San Jose, at the corner of Clark Way. There will be a reception to follow in the Fellowship Hall. Everyone is welcome.
We are sad to report that former Officer Joshua Murray passed away on March 8th from medical complications. He was with the San Jose PD from 2008 to 2011 prior to being employed by the Capitola PD.
Our hearts and prayers go out to his family, and we send them our thoughts of peace and courage in this most difficult time.
A service for Josh was held last Saturday in Aptos.
A "Josh Murray Memorial page" has been set up on Facebook where photos and/or comments can be posted. Click HERE to access the page.
This photo of Josh was posted on his memorial Facebook page.
THE TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS OF SAN JOSE AND THE SJPD
Recruitment Drive Under Way
the wake of the City Council’s approval of a new contract, SJPD
is looking to add as many as 200 officers to its depleted staff
Robert Salonga <email@example.com>
Mercury News — Feb. 8, 2017
SAN JOSE — On the heels of an ice-breaking police contract, the San Jose Police Department is looking to unclog years of recruiting stagnation with a spirited campaign to attract high-caliber cadets and lure back former officers.
The department is authorized to add as many as an 200 officers to its ranks.
“Today is the first step of our rebuilding of SJPD,” Mayor Sam Liccardo said Tuesday.
A 20-percent pay raise over the next three years is a centerpiece in the latest push for recruitment, which languished over the past decade as police salaries in San Jose lagged markedly behind neighboring cities. The force lost over a third of its officers during that period to early retirements and pay-fueled departures to other departments.
Department recruits sit on stage during the San
Jose Police Academy graduation ceremony in 2013.
A 20-percent pay raise over the next three years is a
centerpiece in the latest push for recruitment.
“We can once again compete for officers,” said Sgt. Paul Kelly, president of the San Jose Police Officers’ Association. “It’s time to get back to work now and get this Police Department back on track.”
The police rank-and-file ratified the contract Monday, formally ending years of acrimony between the city and police union that under new leadership forged a pact that, after hurdling past taxpayer group challenges and voter approval last November, became the newly minted agreement.
The new contract was approved on an 8-2 vote, with Councilman Johnny Khamis and Councilwoman Dev Davis opposed. Councilman Sergio Jimenez was absent.
Khamis questioned whether San Jose — a city strapped by a spike in pension and labor costs — can afford the “highly generous” 10 percent raises cops will get in the first year of the contract.
According to city records, the police contract will cost $4.65 million in one-time costs and an estimated $49 million in ongoing costs.
Those costs are much higher than city leaders projected — draining city finances by an additional $29 million by 2020.
Khamis, who said he’s never voted against police raises during his time on the council, said the contract sets a “dangerous precedent” and could bury the city in debt.
“Other City Councils in the past didn’t have the courage to say no to pension increases,” Khamis said. “What ended up happening is we put the city in debt and had deep layoffs. I feel like we’re walking down a fiscally irresponsible path.”
His concerns were echoed by newly elected Councilwoman Davis: “For me, the big question is whether we’re going to be able to afford this deal?”
Liccardo said city leaders have to balance the risks, but often make decisions based on “imperfect information” on financial forecasts and city budgets.
Kelly has said allowing police staffing to continue atrophying would be disastrous and called Khamis an “obstructionist” who is “allergic to facts and truth.”
City and police brass are now turning their attention to marketing the pay raise and stabilizing of benefits as soon as possible.
“This department is open for business,” Chief Eddie Garcia said. The chief also took a moment Tuesday to recognize a rank-and-file that shrunk from about 1,400 in 2009 to just over 900 now. The staffing shortage spurred a declaration of a technical state of emergency last summer to ensure enough officers could patrol the streets, infamously signified by the revelation the increased workload led to an increasing number of officers living in RV’s parked across from police headquarters.
“No one has done so much, for so long, with so little, than the members of this Police Department,” Garcia said. He added that besides attracting new officers, SJPD aims to get back many seasoned officers who left for greener financial pastures and reclaim their institutional knowledge. On Tuesday, the department announced plans to “aggressively” reach out to those officers and released a draft of a corresponding letter highlighted by the message “We want you back!” Garcia said he knows of “several” officers who are eyeing a return but were waiting for pay raises to become official before exploring it further. One officer who left and came back ahead of the contract is LeeAnn Alfonzo, a 19-year police veteran who left San Jose in March 2015 to join Atherton police but saw hopeful-enough signs in negotiations that she came back six months later.
Jose police Chief Eddie Garcia, flanked by Vice Mayor
Magdalena Carrasco and police union President Paul Kelly,
discusses the new recruitment campaign Tuesday.
Alfonzo sees a lot of kindred spirits elsewhere in the Bay Area. “It was such a difficult decision to leave, and it was purely a financial decision. Most people left for pay,” she said. “It’s now getting back to the way it was. And there are so many non-monetary things that are here, with both development and expertise.” That’s music to the ears of Lt. Heather Randol, who oversees recruiting and backgrounding at SJPD. The momentum of negotiations appears to have bolstered recruitment: upcoming academy classes are now topping 30 cadets, a considerable improvement from the seven that filled out the class exactly one year ago. The city also secured a “clawback” provision requiring academy graduates to pay back an amortized amount of their training costs if they leave before five years of service, spurred by a string of such departures over the past few years that left San Jose on the hook for essentially training other cities’ cops. But all things considered, Randol believes the competitive leveling offered by the new contract is vital to recruiting, which she says has become increasingly difficult in recent years amid a national climate of increased scrutiny and distrust of police. “Recruiting people into law enforcement is more difficult now,” Randol said. “With a smaller pool of applicants, this gives us an edge.”
The current class looking forward to graduation day.
• • • • •
Council Should OK Police Raises
Editorial — Barbara Marshman, Editorial Page Editor
Mercury News — Feb. 7, 2017
The San Jose City Council can finally begin to reverse the city’s seven-year decline in police force staffing. At Tuesday’s meeting it should approve a contract with the police officers’ union that brings pay back to competitive levels for the Bay Area.
Yes, the cumulative raise is substantial — 20 percent over three and a half years, plus a $5,000 retention bonus. But the force is down to 875 street-ready officers from more than 1,300 in 2009. It is 200 below what’s funded in the current budget at existing pay — which is too low to attract recruits or retain experienced officers. A city survey of 10 peer police agencies in the Bay Area found San Jose’s take-home pay second to the lowest for Tier 1, or experienced, officers. It’s $17,000 below Santa Clara County sheriff’s deputies.
Staffing per capita also is far below other big city departments. For example, Los Angeles and San Francisco have about 25 officers per 10,000 residents; San Jose has nine.
Every city is different, but that’s quite a gap.
Critics say spending on salaries breaks faith with voters, who approved tax increases last year with the promise of improved city services. But in survey after survey, residents say their top priority is public safety.
And the current level of staffing is simply not safe.
Officers have been working mandatory overtime for months now, and investigative units are depleted because pretty much every sworn officer has to work patrol shifts and cover emergency calls. Mayor Sam Liccardo has pledged that the police contract will not derail the increased library hours, street repairs, fire station staffing and other improvements the tax increases now are funding.
It’s definitely the case for the coming year and appears doable for the course of the contract.
In past decades, mayors and city councils kept contract agreements close to the vest until the public vote. They often kept unions happy with pension and benefit increases, some of them retroactive, and left future generations to pay the unfunded liabilities. This is what led to Mayor Chuck Reed’s 2012 pension reform ballot measure and the ensuing court cases that Liccardo settled through negotiation in his first year in office.
This contract is not in the old style. Progress of the negotiations has been transparent; every offer and counteroffer was posted promptly on the city website, and the final agreement has been public for weeks. The cost of raises is clear, unlike the long-term cost of a pension. The deal also includes flexibility and potential savings for the city in allowing more work to be done by civilians and community service officers.
And this should bring a cheer: Cadets who go to San Jose’s police academy and then bail for another department will now have to reimburse the city for training costs.
