"The
Farsider"
June 23, 2006
Bill Mattos, Editor and
Publisher
Transmission Time: 10:15 a.m.,
6/23/06
HEALTH &
WELFARE
For the
second week in a row, no news that would qualify as Health &
Welfare info has arrived. Keep hanging in
there.
NEWS YOU CAN
USE
If you use
Jiffy Lube to service your car, truck, SUV, bus, skatebord,
whatever, you might want to check out this link sent in by Tom
Brewer...<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1J7d2ssc3Y&search=jiffy%20lube%20rips%>Disclaimer: This web link leading to the Jiffy Lube
news clip does not necessarily represent the opinion of the Santa
Clara County District Attorney's Office or any of its employees.
(Well, maybe one.)
* * * * *
Two emails from TruthOrFiction.com that arrived on
Wednesday should be worth a moment or two of your
time...
To: TruthOrFiction.com
Subscribers
From: Rich Buhler
RE: eRumor Alert-IRS
Refund
There is a new scam email appearing on the Internet
today. It pretends to be from the U.S. Internal Revenue Service and
says that you are due a refund.
It has a link in the page
that allegedly goes to an IRS form to fill out in applying for the
refund. In reality, the email is not from the IRS; the link actually
goes to a web site in Taiwan. If you click the link and fill out the
form, you are giving the crooks almost everything they need to
either use your credit cards or steal your identity. The form asks
for your name, your Social Security number, your credit card number,
expiration date, security code, and PIN number.
The Internal
Revenue Service does not do business like this via
email.
~ ~ ~
To: TruthOrFiction.com
Subscribers
From: Rich Buhler
RE: eRumor Alert-Virus Warning
Hoax
There is a new virus warning circulating right now that
is very confusing. It combines a warning about a real virus with an
old hoax about a non-existent virus.
You may remember a while
back that there was an email circulating that promised to show
pictures of Osama Bin Laden's body if you clicked the attachment.
There were no pictures of Osama Bin Laden. If you clicked the
attachment, you got infected with a virus-like program that made
your computer vulnerable to a hacker. The virus did not cause any
damage to your computer, but it did violate your security as it
allowed your computer to be accessed so that the hacker could use it
to send out more emails.
There is now a new version of the
warning about the Osama Bin Laden email that claims the Osama Bin
Laden email contains a virus that will wipe out your hard drive.
That is not true, and we don't know how this version of the eRumor
got started. To make matters worse, the same email contains a
warning about the "Invitation" or "Olympic Torch" virus, which does
not exist. That virus warning is a hoax and is using the wording
from an even older false virus warning that has been around for at
least six years.
MAIL
CALL
(From Chuck
Blackmore -- In reference to my response last week's to Balesnano's
Mail Call inquiry about the meeting location of the PBA over the
years, in which I inadvertently misspelled Bini's by typing
"Beenies"...)
It's BINI'S!
The
owner was Abe Bini, married to Edith. Abe died when he was flying
his Ryan airplane drunk and crashed near what was Gish and Old
Oakland Road. He got drunk in his own bar celebrating his 31st.
birthday. Occurred just before Christmas. Abe and Edith lived next
door to us on 17th. Street, and mother and I took down their
Christmas tree and emptied out the closets and dressers of Abe's
clothing before Edith returned home. They had a son, Richard, who
entered the priesthood, but later dropped out. Abe's father, Casear,
drove a vegetable truck around town, having bought his vegetables
from Grower's Market which, incidentially, was located right next
door to Bini's restaurant. Casear is not to be confused with the
other guy that drove his truck around town with painted landscape
pictures on its side. What else would you like to
know?
CB
PS: Did I beat Moir with the correct way to
spell Bini's?
Damn! I knew the
correct spelling of Bini's. I spelled it correctly countless times
in the old fishwrap when I reminded PBA memebers of upcoming
meetings. The miscue was obviously the result of a brainphart.
Yes, Chuck, you did beat Moir to the punch.
Interestingly enough, what you wrote sounds almost exactly like what
I would have expected from Bob. Did you two have the same teacher in
that one-room school house where you two guys learnt to
rite?)
SNOPES URBAN LEGEND UPDATE
#263
--Help Bring Truth to
the Internet--
New
Articles
* Puzzler: Find a nine-letter English word that
remains a valid word as each of its letters is successively
removed. <http://www.snopes.com/language/puzzlers/9letters.asp>*
Missing child alert: Reachelle Marie Smith. <http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/missing/reachelle.asp>*
Glurge: A Flight 175 passenger who insisted upon retrieving his
forgotten tefillin delayed the doomed flight on 9/11. <http://www.snopes.com/rumors/tefillin.asp>*
Information about the 'New Graphic Site' mass-mail worm that affects
Yahoo! Mail users. <http://www.snopes.com/computer/virus/newgraphic.asp>*
Old rumor has it that some packs of Lucky Strike cigarettes contain
marijuana. <http://www.snopes.com/business/secret/luckies.asp>*
"Sun tea" (tea brewed by being left to steep in sunlight) can harbor
dangerous bacteria. <http://www.snopes.com/food/prepare/suntea.asp>*
Photographs show a hoe excavator that crashed into a highway
overpass. <http://www.snopes.com/photos/accident/hoecrash.asp>Worth
a Second Look* Old legend about a baby left in a
high chair to await the coming of the sitter who never arrives
attracts a "soldier serving in Iraq" variation. <http://www.snopes.com/horrors/parental/highchair.asp>
THE LIGHTER SIDE &
OTHER ODDS AND ENDS
I like the way Stan Russell thinks. He's wants to buy
some of these rocket balloons, tie them to his newly acquired
Harley, roar down I-5, and watch people freak
out...
* * * * *
For the few of you who haven't yet seen this, here are
several answers to the age-old
question...
Why Did the Chicken Cross
the Road?
Dr. Phil: The problem we have
here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with
the problem on 'this' side of the road before it goes after the
problem on the 'other side' of the road. What we need to do is help
him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'current'
problems before adding 'new' problems.
Oprah: Well I understand that the chicken is
having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So
instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take
falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car
so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like
the rest of the chickens.
George W.
Bush: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We
just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not.
The chicken is either against us or for us. There is no middle
ground here.
Donald Rumsfeld: Now
to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image
of the chicken crossing the road.
Anderson Cooper/CNN: We have reason to believe
there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access
to the other side of the road.
John
Kerry: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am
now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled
about the chicken's intentions. I am for it now, and will remain
against it.
Judge Judy: That chicken crossed
the road because he's 'guilty!' You can see it in his eyes and by
the way he walks.
Pat Buchanan: To
steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
Martha Stewart: No one called to warn me which
way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's
Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No
little bird gave me any insider information.
Dr.
Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a
toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not
been told.
Ernest Hemingway: To die in
the rain. Alone.
Jerry Farwell: Because the
chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth in front of
your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's why
they call it the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay.
And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we
boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the
other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's
as plain and simple as that!
Grandpa: In my day we didn't ask why the
chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the
road, and that was good enough.
Barbara
Walters: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming
story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, then went on
to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.
John Lennon: Imagine all the chickens in the
world crossing roads together -- in peace.
Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross the
road.
Bill Gates: I have just released
eChicken2006, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs,
file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet
Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much
more stable and will never cra...#@&&^( C \ ... Aw, crap.
Reboot.
Albert Einstein: Did the chicken
really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the
chicken?
Bill Clinton: I did not cross
the road with that chicken. What is your definition of
chicken?
Al Gore: I invented the
chicken!
Colonel Sanders: Did I miss this
one?
* * * * *
There seems to be at least one Sheriff with a sense of
humor who likes the drug forfeiture law, according to this photo
from Lumpy...
* * * * *
Here's an item that was voted "Woman's Favorite Email
of the Year"...A man was sick and tired of
going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to
see what he went through so he prayed:
"Dear Lord: I go to
work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife stays at home. I
want her to know what I go through, so please allow me to switch
bodies with her for a day. Amen."
God, in His infinite
wisdom, granted the man's wish.
The next morning, sure
enough, the man awoke with the body of his wife. He arose, cooked
breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their
school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them
to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the
cleaners, stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery
shopping, drove home to put away the groceries, paid the bills and
balanced the checkbook. He next cleaned the cat's litter box and
bathed the dog. Noting that it was already 1 p.m., he hurried to
make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, sweep and mop the
kitchen floor. He then drove to school, picked up the kids and
brought them home. After giving them some milk and cookies, he got
the children organized and started them on their homework. He then
set up the ironing board and watched some TV while doing the
ironing. At 4:30 he began peeling some potatoes, washing
vegetables for a salad, breaded the pork chops and shucked the
corn-on-the-cob for supper.
After dinner, he cleaned the
kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded the laundry, bathed the kids,
and put them to bed.
At 9 p.m., even though he was exhausted
and his daily chores weren't fully completed, he went to bed, where
he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through
without complaint.
H awoke the following morning and
immediately knelt by the bed to pray: "Lord, I don't know what I was
thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home
all day. Please, oh please, switch our bodies back."
The
Lord, again in His infinite wisdom, replied: "My son, I feel you
have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back
to the way they were. But you will have to wait nine months because
you got pregnant last night."
* * * * *
Bud Davis thought this photo of a feline with a lady
bug on her nose was worth passing around. Cute,
eh?
* * * * *
Ever heard of "Cremainlining?"
Larry Otter sent
in an email that purports to be a news story from a Florida
newspaper. It goes like this... When
Nathan Radlich's house was burgled, thieves left his TV, his VCR,
and even his watch. What they did take was what the police described
as a "generic white cardboard box filled with grayish-white
powder."
A spokesman for the Fort Lauderdale police
said "It looked similar to cocaine, and they probably thought they'd
hit the big time."
Then Nathan stood in front of the TV
cameras and pleaded with the burglars: "Please return the cremated
remains of my sister, Gertrude. She died three years
ago."
The next morning, the bullet-riddled corpse of a
drug dealer known as Hoochie Pevens was found on Nathan's doorstep.
The cardboard box was there too, but only about half of Gertrude's
ashes remained. There was also a note that read:
"Hoochie
sold us the bogus blow, so we wasted him. Sorry we snorted your
sister. No hard feelings. Have a nice day." Interestingly enough, a search for "Hoochie" on Snopes
returned a hit about this urban legend that dates back to 2001.
Check it out...<http://www.snopes.com/horrors/cannibal/cocaine.htm>
*
* * * *
THEY ARE OFF TO SEE
THE WIZARD!
Four United States Presidents get caught up in a
tornado and are whirled off to
the Land of Oz.
They finally make
it to the Emerald City
and go
in search of the Great Wizard.
An hour later they find
him.
"What brings the four of you
before the great Wizard of Oz?"
Jimmy Carter steps forward timidly
and
says: "I've come for some courage
like you gave to the
Scarecrow."
"No problem," says the Wizard. He
grants Jimmy's wish, then looks at the
other
three and says, "Who's next?"
Richard Nixon steps
forward and says:
"Just like the Tin Man, I need a
heart."
"Done," says the Wizard, and he
grants his wish.
"Who is next to come before the
Great Wizard?"
Dubya steps forward and
says,
"Some folks say I need a brain
like you gave to
the Lion."
"That one is a bit of a challenge,"
says
the Wizard, but consider it
done."
There is now perfect silence in the great hall.
Bill Clinton is just standing there looking
around, but he doesn't say a
word.
Irritated, the Great Wizard finally
says,"Well, what do you want?"
"Where's
Dorothy?"
* * * * *
The phone rings and the lady of
the house answers, "Hello."
"Mrs. Ward,
please."
"Speaking."
"Mrs. Ward, this is Doctor
Johnson at the Medical Testing Laboratory. When your doctor sent
your husband's biopsy to the lab yesterday, a biopsy from another
Mr. Ward arrived as well, and we are now uncertain which one is your
husband's. Frankly the results are either bad or
terrible."
"What do you mean?" Mrs. Ward asks
nervously.
"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for
Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for AIDS. We can't
tell which is your husband's."
"That's dreadful! Can't you do
the test again?"
"Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay
for these expensive tests one time."
"Well, what am I
supposed to do now?"