With these raises, San Jose still won’t be a top payer, but it will be competitive. That’s what police Chief Eddie Garcia needs to rebuild the department, and it’s what residents need to feel certain that when they call the police, someone will be there.
• • • • •
Looks like Santa Clara County is becoming (or has already become) a Sanctuary County. We can’t help but wonder how most of the county’s police chiefs feel about this if you could pull them aside and share a couple of beers out of earshot from their respective mayors and council people?
Won’t Become Deportation Force
—Community advocates applaud news, say it will help allay fears—
By Robert Salonga <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Mercury News — March 15, 2017
SAN JOSE — Police leaders and prosecutors Tuesday reaffirmed their commitment to protect and maintain the trust of immigrant communities in Santa Clara County amid fears they could become a deportation force in lockstep with a presidential administration that has been politically aggressive on the issue. Morgan Hill police Chief David Swing, president of the county police chiefs’ association, was joined by San Jose Chief Eddie Garcia, 10 other South Bay chiefs and District Attorney Jeff Rosen at the Mexican Heritage Plaza in East San Jose to convey a “message of solidarity.”
“The agencies of this county will not enforce federal immigration laws,” Swing said. “It is not our mission nor our role ... we will treat all of our residents with dignity regardless of status.” Some cities like San Jose had already made public affirmations to that effect. Swing said the county’s law enforcement contingent banded together to show that the sentiment will be consistent throughout the region, to assuage immigrant residents’ fears,“ not that criminals will victimize them, but that their own local government may target them based on their immigration status.”
Hill Police Chief David Swing, president of the Santa
Clara County Police Chiefs’ Association, speaks at a news
conference backed by other South Bay chiefs to reaffirm the
county’s commitment to protecting immigrant residents.
Those worries are heightened by intense national attention on President Donald Trump’s travel ban for people from six majority-Muslim countries that critics have assailed as a Muslim ban, as well as Trump’s extensive prior rhetoric vilifying immigrants as criminals, particularly those from Mexico.
Local police agencies in the Bay Area, and broadly throughout the state, have long refrained from inquiring about both residents’ and suspects’ immigration status in the course of their work, on the premise that such questions make immigrant communities less willing to report crime and cooperate with police, thereby making the broader city less safe.
District Attorney Jeff Rosen said the importance of that trust between residents and police “can be a matter of life and death” when it comes to solving and preventing violent crime.
“Justice does not ask victims for their immigration papers, and neither do we,” Rosen said.
Community advocates were heartened by the display shown Tuesday, and corroborated the resident fears that the chiefs say they were responding to.
“We’ve been hearing from families on a regular basis about anxiety over being separated from their kids, and kids are asking their parents, ‘Will you be home?’ ” said Eunice Hernandez, an organizer for Sacred Heart Community Service in central San Jose. “It’s really tough. This is a right step.”
That was echoed by the Rev. Jon Pedigo of the Diocese of San Jose, a renowned immigrant advocate whose ministry serves much of the affected population.
“These are not just words,” Pedigo said. “It’s a commitment to us as a community.”
Officials said the stance voiced Tuesday should not be taken to mean that police are interfering or impeding the independent activities of federal immigration agents, but recent events have shown that relationship has grown strained in recent weeks in the Bay Area and the broader region.
Last week, to both great fanfare and criticism, San Francisco police became the first city law-enforcement agency in the country to withdraw from the FBI Joint Terrorism Task Force, based on the contention that its participation could violate city laws protecting immigrants and religious minorities.
There are over 100 such task forces — composed of local law enforcement and federal agents pooling together their intelligence — in the United States.
And in February, Santa Cruz police accused the Department of Homeland Security of parlaying a years-long city gang operation into an immigration enforcement action, contending it destroyed trust between local officers and the community.
Garcia, the San Jose police chief, said his agency will not follow San Francisco in pulling out of the task force.
“You want to be as prepared as you can be,” he said. “Not all federal agencies are directly charged with immigration, and we put the city at risk by not having all of the information possible to protect San Jose.”
• • • • •
That the Mercury News agrees with Santa Clara County becoming a Sanctuary County comes as no surprise…
Chiefs Right to Stay Out of ICE
Editorial — Barbara Marshman, Editorial Page Editor
Mercury News — March 32, 2017
“Sanctuary” has become a linguistic lightning rod. Nobody is neutral on it. Compounding the angst, the word means different things to different people, cities, counties and states.
But one public policy now lumped into the “sanctuary” movement is not new and should not be controversial: keeping local police separate from federal Immigration and Customs Enforcement.
It has been the practice for decades in San Jose and many other cities across California and the nation. Now, it is officially the policy throughout Santa Clara County.
At a news conference last week at San Jose’s Mexican Heritage Plaza, county police chiefs and District Attorney Jeff Rosen announced they had signed a letter unanimously pledging to keep immigration issues out of local police work. “The agencies of this county will not enforce federal immigration laws,” said Morgan Hill police Chief David Swing, president of the county chiefs association. “It is not our mission nor our role. We will treat all of our residents with dignity regardless of status.”
Saying this publicly and unequivocally is as important as the policy itself. It’s critical to building and maintaining trust between residents and police.
In December, San Jose police Chief Eddie Garcia and Mayor Sam Liccardo held a news conference reaffirming the separation of city police from ICE agents. Garcia is a champion of improving police relations with diverse neighborhoods, working to open lines of communication and adding training to improve officers’ ability to listen to residents and defuse situations.
Trust is at the root of public safety. Without it, people will not work with officers on crime prevention. They may fear reporting crimes or testifying when they witness crimes.
At last week’s news conference, Rosen said maintaining this trust “can be a matter of life and death” in solving and preventing crime. Swing went further, saying the purpose was not just to quell immigrants’ fear of becoming crime victims, “but that their own local government may target them based on their immigration status.”
Community activists applauded the letter. The Rev. Jon Pedigo, who works in social ministries in the Diocese of San Jose, said: “These are not just words. It’s a commitment to us as a community.”
Coming from a highly respected advocate for immigrants, that means a lot.
Police aren’t the only ones worried that ICE undermines law enforcement. Last week California Chief Justice Tani Cantil-Sakauye told U.S. Attorney General Jeff Sessions and the Department of Homeland Security to stop using courthouses as “bait” and “stalking” immigrants who “pose no risk to public safety.”
We’re not optimistic that ICE will step back. This is the agency that nabbed a woman awaiting brain surgery from her hospital bed. But we’re relieved to know our courts and local law enforcement are taking a stand.
• • • • •
Regarding the Trump rally in San Jose where many of his supporters were roughed up, get this: “Claims against police chief and mayor are out, but city and individual officers still face accusations from campaign supporters.”
Won’t Throw Out Suit
By Ramona Giwargis <email@example.com>
Mercury News — March 17, 2017
SAN JOSE — A federal judge has denied San Jose’s request to dismiss a lawsuit brought on behalf of Donald Trump supporters who claim city officers steered them into an angry mob of protesters who attacked and injured them as they left a June campaign rally downtown.
“We look forward to pursuing discovery in this case — getting to the bottom of why this situation happened, holding the city liable for what happened to these individuals and ensuring this type of tragedy doesn’t happen again,” said San Francisco attorney Harmeet K. Dhillon, who is representing 20 plaintiffs.
The lawsuit, filed in July 2016, claims San Jose officials allowed supporters of the Republican presidential candidate to be attacked by directing them to walk through a “violent mob” of protesters as they left a downtown Trump rally on June 2. It alleged negligence and civil rights violations.
Dhillon’s clients have alleged police officers, who wore full riot gear, looked on while Trump supporters were brutally attacked.
“It felt like we were the lamb being led to the slaughterhouse,” said Juan Hernandez, a Trump supporter and Log Cabin Republican who suffered a broken nose. “I went down into a fetal position and the punches were coming in at every angle. The officers weren’t doing anything as the attacks were happening. This should not happen anywhere — no matter who you support, Democrat or Republican — this should not happen.”
The lawsuit names 17 defendants, including individual protesters and police officers.
The suit initially named Mayor Sam Liccardo and police Chief Eddie Garcia as defendants, but U.S. District Judge Lucy Koh’s order Wednesday dismissed claims against Garcia, and claims against Liccardo were dropped in November.
The judge on Wednesday found that while Garcia was involved in planning for the political rally, he wasn’t on the ground when the riots happened. Garcia had no comment Wednesday.
Koh, however, allowed the case to continue against the city and a handful of individual police officers who were overseeing the rally. The city tried to claim the police officers are immune from litigation — but Koh denied that request.
San Jose City Attorney Rick Doyle said the city will ultimately prevail, pointing to its success in getting claims against Liccardo and Garcia dismissed. He said San Jose will continue to fight allegations against the city and individual officers.
“The officers didn’t do anything wrong and were trying to maintain some kind of crowd control in a chaotic situation,” Doyle said Wednesday. “At the end of the day, I’m confident we’ll have this case go away.”
Doyle said there “probably” was a plan to direct Trump supporters to exit away from protesters but it was squashed after the Republican billionaire decided to stay and chat with attendees.
“Unfortunately, Mr. Trump hung around after the event to meet with the VIPs,” Doyle said, “and the Secret Service wouldn’t allow anyone in that area. I think we’ll sort that out in deposition.”
Regarding Bert Kelsey’s badge number (1111), even still after my husband's passing (Ron Townsend, Disp 190), when he and I noticed 11:11 on the clock in Communications the comment was made, “It's Bert Kelsey time.” If I remember correctly it was pronounced, “Eleventy-Eleven.” I hope they get together in the Great Beyond and do some serious story swapping.
Vicki Townsend <firstname.lastname@example.org>
• • • • •
Note: Had I not suspended the regular Farsider several weeks ago due to an injury that made it impossible to type with 2 hands, this missive from Kenn Christie would have appeared in the next edition’s Mail Call column; it is therefore several weeks old. Kenn wrote it in response to the photo below that appeared in the Mail Call column a week prior…
As always, I continue to thoroughly enjoy every issue of Farsider that I am able to review....plain, old fantastic work!
I noted an entry in the recent edition which I instantly recalled as being a "bogus" Internet item. This particular entry is one that I'd received a couple of times in recent years from senders who apparently know of my immense pride in the American military. The 2nd or 3rd time I'd received it I was interested to determine where such an assembly of female military veteran amputees would have been assembled? What kind of special event?
I soon discovered that (1) they ARE females, (2) they ARE in fact amputees and (3) they WERE assembled in one spot at one time for this photo. From that point forward the story is in every sense falsified in that it was found to be a civilian medical patients' gathering and photo op in Brazil to generate donations for civilian amputees in that country. (4) NOT ONE of those pictured is known to be a military veteran, (5) NOT ONE of those pictured suffered an injury or amputation from military combat, (6) NOT ONE of those pictured is actually known to be a United States or North American citizen (as far as the investigation went).
NOTHING about this photo represents ACTUAL meritorious combat service. In fact, it becomes a smidge of the far-too-frequent "stolen honor" of those who have suffered such a loss for such a valiant, selfless, honorable and patriotic purpose. I'm sure it was entered without knowing this, but as with the bilge of sewage afloat on the internet, it is easy to "accept" the presentation as factual.
Kenn Christie <email@example.com>
Kenn is spot on, he even provided a Snopes link that debunked the photo and caption. And given my proclivity to vet most of the items that appear in the Farsider that are presented as factual, I feel compelled to offer a mea culpa for not doing so in this case. This is what Snopes said about the pic:
A photograph purportedly showing a group of wounded female veterans who had all lost one or both legs to amputation began circulating online in July 2015. The origins of this meme with its textual overlay describing the women pictured as "wounded female veterans" are unclear, but it has appeared on several web sites and has been widely shared on Facebook.
The women pictured above, however, are not veterans who suffered losses of limbs to combat injuries. According to a February 2015 article from Globo.com, the photograph shows a group of Brazilian women who gathered together for a calendar photo shoot in order to raise money for amputees who cannot afford prosthetic limbs:
• • • • •
If your readers who voted from Trump are depressed because of the rain, this video should lift their spirits. Hillary’s supporters, however, might want to skip it and move on.
• • • • •
If the Republican party is still alive in 2040 — which is not a given — this 11-year-old girl who was interviewed at CPAC 2017 may be the GOP’s best bet at capturing the White House. Watch the attached video and see if you don’t agree.
• • • • •
If you are really fair and balanced would you please pass this song along to your readers who voted for Hillary instead of Trump? I realize we are in the minority among your readers, but it would prove that you are an equal opportunity editor. I ask just one favor: To keep peace in my retired SJPD family, please withhold my name. I trust that you will. The song is attached.
(Name withheld by request)
While it’s no secret that most of the mail I receive comes from right-minded readers (no pun intended), those on the left are just as welcome to submit letters for the Mail Call column. And I fully understand why they may want to use a pseudonym or ask that their name be withheld. HERE is what's-his-name's song.
MARCH VANGUARD IS ONLINE
Hard copies of the POA’s News Magazine have already been mailed. Click HERE to access the POA website, then scroll down and click on the image of the Vanguard to download the magazine to your desktop.
RETIREES’ ASSOCIATION NEWS
March 13, 2017
As you know, the Association is working to achieve a fair resolution to the problem created by the City of San Jose allegedly miscalculating the pensionable impacts of FSLA pay for retirees. While dialogue with the Retirement Board has been productive, the dialogue with the City of San Jose, specifically the Department of Finance which is responsible for this fiasco, has been non-existent.
We sent THIS letter to City Manager Norberto Duenas last week to attempt to bring the appropriate attention to the matter.
We will keep you informed on this matter as new developments arise.
Mike Alford <firstname.lastname@example.org>
ANOTHER SAN JOSE COP ACCEPTS CHIEF’S JOB
College of Marin Welcomes New Police Chief
By Alex Kekauoha — Bay City News
Feb. 2, 2017
Officials for the Marin Community College District announced Wednesday the appointment of a new police chief who will be sworn in later this month to oversee the two College of Marin campuses.
Jeff Marozick was appointed by the school’s Board of Trustees at their Jan. 17 meeting. He will replace interim Chief John Adams, who has held the position since July 1.
Marozick comes to the College of Marin after spending 25 years with the San Jose Police Department.
After earning a bachelor’s degree from San Jose State University, he was hired by the city’s Police Department in 1992. He worked as a patrol officer before being promoted to sergeant in 2002. Six years later, he was promoted again to lieutenant, before returning to patrol.
In 2011, Marozick became a captain and was assigned to the Special Operations Division. Later, he was selected to attend the FBI National Academy, where he graduated in 2012.
Marozick was twice awarded Officer of the Year for his work with the San Jose Police Department.
Marozick said in a statement: “Coming to College of Marin is a great opportunity to use my experience working through different challenges at the San Jose Police Department to come up with solutions that keep the community safe…I’m excited to get out from behind the desk and engage with the college’s students, staff, and the community to figure out their needs.”
The Marin Community College District Police Department is tasked with providing 24-hour patrol protection to the College of Marin’s Kentfield and Indian Valley college campuses. All district police officers have full law enforcement powers and responsibilities, college officials said.
College of Marin superintendent and president David Wain Coon said he was looking forward to Marozick joining the college.
Wain Coon said in a statement: “The depth and varied nature of his previous experience will enhance the district’s community-policing program as we continue to provide a safe environment for learning and cultural enhancement.”
Marozick will be sworn in at a ceremony during the Board of Trustees meeting on Feb. 21 at 7 p.m. in the Academic Center, Room 255 at the Kentfield campus.