"The people at Medicare recommend that
you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he
finds his way home, don't sleep with him."
* * * *
*
Leave it to
Leroy Pyle to send in a "feel-good" cartoon...
* * * *
*
If you've never heard the
21st century version of the old "Who's On First?" routine made
famous by Abbott and Costello, here it is, courtesy of Stan Wilson.
Make sure your sound is turned on, and don't forget to check out
some of the other political funnies on the right side of the home
page...
*
* * * *
That's a wrap for a very hot
Friday, June 23rd.
C'ya
Cops-a-Field
by Tom &
Bill
I don't care what it says, Sarge, as far as I'm
concerned,
this is one of those Damn-the-Duty-Manual
days!
THE
FARSIDER SUBSCRIPTION LIST (as of
6/23/06)
Additions and changes since the last
published update:
Lance Bayer -- added -- mailto:lbayer@wwc.comKaren
Hildebrandt -- added -- mailto:karenwahl@msn.comTo
receive the email address of anyone on this list -- or
to receive
the list with all of the email addresses -- send
your request
to mailto:bilmat@comcast.net. "The Farsider"
June 16, 2006
Bill Mattos, Editor and
Publisher
Transmission Time: 10:41 a.m.,
6/16/06
HEALTH &
WELFARE
I'm going
to assume that everyone's motor is still chugging along as nothing
has come in this week that would qualify as a health and welfare
matter. Chaplain Bridgen and his wife, Betty Ruth, are enjoying some
well earned R&R in Hawaii this week. Hope they have discovered
the delight of sitting on a balcony with a mai tai and some
macadamia nuts while the sun sinks into the
Pacific.
A FAREWELL LUNCHEON FOR
WALT TIBBET
Friends and well wishers
of Walt Tibbet are invited to a farewell luncheon for the new
Alameda Police Chief at 11:30 a.m. on Thursday, June 29th, at the
Three Flames Restaurant. Tickets at $35 are on sale now and will be
available through June 26th. The price includes your choice of a
chicken, beef or seafood entree and the cost of the gifts. Tickets
are available from Michelle Martinez in BTS at 277-5176, Laurie
Sherr in the Chiefs Office at 277-4214, Vicky Way in BOI at 277-4244
or Anau Pulu in the BFO D/C's office at 277-4715. For further
information, contact Lt. Ruben Chavez at 408-277-4847, 408-219-6674,
or email him at
mailto:RUBEN.CHAVEZ@sanjoseca.gov.
MAIL
CALL
Bill,
Greetings from
Snoqualmie, Washington. I've been up here all week in the rain of
the Northwest. I received an email from my good friend and former
room mate, Tom Zenahlik. He would like to attend next month's PBA
meeting. As memory serves me right, isn't it always on the second
Tuesday of the month? Since Beenies is gone, where is the meeting? I
hope to attend with Tom as well. I know, "Will Wonders Ever Cease?"
Hope to see you there.
Your pal,
Bob "Crow"
Balesano mailto:crow1534@sbcglobal.net
Hi Crow -- PBA meetings are held on the "third
Wednesday" of each month, with the exception of December.
Twenty-some-odd years ago the PBA's Board decided NOT to meet in
Dec. because the third Wednesday fell too close to the holidays.
Initially, the PBA meetings were held at Manny's Cellar. When it
closed, the location was moved to Beenies. And when that shack next
to the tracks closed down, the PBA moved to the Elk's Lodge for a
short period of time before moving once again to the POA Hall, where
the meetings are held today. I know that's more than you asked for,
but hey, this is the information age. Bottom line: This month's PBA meeting will take place
this coming Wednesday, June 21st, at the POA
Hall.
* * * * *
Hi Bill.
I thought I'd pass on some news:
Many of us at San Jose North (the DA's Office) met at Harry's Hof
Brau on June 15th for a little retirement lunch for Uncle Joe
Brockman, as he is referred to in the office. Joe retired from the
office on June 8th and is now receiving 2 retirement checks. (Is
this a great profession or what?) He will be truly
missed.
Joe has been assigned to our Government Integrity
Unit, so he's been extremely busy the last 6 years. He and his
partner, Dave DiBari, have investigated all the high profile cases
that have been reported in the papers. Both are recognized as
experts throughout the state in the investigation and prosecution of
cases like those they have worked on. Fortunately, Joe has been an
FTO to Pete Oliver the last several months and Pete is ready to step
up to the plate.
All of us here at the DA's Office wish Joe
and his beautiful wife, Kathy, a well deserved retirement. Everyone
will miss his friendship and his great sense of humor. But all is
not lost as we have several openings in the office, and more of
SJPD's finest will be joining us. There is no doubt that the
Investigative Bureau of the Santa Clara County District Attorney's
Office is the best in the state because of all the great cops that
come from San Jose PD.
Thanks again for all that you
do.
Tom Brewer
Two retirement
checks? Is that all? He'll need to pick up a couple more if he wants
to keep pace with some of us. (Congratulations, Uncle
Joe!)
* * * *
*
Thanks, Bill, for adding me to the
subscriber list. And thanks also for running the article about my
book, "La Nostra Costa" (Our Coast) and the photo. The picture below
is of "The Old Rancere" holding a model of a "Rubber Gun." As you
can see by the expression on "The Old Rancere's" face, he obviously
has scored many "kills" using this weapon. In the book I go into a
detailed account of how I, myself, used this trusty weapon to train
for a future career in Police Work. As many of your subscribers
know, I was a "dead" shot.
By the way, if any of your subscribers would like
to hear my interview with Rachel Goodman and, as a bonus, hear the
"Old Rancere" sing a verse from that classical Italian song, "Quel
Mazzoline di Fiore," they can log on to <http://www.ksup.org/>,
then click on the archives and then onto Rachel Goodman's
Program, "Talk of the Bay."
Sempre
Avanti,
Ivan
Hi Capt.
-- If you'll promise that I won't ruin two perfectly good computer
speakers by listening to you try to imitate Pavarotti, I'll give it
a go.
(What Ivan mentioned in an earlier email but not in
this one was a book signing he has coming up. It will take place
from 1:00 to 4:00 p.m. on Tuesday, June 27th, at the Agnus Dei
Christian Bookstore at 138 Walnut Ave. in downtown Santa Cruz. As I
understand it, the Huerta murder and the deaths of Simpson and Silva
are mentioned in his book.)
And finally, a second email from
Ivan arrived that might interest some of you since he mentions
several names from the past...
Bill,
I am getting all sorts of e-mails from "cops" I hadn't heard
of in a long time. You certainly have a long reach. As a point of
interest, I have included a couple of pictures in my chapter on the
police. One picture was taken in 1970, at the Richard Huerta
funeral. Officers who can be identified in that photo include
Richard Yuhas, Jim Emmons, Jim "Red Dog" Larson, Tom Perez, Dave
Esparza and myself. At the edge of the photo standing at ridged
attention is Lt. Bill Brown. The second photo was taken at the
Silva-Simpson funeral in 1989. Although my big frame at the front
kinda hides everybody, Captain Bill Landsdown is behind me and
Captain Ken Hawkes can be seen down the line. I also have included
an article that appeared in the Gilroy Dispatch. Surprisingly this
article has been picked up on the Internet by the Italian Press.
Next week an article regarding La Nostra Costa will be coming out in
the Press-Banner (the Scotts Valley paper). I have not been
successful in getting it into the Merc. Do you know any reporters
there that I can contact?
Thanks again for all your
help.
By the way, how do you fund this operation? Let
me know how I can contribute.
Auguri.
Ivan a/k/a Ivano "della Costa"
Sorry, but the few contacts I had at the Murky News
have moved on or retired. As for "funding this operation," there's
nothing to fund. While many of my former peers have chosen to sit on
their butts at the D.A.'s Office and Federal courts in exchange for
an additional paycheck, what butt sitting I indulge in is done here
at home in front of the computer putting together the new fishwrap.
But thanks for asking.
* * * *
*
Bill,
Stan Faulwetter here. Don't
know if you remember me, but I work (still) for the SJPD. The word
is that if I provide you with an email address, you will add me to
the list of folks who get the "Farsider" that you publish. If true,
would you please put me on the list of recipients? I appreciate it.
My email address is mailto:mrnotar@yahoo.com.
Thanks much,
Stan Faulwetter #1856 -- 33 weeks
left till retirement.
Remember
you? I remember everyone, Stan. Wish I could make the next 8 1/4
months go faster for you but I can't, so you'll just have to tough
it out like most of the rest of us did. Welcome to the Farsider.
* * * * *
Yo William
the Magnificent,
Would you mind running this in the
Farsider? SJPD alumni both in the area and out of the area are
invited.
HJM (Harry Mullins)
From the Intellectual Center of Douglas
County
a/k/a the Desk of Harry J. Mullins,
Ph.D
541-672-8248
Gather All Yee
and Heed These Words
The Northwest Chi Pi Sigma BBQ and
Tale-Telling Festival at Fort Mullins, Roseburg, Oregon is a go for
the weekend of July 28-30. Planned events include 1) Eating; 2)
Discussing the 2010 75th Reunion in Hawaii; 3) The retelling of
stories that are only slightly embellished; 4) Sightseeing in the
wilds of Douglas County; 5) A visit to a winery or two; 6) Eating;
7) Taking naps
Cost is a mere
$20 per person.
Calendar:
Friday, 7/28: Welcoming
Dinner 6 p.m. -- until we fall asleep
Saturday, 7/29, all
day, food as available and wanted, main event BBQ at 5
p.m.
Sunday, 7/30, 9 a.m. until last person leaves, Fairwell
Foodfest
Meals prepared by Master Chef "Mongo" Mullins and
the wizardry of BBQ King John "Apples" Appolonio. Some of the ladies
will also prepare weird food like vegetable trays and salads, maybe
even some great soybean custard desserts.
Some RV and camping
spaces are available at Fort Mullins.
For those requiring
comfort and occasional peace and quite, the Holiday Inn Express on
Harvard Ave right off of Interstate 5 at exit 124 is the hotel of
choice. They will give us a group rate of $74 plus tax per night.
Just tell them this is the negotiated group rate and have them call
me if there is a problem. The hotel numbers are 541-672-7517 and
1-800-898-7666. The hotel is on the South Umpqua River and only 3.5
miles from Fort Mullins.
Please RSVP by July 20th so I can
purchase an excessive amount of food and drink.
Those who have RSVP'd as of 6-13-06 include Don and
Joanne Zembiec; Jess and Valerie Guy; John Appolonio; John Hart;
Dennis & Ann Holmes; and Ken Keim.
Harry mailto:hjmullins@dcwisp.net
NEWS YOU CAN
USE
Here's a link
for those hard to find 800 numbers. Once the page loads, click on
the A to Z listing to find the toll free numbers for companies like
Amazon, eBay, Netflix, Dell, etc. Might not hurt to bookmark the
link if you feel there's a chance you may have need for it in the
future...
<http://www.hardtofind800numbers.com/>
SNOPES URBAN LEGEND UPDATE
#262
New Articles
*
Image shows artist's conception of the under-construction warship
USS New York, built using steel from the World Trade Center. <http://www.snopes.com/photos/military/ussnewyork.asp>
*
E-mailed warning says a child who drank sour candy spray endured
life-threatening throat spasms. <http://www.snopes.com/food/warnings/bigmouth.asp>
*
Did Ronald Reagan once say (in reference to forest conservation
efforts), "If you've seen one redwood, you've seen them all?" <http://www.snopes.com/quotes/reagan/redwoods.asp>
*
Wife of famous golfer blurts out on TV that she kisses her husband's
balls for luck. <http://www.snopes.com/radiotv/tv/kissballs.asp>
*
We examine the accuracy of an e-mailed list of senators who "voted
to give illegal aliens Social Security benefits." <http://www.snopes.com/politics/immigration/socialsecurity.asp>
*
E-mailed warning says prepackaged salads can contain E. coli. <http://www.snopes.com/food/warnings/salad.asp>
*
Death hoax: Jaleel White (Steve Urkel of TV's Family Matters)
commits suicide. <http://www.snopes.com/radiotv/tv/jaleel.asp>
Worth
a Second Look
* Old legend loosed by Associated
Press in 1990: A couple copulating in a parked car are rammed from
behind, causing ejaculation and a baby nine months later. <http://www.snopes.com/pregnant/rammed.asp>
THE LIGHTER SIDE &
OTHER ODDS AND ENDS
Hardly any of us are old enough to appreciate these
"glamor gals" from yesteryear, but for the few who are, here's a
link that will take you to "The Pin Ups That Went to
War"...