• • • • •
And the List Continues to Grow…
SJPD personnel who left and became Chiefs of other law enforcement agencies as of March 19, 2017:
(alphabetical by first name)
• Andy Galea — Los Altos, CA
• Bill Clark — Newport, WA
• Bill Lansdowne — Richmond, CA; San Diego, CA
• Bob Allen — Capitola, CA
• Bob Bradshaw — Reno, NV; Concord CA; Nevada Highway Patrol
• Brian Ferrante — Sand City, CA
• Bud Bye — San Jose-Evergreen Community College District Police
• Chris Ebert — Marion, IA
• Dan Ortega — Salinas, CA
• Dave Hober — Monterey, CA
• Dave Honda — Watsonville
• David Schrader — Evanston, Wyoming
• Dennis Flynn — Laramie County, Wyoming
• Diane Urban — Hayward, CA
• Eric Sills — Greenfield, CA; Soledad, CA
• Gary Leonard — Grand Junction, CO; Alexandria, VA; Sandy City, UT; Greenfield, CA; West Sacramento, CA
• Gus Kettman — Palm Springs, CA
• Jay Propst — Boulder, CO
• Jeff Marozick — Marin Community College District Police
• Jerry Bowers — Piedmont, CA
• Jerry Smith — Chief of Investigators, San Benito County D.A.’s Office
• Jeff Marozick — Marin Co. Community College District Police
• JR "Junior" Gamez — Redwood City, CA
• Ken Tanaka — West Valley-Mission Community College District
• Larry Esquivel — Tracy, CA
• Lee Brown — Multnomah Co., OR; Atlanta, GA; Houston, TX; New York City, NY
• Lou Cobarruviaz — Redwood City, CA
• Manny Martinez — Daly City, CA
• Mark Anderson — Lynden, WA
• Martin Monica — Parlier, CA
• Mike Maehler — Longmont, CO; Concord, CA; Mountain View, CA; Sunnyvale, CA
• Pat Dwyer — Sunnyvale, CA; Palo Alto, CA; Hayward, CA
• Pete Decena — San Jose State University Police
• Pete Oliver — Chief of Investigators, Santa Clara County D.A.’s Office
• Phan Ngo — Sunnyvale DPS, CA
• Rich Couser — Contra Costa Community College District Police
• Rich Gummow — Juneau, AK
• Richard Cadenasso — Elk Grove Unified School District Police
• Richard Calderon — Gustine, CA
• Rikki Goede — Piedmont, CA
• Ruben Chavez — Livingston, CA
• Russ Russell — San Juan Bautista, CA; Coalinga, CA; Parlier, CA
• Scott Seaman — Los Gatos, CA
• Tom Brewer — Chief of Investigators, Santa Clara County D.A.’s Office
• Tom Frazier — Baltimore, MD
• Tom Navin — Capitol Police Dept., NV
• Tommy Morales — Evergreen College District Police
• Tuck Younis — Los Altos, CA
• Walt Tibbett — Alameda, CA and Fairfield, CA
THIS IS YOUR OFFICIAL INVITATION TO SOMETHING SPECIAL
San Jose Police Emerald Society Introduction Meeting
Where: POA Hall
When: Next Thursday, March 30, 1700-1800 hrs.
Who: Sworn, Non-sworn, Retirees, Friends, & Family
“Rendering Support and Keeping Their Memory Alive”
Come join us for short informational presentation on starting an Emerald Society right here in San Jose. See how you can help support fallen officers families, maintain the memories of those passed, honoring those after retirement, supporting each other, and all the while having fun doing it!
Visit and Like our Facebook page at <https://www.facebook.com/SanJosePoliceEmeraldSociety/>
Contact Brian Hyland at <email@example.com> for more info
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAYS, BOYS. SORRY WE WERE M.I.A.
February Birthdays from the Feb 15th PBA meeting…
Ernie Alcantar; Rick Confer; Tang Le; and George Padilla
~ ~ ~
March Birthday Boys from the March 15th PBA meeting…
Glenn Bytheway; Ken Hawkes; John Carr, Sr.; Carlos Paredes; and Ron Habina
STORIES OF THE WEEK
Letter from a North Dakota
Farm Kid who Joined the Marines
(Parris Island Marine Corps Recruit Training)
Dear Ma and Pa,
I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.
I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to fetch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing. Men got to shave but it's not so bad, there's warm water.
Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food, plus yours, holds you until noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.
We go on 'route marches,' which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A 'route march' is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.
The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.
This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.
Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6 and 130 pounds and he's 6'8 and near 300 pounds dry.
Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.
Your loving daughter,
~ ~ ~
Received from Tom Macris
An man lay
sprawled across three entire seats in the movie theater. When the usher came by
and noticed this, he whispered to the old man,
"Sorry sir, but you're only allowed one seat."
The old man didn't budge.
The usher became more impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager."
Once again, the old man just muttered and did nothing.
The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment he returned with the manager.
Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the old disheveled man, but with no success.
Finally they summoned the police.
The officer surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy what's your name?"
"Fred," the old man moaned.
"Where you from, Fred?" asked the police officer.
With a terrible strain in his voice, and without moving, Fred replied: "The balcony!
~ ~ ~
We Seniors Don't Understand Directions…
Submitted by Ken Hawkes
I went to my nearby CVS Pharmacy, straight to the back, where the Pharmacists' high counter is located.
I took out my little brown bottle, along with a teaspoon, and set them up on the counter.
The Pharmacist came over, smiled, and asked if he could help me. I said, "Yes! Could you please taste this for me?”
Seeing a senior citizen, the Pharmacist went along.
He took the spoon, put a tiny bit of the liquid on it, put it on his tongue and swilled it around.
Then, with a stomach-churning look on his face, he spat it out on the floor and began coughing.
When he was finally finished, I looked him right in the eye and asked, “Now, does that taste sweet to you?"
The Pharmacist, shaking his head back and forth with a venomous look in his eyes yelled, "HELL NO!"
I said, "Oh, thank God! That's a relief! My doctor told me to have a Pharmacist test my urine for sugar!"
I am not allowed to go back to that CVS, but I really don't care because they aren't very friendly there anyway!
'Almost' the Perfect Nursing Home
A family brought their elderly mother to a nursing home and checked her in. While sitting in her new room, she slowly started to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive orderlies immediately straightened her up. After a while, she started to tilt to the other side. The orderlies rushed back to put her upright again. This went on all morning and the rest of the day. When the family arrived the following morning and asked how she liked the nursling home, she replied, "It's pretty nice, but they won't let you fart."
THE BEST OF THE LATE NITE JOKES
March 14 — 21
March 14: Everybody’s talking about this giant storm. It’s the huge blizzard that hit the East Coast, and I read that 120 million people were affected by today’s snowstorm. Yeah, 120 million people worked from home — on their March Madness brackets.
Last night was the big finale of “The Bachelor.” Nick wound up getting engaged to Vanessa, a teacher from Canada. Nick didn’t plan on marrying Vanessa, but after seeing the GOP healthcare plan, moving to Canada was the logical decision.
The ring Nick gave Vanessa when he proposed cost $100,000, which explains the next show Vanessa will be appearing on, “Pawn Stars.”
But despite the engagement, it’s hard to say what Nick’s future holds, if you think about it. I mean, he’s a reality star who has married an immigrant he barely knows and — oh, my God, he’s going to be president of the United States.
I read about a marijuana dispensary in Los Angeles that doubles as an art gallery. Yep. Patrons stare at the art for hours before being told, “Sir, that’s an exit sign.”
March 15: We have Rachel Maddow on the show tonight! Rachel’s in the news because she got ahold of Donald Trump’s 2005 tax return on her show. But a lot of people were saying it didn’t really show much. So I guess last night, people had to pick between watching “This Is Us” or “This Is Nothing.”
Meanwhile, the White House is also criticizing Rachel Maddow, saying it’s “totally illegal to steal and publish tax returns.” They said the documents should be released the proper way: by having a Russian hacker give them to WikiLeaks.
A White House aide says that when he gets home, he turns off his work phone and puts it in a drawer because he’s afraid it can listen to him. Meanwhile when she gets home, Kellyanne Conway hides her microwave in the closet.
Russia may have trouble getting athletes to compete in the 2018 Olympics after their big doping scandal. People were confused — they were like, “You can rig an ELECTION, but not a urine test?”
March 16: It’s another setback for President Trump. Last night, a federal judge in Hawaii blocked a second version of his travel ban, and now Trump says that he’ll bring it to the Supreme Court. And if they block it, he said he’s going to bring it to the Justice League.
It is almost St. Patrick’s Day. I saw that today, Ireland’s prime minister visited the White House and gave Trump a bowl filled with shamrocks. And Trump was like, “Where are the tiny marshmallows? How am I supposed to eat this without any milk?”
Trump met with the prime minister of Ireland. He even recited an Irish proverb. Take a listen to this [clip of Trump reciting]: “Always remember to forget the friends that proved untrue, but never forget to remember those that have stuck by you.” [Fallon imitates Trump:] “I do not like the judge who blocked my travel ban. I do not like him, Trump I am.”
While he was in Tennessee yesterday, Trump gave a speech from the estate of former President Andrew Jackson. Trump may have been confused because he also praised Andrew Jackson’s brothers Michael, Jermaine, Randy, and Tito.
March 20: Today is the first day of spring! Yep, it’s that day when millions of Americans look at their bodies in the mirror and ask, “Can we get, like, two more months of winter?”
Of course springtime means spring cleaning, and a lot of people are throwing out things they no longer need. You know – like clothing, old books and March Madness brackets.
South Carolina pulled off a huge upset by beating Duke to move on to the Sweet 16. Now the only question is whether Russia helped.
There were actually several March Madness upsets this weekend, with Wisconsin taking out top overall seed Villanova, and Michigan beating Louisville. I haven’t seen Wisconsin and Michigan knock out the favorite since ... the election.
A man claims that this weekend, he snuck past Secret Service at Mar-a-Lago to take a selfie in President Trump’s private study. But Trump is denying this, saying there is no way he’d ever have a study.
March 21: FBI Director James Comey confirmed that the agency is examining possible ties between Russia and President Trump’s campaign. When asked if they’d found anything yet, Comey said [NODDING YES], “I can’t comment on an ongoing investigation.”
However, Comey refused to say whether Trump himself was being investigated. It’s part of his policy not to comment on ongoing investigations ... that don’t involve Hillary Clinton.
As you’d expect, there’s a lot of material to go through, and Comey said there’s no timetable for when the FBI will finish. Then Putin said, “It’s like the ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ of investigations. When you think it will end ... it does not.”
In the meantime, Trump’s keeping busy. Today, he signed a bill authorizing nearly $20 billion in funding for NASA. You know — as long as they find a way to project his face onto the moon.
March 14: The entire Northeast is being hit by Winter Storm Stella, the first blizzard of 2017. Of course, now that Obamacare is getting repealed, it’s nice to see something’s still covering half the country.
Vladimir Putin is reportedly frustrated by the lack of progress in U.S.-Russian diplomacy since President Trump took office. He’s not happy. In fact, Putin is so frustrated, today he called Trump and threatened to fire him.
Press Secretary Sean Spicer says that President Trump didn’t literally mean that President Obama wiretapped him. He also said Donald Trump didn’t literally mean for people to vote for him. That was not the idea.
Today, President Trump had lunch with a Saudi prince. Trump told the Saudi prince, “We have a lot in common. My wife doesn’t leave the house, either.”
White House strategist Steve Bannon is under criminal investigation for voter fraud. Reportedly he voted last year in Florida while still technically a resident of 1930s Germany. Can’t have it both ways.
An Ohio couple was arrested for faking their own murder. People grew suspicious when the couple changed their Facebook status to “We’ve been murdered.” Sad!
New research just came out that finds that consuming potatoes and alcohol can lower your sperm count. So, fellas, this St. Patrick’s Day could be our last.
By the way, sorry, if that were true, I wouldn’t be alive. I’m one of six kids. There’s no way. That’s all we had. Have your tater! That’s how my parents greeted me every morning — have your tater! And they threw it at me, hit me on the head.
Last night was the season finale of ABC’s “The Bachelor.” And tonight is the season premiere of “The Bachelor” spinoff, “Herpes in Paradise.” So check that out. It’s a good one.
March 15: Defense Secretary James “Mad Dog” Mattis said climate change is real and threatening global stability. He then asked that his nickname be changed to “Reasonable Dog.”
Rachel Maddow’s much-hyped release of Donald Trump’s 2005 tax returns last night was considered by many to be a letdown. No one’s been this disappointed by Rachel Maddow since the guy who took her to the prom.
Last night, President Trump’s tax return from 2005 was released, showing that he paid $38 million in taxes. Trump would have paid more, but he listed Vladimir Putin as a dependent.
Last night, President Trump’s tax return from 2005 was released, showing that he had an income of more than $150 million. When they heard this, Trump supporters said, “$150 million? See, he IS one of us!”
El Chapo’s lawyers say that while in U.S. custody, his health is deteriorating. El Chapo has lost so much weight, he’s down two tunnel sizes.
Scientists believe they may have found a plant that is over a billion years old. Turns out it’s the lettuce on a Carl’s Jr. burger.
March 20: Yesterday was the L.A. Marathon. Actually there wasn’t supposed to be a marathon — people on the 405 freeway just gave up and got out of their cars.
It has come out that, just like President Trump, even George Washington used to complain about leaks. There was that time Washington said of Paul Revere, “Fake horseman dead wrong about British arrival. Sad!”
It’s come out that President Trump said he wants the border wall to be very tall and very attractive. He also wants to replace the wall after 10 years of marriage.
Over the last week, the White House has had three security scares. The Secret Service said two people tried to break in, and one first lady tried to break out.
A hospital in Britain will be the first permitted to create babies with three biological parents. It’s being called the weirdest experiment in British genetics since the entire royal family.
March 21: It’s being reported that Donald Trump campaign adviser Roger Stone has a tattoo of Richard Nixon across his shoulders. And get this — ladies, he’s single.
Today President Trump gave NASA $19.5 billion to develop a manned mission to Mars. President Trump said he wants to see if Mars can sustain life and a casino.
Today is the 11th birthday of Twitter. That’s right folks, 11 years ago, Donald Trump was just writing crazy things on Post-It notes.
A robot has been taught how to write rap songs by being fed more than 6,000 Kanye West lyrics. The problem is, now the robot thinks it’s God.
March 14: White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer announced yesterday that Donald Trump would be donating his presidential salary to a charity at the end of the year. Credit where credit is due — Trump is getting pretty creative in the ways he’s refusing to pay his taxes.
Spicer said not only will Trump donate his salary, he would love for White House reporters to determine “where it should go.” Unfortunately, where they suggested it should go is not a place that I can say on television.
But seriously, how great would it be if the reporters all chose Planned Parenthood?
Trump’s adviser, Kellyanne Conway, gave a TV interview on Sunday and people noticed that she displays a photo of herself in her living room. This is true. Take a look at the photo just there. Wow, her microwave takes great pictures!
Who has a framed picture of themselves, on their own, in their living room? She should change her name from Kellyanne Conway to Kellyanne Kanye.
March 16: You guys have all been watching the March Madness games — that’s why we’re on a little later tonight. So, drunk people just getting home: Welcome to the show. And senior citizens sitting down to breakfast: Good morning.
Technically right now is Friday, and that means today is St. Patrick’s Day. I read that Americans could spend over $5 billion for St. Patrick’s Day this year. Yeah, that’s JUST on bail money.