<http://www.galbreath.net/bill/pinups.htm>
* * * * *
Gary Leonard wrote to say he would consider it a
personal favor if one of you would stop by his place while he's on
vacation for the next few weeks and water the flowers. He noted that
with hot weather on the horizon, they will probably need watering
twice a day.
P.S. The ladder is in the
garage.
* * * * *
Did anyone besides me happen to catch this video clip
of George W. talking about the illegal immigration problem on Fox
News?
<http://www.break.com/index/theboarderpatrol.html>
* * * * *
This link sent in by Gary
LaRault will open an 11-question quiz designed to test your
knowledge about foreign dining etiquette and whether or not you are
ready for international travel. Although I missed three of the
questions, the final page said I'm ready to hit the road. But the
old cliché of been-there-done-that applies, so I'm staying put. If
you want to see how well you do, click the link
below...<http://www.fekids.com/img/kln/flash/DontGrossOutTheWorld.swf>
*
* * * *
If you thought
those ride-alongs with the Navy Blue Angel and Bob Hoover last week
were a kick in the pants, come take a low-level ride with this guy,
but make sure your sound is turned on so you can enjoy the
music...
<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9T51UsuaPU&search=Flying>
* * * * *
For those of you familiar with Google Earth, I think
those young multi-millionaires who created the company have finally
gone a little too far. Click on this link and see if you don't
agree...
<http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7813256933733489580>
* * * * *
Roy Sanfilippo claims he's found the solution to
having a next door neighbor he doesn't like...
* * * * *
Looking for an inexpensive home security system? Just
follow these four easy steps...
1. Go to a second-hand store
and buy a pair of used men's work boots, size 14.
2. Place
them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns and Ammo
magazine.
3. Put a giant dog dish next to the boots and
magazine.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads "Hey Bubba
-- Big Mike and I went for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't
mess with the pit bulls. They attacked the mailman this morning and
messed him up pretty bad, so I locked all four of them in the house.
Better wait outside."
* * * * *
Stan Russel sent in this 10 question quiz that's
supposed to tell you where you stand politically. He said he wasn't
surprised that, according to his results, he's considered a
centrist.
After you answer just ten
questions you will know where you stand politically. This short quiz
shows your position as a red dot on a "political map" so you'll see
exactly where you score.
The most interesting thing about the
quiz is that it goes beyond the Democrat, Republican and
Independent. The quiz has gotten a lot of praise. The Washington
Post said it has "gained respect as a valid measure of a person's
political leanings." The Fraser Institute said it's "a fast, fun,
and accurate assessment of a person's overall political views."
Suite University said it is the "most concise and accurate political
quiz out there." Go ahead. Give it a shot. Just don't be surprised
at the results...
<http://www.theadvocates.org/quiz.html>
* * * * *
Russ LeGault sent in an email with a link to a video
clip of a truly amazing stage performance. But, not only will you
need to have a high speed connection, you will also have to exercise
some patience as the video clip is a huge file that will take a few
minutes to load. If you have the time and want to see something
really amazing, press
on...
Thousand-Hand
GuanYin
All 21 of the dancers are deaf-mutes.
Relying only on signals from trainers at the four corners of the
stage. These extraordinary dancers deliver a visual spectacle that
is both intricate and stirring. The troupe's first major
international debut was in Athens at the closing ceremonies of the
2004 Paralympics. The performance had long been in the repertoire of
China's Disabled People's Performing Art Troupe and have traveled to
more than 40 countries. Its lead dancer is 29-year-old Tai Lihua,
who has a BA from the Hubei Fine Arts Institute. This video clip was
recorded in Beijing during the Spring Festival celebrations this
year.
<http://www.advite.com/thousandhandguanyin.wmv>
* * * * *
You
know you are living in 2006 when...
1. You
haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
2. You
have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of
three.
3. You e-mail the person who works at the desk or
lives next door to you.
4. Your reason for not staying in
touch with friends and family is based on the fact that they don't
have e-mail addresses.
5. You pull up in your own driveway
and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry
in the groceries.
6. Every commercial on television has a web
site at the bottom of the screen.
7. Leaving the house
without your cell phone on your belt or in your purse -- which you
didn't have the first 20, 30, 40, 50 or 60 years of your life -- is
now cause for panic, and you turn around to go home and get
it.
8. You get up in the morning and go on-line before
getting your coffee.
10 . You sometimes find yourself tilting
your head sideways to smile. :-)
11.
On at least once occasion you have entered your password in the
microwave.
12. You are nodding your head as you read
this.
13. Even worse, you already know who you are
going to send this to.
14. You are too preoccupied
reading this to notice there was no #9 on this
list.
15. You actually went back to confirm that there
wasn't a #9 on this list.
* * * * *
Here's another one of those so-called magical games
that will have you scratching your head if you aren't familiar with
a mathmatical quirk known as "Casting Out
Nines."
<http://www.milaadesign.com/wizardy.html>
* * * * *
Looks like these future headlines from the year 2029
are still floating around...
Ozone created
by electric cars now killing millions in Mexifornia, formerly known
as California. English now recognized as the state's third
language
Spotted Owl plague continues to threaten crops and
livestock in the Northwestern United States
Baby conceived
naturally. Scientists stumped
Couple petitions court to
reinstate heterosexual marriage
Last remaining Fundamentalist
Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East, formerly
known as Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon
Iran still
closed off. Physicists estimate it will take a t least 10 additional
years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
France
pleads for global help after surrendering to Jamaica
With
Castro's death at age 112, Cuban cigars can now be imported legally,
but President Chelsea Clinton has called on Congress to ban all
smoking
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in
2036
Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to
$17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only
After an
85-year, $75.8 billion study, the key to weight loss has been
confirmed to be diet and exercise
Weight of average American
drops to 250 lbs.
Average height of NBA players now 9 feet, 7
inches
Massachusetts convicts and jails last remaining
conservative, but U.S. Supreme Court rules that incarceration of
criminals violates their civil rights
New federal law
requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and
rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030
IRS
reduces tax rate to 75 percent of income
Florida voters
continue having trouble with voting machines.
* * * * *
According to an email from George and Linda
Ozuna...
An old man and woman stayed
married for many years, even though they became to hate each other.
When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard
deep into the night. The old man would shout, "When I die, I will
dig my way up and out of the grave and come back to haunt you for
the rest of your life!"
Neighbors feared him. They believed
he practiced black magic because of the many strange occurrences
that took place in their neighborhood, and the old man liked the
fact that he was feared.
To everyone's relief, he died of a
heart attack when he was 68. His wife had a closed casket at
the wake.
After the burial, she went straight to the
local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow. Concerned
for her safety, her neighbors asked, "Aren't you afraid that he may
indeed be able to dig his way up and out of the grave and come
back to haunt you for the rest of your life?"
The wife put
down her drink and said, "Let him dig. I had him buried upside
down."
* * * * *
Breaking
News:
San Diego, CA: A Highway Patrolman pulled a
car over and told the driver that because he had been wearing his
seat belt, he had just won $5,000 in the statewide safety
campaign.
"What are you going to do with the money?"
asked the officer.
"Well, I guess I'm going to get a
driver's license," he answered.
"Oh, don't listen to him,"
yelled a woman in the passenger seat. "He's a smart ass when he's
drunk."
Her yelling woke up the guy in the back seat, who
took one look at the CHP officer and moaned," I knew we wouldn't get
far in a stolen car."
At that moment, there was a knock from
the trunk and a voice with a heavy Spanish accent said, "Are we over
the border yet?"
* * * * *
As we wind down the new
fishwrap for another week, check out this nifty piece of engineering
in Japan. Note the surrounding area, namely the mountains, sea
shore, golf course and the residential area. Any idea what's under
the dome?
Ah so! It's a dome over an
artificial beach, known as the Ocean Dome
Ocean Dome has its own
flame-spitting volcano and crushed white marble "sand" as well as
the world's largest retractable roof, providing a permanently blue
sky. Temperature, wind and humidity are closely controlled to
provide an ultra-safe and extremely comfortable "sea-side"
experience.
Imagine a beach where the sky
is always blue, it's never too hot or cold, the water isn't filled
with salt and pollution, and the surf is always perfect. Welcome to
Ocean Dome, the world's only indoor
beach.
The volcano erupts
every hour and the hi-tech wave machines start up, providing several
minutes of surfing.
Entrance cost is $50 per person
in US dollars, which may seem a little expensive given that there's
a free, natural beach only 300 meters away. Then again, there's no
need to worry about the presence of sharks, unless there happens to
be some vacationing American lawyers enjoying the
facility! * * * *
*
That looks like a wrap for
Friday, June 16th. Happy Father's Day to those of you who
qualify.
C'ya
Cops-a-Field
By Tom & Bill
I for one appreciate your ingenuity and
initiative,
but we no longer have a height
requirement.
"The Farsider"
June 9, 2006
Bill Mattos, Editor and Publisher
Transmission Time: 10:15 a.m., 6/9/06
DICK ANTHONY
Born 12/14/44 -- Died 6/7/06
Badge 1538
Hired 4/1/72 -- Retired 2/4/93
According to information from
Chaplain Bridgen and Jim Lucarotti, Dick and his wife,
Nancy, have been living on a ranch in Roseburg, Oregon. Dick
had been ill for some time and had been on life-support as a
result of problems with his liver. On Tuesday of this week
the decision was made to remove the life-support and he
passed away Wednesday morning.
Dick had been assigned to several units during his 21 year
career, including Juvenile, Burglary, Court Liaison and
Fraud. He was working in the Patrol Division of BFO in Feb.
of 1993 when he retired.
A viewing will take place this coming Sunday, June 11th, at
Chapel of the Roses in Roseburg, followed by services at the
same location at 1:30 p.m. on Monday. Memorial donations in
Dick's name can be sent to the Mercy Foundation Children's
Health Fund, 2700 Northwest Stewart, Roseburg, OR 97470.
CONDOLENCES
Condolences are extended to Brian Long and his family over
the passing of Brian's mother, Margaret M. Long. She passed
away peacefully on June 5th. Services are being held this
morning in Saratoga. In lieu of flowers, the family has
requested donations in her memory to Martha's Kitchen, 31
Willow St., San Jose, CA 95110.
Tina Sauao, a civilian who has worked in the Permits Unit
for the past several years, lost her 35-year-old daughter to
a heart attack last Friday. Also named Tina, the daughter
was married and the mother of two children. Services are
scheduled for 10 a.m. on Monday, June 19th, at the First
Samoan Congregational Church, 324 Gloria St., San Jose.
HEALTH & WELFARE
Chaplain Bridgen reports that Dave
Longaker's cancer is in complete remission, but that he has
a rare form of Parkinson's Disease that affects his speech,
thought pattern, thinking and balance. But that's not to say
he can't receive and understand emails from his friends. His
address is
mailto:longakers@earthlink.net
if you would like to send him a greeting. The Chaplain is
going to try and bring Dave to this month's PBA meeting on
June 21st.
The Chaplain also reported that Bill Wiskel has been
hospitalized at Kaiser-Santa Teresa. At first the doctors
felt Bill may have sustained a stroke, but that has since
been discounted. Unfortunately, Bill does in fact have a
case of pneumonia that has left fluid in both lungs. When
Dave stopped by the hospital at 3 p.m. on Wednesday to
visit, Bill was sleeping, but the nurse said he was getting
better. Visits are OK, but please don't phone unless it's
only to check with the hospital switchboard to make sure
Bill hasn't been discharged.
CONGRATULATIONS TO JUDGE CARR
While Dolores didn't win the race
for D.A. outright, she is in excellent position to take the
office in November. With 100 percent of the votes in,
Dolores captured 42.11 percent against the next leading
opponent, Karyn Sinunu, who finished with 33.62 percent,
giving Dolores an 8.49 percent advantage going into the
general election in November. The final tally for District
Attorney from the June primary looks like this:
Dolores Carr 74,347 (42.11%)
Karyn Sinunu 59,347 (33.62%)
Jim Shore 25,513 (14.45%)
Marc Buller 16,904 (9.58%)
Total vote count: 176,543
~ ~ ~
This is a short email the "Carr for
DA" campaign sent out shortly before midnight on election
night...
Dear Friends,
Thanks to you, we've done it! Your votes, support,
enthusiasm and hard work have paid off!
As of 11:30 p.m with just over half of the precincts
reporting, Judge Dolores Carr leads the four-way race for
Santa Clara County District Attorney by a substantial
margin. With 41% of the vote, we are ahead of our nearest
challenger by more than 7 percentage points. To track the
latest results, visit the Santa Clara County June 6th
Primary Results Website.
<http://www.sccgov.org/elections/results/june2006/>
Thanks again for your help, and please stay tuned for
information leading up to the November General Election!
~ ~ ~
This email from the Carr camp
arrived just in time for today's Farsider...
Dear Friends,
What's Next?
Thank you all for the e-mails and phone calls yesterday and
today! We are excited to be starting the last phase of my
campaign for DA. Here are a few items of note:
* Keep your lawn sign! We’ll ask you to post it again in the
fall. Didn't get one or want another? Just call our campaign
headquarters, 408-323-9661.
* Stay Involved! Your help with fundraising and door-to-door
efforts made the difference in our primary campaign. We are
now in a new 'election cycle.' This means you can help us
win in November by contributing up to a maximum of $500 per
person or entity, even if you maxed out in the primary.
Let's keep our momentum growing. Click here to contribute! <http://www.judgecarrforda.com/contribute/contribute.html>
* Open Your Home! Please consider hosting a meet-and-greet
reception. It's always a pleasure to meet a new circle of
supporters, and these informal get-togethers have been
critical to our success! Contact Phyllis at 408.858.6805 if
you are interested.
Sincerely,
~ ~ ~
This news article about the D.A.
election results appeared in the Mercury News the morning
after Tuesday's primary election...
DA Runoff in November: Carr and Sinunu
By Mike Zapler -- Mercury News
Judge Dolores Carr shares a laugh with Tam
Nguyen, left and Nguyen Khac Binh, as they
wait for the election returns at the Britannia
Arms in San Jose on Tuesday night.
Superior Court Judge Dolores Carr and Chief Assistant
District Attorney Karyn Sinunu are headed toward a runoff
election to decide which of the two would become Santa Clara
County's first female district attorney.
With most precincts reporting, Carr had opened a substantial
lead over Sinunu in the four-person race, but was short of
the majority of votes needed to win outright. That would
mean a November runoff election to succeed District Attorney
George Kennedy, who is retiring after four terms.
Carr is a former prosecutor who was elected to the bench six
years ago; Sinunu is a current prosecutor who rose to become
one of the most powerful members of the district attorney's
office.
The general election could bring a sharper choice for
voters. In the primary election, the four mostly unknown
contenders focused on promoting themselves and generally
refrained from challenging each other. That could change
with only two candidates.
"The voters will have a very clear comparison," said Sinunu,
which she predicted would work in her favor. "It's a whole
new ballgame."
"I think it is a brand new race," Carr agreed, "but we're
going to be consistent in our message -- that it's time for
a change, and that I have the qualifications and the
independent perspective that the community needs."
Carr heads into the runoff as the front-runner -- a
significant turnabout since the race began.
Sinunu, 58, jumped into the race in early 2005 and for
months was considered the candidate to beat. A longtime
senior adviser to Kennedy, she had insisted for years that
she had no interest in succeeding him but changed her mind
at Kennedy's urging.
Sinunu used her institutional advantage to gain a head start
in fundraising and endorsements.
But the dynamics shifted in a span of a few months last
year. In August, Carr, 52, decided to give up her seat on
the bench to run for district attorney. Bolstered by strong
support from police unions and a weighty job title, Carr
immediately was seen as a formidable challenger.
Soon after, Deputy District Attorney Jim Shore entered the
fray. With longtime community ties and an active five-year
stint as head of the county attorneys union under his belt,
Shore, 46, also had the political muscle to be a factor.
A fourth contender, Assistant District Attorney Marc Buller,
48, had deep experience as a prosecutor and manager, but
lacked the political network needed for a countywide
campaign.
Although the candidates remained positive, Sinunu still
became something of a lightning rod. In a seemingly major
setback, Kennedy publicly hedged his endorsement of Sinunu
in May. To what degree Kennedy will back Sinunu in the
general election campaign is an open question. The popular
four-term district attorney is Sinunu's most prominent
supporter, and losing his support entirely would be
damaging.
Meanwhile, other former high-ranking members of the office
who had worked with Sinunu came out against her, criticizing
what they called an abrasive management style. And Sinunu
was also put on the defensive by a series of often vicious
anonymous letters attacking her.
Sinunu tried to shift the focus to her biography -- starting
in the district attorney's office in the mid-'80s as a
working mom and low-level clerk and rising to become
Kennedy's top assistant. She touted her efforts to reform
police lineup procedures, a frequent cause of wrongful
convictions. And she reminded voters of her work to free
wrongfully convicted defendants who were prosecuted by
members of her own staff.
Carr went largely unscathed by comparison. Early in the
campaign, she faced questions in the Mercury News about a
Stanford doctor she prosecuted for rape in the early 1990s
who was later shown to be innocent. And Sinunu suggested
that Carr would not be independent from law enforcement
because her husband is a longtime police officer.
But those issues never gained much traction, and Carr gained
momentum. Despite entering the race relatively late, she
raised more money than her opponents -- and benefited from a
$51,430 independent expenditure by a political committee
called the Public Safety Alliance. She racked up a long list
of endorsements, from police unions to some prominent
defense attorneys. And she campaigned on a platform of
reforming what she called a "win-at-all-costs" attitude
within the district attorney's office.
~ ~ ~
A second article about the Carr-Sinunu
race appeared in yesterday's (Thurs.) Mercury News. I pulled
it from the paper's web site and am including it below for
those of you interested in the race but don't have access to
the Mercury News or are unfamiliar with the process of using
the paper's web site...
Stark Choice Offered for Top Prosecutor
By Mike Zapler -- Mercury News
Dolores Carr and Karyn Sinunu agree that voters will face
a stark choice between them in the race for Santa Clara
County district attorney this fall. It's the way they frame
the choice that is radically different.
Carr, a Superior Court judge, says the selection is between
an outsider who would bring a fresh perspective vs. a career
prosecutor partly responsible for a "win-at-all-costs"
attitude that has developed within the office. To Sinunu,
the chief assistant district attorney, the choice comes down
to someone with an extensive management and trial background
vs. a candidate whose experience runs wide but not very
deep.
Whoever succeeds best in convincing voters their view is the
correct one could go a long way in determining the winner.
The election will decide the successor to George Kennedy,
who is retiring after 16 years in the job. And the winner
will be the first female district attorney in the county's
history.
Carr appears to be entering the second phase of the election
in a commanding position. She received about 16,000 more
votes than Sinunu on Tuesday night -- 42 percent to 34
percent -- a margin that could be difficult for Sinunu to
overcome. Because no one received a majority, the top two
finishers face each other in a November runoff.
The other candidates, Jim Shore and Marc Buller, received 14
and 10 percent, respectively, and both said they have not
decided whom, or whether, they will endorse in the runoff.
Carr and Sinunu are pitching markedly different messages.
"I'm the only candidate who has worked outside the DA's
office," Carr said of experience that has "given me a
balanced and broadened perspective about criminal justice."
Sinunu said, "This race is going to be a clear choice
between a veteran prosecutor with a ton of management and
trial experience" and "a judge who hasn't practiced law in
six years."
Politically, Sinunu enters the general election campaign at
a disadvantage. Her second-place finish could make
fundraising more difficult because she no longer is seen as
the front-runner.
And based on how the primary unfolded, Sinunu seems to have
more hardened enemies than Carr. Sinunu was barraged by a
series of anonymous and often vicious letters, and several
high-ranking former prosecutors who worked with Sinunu
criticized her management style and endorsed Carr.
Carr, 52, served 15 years in the district attorney's office
until 2000, when she was elected as a Superior Court judge.
She has campaigned as an outsider who would bring a fresh
set of eyes to issues in the district attorney's office. She
is also touting herself as a problem-solver who has the
confidence of law enforcement and many defense attorneys.
Sinunu, 58, has worked in the district attorney's office for
20 years, starting out as a clerk and rising to become
Kennedy's top assistant. She has helped manage an
approximately $68 million budget and overseen a staff of
about 190 attorneys.
It is also unclear whether Sinunu will get help from
Kennedy, her most prominent supporter. He publicly hedged
his endorsement last month because of disagreements over how
Sinunu was conducting her campaign.
Kennedy did not return a call for comment Wednesday.
One factor that could play to Sinunu's advantage in November
is the makeup of the electorate. Primary voters tend to be
more conservative and some may have been inclined to back
Carr because of her support among law enforcement. Carr is
Republican, though the office is non-partisan and she did
not campaign on her party identification.
The general election could bring a more liberal turnout,
potentially boosting Sinunu, who has pitched herself as a
progressive Democrat. Sinunu also hinted that there will be
more opportunities in a two-person race to challenge Carr
directly -- a matchup she believes will work in her favor.
But even then, Sinunu has a lot of ground to make up between
now and November.
"The general election is much different than the primary,"
said political consultant Rich Robinson, who is spokesman of
the Public Safety Alliance, a political committee backing
Carr. "But to the degree that people have a perception that
the primary election influences the general, Karyn Sinunu
has an uphill battle."
SPEAKING OF THE PRIMARY
ELECTION
Looks like another San Jose cop
will wind up on the City Council. (Larry Pegram was the
first one I can recall.) Following is a letter Pete sent out
to his supporters the day after the primary...
Thanks to All of You, We Did It!
June 7, 2006
Greetings!
The votes are all counted and the results are in. I am
elated to announce that I am the newly elected District 1
San Jose City Council member! The win alone was extremely
gratifying, but the margin of victory (65% to 29.9%)
validated all the hard work that we have put in over the
last five months. In yesterday's election, it was very clear
that the voters in District 1 are ready for some long
overdue and much needed changes at City Hall, and that they
firmly believe that I am the person who can bring about
those changes. The confidence and trust you've bestowed on
me will spur me on to work even harder and help make San
Jose and District 1 an even better place to live, work and
raise a family.
I'd like to extend my sincerest and deeply heartfelt thanks
to each and every one of you who contributed to my campaign.
Your effort, whether it was a financial contribution,
donating your precious free time to walk precincts with me,
or just talking to your neighbor about me and capturing
their vote is what made the difference in this race. I truly
could not have accomplished this lofty goal without your
general support.
As you can well imagine, I'm ecstatic with the election
results. It's been a long and exhausting campaign, but
obviously well worth the investment of time and energy that
I've had to put into it. Now that the campaign is over, I'm
going to be taking a short break to catch my breath and
spend some time with my wonderful family who has been so
incredibly supportive. But once I'm re-energized, you can
rest assured that I'll hit the ground running, preparing
myself to take office in January 2007. When I am finally
sworn in, I guarantee you that I will take my duties very
seriously and will continue to work hard as your strong and
fiercely independent representative who will fight to
protect your interests at City Hall.
Thank you all again so very much for your confidence in me
and your support. I couldn't have possibly done it without
you.
Please don't ever hesitate to call me at 408-482-3686, or
email me at
mailto:pete@peteconstant.com.
All the best,
Pete Constant
CORRECTING LAST WEEK'S BLUNDERS
Bill,
Not that it matters much, but in the list of Chiefing jobs
held by SJPDers, you had me in Cortez, CO (home of Buck
Ballard). I have visited Cortez bars (to find Buck), but not
the Cortez PD.