On Thursday morning, the Twitter account for McDonald’s tweeted this: “Donald Trump, you are actually a disgusting excuse of a president and we would love to have Barack Obama back, also you have tiny hands.” Who would have thought? Now it turned out that the account was hacked, but still, I’ve got to say: Ba-da-ba-ba-bah, I’m lovin’ it.
Even though McDonald’s deleted the tweet and issued a retraction, the White House is furious. And they are already calling for Mayor McCheese to step down.
Meanwhile, yesterday Trump’s Attorney General Jeff Sessions referred to marijuana as, quote, “only slightly less awful than heroin.” Only slightly less awful — I mean, is he on crack?
Workers at a Goodwill store in Washington state got a big surprise when they opened a donated cooler and inside they found $24,000 worth of marijuana. GOODwill? More like AWESOMEwill.
There were five giant bags of marijuana in the cooler. And when he found them, the Goodwill worker immediately turned over the three bags he found to the police. The police then gave the 1 ounce of marijuana they found to the chief, who went to the commissioner and said, “Look, we found a joint!”
March 20: It’s the first day of spring. Spring has sprung, so congratulations to the people of Nebraska, who survived winter. Now all you’ve got to do is get through severe thunderstorm and tornado season.
One place where things aren’t getting warmer is at the White House, where on Friday Donald Trump met with German Chancellor Angela Merkel and appeared to ignore requests for a handshake with her. [Plays clip] They don’t look like two world leaders. They look like two people at a divorce hearing.
Some critics are calling this sexist, other people are saying it is because Trump is a germaphobe, others say he is just rude. I’m like: Guys, it’s all of the above.
Plans for the border wall continue and on Sunday, Fox News reported several requirements that the White House issued for the wall. They said it must be 30 feet high, good-looking from the U.S. side, and difficult to break through. Basically the wall should be tall but not fat or ugly.
It’s pretty much like Trump updated the Miss Universe regulations and just made them about the wall.
March 21: Ivanka Trump is getting an office in the West Wing despite previously stating she would not take a formal role in her father’s administration. The administration has said Ivanka is going to act as her father’s “eyes and ears,” which basically means she’s going to be walking around the White House saying, “I’m telling Dad!”
I’m glad Ivanka is going to be her father’s “eyes and ears.” Now all we need is for her to take over his mouth, and his tweeting thumb.
Disney World has agreed to pay $3.8 million to workers who were making less than minimum wage and had to pay for their own costumes. That works out to around $238 per person, which is almost enough to buy a bottle of water at Disney World.
I guess at Disney World, if Cinderella loses her glass slipper, a prince doesn’t bring it to her. They just take it out of her next paycheck.
March 14: It’s freezing all over the country except it was 86 degrees here in L.A. today. I won’t say it’s THE reason people hate us, but it’s one of the reasons everyone hates us.
Make no mistake: You turn on the Weather Channel, try to find out what’s going on, you see the meteorologists giving advice, telling you to be careful — make no mistake, those people are not on your side. Those people are rooting AGAINST us and FOR the weather, they’re rooting for the snow.
College students are out of town for spring break. This is the time of year students take a well-deserved break from partying and drinking at school to go party and drink on a beach or perhaps another town.
Over the next few weeks more than 50,000 future careers will be ruined by photos posted on Facebook of spring break.
If you are away on spring break, have fun, do whatever you need to do. Don’t forget Congress is about to take away your healthcare, so if you’re going to do something dumb, do it now while it’s still covered.
The NCAA basketball tournament is kind of under way. Tonight what they call the First Four starts, play-in games for the teams that have absolutely no chance of winning anything, they’re a waste of time. After tomorrow 64 teams will compete. The next few weeks they’ll be whittled down until only two teams remain. Then those two teams will get married by Chris Harrison, is that how it works?
Every year they do studies about all the money companies lose because their employees are watching the basketball tournament instead of working. That may have been true in 1995, but if your employees are wasting time watching basketball, they’d be wasting time on Instagram and Facebook. That’s just how it is. Wasting time is our full-time job now.
March 15: I want to send a warm welcome to those of you watching on the East Coast, where Winter Storm Stella has not been as terrible as everyone seemed to think it would be. This was supposed to be a huge storm. Then Rachel Maddow talked about it on MSNBC for an hour and it turned out to be nothing.
On Twitter yesterday Rachel Maddow wrote, “I have Trump’s tax returns, I will be revealing them on-air.” Of course everyone went nuts. This is how crazy he’s made us. We’re rushing to our TVs screaming, “Quick! Rachel Maddow’s about to show a 1040 form!”
The show starts, she does a 19-minute-long monologue about why it’s important to see a president’s tax returns, then says, “We’ll see Donald Trump’s taxes after this.” She Ryan Seacrested us!
According to the first two pages, Trump made $150 million in income, paid $38 million in taxes in 2005. Some people were surprised he paid any taxes at all. 2005 was an off year for everyone. Johnny Depp made that Willy Wonka movie. Kanye West and George Bush had that problem. Harry Potter’s goblet caught on fire. And Donald Trump accidentally paid some taxes.
Here’s the thing: Donald Trump is never going to release his taxes — or the kraken, or Melania, for that matter.
The only result of what happened last night is Rachel Maddow topped Rosie O’Donnell as Donald Trump’s least-favorite lesbian.
A woman on flight from Beijing to Melbourne had her headphones in, then her headphones exploded. They went up in flames. They’re not sure if it was due to a defect in the headphones or the batteries were bad or if she was just listening to a really good song. The worst part is she still has no idea how “Moana” ends.
March 16: There’s a lot of lead-up to March Madness, but for half the teams, the tournament ends very abruptly. Sixteen teams were eliminated today. Maybe you wanted to win, but the good news is, now you get to return to your studies. Which is why you go to college in the first place.
They say American businesses will lose more than $2 billion in productivity because of the tournament. If that’s true, we should probably get rid of it, right? Can you imagine if Donald Trump canceled the NCAA tournament? Then we’d see some marches.
President Trump released his proposed budget today. The title of the budget is “America First: A Budget Blueprint to Make America Great Again.” Seems like maybe while they were cutting things, they could have cut a few words out of the title.
There are a lot of cuts in the plan. PBS, Meals on Wheels, the National Endowment for the Arts would be cut. The guy who has three oil paintings of himself in his bathroom wants to cut the National Endowment for the Arts. Meals on Wheels is out, but don’t worry, the golf trips to Mar-a-Lago every weekend, those will not stop.
Before he gets rid of “Sesame Street,” I think we should make the president watch it a couple of times. That show teaches so many things he needs to know — which thing is bigger than the other, how to spell, the importance of telling the truth and sharing, listening to others, maybe throw in some “Schoolhouse Rock” — he can find out how government works.
Meanwhile, a federal judge in Hawaii blocked the president’s new travel ban, which is supposed to have gone into effect at midnight. That is really amazing to me — they have judges in Hawaii?
In Monroe, Washington, there’s a mystery to be solved. Someone made a very unique donation to the Goodwill store up there — a cooler containing five large bags of marijuana, weighing a total of 60 ounces. Almost four pounds, like $20,000 worth of pot, was left in; they assume it was left in there by mistake. What are the odds a pot smoker would forget he stashed weed in a cooler?
The live action version of “Beauty and the Beast” opens tomorrow. It’s the story of a beautiful woman from a small village who falls for a selfish, disgusting monster who lives in a palace filled with gold. Melania Trump is calling it the feel-good movie of the year.
March 20: Trump’s approval rating is down to 37 percent. Bill Clinton had to do weird stuff with cigars to get it to 37 percent. Trump has the highest low approval rating of any president ever.
He met with Bill Gates today. It was a historic meeting — America’s two worst haircuts in the Oval Office together for the first time.
They reportedly talked about their shared commitment to finding and stopping disease outbreaks around the world. You know, that’s great. But if Bill Gates wanted to do some good he should have grabbed Trump’s phone and locked him out of his Twitter account.