I was Chief in Grand Junction, CO as well as Greenfield, CA,
and A-2 (Ass't. Chief) in Santa Clara. Forty-four years of
badge carrying in total, although not all at SJPD like
"Bird" and others.
Gary Leonard
mailto:HOYALeonard@msn.com
I have NO idea how or why I had you
listed as the COP of Cortez, unless Buck sent me a psychic
message from a Cortez bar during my Insider days for the
sole purpose of messing with my head.
On another note, when Alexandria, VA and Sandy City, UT are
added to Grand Junction and Greenfield, along with your last
job as Chief of the West Sacramento PD, from which you
retired, you may hold some sort of a national record for
having served as top cop at the most cop shops. (The
job you had as the second banana at Santa Clara doesn't
count!) :-P
* * * * *
Hi Bill.
Stan (Russell) forwarded the
Farsider to me and I noticed the article about former SJPD
folks who went on to become chiefs. I noticed that Scott
Seaman at my old alma mater (Los Gatos PD) wasn't listed and
thought you might want to know.
Dirk Parsons
mailto:ducksley@verizon.net
If Scott became the LGPD COP prior
to my retirement in 2000, he should have been on the list.
If he became the chief after 2000, he wouldn't have been on
the list because I no longer kept it current after I
retired.
I had a suspicion that by publishing that list of San Jose
cops who went on to become chiefs or heads of law
enforcement agencies elsewhere would generate some emails
with additions and/or corrections. That suspicion proved to
be right on target.
(For those of you not aware, Dirk is Stan Russell's
son-in-law as well as a retired Los Gatos PD sergeant. I
took the liberty of adding him to the subscription list so
his 72-year-old father-in-law doesn't have to try and
remember to send him the Farsider each week. I would hate to
be held responsible if the former rangemaster's memory
developed a hernia.)
After sending Dirk an email advising that he was now an
official subscriber to the new fishwrap, he responded with
this message...
Hey Bill,
Thank you for adding me to the list! The Farsider is great
and I can't imagine how much work it is to produce it.
I spent 20 years at LGPD and retired out as a Sgt. in August
1999 after having a heart attack. Fortunately, I lived to
tell about it and haven't had any problems since.
Although I never worked for SJPD, I almost feel like I have
as I have many wonderful friends who either work or worked
there. Bruce Raye and I have been fast friends since we were
neighbors in 1975. Others include Gil Zamora, Don DeMers and
Aubrey Parrott. I also had a roommate back in my single days
by the name of Clay Doolittle, who was a reserve and later
became a regular with SJPD. He left to move to Washington
state (in the late 80's I think) and retired last year as a
Sergeant with the Puyallup Police Dept.
Anyway, thank you again for signing me up. I consider it an
honor, especially since I'm an "outsider." (Don't tell
anybody from LGPD, but if I had it to do all over again, I
would work for SJPD!)
Dirk
* * * * *
Howdy Bill,
Was reviewing your list of those who went on to become
chiefs. I probably missed out on something, but I was
wondering why Lee Brown wasn't listed. As I recall, he went
on to become the Sheriff in some county in Oregon (where
they wore Kelly Green uniforms) and from there I believe he
was the top law enforcement official in Alabama when they
were having all the slayings. >From there, I think he went
on to being appointed the Drug Tsar by the President.
I'm getting old so I probably have some positions out of
sequeance, but didn't he also become the Police Commissioner
in New York City? And I think I also remember that Lee had
been the COP in Houston, after which he became the Mayor of
Houston before he finally retired.
Dick Tush
mailto:sonofatush@hotmail.com
(sigh) Yeah, right. Lee should have
been on the list too, several times over. (double sigh)
* * * * *
This email was in response to me
speculating last week that Mike Costa left the SJPD for the
Calaveras Co. S/O. Turns out I was close, but not close
enough to win a cigar...
Bill,
I was with the Tuolumne County Sheriff's Department from
1982-1999, and Sonoma County Sheriff's Department from Aug.
1999 to retirement, Oct. 2005.
Mike Costa
mailto:mmcosta@comcast.net
PS: Calaveras was my neighbor to the North.
Damn. At least I had you working in
the top half of California.
MAIL CALL
Bill,
Does anyone on your mailing list know whatever happened to
Sgt. John Jaeger? He left the Dept. to join the active Army
-- I believe in a Tank Co. Would like an email address for
him if anyone knows his where-abouts.
Thanks,
Bill Keeney
If anyone can help Bill out, his
email address is
mailto:Billhkeeney@aol.com
* * * * *
An email arrived Monday morning
from Ivan Comelli, along with a photo of the retired captain
and two other people. (Someone must have given him my email
address as he has never requested to be added to the
subscription roster.)
While the date of the radio broadcast noted in Ivan's
message has come and gone, I'm including his email as it
refers to a book he recently authored. If you speak and can
read Italiano, you should be able to zip through the email
in no time at all. If, however, you can't, you will probably
stumble and stutter your way through it like I did...
KSUP Radio (88.9 FM) Wednesday morning, June 7th, 10 a.m.
Rachel Goodman (con su voci d'oro) will be broadcasting her
interview with Norma (Dinelli) Wilson (una figlia di ranceri)
Billy Rodoni (un rancere moderno) and the "Old Rancere" (see
picture forwarded, below), taped earlier on the Rodoni Ranch
on the north Coast of Santa Cruz. They talk about the
Italiani super la costa and their ways of living and working
on the ranches, much of which is covered in my book, "La
Nostra Costa." Rachel may even play a part of the tape where
the "Old Rancere" sings "con voce di grido," Quel Mazzolin
Di Fiori. If she does and the "Old Rancere" gets enough
write-in votes, she may leave it in for a KSUP National
Radio Broadcast.
"The "Old Rancere" would be willing to do an encore (upon
request) at my book signing of "La Nostra Costa" (Our
Coast), on June 27 at the Agnus Dei Christian Bookstore
right here in downtown Santa Cruz from 1 to 4 p.m. That is,
if he shows up. Hmmmm?
"Con Un Bacin D'Mor"
Ivano
The book -- "La Nostra Costa" (Our Coast) -- was written by
Ivano Franco Comelli with considerable assistance from "The
Old Rancere."
"La Nostra Costa" is published by Authorhouse <http://www.authorhouse.com/>
Phone 1-888-280-7715. It is also available in the Santa Cruz
Area at Agnus dei Christian Bookstore, 138 Walnut Ave.,
Santa Cruz, Ph. (831) 457-2636, and at the Capitola Book
Cafe on 41st Ave. Ph. (831) 462-4415.
If anyone wants to send Ivano a
message, his email address is
mailto:ivcomelli@arilion.com
SNOPES URBAN LEGEND UPDATE #261
*Note: Remember those photos from a
week or two ago showing Muslims protesting in London and
carrying various signs designed to incite hatred of the
west? This Snopes update includes details about those
demonstrators and explains why the London police allowed
them to -- ta ta -- carry on...
New Articles
* Bereaved big cat raises pigs? Photographs show a female
tiger caring for a group of piglets.
<http://www.snopes.com/photos/animals/tigerpig.asp>
* Latest baseless scare: No, Certificates of Completion
do not block their holders for life from serving in the
armed forces, obtaining federal loans, and pursuing further
education and accreditation.
<http://www.snopes.com/politics/bush/completion.asp>
* Upsetting photographs show placard-bearing Muslim
protesters in London.
<http://www.snopes.com/photos/politics/muslimprotest.asp>
* Old rumor about a kid who dies doing the latest dance
step in a video picks up a "Lean Wit It, Rock Wit It" twist.
<http://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/dancer.asp>
* Bachelor's dream home: Photographs show rooms of a
townhouse filled with beer cans and boxes.
<http://www.snopes.com/photos/odd/beercans.asp>
* Last trip: Is a Florida company offering "euthanasia
cruises" for the terminally ill?
<http://www.snopes.com/travel/trap/euthanasia.asp>
Worth a Second Look
* Update to e-mailed claim that Casey Sheehan's grave is
as yet unmarked with a standard headstone.
<http://www.snopes.com/politics/war/sheehangrave.asp>
* Ancient legend about a bride fatally bitten by a snake
on her wedding day resurfaces in Montreal in 1983.
<http://www.snopes.com/critters/snakes/wedding.asp>
THE LIGHTER SIDE & OTHER ODDS
AND ENDS
Starting out with some fun stuff,
check out the Evolution of Dance sent in by George Ozuna.
This guy is GOOD, but you'll need a high-speed connection to
watch him...
<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMH0bHeiRNg>
* * * * *
Think you have what it takes to
ride with a Blue Angel? C'mon along. After all, what have
you got to lose, besides your consciousness and/or your
lunch? This link that originated with Ken Banner will show
you what it's like. After you watch the first segment, don't
forget to click on the little windows at the left of the
screen so you can watch the other two clips...
<http://alt.coxnewsweb.com/ajc/swf/blueangels/blueangels_lite.swf>
* * * * *
If sitting in the cockpit of an
airplane while it's zooming through the sky is your thing,
come on along for a ride with Bob Hoover, one of the
greatest aviators of all time. You'll sit directly behind
him in a twin-engine Shrike Commander and be amazed as you
watch him pour a glass of iced tea while he does a barrel
roll. What fun, as long as you didn't just finish a greasy
cheeseburger and fizzly coke...
<http://youtube.com/watch?v=vQpVI_aldB0&search=aircraft>
* * * * *
This item from Bruce Fair
mailto:bfair@osprey.net who
dwells in the "Land of Flat" will never happen, but it's a
fun read...
How great would it be to turn on the TV and hear a U.S.
president -- Democrat or Republican -- give the following
speech?
~ ~ ~
My Fellow Americans...
As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been
completed. Since congress does not want to spend any more
money on this war, our mission in Iraq is over.
This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all
American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete
within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.
Before me, I have two lists. One contains the names of
countries which have stood by us during the Iraq conflict.
This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria,
Australia and Poland are some of the countries listed.
The other list contains the names of the countries not on
the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that
list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both
lists later this evening.
Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign
aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and
indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone
will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.
The American people are no longer going to pour money into
third world hell-holes and watch those government leaders
grow fat on corruption.
Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call
France.
In the future, together with Congress, I will work to
redirect this money toward solving the vexing social
problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to
terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you
down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of
the earth.
Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or
maybe China.
I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations
with France, Germany and Russia. Thanks for all your help
comrades.
We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.
I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing
the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with
more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those
vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't
care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have
tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets
tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beemers and limos be
turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I
love New York.
A special note to our neighbors.
Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot
more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing
us off for a change.
Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire
corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. When
our troops come home from Iraq shortly I will have a couple
of extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess
where I am going to put 'em? Yep, border security.
Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA
treaty, starting now. We are tired of the one-way highway.
Effective immediately, we will be drilling for more oil in
Alaska, which will take care of our country's oil needs for
decades to come, until our scientists and engineers develop
cheap alternate forms of energy for all Americans. If you
are a staunch environmentalist who opposes this decision, I
refer you to List 2 above. Pick a country and move there.
It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its
own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. My answer
to them is, "darn tootin."
Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life
around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of
just about everyone on the planet.
It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to
eliminate homelessness in America.
To the nations on List 1, a final thought: Thank you, guys.
We owe you and we won't forget.
To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to
learn to speak Arabic.
God bless America. Thank you and good night.
~ ~ ~
(If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading
it in English, thank a soldier.)
* * * * *
The Powers of 10
Have any kids or grandkids running around the house? If so,
tell them to come over to the computer because you have
something very interesting to show them, then click on the
link below and introduce them to "Secret Worlds: The
Universe Within."
When the page loads, click the "Manual" button below the
photo so you will be able to control the speed of the zoom.
The paragraph above the photo will tell you what you will
see and what to do next. It's pretty amazing stuff...
<http://micro.magnet.fsu.edu/primer/java/scienceopticsu/powersof10/>
* * * * *
Most of you who have been
sending and receiving email over the past number of
years have most likely seen this so-called History Exam
sent in by Bill Mallett. Here's his message that
preceded the test...
Bill,
I got all 20 correct, so I must be "older than dirt." I'll
have to admit that I guessed the name of Caroline Kennedy's
pony, but I still got all 20 right.
Bill Mallett
(Big deal, Chief. I almost aced the
test first time I took it several years ago, and I DID ace
it each of the five or six times I've taken it since. And
when I took the test yet again after receiving it from you,
I didn't have to guess the name of Caroline's pony. So
there!) :-P
History Exam...
1. In the 1940's, where were automobile headlight dimmer
switches located?
a. On the floor shift knob
b. On the floor board, to the left of the clutch
c. Next to the horn
2. The bottle top of a Royal Crown Cola bottle had holes in
it. For what was it used?
a. Capture lightning bugs
b. To sprinkle clothes before ironing
c. Large salt shaker
3. Why was having milk delivered a problem in northern
winters?
a. Cows got cold and wouldn't produce milk
b. Ice on highways forced delivery by dog sled
c. Milkmen left deliveries outside of front doors and the
milk would freeze, expanding and pushing up the cardboard
bottle top.
4. What was the popular chewing gum named for a game of
chance?
a. Blackjack
b. Gin
c. Craps
5. What method did women use to look as if they were wearing
stockings when none were available due to rationing during
W.W.II
a. Suntan
b. Leg painting
c. Wearing slacks
6. What post-war car turned automotive design on its ear
when you couldn't tell whether it was coming or going?
a. Studebaker
b. Nash Metro
c. Tucker
7. Which was a popular candy when you were a kid?
a. Strips of dried peanut butter
b. Chocolate licorice bars
c. Wax coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water inside
8. How was Butch wax used?
a. To stiffen a flat-top haircut so it stood up
b. To make floors shiny and prevent scuffing
c. On the wheels of roller skates to prevent rust
9. Before inline skates, how did you keep your roller skates
attached to your shoes?
a. With clamps, tightened by a skate key
b. Woven straps that crossed the foot
c. Long pieces of twine
10. As a kid, what was considered the best way to reach a
decision?
a. Consider all the facts
b. Ask Mom
c. Eeny-meeny-miney-mo
11. What was the most dreaded disease in the 1940's?
a. Smallpox
b. AIDS
c. Polio
12. "I'll be down to get you in a ________, Honey"
a. SUV
b. Taxi
c. Streetcar
13. What was the name of Caroline Kennedy's pet pony?
a. Old Blue
b. Paint
c. Macaroni
14. What was a Duck-and-Cover Drill?
a. Part of the game of hide and seek !
b. What you did when your Mom called you in to do chores
c. Hiding under your desk, and covering your head with your
arms in an A-bomb drill.
15. What was the name of the Indian Princess on the Howdy
Doody show?
a. Princess Summerfallwinterspring
b. Princess Sacajawea
c. Princess Moonshadow
16. What did all the really savvy students do when
mimeographed tests were handed out in school?
a. Immediately sniffed the purple ink as this was believed
to get you high
b. Made paper airplanes to see who could sail theirs out the
window
c. Wrote another pupil's name on the top, to avoid their
failure
17. Why did your Mom shop in stores that gave Green Stamps
with purchases?
a. To keep you out of mischief by licking the backs, which
tasted like bubble gum
b. They could be put in special books and redeemed for
various household items
c. They were given to the kids to be used as stick-on
tattoos
18. Praise the Lord, and pass the _________?
a. Meatballs
b. Dames
c. Ammunition
19. What was the name of the singing group that made the
song "Cabdriver" a hit?
a. The Ink Spots
b. The Supremes
c. The Esquires
20. Who left his heart in San Francisco?
a. Tony Bennett
b. Xavier Cugat
c. George Gershwin
~ ~ ~
ANSWERS
1. b) On the floor, to the left of the clutch. Hand
controls, popular in Europe, took till the late '60's to
catch on.
2. b) To sprinkle clothes before ironing. Who had a steam
iron?
3. c) Cold weather caused the milk to freeze and expand,
popping the bottle top.
4. a) Blackjack Gum.
5. b) Special makeup was applied, followed by drawing a seam
down the back of the leg with an eyebrow pencil.
6. a) 1946 Studebaker.
7. c) Wax coke bottles containing super-sweet colored water.
8. a) Wax for your flat-top (butch) haircut.
9. a) With clamps, tightened by a skate key, which you wore
on a shoestring around your neck.
10. c) Eeny-meeny-miney-mo.
11. c) Polio. In the beginning of August, swimming pools
were closed, movies and other public gathering places were
closed to try to prevent the spread of the disease.
12. b) Taxi. Better be ready by half-past eight!
13. c) Macaroni.
14. c) Hiding under your desk, and covering your head with
your arms in an A-bomb drill.
15. a) Princess SummerFallWinterSpring. She was another
puppet.
16. a) Immediately sniffed the purple ink to get a high.
17. b) Put in a special stamp book, which could be traded
for household items at the Green Stamp store.
18. c) Ammunition, and we'll all be free.
19. a) The widely famous 50's group: The Inkspots
20. a) Tony Bennett, and he sounds just as good today..
~ ~ ~
SCORING
17- 20 correct: You are older than dirt, and obviously
gifted with mental abilities. Now if you could only find
your glasses. Definitely someone who should share your
wisdom!
12 -16 correct: Not quite dirt yet, but you're getting
there.
0 -11 correct: You are not old enough to share the wisdom of
your experiences. On the upside, you're younger than those
who scored better, and that should make you feel good.
* * * * *
Here's another item related to age
and aging. It's an updated version of the Age Gauge...
<http://www.frontiernet.net/~cdm/age1.html>
* * * * *
While we're on the topic of old and
getting older, here are some of the better short stories
about the elderly that have circulated over the Internet,
courtesy of John Henry...
An elderly gentleman in his mid nineties who is very
well dressed with well groomed hair and wearing a great
looking suit with a flower in his lapel and smelling
slightly of an expensive after shave walks into an
upscale cocktail lounge.
Seated at the bar is an attractive elderly lady in
her mid 70s.
The gentleman walks over, sits alongside of her,
orders a drink, takes a sip, turns to her and says, "So
tell me, do I come here often?"
~ ~ ~
Another elderly gentleman had serious hearing
problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor
and was fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed
him to hear perfectly.
He went back to the doctor a month later for a
check-up. After a couple of tests the doctor said, "Your
hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased
that you can
hear again."
The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family
yet. I just sit around and listen to their
conversations. Since I've been able to do that I've
changed my will five times!"
~ ~ ~
Two more elderly gentlemen from a retirement center
were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turned to
the other and said, "Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm
just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my
age. How do you feel?"
Slim replied, "I feel just like a new-born baby."
"Really?"
"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just dirtied
my pants."
~ ~ ~
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's
house. Afterwards, the wives left the table and went
into the kitchen. The two gentlemen remained at the
dinner table and were talking when one said, "Last night
we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great.
I would recommend it very highly."
The other man replied, "Really? What's the name of
the restaurant?"
The first man thought and thought and thought, then
finally asked, "What's the name of that flower you give
to someone you love? You know, the one that has thorns?"
"Do you mean a rose?"
"Yes, that's the one," replied the man. He then
turned towards the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the
name of that restaurant we went to last night?"
* * * * *
Think your dexterity is
good enough to score well at hairball bowling?
If so, give this a try. Wait for the cat's head
to get into the desired position, then click
your mouse and hope for a strike. The score will
accumulate just like in regular bowling, but you
will have to click the "Continue" button when
prompted. Be quick, because the cat's head moves
fast...
<http://upchucky.com/games/hairball-bowling.html>
* * * * *
I can't say who won the
"Ugliest Hawaiian Shirt" contest at yesterday's
Keith Kelley Club Barbecue because I left early,
but I know who got my vote. And it wasn't Donna
Mae.
If I can put together a montage of additional
photos from the barbecue and keep the file size
relatively small so the Farsider doesn't take
all day to load on the computers of those of you
still using a slow dial-up modem, I'll include
them next week.
* * * * *
In closing, here's a photo that
represents the ultimate in marital spats...
"OK, honey, we're here. You can come out now."
* * * * *
And that's a wrap for
Friday, June 9th. Congrats again to Dolores Carr and
Pete Constant.
C'ya
Cops-a-Field
By Tom & Bill
Actually, it was the police chaplain who
suggested that
a simple name change might result in a larger
turn-out
of the city's police officers.
"The
Farsider"
June 2, 2006
Bill
Mattos, Editor and Publisher
Transmission Time: 10:10 a.m.,
6/2/06
HEALTH &
WELFARE
Following is an email
received on Wednesday of this
week...
Bill,
I received this message from
Jean Ward this morning and am forwarding for your
information.
Pete Graves
~ ~ ~
Subject: Fran
Goff
Just some sad news to pass on if you haven't already
heard. Fran's husband, Mac, passed away yesterday (5/29) from health
complications. There is going to be a graveside service at
Santa Clara Mission Cemetery, 490 Lincoln
St. (cross streets are Winchester and Bellomy) in Santa Clara at
2:30 p.m. Monday, June 5th, with a reception following at Jolene's
house.
Fran Goff, 607 Crestview Drive, San
Jose 95117
Jolene (Goff)
Moody, 2314 Walnut Grove, San Jose 95128
Take care,
Jean mailto:jwward44@sbcglobal.net
If any
of you want to send a message to Fran, her email address is
mailto:frangoff@sbcglobal.net
* * * *
*
According to a message
from JET...
Marge Thompson underwent arthroscopic
surgery on her shoulder and arm this past Monday and is undergoing
rehab. She said the surgical procedure was done on an "out-patient"
basis, that she was at home, was "out of it" for two days, and that
"morphine is wonderful!" She expects to be off work for at least the
next four weeks as the therapists work at getting mobility back into
her shoulder, arm and wrist. During the next month, Gary is going
to have to either get used to the dust or learn to clean the house
himself.
A FINAL
REMINDER FOR KEITH KELLEY CLUB
MEMBERS
The club's annual "Aloha Barbecue" is set
for this coming Thursday, June 8th, at Napredak Hall. Beginning at
5:00 p.m., this year's barbecue will have a Hawaiian luau theme and,
along with exotic Polynesian food dishes, the Club will serve up its
traditional grilled Italian sausage, tri-tip steak, chicken, beans,
salad, garlic French bread and beef ribs. There will also be plenty
of soft drinks and "adult beverages" on tap, and the evening's
entertainment will include Hawaiian dancers, a DJ spinning your
favorite dance music, and an "Ugly Hawaiian Shirt Contest" open to
everyone.
All active and retired Keith Kelley Club members
are cordially invited to attend this free barbecue. Napredak Hall is
located at 770 Montague Expressway (1 1/2 blocks west of Highway
880) in North San Jose. We hope to
see you there.
(As a reminder, it is no longer necessary to
bring your own plate and utensils as in years past. They will be
provided, but you must bring your own teeth!) --
JET
POA BREAKFAST
MEETING
JET also asked that the
following reminder for POA members be
included...
The POA's June Breakfast Meeting
will be held at 7:30 a.m. this coming Tuesday morning, June 6th, at
the POA Hall. The results of the recent election of six Board of
Directors' seats will be formally announced at this
meeting.
HOW YOU CAN
HELP ELECT JUDGE CARR AS THE NEXT
D.A.
Dear Friends,
As the primary nears,
I want to take a moment to answer the question I’m getting from
supporters like you.
The question: What can I do to help you
get elected as our next District Attorney?
The answer: One or
all of the following:
* Vote! Remember that you must vote by
8 p.m. on Tuesday, June 6. This is the most important thing you can
do to help me win the election. Of course, encouraging friends and
family to share your enthusiasm and vote for me can easily double my
advantage.
* Hit the streets! I need help canvassing
neighborhoods. This is a great way to spend a few hours and your
effort will help swing the large number of undecided voters. Your
task is simple: Walk an assigned route (or in your own neighborhood)
and leave Judge Carr for DA information on doorsteps. Call Phyllis
at 408-858-6805 to sign up to help.
* Hold the phone! Another
effective way to inform undecided voters is with person-to-person
phone calls. These are quick, scripted phone calls that you make to
a list of selected phone numbers. We turn these marathon calling
efforts into fun by gathering at the Carr home, making the calls and
then celebrating with food. We can use your help for an hour or a
whole day. BRING YOUR CELL PHONE and meet us anytime between 10 a.m.
and 5 p.m. tomorow, Saturday, June 3rd. Please call Phyllis at 858
6805 so we know how much food to prepare, and she’ll give you
further details.