March 21: Ivanka Trump is getting an office at the White House and she’s getting top-level security clearance. She will take a position in the White House where she’ll draw upon her 20 years of foreign and domestic policy experience that she gained selling sandals to Nordstrom.
Her role is that she will serve as her father’s “eyes and ears” at the White House. He doesn’t need that. He needs somebody to be his thumbs so he can stop tweeting.
Her office is on the second floor of the West Wing, not far from the Oval Office. I suspect they put her there so somebody can run and grab her in case her father decides to nuke anything. She might be the only one he’ll listen to.
Meanwhile, poor Tiffany Trump can’t even get the White House Wi-Fi password.
The president was in Louisville, Kentucky, last night. He held a rally there. Why, I’m not sure — he might be trying to sell hats he had left over from the campaign.
March 14: Thousands of flights were canceled today due to a powerful winter storm. Either that or Trump’s new travel ban is for all of us.
President Trump yesterday described the discussions over the Republican health plan as a, quote, “big, fat, beautiful negotiation.” Well, he’s making progress. It’s the first time he’s ever described anything as fat AND beautiful.
A woman confronted White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer in an Apple Store this weekend. Not sure where he was in the Apple Store, but safe to say, not at the Genius Bar.
An Oregon man led police on a 10-mile, high-speed chase on Sunday in a stolen street sweeper truck. On the bright side, by the time he was arrested, his community service was done.
Police in South Carolina charged a substitute teacher last week for allegedly being drunk while in class. Students realized she was drunk after she kept referring to lunch period as “Miller time.”
March 15: Rachel Maddow aired an exclusive report last night uncovering a portion of President Trump’s 2005 tax return. Specifically the part where he claimed Ivanka and Donald Jr. as dependents and tried to write off Eric as a loss.
Maddow also reported last night that President Trump claimed over $100 million in business losses in 2005. How do you lose $100 million in 2005? Did you buy stock in Heidi Montag?
Today was Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s 84th birthday. I don’t know how she celebrated, but I hope it was carefully.
Adult website PornHub offered free snow removal during the blizzard yesterday to people in Boston and New Jersey. They cleared your sidewalk, your driveway, and your browser history.
March 16: Today was the start of March Madness. That’s right, President Trump released his new budget today.
President Trump’s proposed budget would cut funding for public broadcasting. Which may explain why Elmo is turning tickles on the street now.
McDonald’s said today its corporate Twitter account had been hacked after a tweet went out calling President Trump a “disgusting excuse of a president.” I guess breakfast isn’t the ONLY thing they’re serving all day.
Hillary Clinton is reportedly still considering a run for mayor of New York City. And, weirdly, this time she IS campaigning in Michigan and Wisconsin. Fool me once, right?
President Trump yesterday suggested that Chief of Staff Reince Priebus might someday run a car company. Oh my God, does Trump think his name is Prius?
In an interview yesterday with Fox News, President Trump said he might not be president if it wasn’t for Twitter. Dude, you said that to Fox News? That’s like telling your dad that your hero is your friend’s dad.
March 20: James Comey said today that he has found “no information that supports” President Trump’s tweets that former President Obama wiretapped Trump Tower. Added Comey, “To be fair, the only place we’ve checked is in Hillary’s emails.”
A Moscow zoo is suing a company that hired one of its raccoons to appear in a commercial, saying that when the animal returned it was “attracted to women’s breasts.” Or as Mike Pence calls it, “a successful conversion.”
A Canadian woman last week proposed to her boyfriend at a hockey game with a bouquet of Doritos made to look like roses. It even spawned a new flavor — Nacho Boyfriend Anymore.
March 21: The Kremlin today dismissed allegations of Russia interference in the election, [shows photo of Trump] and so did the gremlin.
President Trump signed a funding bill today that supports NASA’s efforts to explore deep space and lay the groundwork for a human mission to Mars. [shows photo of Hillary] “Ooh, me first!” said one volunteer.
Passengers on foreign airlines traveling to the U.S. from 10 airports in Muslim-majority countries have been barred from carrying electronic devices larger than a cellphone. Seems extreme, but it’s worth it if it stops even one tourist from taking pictures with an iPad.
Ivanka Trump is reportedly getting an office in the White House in addition to security clearance and government-issued communication devices. Even more unbelievable, so is Donald Trump.
March 14: We were supposed to get up to 2 feet of snow, but it turned to sleet early — just cold and brittle, right in your face. It reminded me of Kellyanne Conway.
New Yorkers are flocking to Craigslist looking for a “blizzard buddy.” You know, a blizzard buddy. Somebody to come over for a little Netflix and wind chill. It could be fun.
One adult video website announced it would donate snow removal services to several cities in the Northeast because it wants to “plow Boston.” Very generous. Very, very generous. I’m not sure I trust the porn industry with city services. I mean, these people can barely deliver a pizza.
But if this works out, maybe porn companies can take over other government functions, because like the Trump administration, they feature real, live amateurs.
It came out last night that Rex Tillerson used an email alias while he was CEO of Exxon to discuss climate change on the sly. So in the Trump administration, you can be a sexist, or a white supremacist, but you’re gonna want to keep your science talk on the D.L.
March 15: Last night at around 7:30, our friend Rachel Maddow unleashed a Force 5 tweet-icon with: “We’ve got Trump tax returns. Tonight, 9 p.m., MSNBC. Seriously.” So important for news networks to add “seriously” to any announcement, so the audience knows you’re not pranking them.
We all watched the Twitter feed. And when 9 p.m. came, Rachel took us on an emotional roller coaster — because, like a roller coaster, at the end we were all right back where we started, and feeling a little queasy.
First, she let us know just how much information she had. Then after 20 minutes of explaining what taxes are and who Donald Trump is, Maddow was ready show us the tax return. “We’ll go through it next.” What! A cliffhanger? Is this news or a reality show? I don’t want to watch “America’s Got 1040s.”
March 20: Last week, President Trump released his first budget. They’re calling it a hard-power budget because it features a $54 billion increase in military spending, and to pay for the new spending, Trump is cutting everything else, like the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, which funds PBS. Look, Trump’s a real-estate developer. It was only a matter of time until he put up condos on Sesame Street.
Trump is also eliminating the National Endowment for the Arts and the National Endowment for the Humanities. I am not surprised, because he is jealous of anyone who is well-endowed.