* Save the date! Make sure to join us for
our Election Night Celebration. We’ll gather around 8 p.m. at the
Britannia Arms, 5027 Almaden Expressway, San Jose, just
north of the Almaden Expressway exit off Highway 85.
Thank
you in advance for all your help with my campaign! I hope to see you
in the next few days as the election frenzy
intensifies.
Sincerely,
MAIL
CALL
(From Aubrey Parrott,
responding to last week's message from Dennis McKenzie regarding the
issue of who has been on the Dept. the
longest.)
Bill,
There are several of us who
are in the running for the title of SJPD F.O.G.
I think Dave
Longaker has it for total PD time. I thought I had it because, while
we both came on at the same time, he had 6 months of prior Reserve
time before July 1, 1961. I did have him by badge number, however.
John Trussler came on the SJPD on 8-1-61, so I had him by a
month. But he had been a dispatcher for one year, so while I have
him in PD time, he has me in City time. I think we are the only
three with 9 stripes on our costumes. In '06, the three of us will
each have completed 45 years of service in one month or another.
Time sure flies when you are having fun.
--Aubrey
Parrott mailto:aubreyparrottsj@sbcglobal.net
I was
reluctant to send an email back to Bird asking what the letters
F.O.G. stood for, thinking I should be able to figure it out on my
own. Ten minutes worth of head scratching later I tossed in my cards
and asked. He said it stood for "Freakin' Old Guys." Damn! Given the
fact that we're talking about people like McKenzie, Parrott,
Trussler and Longaker, "Freakin' Old Guys" should've popped into my
head immediately.
Using that logic, however, one might assume
that those cops who are a decade older -- like Sanfilippo, Brown,
Blackmore, Emery, Windisch Sr., Garringer, et al -- could in fact be
referred to as "Freakin' Ancient Guys." But there's no way in hell
I'm going to be the one to refer to them as F.A.G.'s. One or two of
them might still carry a gun! :-(
* * * *
*
Hi Bill,
I was wondering if you
could add me to your mailing list. Eddie Bettencourt has been kind
enough to forward the Farsider to me, but I thought it was time I
got on the list in case he falls off his boat or something!
All here at the DA's office say Hi. There are so many
of us here that it really is like San Jose North.
Thanks for
what you do. It is really great!
Pete
Oliver mailto:pvo510@comcast.net
Done,
Pete, you are now on The List. And "Hi" back at you (and the rest of
the ex-SJPD folks at San Jose North) from all of us who are 'fully'
retired because we have come to realize that our clocks have only so
many tick-tocks
left.
* * * *
*
Bill,
Don Hale sent me the May 26th
Farsider and it was great! Please add me to your list of
subscribers.
I retired on October 25, 2005, having
completed 34 years of law enforcement service, over 17 as the
second-in-command of a sheriff's department. I served at SJPD from
November 1973 to January 1982. Although I've been gone from SJPD for
a long time, I was amazed at all the names I remembered in your list
of subscribers.
I look forward to receiving the
Farsider.
Sincerely,
Mike Costa, formerly Badge
#1665
mailto:mmcosta@comcast.net
Hi
Mike -- Since you didn't specify the sheriff's department where you
finished your career, I'm going to take a stab in the dark and call
it the Calaveras Co. S/O. Why? Because I think I recall writing
about your departure from the SJPD in the old Insider a few decades
ago. Right or wrong, welcome to the new
fishwrap.
* * * *
*
Bill,
Do you have an e-mail addrss
for Walt Tibbet? We need to congratulate him on his appointment as
COP of Alameda. I was always greatly
impressed with him. And, it's another kudo for SJPD. Has anyone
tabulated the number of our members who have gone on to become
Chiefs of Police elsewhere?
Sure do appreciate all
your efforts with the Farsider -- soooo, thanks.
Stan
Tice mailto:snowgoose1990@access4less.net
Howdy
Snow Goose and fellow vessel owner,
Sorry, but I don't have
an email address for Walt. If anyone has one, please send it in and
I'll pass it along. For that matter, if someone does have contact
with Walt, ask him if he would like to subscribe to the Farsider as
he might want to stay in the loop.
In addition to the
chronological listing of all the SJPD chiefs from 1849 to the
present that I included in last week's newsletter, I also kept a
tally of Dept. personnel who went on to become chiefs at other
agencies when I was publishing the old fishwrap. As of six years ago
when I retired, they included (in alphabetical order)...
Bob
Allen -- Capitola, CA
Bob Bradshaw -- Reno, NV
Bud Bye -- San
Jose-Evergreen Community College District
Rich Couser -- Contra
Costa Community Collge District
Pat Dwyer -- Palo Alto, CA
Tom Frazier -- Baltimore, MD
Rich Gummow -- Juneau, AK
Bill Lansdowne -- Richmond, CA
Gary Leonard -- Cortez, CO;
Alexandria, VA; and Sandy City, UT
Mike Maehler -- Mountain View, CA
Dan Ortega -- Salinas, CA
Jay Propst -- Boulder, CO
Russ Russell -- San Juan Bautista, CA
Here's a story from the
May 26th on-line edition of the Mercury News about Walt and his new
job...
San Jose Police Captain
Tapped for Top Cop in Alameda
By
Sean Webby -- Mercury News
(SJPD file photo courtesy of
Insider Editor Juan Reyes)
San
Jose Police Capt. Walter Tibbet has been chosen as the city of
Alameda's new police chief, going back to the East
Bay department
where he started his law enforcement career.
Tibbet, 55, is
expected to take over the job in July. Burnham Matthews, the former
police chief of East Palo Alto, retired from the force last
year.
"When the job came open I saw it as a great
opportunity, a dream come true," Tibbet said. "I'm very honored, but
it's bittersweet. I've had a great time in San
Jose."
After seven years as an officer
with Alameda, Tibbet has spent the
last 26 years with the San
Jose department.
"Walt has served the
residents of San Jose with distinction, dedication, and compassion
for over 26 years," said Assistant Chief Tuck Younis. "He is
recognized in the police department and city government as a leader
who models integrity and commitment. Our loss is Alameda's
gain."
Tibbet's latest assignment was in the San Jose force's
Bureau of Technical Services overseeing the Communications Division,
Systems Development Unit and Operations Support Services Division.
Previously, Captain Tibbet was assigned as a commander in the
Department's Bureau of Field Operations; gang investigations,
narcotics, the Field Training Program, the Crisis Intervention Team
and others. He received the Medal of Valor in 1985.
"(Tibbet)
brings an excellent combination of education and experience, coupled
with an extensive background in community-oriented policing to the
position," Alameda City Manager Debra Kurita said
in a statement.
Alameda has about 100 sworn police
officers.
If any of you consider
yourself a buddy of Walt's, let him know about the Farsider. He may
want to subscribe so he can keep up with what's going on with many
of his former
peers.
SNOPES URBAN
LEGEND UPDATE #260
New
Articles
*
Foxed? Photograph shows a fox amidst a group of dogs. <http://www.snopes.com/photos/animals/foxhound.asp>
* Does an outtake from the Mister Ed TV
series capture the talking equine making a racist
comment? <http://www.snopes.com/radiotv/tv/mistered.asp>
* Yankee Ingenuity: E-mail describes ruse
intended to scare away littering Mexican construction
workers. <http://www.snopes.com/politics/immigration/ingenuity.asp>
* Petition addresses environmental issues
associated with the Pascua-Lama mining operation in
Chile. <http://www.snopes.com/politics/business/pascualama.asp>
* Do the five characters in Scooby-Doo
represent five Eastern colleges? <http://www.snopes.com/radiotv/tv/scoobydoo.asp>
* Are more collect phone calls made on
Father's Day than any other day of the year? <http://www.snopes.com/holidays/fathersday/collect.asp>
Worth a Second
Look
* A
legend built around a deceptive ad: An abandoned wife who receives a
diet aid ad in the mail examines the "personalized" post-it note
affixed to it, concludes it must have come from the woman her
husband is now with, and kills the homewrecker. <http://www.snopes.com/love/revenge/postit.htm>
THE LIGHTER
SIDE AND OTHER ODDS AND ENDS
Here's a pretty cool
interactive animation that shows the progression of the flooding
that inundated New
Orleans as a result of Katrina. Don't worry
about the request to enter your zip, DOB and gender. It's for
statistical purposes only and no spam will
result...
<http://www.nola.com/katrina/graphics/flashflood.swf>
* * * *
*
If you want to take
another trip down memory lane to yesteryear, make sure your sound is
turned on and click the link below. This is a good
one...
<http://www.peteyandpetunia.com/50sKids/50sKids.htm>
* * * *
*
George Carlin's concept of
a reverse life cycle has been resurrected from its birth over 30
years ago and somehow wound up on John Henry Kregel's computer.
Those of you in favor of reverting to it raise your right
hand...
The Reverse Life
Cycle:
The
most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is
tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of
it? A death. What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all
backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you
live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young,
you get a gold watch when you go to work. You work forty years until
you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs,
alchohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade
school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities,
you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your
last nine months floating in a nice warm spa...then you finish off
as a gleam. That's how life should
be.
* * * *
*
Ed Bettencourt thought
this story was worth sending to some of his friends. Most likely his
'male' friends...
A wife was making a breakfast of fried
eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the
kitchen.
"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more
butter! Oh my God! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY!
Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my God! Where are
we going to get more butter? They're going to stick!
Careful...CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You never listen to me when
you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you crazy? Have you
lost your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always
forget to salt them.Use the salt. USE THE SALT!"
The
wife stared coldly at him and said, "What in the world is wrong with
you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what
it feels like when I'm driving."
* * * *
*
Gene Adams says this link
is worth a visit. Click on it and see what you
think...
<http://objflicks.com/GladiatorAmericanStyle.htm>
* * * *
*
If you
have a high speed connection to the Internet and want to see a wild
police chase, click on this link sent in by Brenda
Herbert...
<http://www.wimp.com/crazyman/>
*
* * * *
This item came from the
Hoover Institution. I don't have to
tell you who sent it in...
When Osama bin Laden died, he was met at
the Pearly Gates by George Washington, who slapped him across the
face and yelled, "How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped
conceive!"
Patrick Henry then approached, punched
Osama in the nose and shouted, "You wanted to end our liberties, but
you failed!"
James Madison followed. He kicked Bin Laden in
the groin and said, "This is why I allowed our government to provide
for the common defense!"
Thomas Jefferson was next. He beat
Osama with a long cane and snarled, "It was evil men like you who
inspired me to write the Declaration of Independence."
The beatings and thrashings continued as George Mason
and James Monroe, along with 66 other early Americans, unleashed
their anger on the terrorist leader.
As Osama lay bleeding
and in pain, an Angel appeared. Bin Laden wept and said, "This is
not what you promised me."
The Angel replied, "I told you
there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you in Heaven. What did you
think I said?"
* * * *
*
Bill Mallett found this
relatively old item of interest. If you haven't seen it, odds are
you might find it of interest
too...
What a difference a century
makes...
U.S. statistics for the Year 1906:
The
average life expectancy in the U.S.
was 47 years.
Only 14 percent of the homes in the
U.S. had a
bathtub.
Only 8 percent of the homes had a
telephone.
A three-minute call from Denver to New York City cost eleven
dollars.
There were only 8,000 cars in the
U.S., and only 144 miles
of paved roads.
The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10
mph.
Alabama, Mississippi, Iowa and Tennessee were each more heavily populated
than California.
With a mere 1.4
million people, California was only
the 21st most populous state in the Union.
The tallest structure in the
world was the Eiffel Tower.
The average wage
in the U.S. was 22 cents per
hour.
The average U.S. worker made between
$200 and $400 per year.
A competent accountant could expect
to earn $2,000 per year, a dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian
between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about
$5,000 per year.
More than 95 percent of all births in the
U.S. took place at
home.
Ninety percent of all U.S.
doctors had no college education. Instead, they attended so-called
medical schools, many of which were condemned in the press and by
the government as "substandard."
Sugar cost four cents a
pound.
Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen.
Coffee was
fifteen cents a pound.
Most women only washed their hair once
a month, and used borax or egg yolks for
shampoo.
Canada passed a law that
prohibited poor people from entering their country for any
reason.
The five leading causes of death in the
U.S. were: 1) Pneumonia
and Influenza 2) Tuberculosis 3) Diarrhea 4) Heart Disease, and 5)
Stroke
The American flag had 45 stars.
Arizona,
Oklahoma, New Mexico, Hawaii, and Alaska hadn't yet been admitted to the
Union.
The population of
Las
Vegas was 30.
Crossword puzzles,
canned beer and ice tea hadn't been invented yet.
There was
no Mother's Day or Father's Day.
Two out of every 10
U.S. adults couldn't read
or write.
Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from
high school.
Marijuana, heroin and morphine were all
available over the counter at the local corner drugstores. Back then
pharmacist claimed, "Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to
the mind, regulates the stomach and bowels, and is, in fact, a
perfect guardian of health."
Eighteen percent of all
households in the U.S. had at least one
full-time servant or someone who provided domestic
help.
There were about 230 reported murders in the entire
U.S.
Think about
how amazing it is that I received this from someone and was able to
send it to you without having to type it myself.
Can you
even begin to imagine what life will be like 100 years from
now?
* * * *
*
A friend
who's a long-time resident of Miami -- and who has a warped sense
of humor -- is helping spread the word about the upcoming hurricane
season by sending out this
message...
To: Ex-Floridians, present Floridians,
future Floridians, and/or those who know a
Floridian.
We're about to enter the peak of the
hurricane season. Any day now, you're going to turn on the TV and
see a weather person pointing to some radar blob out in the
Gulf of Mexico and making two basic
meteorological points:
(1) There is no need to
panic.
(2) We could all be killed.
Yes, hurricane
season is an exciting time to be in Florida. If you are new to the
area, you're probably wondering what you need to do to prepare for
the possibility that we'll get hit by "The Big
One."
Based on our experiences, we recommend that you
follow this simple three-step hurricane preparedness
plan:
STEP 1. Buy enough food and bottled water to last
your family for at least seven days.
STEP 2. Put these supplies
in your car.
STEP 3. Drive to Nebraska and remain there until
Thanksgiving.
Unfortunately, statistics show that most
people will not follow this sensible plan. Instead, most people will
foolishly stay here in Florida, so we'll start with one
of the most important hurricane preparedness items:
HOME
OWNERS INSURANCE: If you own a home, you need to have hurricane
insurance. Fortunately, this insurance is cheap an easy to get, as
long as your home meets two basic requirements:
(1) It is
reasonably well-built, and
(2) It is located in Nebraska.
Unfortunately,
if your home is located in Florida, or any other area that might
actually be hit by a hurricane, most insurance companies would
prefer not to sell you hurricane insurance because they might be
required to pay 'you' money, and that is not the reason they got
into the insurance business in the first place. You may therefore
have to scrounge around for an insurance company. If you find one
that will insure your home, however, they will charge you an annual
premium roughly equal to its replacement value. And if you read the
fine print on your policy, you will see that, at any moment, the
company can legally drop you like used dental
floss.
Since Hurricane Andrew, I have used 27 different
home-insurance companies. This week, I'm covered by "Bob & Big
Stan's Insurance Company" under a policy which states that, in
addition to my premium, Bob and Big Stan are entitled, on demand, to
my kidneys.
SHUTTERS: Your house should have hurricane
shutters on all the windows, all the doors, and -- if it's a major
hurricane -- all the toilets. There are several types of shutters,
each with its own advantages and disadvantages:
Plywood
shutters: The advantage to plywood shutters is, because you make
them yourself, they're cheap. The disadvantage is, because you make
them yourself, they will blow off the moment the wind reaches 20
mph.
Sheet-metal
shutters: The advantage is that these work well once you get
them installed. The disadvantage is that once you get them all up,
your hands will be useless bleeding stumps. And it will be
December.
Roll-down shutters: The advantages are that
these are very easy to use and will definitely protect your house.
The disadvantage is, you will have to sell your house and your first
born to pay for them.
"Hurricane-proof'' windows: These
are the newest wrinkle in hurricane protection. They look like
ordinary windows, but they can withstand hurricane winds. You can be
sure of this because the salesman personally guarantees it. But he
lives in Nebraska.
EVACUATION
ROUTE: If you live in a low-lying area, you should have an
evacuation route planned out. To determine whether you live in a
low-lying area, look at your driver's license. If it says
"Florida," you live in a low-lying
area. The purpose of having an evacuation route is to avoid being
trapped in your home when a major storm hits. Instead, you will be
trapped in a gigantic traffic jam several miles from your home,
along with two hundred thousand other evacuees. On the upside, you
will not be lonely.
HURRICANE SUPPLIES: If you don't
evacuate, you will need a massive amount of supplies. Do not buy
them now. Florida tradition requires that you wait until the last
possible minute, then go to the supermarket and get into vicious
fights with strangers over who gets the last can of
SPAM.
In addition to food and water, you will need
the following supplies:
Twenty-three flashlights
and at least $167 worth of batteries that will, when the power goes
out, turn out to be the wrong size for the 23
flashlights.
One gallon of bleach: (No, I don't know
what it's for. Nobody knows what the bleach is for. But it's
traditional, so get some.)
A 55-gallon drum of underarm
deodorant.
A big knife that you can strap to your leg.
This will be useless in a hurricane, but it looks really
cool.
A large quantity of raw chicken to placate the
alligators. (Ask anybody who went through Andrew; after the
hurricane, there will be irate
alligators.)
$35,000 in cash or diamonds so that, after
the hurricane passes, you can buy a generator from a man with no
discernible teeth.
These are, of course, just basic
precautions. As the hurricane draws near, it is vitally important
that you keep abreast of the situation by turning on your television
and watching TV reporters in rain slickers stand right next to the
ocean and tell you over and over how vitally important it is for
everybody to stay away from the ocean.
Good luck and
remember: Despite the threat of a few potentially fatal hurricanes
each season, it's great living in paradise! Think about how much
better off we are than those nuts who live in California
and have to put up with a couple of major earthquakes every
century.
* * *
* *
Here's a cool link that
you may or may not want to bookmark or save as a favorite. Clicking
on it will instantly give you the exact local time at dozens of
cities around the world. And by clicking on any of the listed
cities, you will be rewarded with a wealth of information about that
city. Could come in handy if you plan to travel, or have friends or
relatives traveling or living abroad...
<http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/>
* * * *
*
Can you picture my former
partner in crime -- Tom Macris -- rampaging about the taxes he has
to pay while sitting in his skivvies in front of his aging Macintosh
computer in his reclusive digs in the little Santa Cruz Mountain community of Upper Gooberville? I can, except for the part
about the skivvies. If I thought about that portion of the image my
lunch might very well come up. Whatever the case, this is what Tom
sent out earlier this week...
At first I thought this was funny, then it
made me cry...
Tax his land,
Tax his bed,
Tax the
table
At which he's fed.
Tax his tractor,
Tax his
mule,
Teach him taxes
are the rule.
Tax his cow,
Tax
his goat,
Tax his pants,
Tax his coat.
Tax his
ties,
Tax his shirt,
Tax his work,
Tax his dirt.
Tax
his tobacco,
Tax his drink,
Tax him if he
tries to
think.
Tax his cigars,
Tax his beers,
If he cries,
then
tax his tears.
Tax his car,
Tax his gas,
Find
other ways
to tax his ass.
Tax all he has,
Then let him
know
You won't be done
'Til he's out of dough.
When
he screams,
Tax him more,
Tax him 'til
he's good and
sore.
Then tax his coffin,
Tax his grave,
Tax the sod
in
which he's laid.
Put these words
Upon his
tomb,
"Taxes drove me
to my doom."
When he's
gone,
Do not relax,
It's time to apply
the Inheritance
Tax.
~ ~ ~
Think about it:
Accounts Receivable
Tax
Building Permit
Tax
CDL license
Tax
Cigarette
Tax
Corporate Income
Tax
Dog License Tax
Federal Income
Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License
Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel Permit
Tax
Gasoline Taxes
Hunting License
Tax
Inheritance
Tax
Inventory Tax
IRS Interest
Charges
IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor
Tax
Luxury Tax
Marriage License
Tax
Medicare Tax
Property
Tax
Recreational Vehicle Tax
Road Usage
Taxes
Sales Tax
School Tax
Service Charge
Tax
Social Security Tax
State Income Tax
Telephone
Federal Excise Tax
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee
Tax
Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge
Taxes
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax
Telephone
Recurring and Non-Recurring Charges Tax
Telephone
State and Local
Taxes
Telephone Usage Charge
Tax
Unemployment
Tax (SUTA)
Utility
Taxes
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales
Tax
Watercraft registration Tax
Well Permit
Tax
Workers Compensation Tax
Not one of these taxes
existed 100 years ago and our nation was the most prosperous in the
world, had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class
in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.
What
happened?
* * * *
*
Speaking of Macris, his
cat just gave birth and Tom is looking for a new home for these
adorable little kittens. Email him at mailto:tfmacris@comcast.net if
you are interested in taking one off his
hands.
* * * *
*
Stan Wilson sent in one of
those email brain burners that will have a lot of you scratching
your head and wondering how was it
done...
Subject: A Game for the
Farsider
This will boggle your mind.
After you click
on the link below, take your time and follow the instructions.
After reading each window, click on the boy in the lower
right corner.
In the last window, type your answer in the box
using your keyboard (there is an invisible cursor in the middle of
the box, so just type it in).
You will be amazed. And no, I
don't know how it's done.
Click here: <http://digicc.com/fido/>
Stan mailto:stanwilson@sbcglobal.net
* * * *
*
Speaking of head
scratching, these two topics have caused me to scratch
mine...
Award Shows: Can you believe how many
award shows they have now? There's even an award show for
commercials called the "Cleo Awards." That's right, an entire show
full of commercials. I taped it last time it was on. Then I sat down
to watch it and, out of habit, fast-forwarded through the whole damn
show.
~ ~ ~
Phone-in Polls: You know those shows
where people call in and vote on different issues or topics? Did you
ever notice that there is always something like 10-20 percent of the
people who vote and choose the option "I don't know" or "No
opinion?" It costs 90 cents to call up and vote and they choose "I
don't know" or "I don't have an opinion."
"Honey, I feel very
strongly about this. Give me the phone." (Dials the toll number and
chooses the option "I don't know" or "I have no opinion." Then he
hangs up, looks proudly at his wife and says, "Sometimes you have to
stand up for what you believe you are not sure of or have no opinion
about!"
This is probably the same guy who calls those phone
sex numbers at $4.95 a minute and says to the woman on the other end
of the line: "Sorry, I'm not in the mood!"
* * * *
*
In closing, here's the
most common email that came in this
week...
~ ~ ~
A Win Win Solution to Two
Problems:
Dig a moat along the entire length of the
Mexican border.
Take the dirt and use it to raise the levies
in New
Orleans.
Fill the moat with
water.
Relocate all of Florida's gators to the
moat.
Any other problems you would like me to solve?
~
~ ~
That's a wrap for Friday,
June 2nd. Don't forget to vote! And try not to choose "I
don't know" or "I have no
opinion."
C'ya
Cops-a-Field
By
Tom & Bill
This is a Chief's
Staff Meeting, Brewer. You'd best turn off your vibrating pager
before the boss arrives.
THE FARSIDER SUBSCRIPTION LIST
(as of 6/2/06)
Additions and changes since the last
published update:
Mike Costa -- added -- mailto:mmcosta@comcast.net
Pete Oliver -- added -- mailto:pvo510@comcast.net
Jerry Wilson -- deleted (email account
closed)
To
receive the email address of anyone on this list -- or
to receive
the list with all of the email addresses -- send
your request
to mailto:bilmat@comcast.net.
|
|
| |
This is the message box, using the
scroller component.
|
|
|
|
|
Place your text here.
|