WEEKLY SNOPES URBAN LEGEND UPDATE
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Do you remember former San Jose cop David Paulides? If so, do you know what he’s doing these days? You may or may not want to sit through all of THIS 90-minute video; just a minute or two will show you what he has been up to. (1:29:45)
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If you can spare 4 minutes, we recommend you watch THIS short film about a young bear. It was sent in by Bill Mallett, and we guarantee you won’t regret it. (If, by chance, you do regret it, we’ll refund you the cost of your ticket!) (4:08)
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Steve Postier says this is one of those days the owner of THIS car should have stayed in bed. (0:30)
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The term “Lucky bugger” certainly seems to fit this video. If THIS driver doesn’t immediately buy a lottery ticket he could be missing out on a big score. (1:06)
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A Sheriff’s Deputy in Colorado Springs had a great idea for his last day of work before retirement. Instead of holding in how excited he was about retiring, Tony Scherb decided to show off his best dance moves in celebration of the big day. He chose an elevator as his stage, thinking his moves would be hidden from his co-workers and their potentially judgemental looks. Fortunately, maintenance had just installed a security camera on the ceiling of the elevator to help monitor recent issues. When the doors shut and this deputy cranks his music up, well…let’s just say that he won’t be retiring from dancing anytime soon. Have a LOOK. (3:14)
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The Bad Lip Reading people worked a number on the incoming and outgoing presidents on Inauguration Day and some of the other “swells” who were in attendance. Click HERE if you want to see what the deaf community may have thought they said. (4:26)
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Watch what happens when a bank robber wearing a mask and wielding a handgun enters the bank and winds up getting dusted by the bank guard in the white shirt. In San Francisco, the guard would have likely been charged with at least manslaughter since he shot the robber as he was trying to flee the scene. That wasn’t the case in Winnebago County, Illinois, where the State’s Attorney’s Office refused to charge the guard. There are three camera views starting with the bad guy getting out of his vehicle, but no audio. Click HERE to watch the failed 211. (1:39)
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As most of you retired cops are aware, mastering the gangster shooting stance and grip is very difficult and complicated to learn. As a public service, we are presenting THIS Matt Steele video that will show you how to perform both the basic and super gangster or crack dealer modified grip. Pay attention, and remember...practice, practice, practice! (2:36)
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Here’s our challenge of the week: Watch THIS clip we received from Alice Murphy and count the number of children who get off this “school bus” in Mongolia at the beginning of the school day. (2:32)
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If you haven’t toured the New Almaden Quicksilver Mine and its museum where Doug Bergtholdt volunteers as a docent on Sundays, it is certainly worth a visit. C-SPAN recently produced THIS video about the local historical site. (6:11)
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Doug also sent in this item about the Dutch Army Bicycle Band that takes the skill of marching to a whole new level. Mastering rhythm, balance and coordination, these musicians make the playing of instruments while riding bicycles at the same time look like fun. Most of them play with one hand and steer the bike with the other, except for the poor snare drum player who needs to use both hands to go rat-a-tat-tat. THIS performance took place at "The Music Show of the Nations 2004" in Bremen, Germany. (4:30)
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This story about the last of the world’s flyable B-29s from WWII and the Korean War should interest those of you with an interest in military aviation. Click HERE to play the video. (7:39)
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This episode of “Jay Leno’s Garage” received from Doug Bergtholdt is a “DON'T MISS” if you are a car freak, especially the footage that begins at the 3:10 mark that will surprise you as much as it surprised the former late night talk show host. (5:15)
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You might want to check your TV Guide for the BBC America channel so you don’t miss this new show titled “The Real Housewives of ISIS.” Sounds like it could be a hit if it doesn’t bomb. (1:46)
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I have received several private emails from readers who want to know how I like my new all-electric Chevy Bolt. For the record, it may be one of the finest cars I have ever owned. As much as I love it, however, I have to admit that I was first drawn to the new Mercedes AA Class EV that runs on AA batteries, primarily because I still have a crush on Mercedes spokesperson Julia Louis-Dreyfus, who played the Elaine on “Seinfeld.” That woman could sell me almost anything. Check out THIS ad. (2:08)
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Thanks to THIS link received from Joe Suske, I now know that the Number One song at the top of the charts on the day I was born (1/26/44) was “Paper Doll” by the Mills Brothers. And as a bonus, I got to hear it as well. Give it a try and see if this works for you, too. (P.S. It also pointed out that when I clicked on the link, I was born 38,474,863 minutes ago.)
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Ladies, keep a bottle of water with you. THIS foreign commercial from a bottled water company received from Alice Murphy shows how it can save your life. (0:38)
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If you have never seen a canine administer CPR on a fallen “soldier,” have a look at THIS clip. (4:04)
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Just like in the human world, don’t count on canines to cover for their sibling when one does something wrong like steal a cookie off the counter. Several readers sent in THIS clip as proof. (1:41)
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What’s amazing about this clip is that I have some friends who are incapable of building a hammock, unlike THIS critter. (4:00)
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Spectacular is the only way to describe THIS clip. A BBC crew made a spy camera to look like a crocodile hatchling to capture footage of a mother crocodile meeting her babies for the very first time. We have circled the spy cam in red in the pic below. Have a look and prepare to be amazed. (3:02)
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Care to see dozens of foxes at Fox Village in Japan without having to pay a ton for air fare and lodging? Now you can thanks to THIS video sent in by Sharon “animal lover” Lansdowne. When the screen appears, click on the closed caption (CC) button in the lower right for English subtitles. (5:02)
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If you don’t think laughter is contagious, watch THIS clip received from Larry “Lumpy” Lundberg. Sponsored by Coca Cola, the experiment took place in a crowded metro in Antwerp, Belgium, and…well…see for yourself. (1:27)
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Here is an informational VIDEO for you guys who work out at a gym. It’s the perfect recovery that could possibly save your ego. Or not! (0:29)
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Rumor has it that the Corps is developing a class of Super Marines. Check out THIS video that Mitch Handa posted on Facebook and you may be inclined to believe it. (6:31)
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Galileo in the 15th century hypothesized that any objects falling to earth, fall at the same rate of time. He stated that a cannonball and a feather, if dropped from the same height, will touch the ground at the same time provided there is no air resistance. He had difficulty demonstrating that, however, because he didn’t have the technology to create a vacuum to prove his hypothesis. But four centuries have since passed and now we can prove his theory. The VIDEO is narrated by Brian Cox of the BBC. (2:34)
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Our final item pays homage to the only World War II Naval aviator who was killed in combat and buried inside his aircraft.
Loyce Edward Deen, an Aviation Machinist Mate 2nd Class, USNR, was a gunner on a TBM Avenger. On November 5, 1944, Deen's squadron participated in a raid on Manila where his plane was hit multiple times by anti-aircraft fire while attacking a Japanese cruiser.
Deen was killed. The Avenger's pilot, Lt Robert Cosgrove, managed to return to his carrier, the USS Essex. Both Deen and the plane had been shot up so badly that it was decided to leave him in it. It is the only time in U.S. Navy history (and probably U.S. military history) that an aviator was buried in his aircraft after being killed in action. (1:38)
to view the clip.
In the award winning documentary series, Victory at Sea, the episode entitled "The Conquest of Micronesia" aired several solemn and moving burial at sea scenes. The final and one of the most dramatic WWII scene captured on film showed a sailor buried at sea in the plane in which he gave his life. The plane was so badly hit by 40mm anti-aircraft (AA) shells, the Navy decided to leave his body in the plane. In addition, orders also came down not to strip the plane for parts - which was quite an extraordinary tribute at the time since aircraft parts were scarce and in demand. He is the only known USN sailor to be purposely buried with his plane. The documentary did not mention the sailor's name nor the carrier. Except for his name on a few website photos, very little was written about him - until now.
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Pic of the Week
Posted by a pre-school teacher...
THE FARSIDER SUBSCRIPTION ROSTER as of 3/23/17
Additions and changes since the last published update (alphabetical by last name):
To receive the email address of anyone on the list -- or to receive the roster with all of the email addresses -- send your request to <firstname.lastname@example.org>.
Abram, Fred & Connie
Allen, Chaplain Bryan
Alvarez, Pat (Campbell)
Babineau, Dave & Cheryl
Bray, Mary Ellen
Bridgen, Betty Ruth
Brown Jr., Bill
Burroughs, (Bronson) Utta
Carr Jr., John
Carrillo, Jaci Cordes
Clark, Bill (the one who stayed)
Embry (Howsmon), Eva
Foulkes [Duchon], Louise
Gonzalez, D. (formerly D. Avila)
Guido, Jr., Jim
Guido, Sr. Jim
Hare, Caren (Carlisle)
Harnish, Mary (Craven)
Horton, Debbie (McIntyre)
Howsmon, (Jr.) Frank
Howsmon (Sr.), Frank
Hunter, Dick (via daughter Kim Mindling)
Inami, Steve & Francine
Johnson, Tom & Fran
Klein, Lou Anna
Leonard (Lintern), Lynda
Muldrow, Mark "Mo"
O'Carroll, Diane (Azzarello)
Perry (Cervantez), Martha
Rappe (Ryman), Bonnie
Reyes (Buell), Cindy
Richter, Darrell & Annette
Schenini (Alvarez), Joanne
Taves, Phil & Paula
Terry, Glenn & Maggie
Vallecilla, Ernie & Peggy
Van Dyck, Lois
Williams [Durham], Lanette
Windisch Jr., Steve